Feliz Navidad!

And Happy Holidays.

Eh, I'm so tired right now. And bored. Oh, and slightly cold too. I should really start on that essay for English that's due on the first day that I go back to school. But I don't want to right now. After Christmas. Maybe. Um, yeah. After Christmas. That's if I don't forget. Which I probably will. Hm, I think I'm going to go play GTA:San Andreas on my PS2 now. Poor negleted PS2...think I'll go and pay it a visit. Though I really wish I had a Mortal Combat game to play(Like Mortal Combat:Desception...oooh). I mean, shooting the heads off of hookers on GTA:San Andreas can only be amusing for so long! *coughs*<<;;; >>;;;; Yeah, I don't really do the missions unless I'm really bored. Like now. Hm, I want to play Soul Calliber II or some Final Fantasy game right now though. Passed Kingdom Hearts way too many times to amuse myself by playing it. *sighs* God, I hope my brother gets some good games this year.-.- Hm, well I need to go now. Buh bye!

Peace, love, and whatever comes after that,
                     Stephanie.

There's gonna be a parade by my house today. ^-^ Which means that I'll be gone for a while. Parents are making me go. And after that we're going to the mall do finish up with our Christmas shopping. So, I don't know if I'll be on later today.>.< But Friday is my last day of school. ^-^ Anyways,yeah, I'm leaving soon. I think. Nevermind. I do have to go now.*sighs*Well, buh bye now.

Love you all,
        Stephanie.

I FINISHED WRITING MY LOVE POEM! ^-^ I want to show it to mi amor, but he probably doesn't want to talk to me right now, and I want to show it to Alice...but I think she hates me for god know's why...so...eh...here you go...my first love poem ever....which can also be found on deviantART...and..yeah...

Love Me

Say that you love me
And seal it with a kiss
Wrap me in your arms
Put me in total bliss
Whisper sweet words
And tell me I'm yours
Close yours eyes
As I close mine
We'll be together
Until the end of time
Forget all the fights
The words and the tears
We'll have each other
To push away all our fears
Just say that you love me
Again and again
And I'll say the same
Again and again
Hold me close
Lock your hands in mine
Because baby I told you
We'll be together
Until the end of time

There you go. A love poem by yours truely. I actually like it. ^-^

Writing a love poem...*blinks*DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK! o.O << >> Okay okay, I'm trying to write a love poem. Better?*sulks* Along with another random poem. Oh, the randomness. Whee! I'm hyper! XD *giggles*...*coughs*Ahem...yes...I'll go now...<<;;; >>;;; *goes back to writing*

You know...I should write a poem or a story on how just big of an idiot that I am. I never know when to close my mouth from talking to much or when to open it when I must talk. I should go back to being mute. That way no one would get annoyed, angry, or hurt by me. And vice versa. It worked well before. So it might work now. I don't know...Meh...whatever...I'm just an idiot who can't shut up at times and can't talk at other times. And one who cries and get moody easily. Except now. I'm mostly numb. So...whatever...I'm going now...

Wow...Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is a goddamn good book. I can nearly relate to the main character, Melinda. Except for the whole getting raped by a senior thing.*shudders* But it is a cool book. Made me laugh and feel depressed at the same time. Heh, I sorta feel like crying right now. But not because of the book.*shrugs lightly*I'm also really tired right now...and I actually dressed for gym today. Miracle. But I don't have homework so yay!...Though watching Kathy cry didn't make me feel any better. Seems as though we have more in common than I thought. Except for a few things. Such as...no, I'm not going to say anything. I'll just put myself in an awful mood which is something that I don't want right now. Hm...my grandpa is still in the hospital.And I don't know what else to put except that I'm starting to feel a bit hyper...and I have a popsicle! ^-^ It's starting to get a little hotter here in South Gate(and no doubt other places too)...*sniffles*;-;...Well, that's enough of that...<< >> Buh bye now...

Lots of wuv,
      Stephanie.
     

