my cowboy returns tonight!! yeeeehhhaawww!

so tomorrow's new years, attempted to throw a party but things are getting confusing and no one is answering their phone, i think it's just because im a loser, but whatever itll be a good night regardless ^_^

it's been 4 days too many...wow i never thought id miss him this much...i've been listening to the same sad song lol...oh well...he comes home tomorrow!!!!!!! i guess im happy ha..yeah so tonight i went out to the movies with august chelsea anne and glenn and my oh my was that amazing, some unexpected stuff happened which was humerous but cute, and then we went to target to see cOrY while he was workin and then it was home to try to catch adam on the Alamo Bowl with the band, but, they didnt show it....oh well -_; anyways, gotta blast!


I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel right, when you've gone away
The worst is over now, and we can breathe again
I want to hold you high, you steal my pain away
there's so much left to learn and no one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain, away
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm open,
and I don't feel like, I am strong enough.
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm lonesome,
and I don't feel right, when you're g o n e a w a y.

it's been 3 days too many..




yeehaw says the cowgirl as shes gettin it on with him

10 bucks he's with the bush twins, they'd do anyone

so this is the thing...he calls me last night when he gets to texas, and i hear his friends around and we go to get off the phone i say i love you, long pause, he says bye and hangs up

a few days before we're making a movie, his friends are around, im completely ignored

anyone see a pattern?? when hes around his friends im ignored, it's like he's embarassed to be with me...i feel as if he found someone else in Texas, i dont know why...those band people are sex-crazed...he found someone...

it's been 1 day too many





i know he's probably running off with some cowgirl he met...or something like that....there's someone else, i could tell by his voice last night on the phone...either someone else or he wants to break it off...im so confused -_-

where are you? and I'm so sorry
i cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight,
i need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time,
and as I stared I counted,
webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides.
like indecision to call you,
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight..
stop this pain tonight...

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head...I miss you...


he's gone until thursday night....-_;

the plan: ill need a plain, and someone who knows how to drive it

im in warren right now, bored as hell...i need friends up here...so adam is leaving tomorrow and wont be back until probably thursday??...ill miss him -_;

gotta blast!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!


i hope it snows tomorrow!

long day, totally pointless to be in school...we did absolutely NOTHING...really retarded, so after school hung out with adam<3 and then came back here to the mothers..not fun, oh well, so yeah...tomorrows x-mas eve!!!!!!!!!!! eeep!! but yeah so sunday adam is going to texas and it's going to be really lonely without him -_;...tear lol yeah so anyways, going to warren saturday and im driving..woohoo for crashing the car!!! lol well i guess ill be going now....chat later buh bye

at the library with loraine...cuz she's hot like that....and i didnt want to ride this bus home....so im kinda stuck here until i get a ride, then hanging out with the love of my life bill!!!!!! lol yeah....bye bye

an emo moment


This pain lingers on inside of me
the love i never feel, the love i need to feel
why must you tell me that i am loved when the one person i need the affection from, doesn't seem to know that i exist
I can feel the hurt eating away inside of me
tears run down my cheeks, rain storm on my face
lying here alone, dying on my own
falling apart, not feeling the love that a child should feel from it's mother...the one person who I should feel love from
I pray to God to help me get by day by day, but with no response, I can't keep the faith as strong, the more I pray the less I believe and the worse everyday gets

yeah.....hooray for me

for some reason im not patient enough to do the first entry so i always end up doing two....so i called my mom at like...2:50 and she was like "ill be home in 15minutes"...it's like 4:30 and she still isn't home......i cant stand alcoholics...they ruin their lives and the people in their lives.....it's so depressing ha...anyways, im really tired and really sick of the lies people feed me....i just want to go live with adam or bill.....those two i see all the time and seem to be the once who care most....lauren and anne care too...but i dont see them as much lol....but i dont know, those 4 seem to be my only close close friends anymore...everyone else just kind of talks to me when they feel like it...and decide that one day we're friends, the next we're not....it's dumb.....i need to get out of Pittsburgh and go somewhere like....Italy, yeah i can go to Rome!!!! amazing it would be lol

well.....im going to go get some warm clothes on, im cold...VERY cold.....fair-the-well!

bored....very bored, 2hour delay today...that was cool...other than that? bored

just got out of the shower....getting ready for a family party....yeah, going to be dumb, but lifeteen should be fun tonight the x-mas partAY!!!! so yeah, im just gonna sit here and contiplate.....talked to adam lst night for like 5minutes on the phone...that was interesting, then anne texted me and woke me up this morning...stupid dirty whore...KIDDING ANNE! so yeah hoping lauren comes tonight, i havent seen her in like ages...it's depressing ^_;...*cries* well i think im gonna go now...im kinda cold....

-britt

im writing again, this could get personal and long...so like a few years ago i dated this guy named greg, and i was convinced he was my first love....he was amazing and i was happy, he just lived kinda far away...and we kind of got in a fight because he was leading me on for a long time by telling me how he loved me and i fell for it and i wanted him back...and now he has a new gf?

"as one last favor make an exception for me. forget me. the memories will pass. out of sight out of mind."

thats what he said to me...and now i dont know what to do now....i want to talk to him still...he was one of my closest friends...and now hes just gone....i thought i was over him when i met adam....but i guess not.......i hate guys....why cant they be easier to get over???

bye kids

hmm..so today was alright, anne came over and helped me make this, i thought it was pretty cool.....so yeah, i am really bored....i dont know, i hung out wtih adam today, that was cool, but i guess im just going to go now, ill talk later
-Britt