2005-12-04 [Dhom]: As long as you never meet them... I'm not completely stupid. There are people out there who abuse the idea of talking over the internet.

2005-12-04 [Soul Assassin]: oh it'd be plain stupid to ignore that fact. but there are those that don't

2005-12-04 [Dhom]: I know. not paranoid, just cautious

2005-12-04 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: in my veiw....weither your talking to a rapist or a nasty pervert...as long as you dont give out information like where you live...then its all good...if they are a rapist they arent going to sit and listen to me complain all night

2005-12-04 [Soul Assassin]: hehe no kidding.

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: hey guys i found some good advice "don't look back, don't look forward, look around you"

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: Very true 

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: i thought it applied here pretty well....

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: "Born without a reason to live. So die with a cause." So does this one.

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: even if it is a little morbid.

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: oh yes. but it's better to spite life and society and live for a cause or for a change....

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: What do you think is more important an indivisuals' cause or a global cause?

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: depends. whichever one floats your boat i guess.

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: Tricky… It's hard to pick one over the other. But it can be related to this page. If ending it put a stop (literally) to all my problems how many more would it cause for my family? Grudgingly I accept to some degree that they love me, no matter how little...

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: i know the feeling. and individuals cause can be sacrificed for a greater cause only if the greater cause would benifit more people. in the end no one can choose but you. the choice is yours to either follow your individual calling, or sacrifice for the global, you should let no one make that choice for you.

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: Back to morals...

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: morals play into the decision?

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: Of course they do. They always do... Without faith or hope does not mean without principles

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: i agree. but which principles would apply in a case like this?

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: Pride, mostly... I'm extremely too proud but in away it keeps me alive. And perhaps after effects... I don't want people to suffer or struggle because of me, so that brings me to guilt. Guilty ideas and words I think that stop me from sharing that creates the silent struggle I face. And now we're back to pride.

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: but pride is not a principle its an emotion or a way of life. the same with guilt.

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: The moral, the self rule that I wont fall but live is pride driven. The rule that I wont hurt my family is made through guilt.

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: i see. guilt can be a great....crutch in some cases and a wonderful tool in others.....pride can be used as a helpful tool too, just be wary of it;s double edges blade

2005-12-05 [Dhom]: lol. no need to tell that one. I've figured that out. And the fact that I write here tells you that I've come into contact with that blade...more than once. My problem isn't impulsive or because of one reason. Yes it has triggers but nothing to push me over the edge. Unfortunatly it means it's more rational.... the long, planning type, which is just as dangerous.

2005-12-05 [Soul Assassin]: yes. the rational problems that stem from multiple reasons are some of the worst.

2005-12-25 [Tay.]: can i join?

2005-12-25 [SILENCE HURTS]: yes, of course you can

2005-12-26 [Dhom]: I hate Christmas.

2005-12-26 [SILENCE HURTS]: whys that?

2006-01-06 [Dhom]: I HATE her! I HATE him! I hate them all and I wish they'd just get fucked and stop making me feel.

2006-01-06 [Dhom]: Can't Breathe, Won't breathe

2006-01-06 [Soul Assassin]: hate who?

2006-01-07 [Dhom]: people who are messing with my mind. I hate not being able to control what I think and feel. It's cruel. Isn't it bad enough I have no direction or clue of what I'm doing in life. 

2006-01-07 [Soul Assassin]: i hear you! what kind of messing are they doing?

2006-01-07 [Dhom]: Mostly feelings and things to do with trust. It's kind of like they make you feel so good and safe then take it away.

2006-01-07 [Soul Assassin]: they just like to build you up and rip the carpet out from under you

2006-01-07 [Dhom]: that's a way of discribing it... I just don't like it. It's too much sometimes... too much.

2006-01-07 [Soul Assassin]: so it is

2006-01-09 [Shadow_seraphim]: *sighs* That may be the cruelest form of torture... I wish I could help you... maybe I could, but indirectly... have you read "the child called 'it'"? It's heartbreaking, but the end brings hope... but you may not be emotionally stable enough to read it just yet... I remember when I felt in danger, even in my mind...

2006-01-09 [Dhom]: Thanx for the tip. No matter how "stable" I am, I'm a rational person, so I'm not likely to spontaniously make a bad, unchangable decision.