Some person was trying to hit on me again on elfpack.*shudders*Eh, which is why I hardly login there unless I'm really bored. Like now. But I can't stay on any longer because I'm feeling very tired right now. Haven't gotten much sleep and I swear I feel as if I'm about to pass out during most to all of my classes. Which isn't good. I mean, yeah some of the are pretty damn boring, but not to the point where I'm falling asleep in class. Which isn't smart. Well, I don't actually fall asleep. I just drift in and out of sleep I guess. I should go to bed now. It's almost nine. Oh, and about my picture...there's been a slight delay. I should have it up next week. The batteries died for the camera so I need to buy new ones. Keep in mind that this isn't my camera. It's my friend Stacy's. Plus I just remembered that my parents are having a Carne Asada for my mom's 35'th birthday this weekend so my mom will probably want to put make up on me and stuff, which will probably help in me taking a decent picture. -.- Hm, what else? Oh yeah...this stupid/annoying/ and somewhat amusing conversation that I had at lunch today with Kathy and Stacy.

Kathy:*says out of nowhere*Man, do I feel sorry for the guy who marries Stephanie.
Me:*looks up from my lunch and frowns*
Stacy:*nods*Yeah.
Kathy:He might as well start planning his funeral,god.
Stacy:Violent people these days.
Me:-.-...
Kathy:The day of the wedding I should warn the poor bastard.
Stacy:*laughs*
Kathy:He better not pull a fast one on Stephanie or else.
Me:....(it took me a few moments to understand that she meant cheating...)
Stacy:*glances at me**nods in agreement*
Me:...*forces a laugh and looks down at my food*(I did laugh a couple of times...but eh...I was getting annoyed by this topic)
Kathy:We should warn Matt just in case.
Stacy:*blinks*Hm.
Me:*shakes head slightly*-.-...

And yeah, after that the conversation went onto the bananna that I was eating. Maybe you know why it went to that. It was all Kathy's fault! She's a bigger perv than me. And she's not helping my messed up mind either. >.< *coughs*Yeah...and I took this little "questionair" thing...and yeah...

--Three Things That Scare Me--
01 - Horror flicks
02 - Death
03 - Getting yelled at...

--Three Things I Don't Understand--
01 - Life
02 - People
03 - Myself

--Three Things I'd Like to Learn--
01 - How to play guitar
02 - Another language that isn't Spanish or English.
03 - To play drums as well.

--Three Things I'm Wearing Right Now--
01 - Black jeans
02 - Black shirt
03 - Black(and white)shoes(whee!Converse!)

--Three Things On My Desk--
01 - A book
02 - Coke
03 - Paper(s)

--Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die-
01 - Travel the world
02 - Um, get rich?
03 - Not telling.<< >> Though it doesn involve me amor...^-^

--Three Ways To Describe My Personality--
01 - Sarcastic
02 - Caring?
03 - Quiet

--Three Bad Things About My Personality--
01 - I think wrong..(suicide/perverted things...)
02 - I have a bad temper.
03 - I'm extremely moody.

--Three Parts Of Your Heritage--
01 - Mexican
02 - i.e. Native American?(Indigenous.)
03 - i.e. Spanish(European)

--Three Things I Like About My Body--
01 - Eyes?
02 - Hair?
03 - ...?

--Three Things I Don't Like About My Body--
01 - Everything else not listed!
02 - *points above*
03 -...-.-

--Three Things Most People Don't Know About You--
01 - Now why would I let them know now,eh?
02 - ...
03 - *blinks blankly*

--Three Things I Say Alot--
01 - Leave me the fuck alone...
02 - What?
03 - Nothing....

--Three Places You Want To Go--
01 - Italy
02 - Mexico
03 - Spain

--Three Names That You Go By--
01 - Besides my name?Steph...
02 - Stephy(thankies Alex...^-^)
03 - Baby girl.*giggles*Only Nicole can call me that!

Well, that's it for today. I need to go to sleep now. So...yeah. Nighty night (or good morning/afternoon/evening/etc etc.)

Ciao,
  Stephanie.

