school today....sucked as usual....gnsjk ghjs h tkshtio yeah so this weekend trying to think of stuff to do..Mister M. get back to me bout saturday lol.. so yeah...i dunno, i think its bad when you start to like someone and you're involved in a relationship...but i doubt id have a chance, i just dont know how much longer adam and i will last...its been over 10 months..what ta do what ta do.....later bizznatches

so im at the library, bored, bored bored, so i went out with adam last night we went to the mall, then on our way to mcdonalds, and as we're walking in we hear like 50million people running across mcknight highway (dumb idea) and here out of those people only to find mr steve, thomas f and jeremey h! exciting is it not?? so talked to them, the mcdonalds people weren't too happy, but anyways, so after mcdonalds adam and i went back to my house to watch farenheight 9/11 my 2nd bible on dvd, it was amuzing ^_^ so yeah well im out i will talk to you cats laaatteeerrrrrrrr

i dont know...i just dont know, im happy for the kid, i really am...but part of me is just like....damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit lol...oh well, it'd never happen anyways, between us? not like im obsessed, just thought thered be a slight chance, but nope, oh well...doesnt matter either way, im happy for the kid........





right..later cats

with meghan at the library...yay!!!!!!!11

w00t....school=suckage, god i hated it today, i got an unwanted visit from an unwanted friend who will be staying with me for a week or so..UUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! lol anne knows who it is ^_~ lol, so yeah nothing else too craaazzzyyy, i guess ill write here later

byeeeeeeeee

10 months today...^_^...its amazing how we've come to 10 months already..im so happy though so anyways...last night went out to starbucks with stacey and when the stuck up college people just kinda stared at us when we walked in, we ordered our stuff and went to pizza hut lol, so after that, we just kinda chilled at PH, it was cool though, we talked about lifeteen and stuff...it's nice being like a big sister to someone ^_^ so anyways im off to clean, then lifeteen tonight, then iceskating with adam...w00t!!!!!!!!!

-later cats: britt

Happy new year everyone, and wow was yesterday amazing, so adam and i get in a little quarrell, so i spent the day upset and what not, so then the phone rings, its about 4, and its adam and he was like "hey, come outside"..so i get shoes on, and he's standing outside by his truck with a rose sitting on the truck and wonderful tonight(our song) playing from his truck...oh wow, i know it seems cheesy, but it was sooo sweet, so i cried ya know the whoe movie thing lol, and then he went home to eat dinner and i ate here, then he came to get me around 5:30, we hung out at my house then went to see meet the fockers, then came back here and waited for Mister Joe and Miss Lauren to arrive and we hung out all night, lauren left around 12:30 joe left around 1 and adam stayed over night...it was a fun time i tell ya ^_^ but yeah, better get going, cleaning to do!! love you all  -fair-the-well

my cowboy hates me...

MY COWBOY IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my cowboy returns tonight!! yeeeehhhaawww!

so tomorrow's new years, attempted to throw a party but things are getting confusing and no one is answering their phone, i think it's just because im a loser, but whatever itll be a good night regardless ^_^

it's been 4 days too many...wow i never thought id miss him this much...i've been listening to the same sad song lol...oh well...he comes home tomorrow!!!!!!! i guess im happy ha..yeah so tonight i went out to the movies with august chelsea anne and glenn and my oh my was that amazing, some unexpected stuff happened which was humerous but cute, and then we went to target to see cOrY while he was workin and then it was home to try to catch adam on the Alamo Bowl with the band, but, they didnt show it....oh well -_; anyways, gotta blast!


I wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well
I want to hold you high and steal your pain
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm lonesome
and I don't feel right, when you've gone away
The worst is over now, and we can breathe again
I want to hold you high, you steal my pain away
there's so much left to learn and no one left to fight
I want to hold you high and steal your pain, away
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm open,
and I don't feel like, I am strong enough.
because I'm [ broken ], when I'm lonesome,
and I don't feel right, when you're g o n e a w a y.

it's been 3 days too many..




yeehaw says the cowgirl as shes gettin it on with him

10 bucks he's with the bush twins, they'd do anyone

so this is the thing...he calls me last night when he gets to texas, and i hear his friends around and we go to get off the phone i say i love you, long pause, he says bye and hangs up

a few days before we're making a movie, his friends are around, im completely ignored

anyone see a pattern?? when hes around his friends im ignored, it's like he's embarassed to be with me...i feel as if he found someone else in Texas, i dont know why...those band people are sex-crazed...he found someone...

it's been 1 day too many





i know he's probably running off with some cowgirl he met...or something like that....there's someone else, i could tell by his voice last night on the phone...either someone else or he wants to break it off...im so confused -_-

where are you? and I'm so sorry
i cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight,
i need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time,
and as I stared I counted,
webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides.
like indecision to call you,
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight..
stop this pain tonight...

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head...I miss you...


he's gone until thursday night....-_;

the plan: ill need a plain, and someone who knows how to drive it

im in warren right now, bored as hell...i need friends up here...so adam is leaving tomorrow and wont be back until probably thursday??...ill miss him -_;

gotta blast!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!


i hope it snows tomorrow!

long day, totally pointless to be in school...we did absolutely NOTHING...really retarded, so after school hung out with adam<3 and then came back here to the mothers..not fun, oh well, so yeah...tomorrows x-mas eve!!!!!!!!!!! eeep!! but yeah so sunday adam is going to texas and it's going to be really lonely without him -_;...tear lol yeah so anyways, going to warren saturday and im driving..woohoo for crashing the car!!! lol well i guess ill be going now....chat later buh bye

at the library with loraine...cuz she's hot like that....and i didnt want to ride this bus home....so im kinda stuck here until i get a ride, then hanging out with the love of my life bill!!!!!! lol yeah....bye bye

an emo moment


This pain lingers on inside of me
the love i never feel, the love i need to feel
why must you tell me that i am loved when the one person i need the affection from, doesn't seem to know that i exist
I can feel the hurt eating away inside of me
tears run down my cheeks, rain storm on my face
lying here alone, dying on my own
falling apart, not feeling the love that a child should feel from it's mother...the one person who I should feel love from
I pray to God to help me get by day by day, but with no response, I can't keep the faith as strong, the more I pray the less I believe and the worse everyday gets

yeah.....hooray for me

for some reason im not patient enough to do the first entry so i always end up doing two....so i called my mom at like...2:50 and she was like "ill be home in 15minutes"...it's like 4:30 and she still isn't home......i cant stand alcoholics...they ruin their lives and the people in their lives.....it's so depressing ha...anyways, im really tired and really sick of the lies people feed me....i just want to go live with adam or bill.....those two i see all the time and seem to be the once who care most....lauren and anne care too...but i dont see them as much lol....but i dont know, those 4 seem to be my only close close friends anymore...everyone else just kind of talks to me when they feel like it...and decide that one day we're friends, the next we're not....it's dumb.....i need to get out of Pittsburgh and go somewhere like....Italy, yeah i can go to Rome!!!! amazing it would be lol

well.....im going to go get some warm clothes on, im cold...VERY cold.....fair-the-well!