Here's my junk for yea.

Follow these rules to maintain your sanity


1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for s$egxsgmual fsdafvxors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what $ex they are. Laugh hysterically after they
answer.
11. Specify tha! t your drive-through! order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape
of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend
their party because you're not in the mood.
16. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"
17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
18. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go."
19. Put this in all of your profiles.