Order of the Ersatz christians

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2007-02-23 01:08:50

Last author: Nazarath.93
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Order of the Ersatz Christians
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Welcome to the ORDER OF THE ERSATZ CHRISTIANS!

We are the people who follow christianity exactly as God says so, because we will throw our lives away just to die and find out God doesnt exsist! Yay!
Ok seriously, as the "minister" of this order i am actually making fun of Christianity, and all the absurd, impossible to follow jargon that streams endlessly from their mouths.

The word "Ersatz" means "fake" or "false" we arent really christians (obviously) and we are trying to make fun of it, by listing all the absurd rules that God talks about.

What do we do here?

We are people who dont like the rules, whatever belief we are atheist, Gnostic, satanist whatever..., that god has placed upon what we call Christianity. Read if we all listened to god... if you want as it is the start of this whole order I started.
But what we do here is simply laugh at all the crap christians (mostly conservative, or as i call them 'Neo-Puritans) have devoted their lives to. Because everything on the list ,that you will most likely read, has been adhered to by someone around the world.
From any standpoint they are all just flat out stupid! Makes me wonder if people really listen to themselves. But here we set up a challenge, as well as get some laughs, our challenge is this:

Why should we follow any one rule on that list, if we dont truly want to?

I want real christians (devout or otherwise) to debate here with me and the members (if they want) but you have one rule:
If your only answer to any question is "Because God says so," Provide why we should listen to him using actual proof!

Well onto the matter of debasing Christianity!

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THE ORDER!
Minister: [Nazarath.93]
Priests and Followers:
1.[Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]
2.[Erishkigal]
3.[de Morte]
4.[radioactive candycane]

Ask if you want to be added and tell me Why you want to
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Now here is the rules you must "follow" (haha) to be an Ersatz Christian!

rules of the ersatz christian

[#]
Links: If we all listened to god...

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2007-03-07 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: we as priest get the rest of the money we dont go to chairity, but its ok, god will forgive us.

2007-03-07 [de Morte]: *disintegrate*

2007-03-07 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: you need to give more chairity or god won't forgive you!

2007-03-07 [de Morte]: *hordes my money for some accessories...and boots, many many boots!!!*

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: YOU WILL GO TO HELL!!!

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: I'll hold a BIG PARTY there!!!

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: YOU'LL BE TORCHERD!!!

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: With loud death&black metal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: if you haven't been baptised you'll go to hell, and you must pay for your, or your childs baptism!

2007-03-09 [Nazarath.93]: or evil satanists will sacrafice you!!!!! now pay us $100 so we can dunk you in some water and say some jargon ^^ if not evil people possesed by demons will sense that you havent been half drowned in "holy" water and sacrafice you!!! oh and the 100 dollars goes to charity ^^ not to the priests own personal corrupt pleasure ^^ thats just nonsense ^^

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: I was :'(

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: well, give $100 to charity anyway!.. we priests won't take advantage of the opprotunity to take it for owerselfs at all!

2007-03-09 [Nazarath.93]: NO! you have to PAY US!!! then give $100 extra to charity!

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: where we won't take any from the charity...

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: O.o were YOU baptized???

2007-03-09 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: probly...

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: poor poor us...

2007-03-09 [Nazarath.93]: XD hahaha I havent been baptized! :P my mom wants me to be though...im telling her no!

2007-03-09 [de Morte]: O.O *backs away*

2007-03-10 [Neferoth, the lethargic stigmata]: evil mom

2007-03-10 [de Morte]: :p

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