FUNNY STUFF:

1) why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
 - because those men already have boyfriends
2) why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
 - because breasts dont have eyes
3) what do attorneys use for birth control?
 - their personalities
4) what is the difference btwn a gf and a wife?
 - 45 lbs.
5) whats the fastest way to a mans heart?
 - through his chest with a sharp knife
6) how do you get a sweet little 80 year old lady to say the F word?
  get another sweet little 80 year old lady to yell B-I-N-G-O!!
7)WHATS THE DIFFERENCEBTWN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRTALE?
 -A NOTHERN FAIRYTALE BEGINS "ONCE UPON A TIME
 -A SOUTHERN FAIRTALY BEGINS "YA'LL AINT GONNA BELIEVE THIS SHIT..."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black"
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"