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Page name: John [Logged in view] [RSS]
2005-05-10 20:20:20
Last author: -chitch-
Owner: jobby
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<img:img/photo/42128_1106504774.jpg>
(don't put this on your house)


Welcome to the John McCririck Wiki Page.


BOO HIM, BOO HIM


[-chitch-] made this.


<img:img/drawing/98253_1106906785.jpg>
(don't put this on your house)
He is a character that you either love or hate. Most people tend to hate the fat hairy twat. Others may adore him for his ability of telling it "how it is".


This Wiki is here for you to discuss the oaf, and a place for one and all to come together and chill out.


Johns sexist comment of the week:


Why is a laundrett a really bad place to pick up women?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.


<img:http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38270000/jpg/_38270158_john300.jpg>
(don't put this on your house)

HOW DARE YOU



Name: John McCririck
Age: Wont say
Sign: Wont say
Lives: Lake District


Simon Says...

Celebrity big brother UK. First year, the money went to Comic Relief. Second year, to charity. Third year? The money went to Bez out of the Happy Mondays.

Progress, my friends. And the nice thing is, you know he'll spend that £50,000 wisely, squirreling it away in offshore accounts, pension plans. That sort of thing.

Bez's victory. The right decision. But nothing could disguise the fact that (apart from Jackie Stallone's epic appearance) CBB3 had only one real star.

John McCririck. More rebellious than Bez. Less unpleasent than Lisa L'Anson. Converted more people to feminism than Germaine Greer. And has more realistic tits than Caprice.

He delivered and delivered and delivered.

Though even his re-appearance couldn't save a dismal final week, made all the more painful by TV's Mrs Shouty Woman.

Davina. Who continued to lie about the closeness of votes. Spent the entire contest dressed as Guy Ritchie's gamekeeper. And could'nt even get an answer to the week's key question.

"What is the strangest place Caprice has ever had sex?"

Though I gather the answer would be either:

a) In a stable relationship. Or...
b) Not in a millionaire's bed.

You see, John was the reason why people watched Big Brother, and therefore the reason why this WIKI exists. All hail John, not just a sexist twat.

John on Big Brother



What do you think you'll find is the hardest thing about being in the Celebrity Big Brother house?
Boredom and the egos of the others trying to win. I'm not frightened of Big Brother - well not yet anyway!

What will you miss most?
Booby (my wife), my cats and dogs and the news.

What will you be glad to get away from?
Nothing.

How long do you think you'll last in the house?
24 hours - I want to be the fastest voted off evictee. If it was a horserace they'd say "he's not trying". I'm going in there knowing I'm not going to win and not trying to win.

What do your family and friends think about you being in Celebrity Big Brother?
I've got no friends. I've only got Booby.

Can you cook and what's your signature dish?
I can't cook. My father never went in the kitchen and neither do I.

Why do you think you'll make a good housemate?
I won't. I don't have a career to enhance. I'm a failed bookie, a failed punter and a failed journalist.

Who would be your ideal Big Brother housemate?
Kate Winslet.

Who would be your nightmare Big Brother housemate?
Flat-chested, bossy women. Someone like Germaine Greer or Christine Hamilton.

Name three things you will be taking into the Big Brother house
Cigars, loose-leaf tea and a soft pillow.

IM NOT GOING TO TALK UNTIL I GET MY DIET COKES



MEMBERS OF THE JOHN WIKI:

To join, just say wether you love or hate him, and give a reason


[jobby] - Love the fat bastard - hes outrageous and comes out with the funniest things.
[-chitch-] - Thinks he's tant as. Big Bro was tant with him in it.

[mannaz] - hate him! he picks his nose and eats his snot! MINGIN

[LAURALOVE.] john is the best, i love him!

[kirst] he is mingin and shud neva be seen with his top off

[Sunrose] Our resident gaurd and dear John lover

[xXxsxy_rachxXx]u gota love john!!!!lol hes hilarious!

[Orgasmo] Any guy that makes so much fuss over diet coke gets love from me! and when i see him i Will slap him!

[.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.] He is horrible! yuk!

Now use this bottom section to discuss -->

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2005-02-02 [jobby]: lol what a lad

2005-02-02 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: lol yes ive heard about them 2... every1's seen them lisa so dont deny it hehe

2005-02-02 [jobby]: lol

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: KNOWS IT!!

