Defilement of All

As I wander the dark, endless, corridors
of this agonizingly ceaseless existence most refer to as life (oh, the irony),
I find it increasingly difficult
to not hurl myself from the highest building that I can find.

I just want to escape.

I am surrounded by enemies disguised as loved ones and
it is quite impossible for me to find anything remotely close
to the solitude that I so desperately desire.

I need my shadows...
I need my silence...
I crave the company of none but my own inner self.

They are, each and every one of them, nothing more than self preserving nihilists.
Clinging, with near dogmatic resolve, to their horrendous human instincts,
they refuse, with infallible stubbornness,
to extend the smallest gesture of what could be described as compassion
to any one of their fellow Earthmates,
electing instead to alter, destroy, or control
all that their horrid grasp can reach.

And with their clawed hands covering their bleeding eyes,
they cannot possibly conceive of the concept
that their own flawed mortality
(and not the godlike omnipotence that they believe they have obtained)
is dragging them always and forever downward
into a spiraling abyss of their own creation.
They have raped and they have destroyed...
they have taken and taken and taken until there is naught but ashes for them to covet.
And clinging to the charred remains of everything they have built
they somehow maintain the absurd mentality
that they are in some way superior
to those beings that have lived in harmonious peace and serenity
with both one another and the world around them
since the very beginning of all existence as we know it.

And I, standing on the precipice of oblivion,
willingly hurl myself into the center of the void.
For it is the last place on this empty husk of a planet
where one can find some semblance of peace.

OK, so I haven't been on in quite some time. Not sure why. Just haven't found the time or desire for some reason I guess. In any case it isn't as if much in my life has changed. I no longer work at the stinking fast food cesspool of Wendy's. I have a much nicer, albeit less frequent, job at Saver's now. For those who don't know, Savers is a thrift store. That means no grease, no uniform (although there is a dress code), no silly hat, no raw meat, no rushing to prepare food for unappreciative scumbags. And the best part is I get to wear my piercings to work!!! ^_^

Liz and I also have some new roommates: her sister Cassandra and Cass's boyfriend, Collin. They may not be perfect but they most certainly are a step up from the whining, attention seeking, booze consuming, lazy, lying, hypocritical, obnoxious waste of space that was our old roommate Kelsey. 

Also, I just started my third semester at CVTC! Yay! I am one step closer to realizing my dream of owning my own fantasy themed hobby shop.

And on that note, I need to get some homework done. I will try to be on more often from now on (not that anyone reads this anyway... but it helps keep me sane at any rate).

What happens when it is the dream that wakes and the sleeper that fades into memory?

Wind, Water, Fire, Earth, and Spirit

Wailing and weeping,
she whips up her gales.
Raging and roaring,
she releases her waves.
Screeching and screaming,
she spews forth her flames.
Bellowing and barking,
she unleashes her boulders.

Beaten and abused...
Raped and forgotten...
She slowly begins to wither...
And humanity along with her.

Untitled

The day that my life began
was a joyous and wondrous day to be sure.
Yet, tragic nonetheless...
For each newborn babe
taking it's first wobbly steps
down the winding path of life
is unknowingly destined for oblivion.
And I, of course, was no exception.

The day, she began as all days do, with a sunrise.
And oh, hers was truly a sight to behold.
Her rays of tenderness and love,
though wavering and uncertain at first,
soon illuminated the darkness of this world
and brought warmth and serenity to all they touched.
And as her light engulfed my slumbering form
my eyes where opened
and I began to exist.
The experience would one day leave me
with a truly bitter taste on my tongue, however,
for the love that was promised soon faded
as surly as the sun must set.
And I was left, cold and alone,
to slumber in the darkness once more.

Time became unknown to me,
and as I slept, I dreamt
and my dreams where all that sustained me.
I know not how long I remained in this state of living death,
but at some point I grew weary of my confinement
and reached out toward the light once more.
And even as the light blinded my eyes and seared my flesh,
I cried and begged and screamed for more.
And, in to her cruel and sadistic way,
she would have obliged me
had I not somehow found the will to resist.

Then, shrouding myself in a cloak of shadows,
I retreated into the soothing calm of the night
where I soon found him waiting...
and now I simply wait for he...

Sooooooo... once again it seems I am upset. After joining the Dragon's Club I posted an image of a dragon on my house and the guards deleted it. I also discussed how I love Magic, the Gathering and then posted an image of the key card in my deck as a visual guide and the guards deleted it. I know it is in the rules that you are only supposed to have images that you or a friend drew but I don't draw I only write and still wish to have images in my profile because I think it makes it look nicer and quite frankly what the hell does it hurt if I have them there? I don't want to leave Elftown as I am very much enjoying every other aspect of my experience here but at the same time I refuse to be a part of something that attempts to censor and control it's members in such a manner.

The Secret Embrace

Dancing...
    Dancing...
        Dancing...
The darkness of the summer night envelopes us
and hides our nakedness from prying eyes.
Our child-like giggles
and the squish of our feet on the moist earth
are drowned out by the pitter-patter of God's tears
falling from the heavens to bathe us and cleanse us.
My fingers grow jealous of our performance
and so they too begin to dance
across the exposed skin of your neck, arms, and torso.
My mouth finds yours eagerly
and I can taste rain drops on your tongue.
Our bodies move with such liquidity
that, very soon, a passerby would see naught but the rain...
Dancing...
    Dancing...
        Dancing...

Dear God, I love South Park.

First of all, I want to apologize about my very first diary entry being an angry one but it just happens to be what's on my mind.

I attend Chippewa Valley Technical College and when I get done with my classes every day and try to ride the bus home I am almost always forced to stand (and was even denied access to the bus completely one time) while others are allowed to sit comfortably. This would normally not be a problem at all. I am not that petty. It's just that these other passengers are all students of a nearby university and they are all on the bus just because they don't want to walk up a nearby hill called University Hill. This angers me to no end because I actually live off campus and I actually need to use the bus whereas these people are simply lazy. In the time they sit around waiting for the bus they could have walked up the hill three times. This may sound like a silly thing to be upset about to those reading this but to someone who needs to use the bus to get home and can't because of lazy assholes it is very aggravating and bothersome. In conclusion, I am disgusted with how lazy people are nowadays and with how inconsiderate they can sometimes be.