I never thought I'd do this and in terms of popular habits, this seems outdated but I digress, this is awesome to me.

Copied and Pasted from Yahoo Instant Messenger:

Elisabeth: It's called Midnight Sun, it's about Edward.

David: So is it like the last book or what?

Elisabeth: I don't really know, it could be considered the most recent but it's not published, it's online to the best of my knowledge.

David: I suppose the tweens can get their fix from the internet as well, lovely.

Elisabeth: Putting your strong discontent with the whole series aside you must admit it was real cool for the author to put it online where anyone can read it for free.

David: I fully agree, because it's so credible to not only yourself but your line of books to make it into a movie series with substandard actors where the definition of acting is to be shirtless. Not to mention whoring it out to the masses and malls in every notion of merchandise because nothing expresses your great work of literature like it being on trapper keepers and buttons. But hey, what is money, right?

Elisabeth: *jaw drops* Damn.

Being quick witted pays off sometimes =]

Dreams are such an oddity aren't they? Are they messages from your own mind and body, perhaps someone else? Maybe they can be described as the B-sides and remixes of the past and present. Rounded to the point, they are mental but what further eludes me is that what if not one but several dreams had smell? A self counterpoint would be that via these dreams, the sheer yearning for believing the abstract reality in our projected imaginations substitute for smell, such as "picturing" an ocean breeze or a hickory ballad of suspended leaves in the fall. To me, it seems that life isn't figuring out a solution to a paradox for life is composed of numerous ones, and each have ligaments to a bigger one so it's more of coping and coexisting with the proclamations of pondering. Though devastating and demoralizing, the best messages are the ones that char the very marrow. For what pains you means it penetrated every wall you had and claws at the door of your mind. It is at that point you as a person are affected by this, for how ever long, this is a part of you, for better or for worse. But all in all, for whatever a dream is or what the true messages of things are, there's always good, the mind is a muscle, it can be trained and broken down to only be stronger but it's also very gullible, if you treat it like wood then it will be carved beyond dust, going with the will of the wind.

Another observation is that I'm more at ease with myself as a person, I observed both the figurative sense and the actual physical embodiment of the ripple effect. Though it's an all too elementary saying, if you could just dissect yourself and place your very being with the art and sounds of the words and silently stare at the droplet crashing into the water and visualize your life... just you and the flickering of a projector of who, what, where, when, and WHY you are. Our actions, the initial droplet is our own doing and the ripples come with time, such as the fruits of labor will eventually come as so with the agony of apathy. In this particular point of my life, I'm actually starting to receive many of the positive actions I've made, so many changes, outside and in, so many scars mental and physical but accomplishment comes at the dominance of obstacles. All these good occurrences benefit me as in my own person and so forth, I don't place my troubles and dreams into people, if you can't balance your own faults and insecurities then why put them on another's plate? You and you alone are the solution and I hope that my observations and a semi-epiphany help you in some small way to becoming happier, spiritually wealthier, and peaceful people.

Sweet dreams.

It's funny how after being in this strange land of Iraq for 14 months, all this bitterness and prejudice just seems to reside in one image, a Mosque. The simplistic beauty of it, the clearing waves of uncertainty and you can see the black and white decay and you think that maybe this war, this cause, their way of life, very well, these people have the promise, the pride, the passion for change. Then literally less than a day later, where you stood, what you saw changes in a second, a car bomb destroys that Mosque, and then the waves crash, your perspective is as black as white as a chess board and hate welcomes your soul as its' very home... it's funny.

May 2007 - Feb 2008 - Aug 5 2008

What beauty has decayed, a remorse so fierce manifest such tragedy...

Tangible Timelessness.

I find it truly puzzling sometimes, the imbalance of both emotions and physical strain. On one side you have home and the other work, it seems like everything is doing well at home/personal but work seems to be non-stop and now the stage is that home/personal life is going achingly downhill but work seems to slow down and now I have more free time, it's confusing. It seems these feelings and moments are a direct result of me deploying which in turn makes me want to go to Iraq sooner so this perpetual stream of bullshit and this mental transgression will cease. it's pulling me to two extremes, either in a good laughing mood or the "I want to kill everyone and everything" mood. Sometimes I fathom whether it's myself conditioning myself distort situations or if I see them as they are, I really do need a balance, it can be me being right, wrong, or both, some more than the other but these questions seriously consume me. In no way is this "emo", I'm not seeking attention or help just relieving stress and bitter anger. If there were more soldiers that are below sergeants that have been to combat(with more of a philosophical side) then I could question is this feeling inside is natural. I really hope this four day weekend at home will help my being instead of leading to more thoughts, is chiseling away at such feelings supposed to feel wrong? But alas, I'm not a shrink, just a tanker so I will do my best to keep in there and do my job the best way I can, take care everyone.

Today is a good day :)