2005-02-03 [jobby]: thats rite, you knows what im sayin, your mothers offered me the goods, im not paying ect

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: It started as a laugh. Just a bit of a joke. something funny to say while I was having a smoke.

2005-02-03 [jobby]: theres fuckin rumour goin round, your mothers reputation, its not sound

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: she's savin up her pennies hoping they turn into punds. To have an operation to swap her gender round!

2005-02-03 [jobby]: its a shock to me and its a shock to you, your mothers gotta penis and a ball bag too

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: it don't look right see, when she's walking down the street to see her ball bag jiggle to the beat of her feet (thats Right) Your mother's got a penis!

2005-02-03 [jobby]: some times its drippin sometimes its dry, i kind am a bit patchy from there

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: no matter when I see her there's a tear in my eye. I thought i had to tell you had to put it in a letter but I thought fuck that I'll write a song it'll be better!

2005-02-03 [jobby]: theres only one way, i had to let you know, i know its true, cus i gave it a blow (or sumthin)

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: I AM THE ONE AND ONLY! NO BODY I'D RATHER BE! I AM THE ONE AND ONLY! CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!

2005-02-03 [Sunrose]: @.@

2005-02-03 [jobby]: hey sunrose, how are you this lovely eve

2005-02-03 [Sunrose]: It's morning here ;)

2005-02-03 [jobby]: it is here as well lol i dont know why i sed that

2005-02-03 [Sunrose]: LOL! :P

2005-02-03 [jobby]: heh, ur only like one hour ahead of us man

2005-02-03 [Sunrose]: So? :P

2005-02-03 [jobby]: were better than you, obviously ^_^ hehe

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: heya jobby!!u gt ur pop tarts this mornin??lmao!!!!

2005-02-03 [jobby]: i certainly did lol cant go without pop tarts man, seriously

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: heya!!

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer i no pop tarts r lush!lol btw wot was in ya bag thing??lmao!!!u looked like santa!lmao lol

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: oh nd hiya zoe

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: heya rach how u doin?

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: yer im doin gud wot about u??wot lesson u in?

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: im meana be in pe but i dont do it lol im ok thanxies

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: oh ryt lol y dontcha do p.e???u ill or summit??lol

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: erm u cud say that lol its coza ma eye

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: oh ryt i c!lol wots up wiv ya eye then??i used 2 h8 p.e in the winter lol but summer was ok lol

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: YOU KNOWS IT CLART!

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: lol i had an eye op last year so i cant do it n stuff incase i get hit etc... its horrible

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: oh ryt i getcha!oh well atleast u get a lesson free.so wot do u do instead??jus go sit in the library or summit?

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: library yeah lol

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol god how borin!lol i finished skwl @ half 11 but had 2 stay in till lunch lol then went home @ the end of lunch and now iv got borin c/w 2 do!!!!

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: ah ritey lol i g2g bye xx

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: Rach. SHUT UP! {SHAKES HANDS} YOU'RE VERY INTELIGENT!!!

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol ok then ttyl xxx and no i wont shutup!!!!

2005-02-03 [-chitch-]: hahahaha!!! great fun teasing her. HAHAHAHHAHAHA!

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer.........such fun!

2005-02-03 [..beautiful disaster..]: boh!

2005-02-03 [LAURALOVE.]: thats the way the cookie crumbles!

2005-02-03 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: zoe!! where were u in pe?! are u neva goin 2 do it again?

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: no im not!!!!

2005-02-03 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: :O isnt ur eye better now though?

2005-02-03 [X. Nightmare]: yeah a lil, but im still not allowed to do pe gota go bk to hospital

2005-02-03 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: oh...well ur hardly goin 2 damage ur eye in pe...unless ur really clumsy

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: like me lol

2005-02-03 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: yes rachel like u

2005-02-03 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol

2005-02-04 [-chitch-]: Alright brother! Divvint talk to me about the past!

2005-02-04 [jobby]: who are you impersanating today, chitch? lol

2005-02-04 [-chitch-]: Gav

2005-02-04 [jobby]: whos tht

2005-02-04 [jobby]: whos that

2005-02-04 [-chitch-]: Gav fromTailors!