2006-01-09 [Dhom]: Things just run through your mind over and over. That's what I hate most of all. You cna never change them, only learn not to do it again. But they still replay. Never dull

2006-01-09 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: i know how that feels, not like, something that happened, but my dad died dec. 7th and constantly i have this image of my dad in my head, lying in the coffin, and also an image of him in a dream i had a few days ago, ive come to the conclusion that deep down inside i dont believe hes dead, i know he is, but i just, dont believe it.....sorry i make absolutely no sense

2006-01-09 [Soul Assassin]: yes actually you do. i;ve had the same experience...well same result. different experience

2006-01-09 [Dhom]: On the risk of sounding corny, in a way he still is alive but in memory and the past. In a way he will always influence what you do and never be gone. Whether that be a good thing or a bad one.

2006-01-09 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: yeah but i feel like im crazy, see my dad used to live in his car, and sometimes we would go past places and i would see him or his car, at resturants or at the beach or whatever, now i find myself looking for cars, and getting excited when i see gray cavilears, maybe your right, but i feel like i need to be in a mental hospital

2006-01-09 [Soul Assassin]: doesn't sound corny. nothing can die if you hold it in your heart....or mind, or soul, whatever you believe in. because it's made you what you are today

2006-01-10 [Dhom]: you miss him.

2006-01-11 [Shadow_seraphim]: I felt the same way about my brother when he ex-comunicated my family... I followed a few guys that looked like him for a while... now I just talk to him in my mind... it doesn't dull the pain so much as it makes me feel satisfied that I've gotten out how I feel, at least a little... I feel crazy a lot, especially at night... drifting through strange, but too real dreams... I rarely get any real sleep...

2006-01-11 [Soul Assassin]: i finally gave up on real sleep and just started working my body until it was to tired to do anything but pass out at night

2006-01-11 [Dhom]: I basically operate the same as Soul Assassin.. I stay up and keep occupied until my body can't take it and my brain is too tired to think or feel. It crashes sometimes though..

2006-01-11 [Soul Assassin]: yes it does...and it backfires sometimes....but overall it's the best strategy i've found

2006-01-12 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: holy shit!!!!!!! dreams, i have crazy dreams every night, most of the time concerning my dad, my friends were joking around saying im "in denial" but i dont actually know what that means.

2006-01-12 [Dhom]: it is a way of denial but you can't do anything about it. Sometimes it's better to just deal with it. Talking always helps though. But to someone who listens. Keeping quiet helps no one

2006-01-12 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: my friends normally just laugh it off, not because they dont care, but i think they just dont know what to say. when i told them my deepest secret, they didnt say much, they were just shocked, i dont think they are shocked for this tho, just maybe confused.

2006-01-12 [Dhom]: yeah well, sometimes it's harder to help someone when you care about them. scrap that... It's extremely hard. Talk to someone you know you can trust not to be swayed by feelings. Someone in neutral ground and is level headed. Example? Often the best advice and the most significant talks I have are with strangers or with people who are completely different to me. I'm talking other side of the world people. People who in any other situation would of dogged me or hated me but at those times we shared a single feeling of indifference... when status and stereo no longer mattered and we needed a talk to someone who's not going to lie or cotton up their oppinion. That's why sites and wiki's like...

2006-01-12 [Dhom]: ...are set up... so that you can talk to completely opposite people with the exception that we just need to talk. About anything...

2006-01-12 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: yeah, i guess i have lots of people i can talk to.... its like, i really want it to not be hard for my friends to talk to me, because its like, the people i want to talk to, i cant....aaaaaaanyways....

2006-01-15 [sairas_tytto]: That text made me cry.. whoever wrote it.. good job

2006-01-18 [Shadow_seraphim]: Which text?(curious)

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: hey.. what's up.?

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: what happend...

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: Have you ever heard that saying those who make you cry aren't worth it and those who are worth the tears would never make you cry. Is it a one off rant? Consider that the problem doesn't actually lie with you but with the person. Is it possible that they were having a really shit day?

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: ah... ever think the reason he leaves is because he cares but doesn't know what to do? I'm not saying anything along the lines of he's the victim but it sounds like he can't handle what's going on and the only thing he thinks he can do is get out of it.

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: what is going on..

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: He should but he doesn't... and that's out of your control.

