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2006-06-22 13:39:10
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Orc Poetry Contest, Page 2

Please see the rules on the main page:

Official Orc Poetry Contest


Reminder 1: Number your entries, and separate them with the <hr> tag.
Reminder 2: There is a theme. It is "ORCS"
The poems must be about orcs or in orcish style!
Make sure the entries fit the theme, or they will be removed.

00. Untitled
I drink my breakfast ale
while I put my wife on sale
Time to go and kill an elf
so that I get meat for myself

Written by [Hedda]

0. Untitled
Ark agahr dron naduk
Wannak fag morun droun
Arka gundda for soe elf
Erte drak mambra selt

Written by [All_Most PUNK]


41. Orcs!!!

orcs, orcs everywhere and not a place to run.
with their giant axes and blades they march onward
too stupid to stop or to know where their going. I
smelled them a mile away and yet they surround me.
their pungent smell was everywhere and I cannot get
away!!! then I saw a remarkable thing I wish I'd never
seen. there stood the orcish queen amid her quarrelling
hoard. I wish I could say she stood there in regal
beauty but that would be a lie. Her clothes if you
Could them clothes were of roughly sewn pelts from
Wolves and rabbits. Her only weapon was her "royal"
Scepter which was fashioned of twisted pine and a
Green pebble shoved in the middle. Her face was like
Any other orc with a pushed nose and yellow protruding
Tusks, her eyes were large and grey filled with rage
And anger. Then she gave the order to attack and I kissed
My life goodbye but right before the hit a mage appeared
And sent a giant fireball hurling into the hoard.

Written by [Big Larry]

42. nursery rhyme
for little orclings

sticks and stones,
break your bones.
knife so thin,
cuts through skin.
sword and spear,
impales a bear.
an arrow or twelve,
slaughters an elf.
but nothing, you dork,
can kill an orc.

Written by [Sue Falkenkralle]

43. Please, pity the Orcs.

It's a special thing to be an Orc.
An Orc is very hard to be.
You have to grunt a lot,
And you're never allowed to drink tea.

You have to be tall and strong.
Maybe a little ugly too.
Can anyone tell the difference between Orc men and women?
I swear, it's a hard thing to do.

But not all Orcs are bad.
Truly, they're not.
They're just misunderstood.
Please, pity the poor Orcs.

Written by [sequeena_rae]

44. Me is an Orc.

Me is an Orc.
Me like to be an Orc.
Me no like Elves,
They no smell.

"Tis a fine thing to be an Orc",
Me dad used to always say.
But then me mum kill him,
Said he was in the way.

Me likes to plunder,
Villages is fun places to play.
But villagers don't like us,
Say we is smelly.
Me no think that is a bad thing.

Humans no like me,
Me no like them too.
So me gets me sharp sword,
And slice them in two!

Shiny shiny, sharp sword,
Slash, swipe, crunch, bang!
Silly human has no head now,
But silly human make good meal!

Written by [sequeena_rae]

45. All that is Mine

My axe is big and sharp,
It hacks through flesh good.
It destroyed some fairy’s harp,
Then it killed her, as any orc’s axe should.

My fangs are horrific,
They make all who see them sick.
Bloody and long,
They eat all who go where they don’t belong.

My wife is loud and mean,
Hurts me ears, and breaks me things.
Sometimes I want to eat her spleen,
But I do like the way she cooks fairy wings.

My smell is very powerful,
Makes elves puke, how delightful.
I bathe in a bog of eternal stench,
I spray me-self with skunks too, that does the pinch.

My life is great,
All I do is fight, breathe, eat, and mate.
Might not seem good to you,
But it is mine, and it’s what orcs do.

Written by [-Britt-]

46. Tap-tap lonely orc song

I’m an orc!
I live in York!
I need a friend.
Friendship without end!
That’s all I need
To be sweet!
I am so cute!
I’d like a root!
I am so green
But not a queen!
It’s fine to eat bean.
I hate routine!
I’m just an orc!
Who wants a real good friend!