Heh, I think I'm making myself look like a loner/outcast during gym. I don't sit with Tamera and Alex anymore because when I do I'm always hearing smacking noises coming from where they are sitting. And I'd rather not look over to see if they're just teasing me or,uh,kissing to put it lightly. So, because I have NO other friends in my gym class, I sit alone. Far from the odd couple and far from anybody else. There are some "rockers" there, but I don't talk to them. And they're usually hanging out on my other side. Far away of course. Anyways, I sit alone minding my own business and as always, reading. I guess they think I'm a loner or something because I don't talk, I'm usually always alone and wearing really dark colors. And reading. Alot. Oh, and casting dark glares at a bunch of people who are always annoying me in some way or another. Especially those skanky weed smokers. *twitches* But those "rockers"(ooh,labels...) are usually glancing over at me, maybe it's because I tend to have my hair,which is not looking close to black, falling into my face and basically hiding my face from view and I don't really have a smile of any sort on my face.O.o Maybe a smirk when someone does something stupid and stuff, but other than that nope, no smile.o.O Oh, the joys of high school. Ah well, I don't really care. As long as I have something to read I am perfectly fine being alone. Just as long as some stupid moron doesn't try talking to me like today. God, he was an idiot. -.- Hm,what else?Ah yes, I had a bit of a breakdown during the bus ride home, gloomy weather, and my grandfather is in the hospital again. Yeah...that's all that I'm gonna put for today...ciao.

Whee!My poem was on Main Street today!I'm so friggin happy! ^.^ *twirls**blinks and stops*<< >>Ahem...anyways.Um,Kathy([Chickiss]) bought me a cookie today! ^.^ But I have to pay her back of course.But oh well.Um,I watched Rosewood today in sixth period.Which is my Culteral Awareness class.Which is the most interesting class I've ever had.Along with it being the most depressing really.But yeah,that movie almost made me cry! ;-; I want to finish watching it though, seeing as the bell rang before the movie was over. Hm,what else?Oh yeah,I might get my hair cut tommorow along with probably going shopping.But my parents told me I could stay home.Or so they said.Hrm,and after a portion of the shopping is done, we're probably going to get our Christmas tree after.My parents want one of those white ones. Which is cool.Whee! I get to buy my Christmas outfit soon! Which will probably freak out most of my family! But hey, seeing as we aren't having tamales this oh so depressing year, I need SOMETHING to amuse me.Ick, my grandpa wants to have rabbit.And my dad said that if he were to give us some,er,rabbit, we probably won't even know what it really is. o.o...THE POOR BUNNY!>.<*pouts*..What else to put?Eh, I don't know...so I'll end this here.Adios!

Con todo mi amor,
       Stephanie.

*twirls*Whee!I'm hyper! ^-^ Which no doubt means that I was/still am depressed.Oh happy joy joy...-.- But anyways!I'm still wondering if I should continue with this,er,love story that I'm writing. I'm having a bit of trouble with it but I really want to go on with it.Though being well, me,I think it sucks. >.< But eh, I don't know. I'll keep trying to perfect it. Anyways, I saw something on Kappu's description that interested me. <<;;; >>;;; Sorry Kappu!;-; So I decieded to take this, quiz type of thing, and this is what I got:

( http://similarminds.com/cattell-16-factor.html )
Warmth |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Intellect ||||||||||||||| 42%
Emotional Stability ||||||||| 26%
Aggressiveness |||||||||||| 34%
Liveliness |||||| 18%
Dutifulness ||||||||||||||| 42%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||| 26%
Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Paranoia ||||||||||||||| 50%
Abstractness ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Introversion ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Anxiety ||||||||||||||||||||| 62%
Openmindedness ||||||||||||||| 46%
Independence |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Perfectionism |||||||||||| 38%
Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%


Warmth:(high score)supportive, comforting 
Intellect:(somewhat low score,I knew it!)instinctive, unstable 
Emotional Stability:(low score)irritable, moody
Aggressiveness:(low score)modest, docile 
Liveliness:(low score)somber, restrained 
Dutifulness:(low score)untraditional, rebellious
Social Assertiveness:(low score)shy, withdrawn 
Sensitivity:(high score)touchy, soft
Paranoia:(in the middle)trusting, easy going/wary, suspicious 
Abstractness:(high score)srange, imaginative 
Introversion:(high score)private, quiet
Anxiety:(high score)fearful, self-doubting
Openmindedness:(somewhat low score/close to high)closeminded, set-in-ways
Independence:(high score)loner, craves solitude
Perfectionism:(low score)disorganized, messy
Tension:(high score)stressed, unsatisfied

Funny though, most of the results do seem like me.Scary. @.@ If you agree or disagree, feel free to explain to me why. x.o Or just tell me your opinion or whatever. o.o Anyways, I'm too cold to write more. My hands are FREEZING! So, adios! ^-^

Mucho's hugs y mucho's kisses,
                Stephanie.