2006-01-22 [Dhom]: Sometimes it's best to just think about the little things rather than the big picture...

2006-01-23 [x.shattered hope.Xx]: maybe you should sit him down for a heart to heart talk.... when hes not upset...

2006-01-23 [Dhom]: Of course it matters... why does he get upset...

2006-01-23 [x0x0x0x0x0]: I don't know you or your boyfriend so just take this for what it's worth. His behaviour is a warning signal of an abusive relationship. The fact that he ignores how you may feel coupled with the fact that when he's down he hurts you to, in a roundabout way, make himself feel better is not at all right. It's normally a power thing. He might feel frustrated or like he has no control so he hurts you to feel like he can control something.If this is the case then the only choice you have is to break up with him once and for all. Even if you love him, he won't let you help him so all you can do is help yourself and get out.

2006-01-23 [Dhom]: I disagree. I don't think he sounds abusive. He sounds upset and confused and frankly, out of his depth. Maybe the best solution is a break but if that is true why would he come back. Maybe he cares and doesn't know what to do or maybe he cares but better as a friend rather than involved. If he blantley makes you upset because he is then I would say the same. That it's time to end it but if the problems arising are mutual....is anything difficult not worth doing?

2006-01-25 [Dead Girl Superstar]: i just wanted to say that this wiki made me think twice about comitting suicide

2006-01-27 [BinaryPhoenix]: Last night I considered suicide. But I thought about all the people I had to "make right with" and call first. Then as I idlely browse through elftown, I found this wiki. And I just want to say: Thank You. Just for making me realize htat someone out there still cares... 

2006-01-27 [Dhom]: Sometimes all we need is to know that no matter how bad you get, there's alway going to be someone out there who is equally or worse off and know what your going through... As cheesy as it sounds someone's always going to care. I don't even know your name and can honestly say that I care what happens.

2006-01-27 [BinaryPhoenix]: I doubt anyone could understand what I'm going through. But it's the thought that someone might care that counts...

2006-01-27 [Dhom]: And I completely agree with that. We'll never know.

2006-01-27 [Dhom]: Can only tell you that your alone in company

2006-01-27 [BinaryPhoenix]: Alone in a crowd/ cold in the middle of summer/ invisible in the spotlight.../ That is who i am...

2006-01-27 [Soul Assassin]: in a sense that's who we are all. we're the facade that no one sees. the scream no one hears...it's strange how that works

2006-01-28 [BinaryPhoenix]: Yes... i know... :'(

2006-01-28 [Soul Assassin]: so how are you tonight?

2006-01-28 [Dhom]: Excuse me but by what do you mean "We're the facade that no one sees"?

2006-01-28 [Soul Assassin]: *shrugs* everyday for me is a lie. i wake up and i become a lie. my first thought isn't mine, it hasn't been for years. i live this girls life...it's so perfect, she's happy, but she's not me. she's the one everyone sees. the friendly outgoing person that everyone likes. but she's not me - i'm invisable...the ghost in a shell that no one knows exists

2006-01-29 [Dhom]: It's like You play the part that's expected of you. Sometimes it's hard to see what your doing is because you want to or because you think that's what you want and more significantly, what "They" want.

2006-01-29 [Dhom]: It reminds me of of something Oscar Wilde said in his book Dorion Grey. "To influence a person, is to give him one's soul. He does not think his natural thoughts or burn with his own natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes someone else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him..."

2006-01-29 [Dhom]: We are shaped and molded by the world. The influence of society and human natures obsession to label sometimes make us what we are not.

2006-01-29 [Dhom]: The only difference between "us" and "them" is that they realise it later or never do. the saying "ignorance is bliss" comes to mind at the momment...

2006-01-29 [Soul Assassin]: exactly....i don't think i've seen anyone put it so well

2006-01-29 [Dhom]: We all think it. Just the matter of saying it..

2006-01-30 [Soul Assassin]: oh yeah...that was a compliment to your writing skills

2006-01-30 [Dhom]: thanks. I try..

2006-01-30 [Soul Assassin]: do you write much?

2006-01-30 [Dhom]: umm...not really but I read. Love to read. I draw and I read. lol. They're good escapes.

2006-01-30 [Soul Assassin]: some of the best

2006-01-30 [SpookShow Babe]: i agree

2006-01-31 [Dhom]: Those and kicking the life out of a soccer ball. lol.