Written by [a clockwork orange]

Orcs live today, with blood we shall shed
Armor shall pierce, all living creatures will be dead
The war has started, no lingering of humans
Corpses will be carted, none not even true men
Death is upon us no way out
Death is upon us no way we will win this bout
The orcs will thrive, day and night
We will never win this fight
Elves will die, they will cry
Don’t go by, say goodbye

Written by [THT2010]

48. The feast

Dark winding caves
Sound of axd blades
Slamming and grinding
Food for the feast
In the large
Gathering hall
Tourches high and burning
As the head
Of the table stands
Axes fall to sides
Silence falls
They begin to speak
Then the feast begins
Through all the hall
Down out the cave
To the entrance
Joy is heard
Mary making and feast
As the next orc
Starts to travel
To the great feast
And dinning hall

Written by [Diiwica]

49. "Ode to Orcish Dishes"

The dear Orc McClishes
Absolutely despised doing the dishes
His wife ol' Mrs. McClishes
Never lets him do what he wishes
He'd rather be throwing axes
And by the battle grounds, relaxes
Then wiping the filth
and scrubbing the tilth
From those damned ol' dishes

The dinner he was wiping that night
Was a crusted orcish delight
It was the essence of elf-ight
Diced with a bit of raw kite (the bird >.>)
The warts on his fingers
Blistered with the filth that lingers
His faced twisted like the ingers
From those damned ol' dishes

Of course, as an orc
He would rather be out hunting pork
Or killing elves with a torque
And eating them with his mighty fork
He would rather be sharpening an axe
Then suffer in this time of pax
Poor ol' McClishes cannot have what he wishes
All because of Mrs. McClishes and her damn ol' dishes!

Written by [Paz]

50. "The Hungry Orc"

An orc with a folk!!!!
And my nose he broke!
I made a joke!
Now, orc hungry!
And he’s very angry!
He needs some food!
Orc my nose chewed!
And my nose he broke!
He wants to eat my leg!
But I give him an egg!
He eats my leg
And don’t want the egg!
So, I throw to him a chicken leg!
He says: MEH!
He wants my leg!
Please, help!
Otherwise I will yelp!

Written by [''Nevillia'']

51.The Way of the Wandering Orc

The reverberation of metal could be heard
As the fight raged through out the night
Who would come out as the victor now
And who would loose this time their life
For one shall survive and one shall die
The dead not mourned but tossed away
While the conqueror would now rule them

The strongest will always command the rest
Be the ruler male or female matters not
One will do as well as the next to them
If they are the fiercest one of their race
They will follow them where they may lead
Until the time another takes up the helm
For this is the way of the wandering Orcs

Written by [Viperess]

52.The Orcs just trudge along

Trudge trudge trudge …
The orcs trudge on
Making their way
To the dark kingdom
They have no emotion
They have no soul
They are just servants
Of the dark lord
They fight for him
They die for him
To serve him they
Just trudge trudge trudge along

Written by [£\\ROcK: aNd : RoLl :qUEeN//%]

53. Grull

Grull live in tree
He like to pee
Him wish he as cool as me
but me is free.

Written by Wurmok ([Danboo])

54. Durg
Durg is an orc.
He likes to eat pork.
He never uses a fork.
He picks bugs out of his hair.
While he sits in his lair.
Chewing on a bear.
He smells like a rotton fish.
Oh how I wish...
He would die.

Written by [Stephen] and [Draconas Lyrr]

55. Naighte
Hi Licke to partey
hi licke to dreink
But hi licke more the alley
and thys stupit poemme hi thinked

Hi met the cutest elftrash
hi asked she name
she said me hi have a rash
hi eat her without shame

hi drink beer
never whater
whater is for queer
hi preeefer to cheer

Never got laid
still a virgein
tried with a maid
but she was cookin

Am making sence?
provavly not
trying to ryme now
i pick the word POT

guday now
am going to slip
cause its late now
to continue this shit

Written by [Shjahjdahdvwa]

56.My rage to feed

I was buried alive, covered in Dirt,
deep beneath the earth’s crust
and I only played with a skirt!
I rise out of hell first!

I’ve been corrupted and enslaved,
I’ve been raised to kill!
I have no time to be baved.
I need my body to fill!

I’m burdened to live like this
It isn’t exactly bliss
If I had a wish: it would be death,
to all, which have breath!

Written by [shadow dust]

The green fleshy skin darkened with mud,
In battle the bodies all falling with thuds,
The teeth so yellow and long,
Body so bold, big and strong,
The axes crimson and shiny,
Nails all curled and grimy,
Past bone collections made into armour,
Clatter as they fight hour after hour,
They never sleep,
They never rest,
Watch they're coming for you next.

Written by [Moonshdow13]

58. Untitled
O Orc, so brutish and Strong.
Everything you do seems so wrong!
I oft wonder if anything goes on inside that skull.
Am I just too blind to tell legend from truth?
Is it what I have head about you that keeps me from the truth?

I would have a look if you would let me.
After all humans started off much the same.
Though not much better are we now.
A lot alike are a human and an orc,
Just two separate paths did we trod on a road with a fork.

Fighting amongst yourselves sometimes just to survive
Other times just for greed and to strive.
Shoulder to shoulder with your rival, now your brother-in-arms,
Only when the clan is threatened will inner hatred be rent!
O Orc, so smart and violent!

