[SpiritOfTheWater]'s diary

883526  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-12-06
Written: (6561 days ago)
Next in thread: 883899

I am waaaaay too stressed out this week. My younger sister's in the hospital, AGAIN, my dad's a horrible alcoholic, my mom keeps avoiding any important "grown-up" topic I bring up, my fam is about to lose our house, etc.
First off, my younger sister is extremely sick and has this problem where her antibodies are eating away her nerves. She was in the hospital for it in the end of October, but she came home cuz we thought she would be okay and that it would leave her body. But no. It got worse. Twice as bad actually, and now she's back in the hospital for it and the don't know what to do about it. It's really upsetting.
Second, my dad can't survive without a beer in his hand. He's constantly pissy, and yells at me whenever something he does doesn't go right. I'm really upset. I'll go home after about 7-8 hours of school and 6 hours of work, and he somehow still finds the energy after almost 12 hours of working to yell at me for not doing the dishes while I was GONE!!!! WTF?! Then, nobody else gets yelled at. And if my mom tries to come to my defense he just yells at her. I swear they are going to get divorced one of these days.....
Also, I want a cell phone. I NEED a cell phone, AND can afford it!!! But, everytime I try to bring it up with my mom, she just says "I'm too tired to talk about it tonight Sami. We'll talk another time." I try everything. Talking to her as soon as I get home from school, talking over the phone, during a commercial during her fave show, during the news, etc. Everything. But no. She just doesn't wanna talk about it :(
Another thing, we owe more than like, 200 thousand bucks on our house and we can't afford it. It REALLY REALLY sucks because if we don't pay it by February, we lose our house. Then we have to move. And we can't afford even that. Which means, no food, no house, no school, no anything. I cry every night because I don't know what's going to happen to my family, and now, with Jenna in the hospital, our bills are gunna run higher and higher, which means we go more and more into debt EVERYday. I'm on the verge of tears like every minute of the day. It's really hard with Christmas coming up. All my friends expect gifts and talk about how much money they have to spend, and how much their parents are spending on them everyday, and I'm over here sitting on the couch wondering how much I need to give my parents to help pay for bills.
My life is slowly falling apart again......

*cries*
Sami

880816  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-29
Written: (6567 days ago)

I went to the BEST concert EVER last night.
It was soooo much fun.
It was the Panic! at the Disco concert.
I screamed my head off, and now I have no voice lol
Anywho, if you don't know much about them, look them up.
They're hot, sexy, and great musicians!
*laughs*
If I like 'em, I'm sure you will toooooo!!!

Love
Sami

878225  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-11-23
Written: (6574 days ago)

ARGH!!!!!!
I officially HATEHATEHATEHATE holidays!!!!!!!
It's the same DAMN THING every fucking time.
Family comes to my house.
Then they all act as if I don't exist.
I'll say something, a joke perhaps, and they'll look at me like I'm speaking a fucking alien language!!!!!!!
AUGH!
I just made a joke to my sister, ya know, sarcasm, about her purse lookin like an old lady purse and she got all defensive and slammed the door in my FACE!
WTF?!?!

878144  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-11-23
Written: (6574 days ago)

So. A lot has happened since my lastest entry. xD

I'm dating a new guy now lol. His name is JP. I'm not sure if I like him though. Yes, again, I'm being a picky, spoiled, bitch. I do this every time. Anywho, I mean, I like him, but I don't think I like him enough to stay with him for very long. This will be our *thinks* third week together, and he's not what I was hoping he was. He's extremely Christian (not like that's bad), which is great, considering he's rooted and all, but it sucks because he won't hold hands, he won't kiss, etc. and that's kinda what I like about boyfriends. God I sound so fuckin shallow >_<........ Yeah, so that's my boy crisis of the day.

So, I decided I truly DESPISE being ADHD. I can't ever focus, I am constantly distracted, I have to be moving at all times, and I can't ever stop talking (as you can tell)! It's really hard with school. I get in trouble with my fucking teachers all the god damn time. I really hate it. My grades drop cuz I can't remember anything, and my "behavior" is bad (talking) so I get marked down for that too. I've tried talking to my teachers about it, but they all say "ADHD is all mental. You can control it, you just have to try harder." <img:img/mood/44166_1164145272.gif> One of these days I'm gunna walk up to one of 'em and just plain out bitch slap them across the face.

Also, I got a job!!!!! WOOT! Monies! <img:img/mood/44166_1164218131.gif> *laughs* Yeah. So I'm a cashier at the grocery store down in town. I work a lot though, and I'm on my feet anywhere from 6-8 hours. I work 5 out of 7 days. And when I work on school nights, I go to work straight after school (4) then work till 10. I don't end up getting home till somewhere close to 11. It's really hard with homework and stuff. Other than those few issues I love it! The people I work with are extremely kind, and all my customers are really patient. It's fantastic.