2006-01-31 [Soul Assassin]: hehe well i just kick the hell out of my body....running biking...just anything to get me to sleep without thinking

2006-01-31 [Dhom]: Nah I need some aggressive sport..lol. I'm one of those people who is the one to talk to when you have a problem. Not because I'm the best person but because I wont lie or cudle the truth. lol. So basically Therapist for my friends.. Anyway... With being the problem solver 24/7 I feel the need to kick the hell out of something sometimes. lol. It's both the best and worst feeling in the world. Total exuastion and complete loss of control. It's kind of like you don't have to look at the big picture...You just need to kick the ball in the opposite direction. All you can control is those split seconds before you kick it. You don't have to worry about what's going to happen after that...

2006-01-31 [Dhom]: It makes everything so clear and you just stop thinking and caring whats going to happen.

2006-02-01 [Soul Assassin]: hehe i go out and bike...the nastiest trails i can find...or go out on the road and cuss out drivers who try and run you down....usually i go pick a fight when i need that kind of release though. i hear you about the whole 24 - 7 problem solver! sometimes it's just too much....

2006-02-01 [Dhom]: Yeah I can't really pick "physical" fights. I'm a tall person and most are shorter than me. It's kind of a moral thing (aka They'ed have to start it). lol. But I wouldn't turn down a nice battle of the wits though...lol

2006-02-01 [Soul Assassin]: hehe those rock. i'm a chick but when you make guys mad enough they seem to forget that...i'm not usually that desperate though

2006-02-01 [Dhom]: haha... don't worry, I get it. kind of like, you wanna see how far you can push them....I do that when I'm bored or feeling a little distruptive. lol

2006-02-01 [Soul Assassin]: yup. totally. it's so.....*grins hugely* shall we say...rewarding

2006-02-01 [Dhom]: lol. I'm interested in the reaction. I can't help it. I just find it funny and entertaining. Definitly rewarding...

2006-02-01 [Soul Assassin]: yes reactions....they tell so much about a person

2006-02-01 [BinaryPhoenix]: I don't do the whole 24/7 thing anymore. It's kind of difficult with a huge knife sticking in your back because of the person you only helped...

2006-02-01 [Dhom]: Yeah.... I know what you mean but still... I really can't help it..

2006-02-02 [Soul Assassin]: same here...it's just subconcious. someone needs something..and i'm there. always. no matter how many times it comes around to kickme.

2006-02-02 [Dhom]: yep. That's basically what I do. Even when you know it's going to end bad and cause you lots of grief. It's like balancing the world on your shoulders. You don't want anyone to be unhappy and you don't want to let them down. I hate the idea of failure, especially when it involves another falling too, and so I grin. I bear it. And I let it all come crashing down on me when I'm on my own.

2006-02-02 [Soul Assassin]: omg i found a kindred spirit!!!!!!!!! its when your alone taht it's the worst

2006-02-02 [Dhom]: Ah...But would you rather be alone or with people who wouldn't get it or care for that matter? Both are in bad company...

2006-02-02 [BinaryPhoenix]: I'd rather be alone then...

2006-02-02 [Soul Assassin]: hehe rather alone...i hate people that think they understand and don't. i'd rather they just don't care

2006-02-03 [SpookShow Babe]: i just hang out with my horse, hes the only one that listenins with out telling me that i should just get over it. i

2006-02-03 [Soul Assassin]: id borrow my friends horse...but i'm lazy and don't want to walk up the hill

2006-02-03 [SpookShow Babe]: **laughs**

2006-02-05 [BinaryPhoenix]: ~ at least you have access to a horse, wish I did... I love horses! For now, I just talk to my baby snake....

2006-02-06 [Dhom]: ok... I have a dog. His name is Barney..Normal, in no way speacial mutt. And I love him to death... He's kind of considered the third child in our family

2006-02-06 [Soul Assassin]: we;ve got a dog and an insane cat....who threw up in my room before i left. at least she missed the clothes i was packing -.-

2006-02-09 [SpookShow Babe]: horses are wayyyy to much work though\

2006-02-09 [Dhom]: where were you going?

2006-02-09 [SpookShow Babe]: what?

2006-02-09 [Soul Assassin]: where is who going? oooo me? that would be fairbanks for qualifying races. and i made arctic winter games...