Written by [Panophobia]

59. Orcish poetry critique
A 'umie poet named Mick
Were all 'ittin dead 'orse wid stick
Wat did'e mean?
Is it not easy being green?
So I 'it 'is face wid brick

Written by [The Coffee-Prophet]

60. Rain
Me likes the rain,
The thunder, the lightnin’!
Me likes the rain,
‘specially when Me fightin’!

Lightnin’ flashes,
Thunder goes BOOM!
Me laughs while carryin’
Me axe of Doom!

Me fights Me foes,
Axe goes Slash!
Foes go down
In bloody puddle – SPLASH!

Rain makes mud,
Covers up dead foes!
Mud go Squish
Between Me toes!

Me hate the rain,
Makes Me clean!
Washes away filth
And blood – Obscene!

Me friend Og
She hates the rain!
Makes her scream
Out in pain!

Just like that witch
Who melted when wet!
It just a kiddie story,
One Og never forget!

Me likes the rain
The lightnin’, the thunder!
Cuz during the rain,
All foes Me sunder!

Written by [Flue]


Little flies are little things
Mighty gods are Mighty things
Mighty seas that never cease
Powerful Orcs are mighty elves
That can never ever be conquered

Strongest of all elfs,
how great thou art
Ugliest of all creatures
But king and defender
of all elves and ferries
May you reign for ever

Written by [Lakayana]


Countless tin tankards clanking the crude stone table
Swaggering soldiers chanting as drunkenly able.
The orcish chieftain burps resoundingly clear—
“That was my toast for our little elven dears!
Dead and bloated and festering on the field,
Those high and mighty twits should’ve known to yield.
Pretentious turds sticking their noses in magic books,
Having no common sense, judging orcs only on our looks.
All that ravishing and looting justified our losses.
We oughtta thank our mighty necromancer bosses
Their protection is their overdue payback
For taking out the elven wizard, a little way back.
So let us eat and revel and sing so hearty—
Only when we pass out shall we end this party.
Who’s that whiny scum who sang, 'It Ain’t Easy Being Green?'
Someone cock the bow and shoot it through his bean!
An orc's life is fun and lusty---so feral and true.
In the end our enemies will fall in love with us, too.
Green is hella sexy, and big teeth and bad breath are the way to go.
Orcs tell it like it is, earthly passions making our juices flow.
Orcs revel in being wantonly cunning, base and crude.
It can't suck enough, being a snobby righteous elven prude.
Only they know if they'll bend a knee or bend over with pleasure.
Their compliance shall outshine the bling-blingiest treasure.
So let us together fart happily and burp an elven toast---
By conquest with lusty blades and bladed lust, we will coast!"

Written by [Paul Doyle]
(c) 2006 Paul J. Doyle. All Rights Reserved.

63. An Orc's Meal

"So, I'm an Orc.
What if I am?
Don't need your permission
Nor judgement, so scram!
Your just a measely elf
The likes of you, ugh!
Your opinions are worthless.
You'll squash like a bug!
My feast is ready.
Crisped on the grill.
Tasty human loins
To engorge on, to fill.
Oh, but, I'm in need of dessert. what shall it be?
Wait! A meal's not finished
Without an elf which I see!"

With smacking lips,
A belly rub,
"Ahh! That was good!
I accept no sub!"

Written by [Artsieladie] © 2006 Sharon Donnelly

64. Orcs

Savage and beastly, with the desire for flesh
Warriors for blood, best when it's fresh.
They know not pity, only wrath.
Feared by most with never a bath.
Revered as ugly, without a heart,
Of which is their aim with a deadly dart.
Fearless soldiers, endurance immense,
With focus on killing, forthright, intense.
Of twisted minds, forth they plunder.
Slaughter's their goal, all to asunder.

Written by [Artsieladie] © 2006 Sharon Donnelly


This contest is closed!


Go or return to:
- Official Orc Poetry Contest
- Orc Poetry 06, Page 1

Username (or number or email):


2006-06-11 [Stephen]: I '"wrote" my poem with my friend [Draconas Lyrr]. We were both sitting at the computer talking about it as I typed it. Can I put his name next to mine for that entry?

2006-06-11 [Sunrose]: Only if you stop changing your username :P

2006-06-11 [Stephen]: I don't change it that often... :P Alright, thanks. :)

2006-06-11 [Shjahjdahdvwa]: I made some swearing... Hope it's alright

2006-06-11 [RoyDante]: [Shjahjdahdvwa] I absolutely loved that! xD

2006-06-12 [kittykittykitty]: An interesting viewpoint [shadow dust]....

2007-01-09 [Kitakaze]:


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