2005-02-04 [jobby]: lol im still non the wiser

2005-02-04 [-chitch-]: Gavin. From Tailors! The guy who used to own the Lotus!

2005-02-04 [jobby]: nope lol whos tailors?

2005-02-04 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: lol i dont have a clue

2005-02-04 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: me neitha!

2005-02-04 [X. Nightmare]: yeah i cud coz i cud b hit kt!!! u dont understand wots wrong with it lol

2005-02-04 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: wot? lol

2005-02-05 [LAURALOVE.]: gavs the boy

2005-02-07 [-chitch-]: Tailors is the Newsagents next to the drop in. Gav is the king who works there!

2005-02-07 [mannaz]: aye hes a druggie

2005-02-07 [jobby]: ah rite, it all makes sense now. still dont know the lad

2005-02-07 [mannaz]: HES a druggie! lol

2005-02-07 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: yes...

2005-02-07 [jobby]: oh yes, that makes it clear now lol theres lots of druggies in Alnwick!!

2005-02-07 [-chitch-]: Alnwick is just one big drug culture!

2005-02-07 [jobby]: tis

2005-02-09 [-chitch-]: look at this town and say that the bloke in the corner isn't on pills!

2005-02-09 [LAURALOVE.]: that is very true!

2005-02-10 [-chitch-]: IT'S A RIGHT BASTARD INNIT!

2005-03-04 [Orgasmo]: see, i got quite the opposite impression of Alnwick, there are so many people on there from there, so i got the feeling that it was a place full of snobs :| seeing how druggie wouldnt spend most of thier day on ET unless they were stoned

2005-03-04 [jobby]: yeah well, thats life

2005-03-04 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha chitch is in here 2...did u no he was oppisite 2 a person?..ok ill shut up now

2005-03-07 [-chitch-]: it's not full of snobs. look at me. But i wont talk to you if you do. My silver spoon is missing. OMFG!

2005-03-07 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: oh lord! well find it

2005-03-07 [jobby]: ifyufyi

2005-03-07 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: uh huh!

2005-03-07 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: uh hu 2!

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol cheerz kt:P

2005-03-08 [LAURALOVE.]: i think im in love

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: wow

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol who with???

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: ok.............

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha

2005-03-08 [.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]: hahaha

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: hahahahaha

2005-03-08 [.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]: hahahahahahahaha

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: ok.......

2005-03-08 [.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]: yer shes behind u

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: i no

2005-03-08 [jobby]: woowoowoow

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: ooooOOOoooo

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol

2005-03-08 [-chitch-]: MY SPOON! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha poor spoon

2005-03-08 [-chitch-]: BUT IT'S SOLID SILVER!

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: wow!!! so? lol

2005-03-08 [-chitch-]: I WAS BORN WITH IT IN MY MOUTH!

2005-03-08 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: ook well uve lost it now so live with it

2005-03-08 [-chitch-]: NEVER!

2005-03-08 [.:.Close. the. god. damn. door.:.]: wel aparantly i was born wif a roadmap according to stevo!

2005-03-08 [X. Nightmare]: oki lol

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol wots a road map:S lol

2005-03-08 [-chitch-]: a map with roads on it

2005-03-08 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: haha reeli??am not tht silly but the 1 sam was on about tht she was born wiv lol

2005-03-09 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha i dont no

2005-03-09 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol neitha do i!!! neva even hed of tht lol

2005-03-09 [-chitch-]: BOO HIM!

2005-03-09 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: whos him???

2005-03-09 [-chitch-]: BOO HIM!!!!!

2005-03-09 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: ok then u do tht!

2005-03-09 [-chitch-]: BOO HIM!!!

2005-03-09 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: yeh yeh boo HIM

2005-03-09 [-chitch-]: BOO HIM!!!

2005-03-09 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: ok

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: BOOOOOO HIM!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: ok...........shut up wiv ya boo him lol

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: FUCK OFF RACHEAL. BOO HIM! BOO HIM!!

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: haha u speltmy name rong...idiot!

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: BOTHERED!! JUST FUCK OFF! BOO HIM!! BOO HIM!!!