2006-02-09 [Dhom]: Well done... explain to me what that is?

2006-02-09 [Soul Assassin]: heehee basically a group of northern countries...(alaska <yes i know we're not a country>, russia, greenland canada, and a compilled team from finland/norway/sweden) got together and set up the races. they were originally created as a people to people type thing. peace begins with the people kinda deal. so by making friends/building relationships between the young athletes of the countries we could promote peace or somehting idk. but it started in like 1970 and just kinda kept goin. so every 2 years they have these huge set of compititions.mushing, snowshoeing, skiing, biathalon, gymnastics, curling, alpine, skating, etcetcetc......apperently it was supported and endorsed by every president

2006-02-09 [Soul Assassin]: since it started. so yeap. each country sends it's teams and we all race an make friends an go to a dance and get lots of cool stuff. and trade ^.^ thats the fun part...trading AK stuff for other peoples cool foreign gear

2006-02-09 [Dhom]: lol. It sounds great. You must be hell good to get into the team then.

2006-02-10 [SpookShow Babe]: What are you competeing in?

2006-02-10 [Soul Assassin]: nordic skiing....i was like twelve points out of going to junior nationals...so yeah...i'm not bad :P

2006-02-19 [*Its All About You*]: Hello people^.*

2006-02-20 [Soul Assassin]: hello, how are you?

2006-02-20 [SpookShow Babe]: Hello, I am ok yourself?

2006-02-20 [Soul Assassin]: hehe doin really well actually minus the shitty weather....the roads are complete sheet ice with water on top and it's forty F it's so wrong

2006-02-20 [SpookShow Babe]: wow that is weird lol

2006-02-20 [Soul Assassin]: yeah it's feb...it shouldn't be like this...but with the whole global warming stuff it hasn't been "normal" in like five or six years at least....so i guess we should be used to it by now

2006-02-20 [SpookShow Babe]: true true, did you just watch the 60 minutes show ?

2006-02-20 [SpookShow Babe]: ummm... I was wondering if you could help me with a friend problem i have

2006-02-20 [Soul Assassin]: yes i can....mmmm well let be rephrase that...yes i'll try

2006-02-20 [SpookShow Babe]: well one of my friends smokes, just ciggarates, and they really want to stop but they can t and i was wondering if there was anything i could do to help and support her

2006-02-21 [Soul Assassin]: mmm i can't say that i have any experience with that. other then recomending they talk to someone (a councilor or doctor or someone with experience there) I dunno that there’s much you can do. other then be positive for the progressive steps and attempt to encourage her away from the negative ones....if she doesn't want to go to one of the mentioned avenues for help alone, you could always go with her.

2006-02-21 [BinaryPhoenix]: What also helps to quit smoking, is to keep your friends mind of it. Keep your friend busy with other things... Maybe go to places where people aren't allowed to smoke, etc...

2006-02-21 [x0x0x0x0x0]: Also it helps to be really verbally supportive. Like if they haven't had a smoke for a couple hours, a day, whatever, let them know you're really happy and proud of them for going as long as they did. The problem with smoking is that even though everyone knows it's bad for you in the long run for a smoker it's REALLY enjoyable in the short term. So when you try to quit it's hard to remember that you're actually gaining something instead of losing a happy activity. Something that worked for my boyfriend was slowly cutting down. For the first week he let himself have a smoke every 3 hours, the next week every 5 hours and so on until he only had one ciggarette in the morning.

2006-02-21 [x0x0x0x0x0]: That way he didn't have to deal with the psychologcal addiction while he was dealing with the physical addiction because he knew he could still smoke.

2006-02-21 [SpookShow Babe]: Thank you very much.

2006-02-25 [sweetkiss]: smoking is a bad adiction.

2006-02-25 [Soul Assassin]: i was talking to a friend that quit. she said one of her stratagies was every time she wanted one to stop count to ten. if she still couldn't control it she'd call a designated friend. i dunno how well that works...but it's an idea

2006-02-25 [sweetkiss]: lol

2006-02-28 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: I am loving this wiki.

2006-03-01 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: k so.. i need help.. i dont know why but i havent been happy for months now...and i cant figure out why. its just like.. life has no meaning for me anymore . im just living day to day the same thing, feeling pain that i cant control, i try to push it out of mind, but i have no idea why im so upset. help?

