went for a walk with jamie last night, somehow ended up in the indian villiage...hmm oh well lol...uhh thats about the highlight of my night last night

and again i sit here and listen to emo like a crazy loon

God I miss him...and i thought i'd be able to move on...but i cant

i cant damnit...

scratch that

anne thanks for being there and not excluding me nor forgetting about me

i feel like such a joke to my friends

anne and gates-thanks for not making me feel left out all the time and like a moron =)

JoradTheDevourer: have you heard the song "dont stop believin" by journey
JoradTheDevourer: i heard it on the radio today
elL whY enN: oh my
elL whY enN: how could i have not?!?!?!
JoradTheDevourer: sounded like something youd like
elL whY enN: EVERYONE LIKES JOURNEY!!!!!!!!
elL whY enN: *sings with high pitched voice*
elL whY enN: just a small town girl
elL whY enN: livin in a lonely world
elL whY enN: took the midnight train goin annyywwhheerrreee
JoradTheDevourer: she took the midnight train
elL whY enN: just a city boy
JoradTheDevourer: damn you beat me
elL whY enN: born and raised in south detroit
elL whY enN: he took the midnight train
elL whY enN: goin annnyywwwhhheeerrreee
elL whY enN: *guitar solo*
elL whY enN: singer in a smokey room
elL whY enN: the smell of whine and cheap perfume
elL whY enN: for a smile they can share the night
elL whY enN: it goes
elL whY enN: on and on and on and on
JoradTheDevourer: yes i can see you know it
elL whY enN: lol


ahhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well DUH i know it EVERYONE DOES!!

CapGinyu67: must be like how mike likes skinny girls and i like girls with curves and love handles.

...well maybe i shouldt like mike anymore

elL whY enN: why do you think i liked you for so long
elL whY enN: lol
sploga123: lol
sploga123: you shoulda told me
sploga123: i kinda liked you too at the beginning of 9th
elL whY enN: really?
sploga123: yes
elL whY enN: damnit
sploga123: i was just affraid
elL whY enN: *smacks head*
sploga123: lol
elL whY enN: i liked you from 8th grade to like..middle of 10th!!!!
sploga123: lol
sploga123: for me end of 8th beginning of 9th
elL whY enN: im mad now
elL whY enN: lol
sploga123: lol
elL whY enN: aww
sploga123: hey just letting you know if i wasnt madly in love with dani i would go for you
elL whY enN: i told you when it was too late
elL whY enN: haha thanks cory lol
sploga123: lol
sploga123: yea i was too affraid to ask you

lol ITS NOT FAIR...i liked him since 8th grade and watched him go from girl to girl while i was "the best friend" grrrrrr

oh well..

JonesGlnn: what's on your mind?
elL whY enN: what isnt on my mind
JonesGlnn: well?
JonesGlnn: what isn't?
elL whY enN: pizza
JonesGlnn: anything else?
elL whY enN: animals?
JonesGlnn: what are you thinking?
elL whY enN: how much i need to get out of pittsburgh
elL whY enN: and away from everyone i know here
JonesGlnn: is it that bad?
elL whY enN: more or less
JonesGlnn: i'm sorry, i miss home from time to time,
elL whY enN: are you comming home next summer or staying there?
JonesGlnn: yeah i'll be coming home
elL whY enN: because if you're staying i think adam anne and maybe someone else and i are going to come down visit you then we;ll all go to the beach
JonesGlnn: get my license, get a car
elL whY enN: aw yay
elL whY enN: wlel nevermind the beach
JonesGlnn: and then i won't be coming back
elL whY enN: wait what
JonesGlnn: next summer i'll be at home to get a driver's license, and a car,
JonesGlnn: i'll go back to school in the fall
JonesGlnn: and stay down here
elL whY enN: what about holidays?
JonesGlnn: this college has a habit of its alumni not leaving town
JonesGlnn: i can't say i blame it
JonesGlnn: the city is amazing
JonesGlnn: it's got the highest gay population on the east coast
elL whY enN: what about holidays
JonesGlnn: i dunno
JonesGlnn: maybe christmas
elL whY enN: :-\
JonesGlnn: britt, if you were here, you'd never want to leave either
elL whY enN: nevermind
elL whY enN: well i hope you like it there
JonesGlnn: i do, you should come here for school, at least visit

......wow am i not happy..... -_-

so last night really wasnt that bad...

i think i got a big crush on mike though

=[ eek lol *blushes*

Se parto qui Farebbe domani lei me ricorda tuttavia? Per devo viaggiare su, adesso, 'la Causa ci è troppi luoghi che ho preso vedere. Ma, se sono stato qui con lei, la ragazza, le Cose non potrebbero essere
appena lo stesso. 'Causa sono come libera come un uccello adesso, E quest'uccello che lei non può cambiare. E quest'uccello che lei non può cambiare. E quest'uccello che lei non può cambiare. Il signore sa,
non posso cambiare.