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: you spelt "WRONG" Wrong

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol dusnt botha me!lol

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: Cos your a tool

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: hahaha ok lol

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: FUCK OFF!

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: U

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]:

AAAAAAAAARIGHT

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol

2005-03-16 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: oooook no need 2 argue ppl

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol he started it lol

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: Racheal. You can just fuck off under a car wheel and die. You started it.

2005-03-16 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: god thats not very nice!!!

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: SHE DESERVES IT!!

2005-03-16 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol i cudnt careless!!! and u started it!

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: You started it you evil evil person you!

2005-03-16 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: i hope u's arent bein serious? u sound like bro and sister lol

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: we aint related

2005-03-16 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: hehe well u sound it

2005-03-16 [-chitch-]: Proper married couple man....

2005-03-17 [jobby]: dont be so nasty chitch man, stop lol

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol haha proper married cuple!!! lol its ok jobby we sorted it lol

2005-03-17 [-chitch-]: I'M NOT NASTY!

2005-03-17 [jobby]: i know that, i know that

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol did n e 1 say u were?lol

2005-03-17 [jobby]: lol

2005-03-17 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: hehe erm...yes simon did lol

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: haha well u no wot im like man lol

2005-03-17 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha no wot r u like?

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol coz simon sed he was nasty and i 4gt lol bad memry.....thts wot im like lol

2005-03-17 [-chitch-]: GHETTO MUSICK!

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: woooooo lol

2005-03-17 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: wow..well u dont need a memory! u just need 2 read above

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer i no but i 4gt wot he sed lol so i 4gt tht it was there so i didnt read above lol

2005-03-17 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha oooook

2005-03-17 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer

2005-03-17 [-chitch-]: Why don't we talk about John now??

2005-03-17 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha well u start

2005-03-18 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: hehe yer soo...........john...wots 2 say about him?lol

2005-03-18 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha i dont no..i dont even no anythin about him lol

2005-03-18 [jobby]: did u know john is the sponcer of bogies ltd

2005-03-19 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lmao!! is he reeli?lol haha

2005-03-19 [jobby]: yeah, only on weekends tho

2005-03-19 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: awesome

2005-03-19 [jobby]: damn rite katie, damn rie

2005-03-19 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol kwl!!! sounds like a hole load of fun!lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha rachel how many times do u have 2 laugh when u write?!?!

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol i dont no i laff lots of times lol haha

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha oook well i laugh but i dont go over board writin it down like u do

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol haha well i cant help it jus do it wiv out noticin sumtimes coz i do it 2 much lol werent we suppost 2 b talkin bout jonh?lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha yes we were..well do u no anythin about him? i dont have a clue..wasnt he that grumpy guy that always moaned?

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol well done kt yes he was did u not watch bb??lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha yeah a little..well i know who he is now lol, i got abit confused..so anythin else u now=?

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: haha nope!!!! cant rememba read the thing about him at the top lol tht myt work

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha i cant be bothered..well i no he's a guy that moans alot

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer lets jus leave it at tht im sure jobby can fill us in wen he comes on lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha like always..god he no's everythin doesnt he? but hes never on anymore..

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: i no!! where dus he get 2 these dayz!?lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: i dont no..he neva talks 2 me anymore:(

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: awwwwww thts nto nice id get him telt lol

2005-03-20 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha no its ok he's always 2 'busy' 2 talk 2 me so ill have 2 live with it lol..haha ive found out that john is sexist!!

2005-03-20 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol hahaha wen did u find tht out?

2005-03-21 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: it says at the top

2005-03-21 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol so u did do wot i sed hehe

2005-03-21 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha no its just obvious

2005-03-21 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol yer i no but u jus sed u looked at the top lol

2005-03-21 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha well it zoomed 2 the top by itself so i couldnt really help it

2005-03-21 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: lol hahaha how does it zoom by itself??lol and it jus so happened 2 land on tht bit of info:P

2005-03-22 [KATIE.COMPLEASE]: haha well when u write a comment does it not zoom 2 the top? coz it does 2 me

2005-05-10 [-chitch-]: BOO HIM!!!!

2005-05-10 [xXxsxy_rachxXx]: agen?lol

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