2006-03-01 [Soul Assassin]: mmm i go through the same type of thing. first thing i'd ask is: have you considered "clinical depression" as a cause? i just deal with mine, it isn't pretty but it works and i don't try and figure out why anymore. life still has no meaning but i conciously give it purpose through skiing and that helps.

2006-03-01 [x0x0x0x0x0]: You should never self-diagnose. There are alot of other symptoms to depression that can be symptoms of other physical problems too. If you have any of the symptoms besides feeling down then you should go to a doctor for a full physical, otherwise you could be getting worse while you're trying to treat something you don't have. Also, it could be something psychological other than depression. If it just started a few months ago have you considered Seasonal Affective Disorder? That's very easy to fix. It might also be a stress or anxiety problem. "im just living day to day the same thing" if you feel like you're in a rut that can be really stressful. 

2006-03-01 [Soul Assassin]: yeap. if your comfortable with it i'd go see a doctor...even if you arnt' actually. self treating can be a sketchy road to follow

2006-03-02 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: thanks..people keep telling me to see a counselor..but i dont want them to think i'm suicidal (though i may be) because i DO NOT want to end up in a psych ward in a hospital. and if i let my parents know i talked to a couselor then theyd be angry, becuase i didnt come to them. but i cant go to them because i cant talk to them seriously without crying. thanks so much for your advice, i really appreciate it, i just dont know what im giong to do yet.

2006-03-02 [mgnJYC]: Please take this, it's important...<poll:67828>

2006-03-02 [Soul Assassin]: yeah i feel the same way often. but i find that talking really helps and if you do go to a councilor unless they think your depressed you wouldnt' necessarily have to inform your parents of the visit...ooooo hey your an ak girl!!!! sweetness. yeah i notice it gets worse some winters when it's dark more often...getting outside when it;s light out helps a LOT. but perhaps a school councilor or if your religious a church one could help

2006-03-02 [Dhom]: I agree with Soul... talking helps. I get upset and just down for no reason at weeks at a time. My dad's a councilor so I would never feel comfortable with going to one. It's like seeing the other side of the spectrum so I know kind of how they work which defeats the purpose. The idea of someone actually putting a name to what I go through doesn't really appeal. It seems almost too easy. Take a pill and it'll all be better... For me and my problem, I don't think it should work that way.. A quick fix isn't what I want. A dependance on medication to make me happy. I'd rather deal with it or try and work it out on my own or with people who go through the same thing.

2006-03-02 [Soul Assassin]: no kidding. i've never gone because i refuse to admit i have a problem. i figure i've delt with it this long i can deal with the rest of it. i also know how they work so i don't think it would help much....one never knows till they try it i guess.

2006-03-02 [Dhom]: It's not that I don't believe that they can help it's just that I know what they'll think. The activities they do or the questions they ask that tell me how serious they think it is. I'm not suposed to read their actions, just talk to them.

2006-03-02 [Soul Assassin]: yeap. i don't talk to strangers.....i'm not comfortable sharing stuff that i need help with to a stranger...so i become someone else which is really pointless and unhelpful in a situation like that

2006-03-02 [Dhom]: I can talk to strangers. As long as I don't see them and or hear them. lol. And that's exactly why I'm more inclined to find other means. I get distracted either on purpose or because it's my nature. I find myself reading the person. What they think, why they act the what they do. It's fascinating for me but not really helpful. That's probably my major problem... I read into too much. A great believer in the underling issue and thoughts. So when I'm upset for no apparent reason, I keep thinking that it's a reason for something.

2006-03-02 [Soul Assassin]: i agree. reading people is fun though. learning them through their mannerisms and questions. distractions can be good in some cases

2006-03-02 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: I think its easier to talk to strangers, becuase they dont know you as well, and they wont judge you as much as people who know you, and you wont run the risk of losing them. I'm starting to regret telling some people about this, because theyr trying to force me into talking to someone by saying that if i dont tell someone, they will. I told them that's making me feel worse, that i dont need threats like that, but theyr not listening. Argh. I know what you mean by reading into people. fun, but i tend to overanalyze people and situations anyway. ^.^

2006-03-03 [Soul Assassin]: samesame. sometimes friends can be less of a help and more of a pain

2006-03-03 [Dead Girl Superstar]: I would have to agree with that completely.