Ciao, ciao, il bambino il suo è stato un amore dolce. Nonostante questo sentimento che non posso cambiare. Ma non lo porta per favore cosí male, 'il Signore di Causa sa che sono biasimare. Ma, se sono stato qui con
lei la ragazza, le Cose non potrebbero essere appena lo stesso. Causare sono come libera come un uccello adesso, E quest'uccello che lei non cambierà mai. E quest'uccello che lei non può cambiare. E quest'uccello
lei non può cambiare il Signore sa, non posso cambiare. L'aiuto di signore me, posso non chaye-ea-ea-ea-. Il signore, non posso cambiare. Farà non lei vola... alto. ..free... l'uccello. (Si).

(L'Assolo di chitarra)



thank you adam ^_^

(freebird)

so i was reading a bulletin on Myspace about child abuse...and wow it brought back memories

its so weird, i forgave him i did..i mean..i havent made it to the grave yard or anything, but i know in my heart that i forgive him....but it still haunts me when there's a storm, hes dead, and yet im afraid of him comming back...and like...my mom, when she comes home drunk it scares me....and i know things have calmed down this past year....but im still scared...i dunno......i guess ever since the divorce ive been so cautious about life....i wish i lived with my dad sometimes....

-_- damnit

JonesGlnn: i got yelled at by campus security
elL whY enN: lkol why???
JonesGlnn: being naked
elL whY enN: haha
JonesGlnn: and i gave a guy a boner, i feel proud yet awkard
elL whY enN: lol oh geeze
JonesGlnn: and he got yelled at for being naked too
JonesGlnn: leave that one to your imagination
elL whY enN: oh my
JonesGlnn: O:-)
elL whY enN: good job glenn...
JonesGlnn: nothing happened
JonesGlnn: :-P
elL whY enN: :-P
elL whY enN: oh my
JonesGlnn: what?
JonesGlnn: can't a straight guy and gay guy be naked together?
elL whY enN: they can
JonesGlnn: good



so i think im going to turn my ET diaries into glenn updates, so if you wanna know how glenn's doin...come right here puppies :p

kysengur: even Andy really liked Glenn
elL whY enN: really
elL whY enN: that surprises me, because andy never let glenn talk or anything during pulse
kysengur: no he really likes Glenn, believe it or not, we've talked about how great Glenn is, because it's cool to have people that really think a lot and challenge things, because they are really seeking truth

who would have thought....

JonesGlnn: so guy stubble hurts when you make out, why did no one tell me this?
elL whY enN: who did you make out with?!?
JonesGlnn: several people
elL whY enN: good job glenn
JonesGlnn: it was spin the bottle and everyone got naked
elL whY enN: all girls??
JonesGlnn: good college fun
JonesGlnn: nope
JonesGlnn: 5 guys maybe 7-9 girls

well im glad he's enjoying himself -_-

im just so sick of people, i know i havent been the brightest ray of sunshine but the past week hasnt been the best week for me, im not even in the city and my mom had something to yell at me about last week and telling me things that a mother should just NOT tell her daughter, emotions are going back and forth with people, friends are falling away from me, the typical 'dad' pressure and im just sick of people treating me like shit, i would help him out or atleast try with every problem he came to me with, i tried t be the best friend, and when i had a problem he never tried, but i still tried to help him, and now i dont even know him anymore....im so fucking tired of people i need to be alone for a long time....


now that my venting is out im done

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours


-the prettiest song i heard all weekend ^_^

why does it always happen with adam's friends?!

if it isnt bill it's rj...damnit that sucked, i know i shouldn't have walked away, but it was the wrong place and time to talk about it, not at church where peopel can barge in, i hope he calls or something -_- i didnt want to cry in front of him, so i walked away....but yeah, other than that whole thing the weekend was cool, i had my mind on so many other things it was hard for me to enjoy company of people sometimes, but hey, oh well, the kids sucked, they were so bad!

but some quotes of the weekend
adam "they're not utters, just impressive"
(after my chip impression)
brian "thats the FUNNIEST thing i've ever seen a girl do"
chip's deer story gets bigger


and more, ill update later

...you don't have to live like a refugee...



well i talked to bill...and i really dont know where to go from here...

