Fill this out then send it to me plz!
WOULD YOU...
[_] give me your number? (_ _ _) _ _ _- _ _ _ _
[_] kiss me?
[_] let me kiss you?
[_] want to get in my pants?
[_] watch a movie with me?
[_] take me out to dinner?
[_] let me drive you somewhere
[_] cut some rug with me?
[_] take a shower with me?
[_] have sex with me?
[_] have a fling with me?
[_] let me buy you a drink?
[_] buy me a drink?
[_] take me home for the night?
[_] let me sleep in your bed?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] give me a piggyback ride?
[_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere
[_] Lock me in your room and take advantage of me?
[_] lick my cheek?
[_] dance with me?
[_] let me make you breakfast?
[_] help me with homework?
[_] tickle me to death?
[_] let me tickle you?
[_] stick up for me if i was being put down?
[_] play strip poker with me?
[_] get wasted with me?
[_] instant message me?
[_] greet me in public?
[_] hang out with me?
[_] bring me around your friends?

This is sooo insulting. read it;

Just when you thought the Religious Reich couldn't get any stupider... (my
comments in [ ] )

Is Your Child a Goth?
Presented by St. Mary's Church

Listed below are some warning signs to indicate if your child may have gone
astray from the Lord. Gothic (or Goth) is a very obscure and often dangerous
culture that young teenagers are prone to participating in. The gothic culture
leads young, susceptible minds into an imagined world of evil, darkness, and
violence. Please seek immediate attention through counselling, prayer, and
parental guidance to rid your child of Satan's temptations if five or more of the
following are applicable to your child.

- Frequently wears black clothing.
[because black underwear is Eeevol (TM)]

- Wears band and/or rock t-shirts.
[because Creed and Evanescence have *no* Xtian themes...riiiiiight]

- Wears excessive black eye makeup, lipstick or nail polish.
[all good Xtians should look like Tammy Faye Baker]

- Wears any odd silver jewellery or symbols.
[because "good Xtians" always wear only 10k gold-plated jewelry from Avon]

- Shows an interest in piercing or tattoos.
[Yeah, I've never seen anyone with a tattoo of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, or an
angel, have you?]

- Listens to gothic or any other anti-social genres of music. (Marilyn Manson
claims to be the anti-Christ, and publicly speaks against the Lord. Please
discard any such albums IMMEDIATELY.)
[AAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Marilyn Manson is NOT goth! Besides Ozzy Osborne is the
"Prince of Fucking Darkness". Don't these fools watch TV?]

- Associates with other people that dress, act or speak eccentrically.
[??? Does the science club count? And obviously, theater sends you to Hell.]

- Shows a declining interest in wholesome activities, such as: the Bible,
prayer, church or sports.
[Yeah, those jocks *never* do anything unwholesome...vandalism, keg parties,
steroids...]

- Shows an increasing interest in death, vampires, magic, the occult,
witchcraft or anything else that involves Satan.
[Wait...doesn't reading the Bible involve Satan? I could have sworn that was
his first appearance. Hmm...]

- Takes drugs.
[About those jocks...]

- Drinks alcohol.
[There goes the Communion wine.]

- Is suicidal and/or depressed.
[Wouldn't you be depressed if your parents were such psychotic freaks?]

- Cuts, burns or partakes in any other method of self-mutilation. (This is a
Satanic ritual that uses pain to detract from the light of God and His love. 
Please seek immediate attention for this at your local mental health centre.)
[Uh...well, seeking help at the local mental health center is a good idea,
but not for that reason.]

- Complains of boredom.
[Because the Stepford Children are never bored, they just turn themselves
off.]

- Sleeps too excessively or too little
[Because there's nothing about the rapid hormonal changes during adolescence
that would alter a body's previous sleep cycle.]

- Is excessively awake during the night.
[Hunh?}

- Demands an unusual amount of privacy
[There is no escape from the freaks!!!]

- Spends large amounts of time alone.
[See above.]

- Requests time alone and quietness. (This is so that your chid may speak to
evil sprits through meditation.)
[This one is so stupid I can't think of anything to say.]

- Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
[Can't let little Johnny fornicate with his girlfriend, you know.]

- Disregards authority figures; teachers, priests, nuns and elders are but a
few examples of this.
[Is there a teenager on the face of the entire planet that *doesn't* ignore
"authority" figures?]

- Misbehaves at school.
- Misbehaves at home.
[See above.]

- Eats excessively or too little.
- Eats goth-related foods. Count Dracula cereal is an example of this.
[Goth food? This has to be a joke. No one is this stupid and still
breathing.]

- Drinks blood or expresses an interest in drinking blood. (Vampires believe
this is how to attain Satan. This act is very dangerous and should be stopped
immediately.)
[Then [Jesus] took a cup, and having offered thanks to God he gave it to them
with the words: "Drink from it, all of you. For this is my *blood*, the
blood of the covenant, shed for many for the forgiveness of sins." Anyone else
see the hypocrisy here?]

- Watches cable television or any other corrupted media sources. (Ask your
local church for proper programs that your child may watch.)
[The Thought Police are at it again.]

- Plays videos games that contains violence or role-playing nature.
- Uses the internet excessively and frequently makes time for the computer.
[Never mind that this was posted to the Internet.]

- Makes Satanic symbols and/or violently shakes head to music.
[The Holy Rollers falling on the floor in spastic fits to gospel music don't
count.]

- Dances to music in a provocative or sexual manner.
[All I can do is laugh at this one.]

- Expresses an interest in sex.
[Fornication is Bad.]

- Is homosexual and/or bisexual.
[Because God hates fags.]

- Pursues dangerous cult religions. Such include:
Satanism, Scientology, Philosophy, Paganism, Wicca, Hinduism and Buddhism
[Because we wouldn't want them to actually start *thinking* would we? Now be
a good little sheep and go read your Bible. Baaaa!]

- Wears pins, stickers or anything else that contains these various phrases:
"I'm so gothic, I'm dead", "woe is me", "I'm a goth".
- Claims to be a goth.
[Just in case you're too stupid to figure it out by observing the previous
"symptoms."]

If five or more of these apply to your child, please intervene immediately.
The gothic culture is dangerous and Satan thrives within it. If any of these
problems persist, enlist your child into your local mental health center.
[While you're at it, get your own head checked because obviously you're
obsessed and need large doses of medication.]

YAY!!! I have 27 of these symptoms. :) Hell awaits for me.