2006-03-03 [Dhom]: Yeah but I can understand their reasons... I'd probably do something similar too. It's so hard sitting on the side lines and not being able to help. As the friend, you either feel you've failed because your not doing anything or you've failed as a friend because they push you away when your trying to help. I'd never be able to live with the fact that I never told if something bad happend...

2006-03-03 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: haha Dead Girl, you know what i mean, i opened up to you immediately tho i barely knew you chipmunk

2006-03-04 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: I'm glad i decided to come to you all for advice

2006-03-05 [sweetkiss]: it is a great place here.

2006-03-06 [Soul Assassin]: yup so tis

2006-03-07 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: How's skiing going soul?

2006-03-07 [Soul Assassin]: hehehehehe its kickin. i was sixth yesterday in the classic 7k. woke up this morning and couldnt hold any food down....so i skratched today. was 750m freestyle sprints in 3 rounds....woulda been hella fun. i was so psyched. went out to warm up but it wasn't gonna happen. wed is off an thursday is the skate 7k friday we ski relays so guess we;ll see. i spent today sitting around and sleeping and i'm feeling pretty good so hopefully it's just some weird food thing or something like that

2006-03-08 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: hope you feel better!

2006-03-08 [SpookShow Babe]: good luck

2006-03-08 [Soul Assassin]: heheh yup long race tomorrow. i'm excited they finally put in some real hills not these whimpy 10 second climbs....it'll be FUN. :D

2006-03-09 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: good luck!

2006-03-11 [Dead Girl Superstar]: im soooo happy im finally seeing a consular

2006-03-11 [Dhom]: Good for you. How'd it go?

2006-03-11 [Dhom]: If you just realised that a friend of yours, who you've put so much time and effort in was a complete fake what would you do? How do you break away from someone who you care for, even when they cause you so much pain?

2006-03-11 [Dead Girl Superstar]: it was really helpful and one of my "friends" was a complete fake. It was really hard to realize that she didnt care about me at all. I jut kept going and tried to find a new group of friends that were more true. I still look at pictures though

2006-03-11 [Dhom]: Oh that's good. Did you decide to go on your own?

2006-03-11 [Dead Girl Superstar]: yea i really needed it

2006-03-11 [Dhom]: I have nothing but happiness and respect for you. It'd take me a lot to do that or even admit I might need to see someone. 

2006-03-11 [Dead Girl Superstar]: Thank you. I having been struggling for a long time and just decided i should do something about it

2006-03-11 [Dhom]: fair enough and probably a good move there. Have you been to a session yet?

2006-03-12 [Dead Girl Superstar]: yuppers

2006-03-12 [Dhom]: lol. Hope it all works out.

2006-03-12 [Dead Girl Superstar]: thnx

2006-03-12 [Soul Assassin]: that's awesome. i'm glad you had the courage to go !

2006-03-12 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: good for you chipmunk!!

2006-03-20 [Dhom]: I know this is prob gonna be hard but you really can't say much. He'll take it as if you don't trust him if you say something..

2006-03-21 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: Thanks

2006-03-21 [Dhom]: no prob. just... if your really worried, just keep saying things like "I love you" and such to remind him how much he means to you. It would kind of give him reasurance that you trust him and that he doesn't want to do anything that would hurt you..

2006-03-27 [Soul Assassin]: ...... mmm...this may be a little late but that's a fun one. not really an easy answer to it either. you can talk it through with him but he;s going to be uptight and somewhat offensive no matter how you approached it...

2006-03-31 [I'm Bringing Glamour Back.]: yeah..thats the problem... and dont worry..never too late for advice

2006-03-31 [Soul Assassin]: well....in some cases it can be....

2006-03-31 [Dhom]: I had a massive fight with my mum the other day... We were both yelling but I'm not completely certain it was at each other..

2006-03-31 [Soul Assassin]: those aren't very pleasant...though i've had a few of those lately too

2006-04-03 [BinaryPhoenix]: Altough I haven't had a fight with my mom for years, I recently began to have nightmares about it again. It stresses and freaks me out more than the actual fights did.

2006-04-11 [immortal daydreams.]: i flipped out last night...got really upset and made some really stupid decisions....

2006-04-12 [BinaryPhoenix]: what happened?