XStrangerInside: i love you becasue i can always talk to, your easy to talk to, i can tell you anything, i feel totaly comfotable around you. i have nothing to hide. you make me smile no matter what mood im in. your beautiful no matter what you may think. and there is always the undescrible feeling i get when i think about you. words cant describe it but its there. :-)


just when i think the burden's gone..i get this....DAMNIT!!!!! ;_;

it's funnt cause/...i dont really care?.....like, im actually kidna happy, i feel like a burden was lifted off my shoulders, probablu because i was a horrible girlfriend to him anyways....i did well...cheat on the man..

ahh damnit


*smacks head*

wow i probably have alot of bruises from that :p

anyways

uuuhhhmmmmmmmmmm

bye losers

Roger D the duck: hey
XStrangerInside: hey, whats up
Roger D the duck: nothin
Roger D the duck: is everything ok between us?
XStrangerInside: yeah, you asked me last night and i told you that it was
Roger D the duck: but it still feels weird
Roger D the duck: i dont know, i feel like
Roger D the duck: well i guess we'll talk one ofwe're so far apart right now
XStrangerInside: i think its just casue we havnt been able to talk for so long
Roger D the duck: but why
XStrangerInside: i have been doing work around the house all week and been really tired these days
XStrangerInside: we will soon, i promise baby, i really am sorry
Roger D the duck: dont be
Roger D the duck: it's just ive had this empty feeling inside me lately
XStrangerInside: i know what you mean
Roger D the duck: :-\i dunno, it doesnt even feel like you're my boyfriend the way we havent been talking and i hate it
XStrangerInside: well i hope im still your boyfriend
Roger D the duck: i hope so too
Roger D the duck: but i dont know how much of this i can take
Roger D the duck: of us not talking or anything
XStrangerInside: yeah, i know what you mean
Roger D the duck: i dunno
Roger D the duck: what do you want to do?
XStrangerInside: i dont know
Roger D the duck: :-\
Roger D the duck: *sigh* i love you so much and i dont want us to go through something bad
XStrangerInside: all relationships go through tuff times
Roger D the duck: i know
Roger D the duck: but not all relationships have a situation where the couple doesnt talk nor see eachother for 6months
XStrangerInside: what do you want to do
Roger D the duck: i want to move to butler and you to get better so you can drive
Roger D the duck: but thats not gonna happen anytime soon
XStrangerInside: so what do you want to do
Roger D the duck: thats the thing i dont know
XStrangerInside: im sorry, i wish i could do sothing to make this all better

Auto response from Roger D the duck: i need a good cry right about now...

brb

Roger D the duck: me too
Roger D the duck: it isnt your fault
Roger D the duck: it's just timing
XStrangerInside: yeah
Roger D the duck: i dunno, and i guess i get so scared thinking about you going into the military
Roger D the duck: even if you cant go to war
Roger D the duck: ...it still scares me
XStrangerInside: i dont know what to say
Roger D the duck: dont worry about it
Roger D the duck: ...i dont know maybe im just being retarded
XStrangerInside: no, i understand where your coming from
Roger D the duck: :-(what are we gonna do baby
XStrangerInside: i dont know
Roger D the duck: hooray for teenlove
XStrangerInside: yeah, start the parade
Roger D the duck: :-(
Roger D the duck: what if like
Roger D the duck: i dunno
XStrangerInside: just say it
Roger D the duck: tell me what you think and we dont have to if you dont want to
Roger D the duck: but like, we wait until you can drive again or i get my license and we can start seeing eachother
Roger D the duck: like actually hanging out and stuff
Roger D the duck: if you dont want to do that we wont
Roger D the duck: but it feels like this is only hurting us now
XStrangerInside: no, that fine.
Roger D the duck: are you sure?
XStrangerInside: yea
Roger D the duck: like we can still talk all the time right?
XStrangerInside: sure
Roger D the duck: are you sure you want to do this
XStrangerInside: you want to do this, i dont want to hold you back from anything. i understand. everythings fine
Roger D the duck: i dont necissarily want to do this, i want to be with you
Roger D the duck: but i dont know about you, but us being apart has been killing me
Roger D the duck: i mean...i stil want to tell you i love you and everything
XStrangerInside: i dont know
Roger D the duck: about what
XStrangerInside: everything
XStrangerInside: i cant even think right now
Roger D the duck: :-\
Roger D the duck: ahh im sorry
Roger D the duck: im such a bad person i kno
XStrangerInside: dont be
Roger D the duck: w
XStrangerInside: your not a bad person
Roger D the duck: i feel like shit
XStrangerInside: dont,
Roger D the duck: are you mad at me?
XStrangerInside: no,
Roger D the duck: ,...
XStrangerInside: i didnt mean the ","
Roger D the duck: ehh im just so paranoid right now
XStrangerInside: why
Roger D the duck: i dunno
Roger D the duck: im afraid that you'll never talk to me again
XStrangerInside: dont worrie about that

thats really all you need to read

greg and i=kaput

 >.<   *smacks head*


aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! stop liking him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>>>>.<<<<<<