I finally decided that I like how I look. Wanna know why? Cuz at work, I get male customers all the time, right? But of course, sadly enough, they're all too old for me (and I gots a b/f lol). But yesterday, this guy who's like, 23-ish comes in, and just so happens to come to my register to check out. Of course he buys cigarettes, and being only 16, I have to call someone over to check them out for him. When I explain this to him he says, "You're only 16? Wow, I thought you were 18 or 19. Well, for the record, you're a beautiful 16-yr-old." Of course I thank him and feel all special, especially since this guy's really hot lol. Then he goes all bold on me and says, "Give me a call when you're 18, alright?" I just laugh and say "I'll try to remember that." with a smile on my face. He laughs and does a small cheer-ish thing (says "Woohoo, something to look forward to!") then takes his things and leaves, but as he's exiting he pauses, comes back and tells me Happy Thanksgiving. The horribly extreme pain in my feet was definitely worth it after that LOL!!! He made my day and reminded me of how pretty I really am.

So, overall, I rock <img:img/mood/44166_1164145221.gif>

-Sami <img:img/mood/44166_1164099989.gif>

870980  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-11-04
Written: (6593 days ago)

So, Trey broke up with quite a while back, and I was really upset, cuz this was the first guy I ever.... loved. I cried for a while, then started to hate him. The next day he got back with his ex-girlfriend. I was pissed. I would ignore him every time he tried to talk to me, and I would go the long way to my classes, just to avoid him. That was In October. Now it's November and I've moved on. I've dated other guys since then, none which have worked out, which is no new news to me. I just can't seem to find the right guy!!!
I am too picky. It's official. I find one little thing wrong with a guy and then can't get over it. Then I dump him. It's sad. And dissapointing......

Anywho...... So I decided what I'm going to do with my life. I'm gunna be a veterinarian. Yay! I love animals and taking care of them and what-not. I'm going to go to Colorado State University in Fort Collins. They have a vet program there. I'll major in it and what-not, then work somewhere in colorado. I love it here and I guess I can't ever leave lol.

SO, Apparantly I'm like, super popular this year. What the hell are the chances of that?!?! Everyone wants to hang out with me, all the guys like me, and I have awesome grades in all my classes, none of which have ever happened before. Except in like, elementary school, which doesn't really count lol. Anyway, I've dated five guys already this year, though they weren't more than two week relationships (except with Trey). And guys just keep telling me they like me. It's kinda freaky. I have more friends than ever, and I hang out with every group at my school..... for the most part. I am happy because, being a junior, I have so much to worry about, what with college and my social status, and now I don't have to worry about either! My GPA is 2.7, which is MUCH better than it was last year!!!!!! Last year I had a GPA of like, 1.4 or something. THAT was bad. So, I'm just kinda chillin and speeding through the year. Can you believe the semester is already half over????

Well, I've rambled enough for today I think, so I'll tty all later!!

-Sami

853860  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-09-17
Written: (6641 days ago)

Trey and I shared our first kiss last night, on my birthday. He had to leave, so I walked him up the driveway to his car, even though it was pitch black and neither of us had flashlights. It also didn't help that it was about 40 degrees outside. He was so sweet; I said I was cold, so he puts his arms around me to warm me up. Then we got to his car and we hugged and then he leaned down lightly and kissed me. The kiss wasn't so great, cuz we both did two completely different forms of kissing, but it was still so sweet. It was just perfect in a sense of timing. I've never french-kissed before, and that's what he tried to do, so it was a little odd lol. But, I felt happy the rest of the night.

852783  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-09-14
Written: (6643 days ago)

I absolutely love my boyfriend, Trey. He is the sexiest Italian man I know! He's the sweetest most respectful guy I have ever met. Today is our one week anniversary. I've liked him for a few years lol. He just asked me out a week ago. I must say I am the happiest girl I know right now!!!

Oh, and to make things better, my birthday is in 2 days! Yay! 16 on the 16th. Hell yeah bitches!

586786  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-05-31
Written: (7116 days ago)

life is just one screw up after another.....a few months ago we found out my dad had cancer, then my mom has to get a thrid surgery for her back this summer, then my sister sprained her ankle....for the like, 8th time. then i admit to myself that i am a lesbian, and now everybody is driving me insane, espacially these two ppl at school!!! AUGH!!!!!! *passes out from stress*

506506  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-26
Written: (7210 days ago)
Next in thread: 642124

i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life i hate life.....it sux majorly! guys hate me, my friends usually hate me......what more need i say?

486418  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-03
Written: (7233 days ago)

please take my poll first off.....secondly, why do guys hate me? (look at my pic under mi casa.) am i ugly or something?

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