I just wanna run away sometimes...to some place where my tears will be of joy instead of sorrow...I suppose my dreams are the only place that I can go to.Sadly, falling asleep is a challenge when lying awake in the middle of a nightmare.Por favor, salva mi corazon...*hums the rest*Meh...I'm being an idiot again.Ignore me...this physical and emotional pain that I'm feeling isn't really helping much with the situation at hand.*sighs*Man...so much has happend this year...and I don't think I'm handling it all well enough.The death,suicide,cheating,back stabbing,murder,illness,and so much more that has ouccured this year is starting to get to me again.It's not like I've forgotten any of it. It's still all playing vividly in my mind.Haunting me so to speak.But eh...not much I can do...Hm...just another rant from yours truely if you wish to call it that. Now if you'll excuse me...I have myself to cheer up right now.Seeing as I'm about to go and probably get hyper.Meh.*sighs again*Heh...adios.

So yeah,I might be gone most of the day.Going to the doctor with la familia for my kid brother.And then after that we're going out to eat.Probably somewhere in Ontario,California.Duh.And the drive all the way there takes about 45minutes to an hour.So I don't know how long we'll be gone.And on Monday I don't go to school because I need to stay home and take care of Matthew due to the fact that both my grandparents need to go to the doctor/hospital and my parents can't take him with them.So I guess I'll be home alone with him for a while.Hope he likes cereal because I can't cook for shit.Microwave something,yes. Other than that...maybe a boiled egg and a piece of toast? o.O Or maybe a tortilla.I can do that. Or un taco de queso? Yeah, I can so do that.Eheh...<<;;; >>;;; Oh well, I'll see what happens. -.- Though I'll probably be chasing him around the house, slacking off with him on the sofa watching...Nick Jr with him. >.< Only thing that keeps him still for a while.Then again, he likes Ed,Edd,and Eddy. And The Rugrats...Lilo&Stitch is his favorite...so yeah.I'm willing to watch that instead.*blinks innocently**coughs*I need to go now...I think.^-^;;;

Luffs you all,
      Stephanie.

*hums to Saw Red by Sublime*Man, I want to go to KROQ's Almost Acoustic Christmas concert.... I don't care which day either.>.< It would be so friggin' cool...^.^
-The Following Bands are going to be performing at the concert(s)-
(Oh, and the ones with -->*<-- next to them...are some of my favorite bands..*sighs*I wanna go...)
December 11th
*Franz Ferdinand
Interpol
*Jimmy Eat World
*Keane
*The Killers
*Modest Mouse
*Muse
*The Music
The Shins
*Snow Patrol
*Taking Back Sunday

December 12th
*Chevelle
*Good Charlotte
*Green Day
*Hoobastank
*Incubus
*My Chemical Romance
Papa Roach
*Social Distortion
*Sum 41
*The Used
Velvet Revolver

So yeah,wish I could go.Seems pretty obvious,no?v.v Eheh,I keep looking at KROQ's website. ( http://www.kroq.com/kroqnow/kroqnow.html )Anyways,today's Thanksgiving...oh,happy joy joy.Meh.Whatever.Huh...I think I have to go to my grandmother's house later today.Mom's side of the family I mean.I hope they have Tamales..or some pozole.I hate turkey.>< My head hurts...and The Donor by Frank M. Robinson is starting to get interesting...so I'll just go off to read now.

Happy Turkey Day,
         Stephanie.

Heh, my vision is blurry, my hands are shaking, my head hurts...and I feel as if I'm about to pass out.Wonderful,no? Yeah well...life got fucked up again last night. Parents started fighting again...and I didn't get enough sleep or much to eat.*sighs*Meh...whatever...it's not important...I'll survive I guess....

Second entry of the day(er,night)

Ugh,I can't stand people who call for stupid as fuck reasons.Who the fuck wants to do fuckin phone survey's in the mother fuckin evening?!?!?!*twitches*Sorry for the language, but I can't really help it...<< >> Anyways, as you can tell, some bitch ass mofo called a few minutes ago and asked for someone eighteen years or older, which disconnected me seeing as my DSL thing(or whatnot, I don't want to use actual terms right now...-.-) is being stupid for god know's why. >.< So I get disconnected everytime someone uses the phone. Which happens all the friggin' time in this house of mine.*sulks* Anyways,where was I?Ah yes, the phone survey(GAH!I wish my parents would stop smooching.It's creepeh.TMI,eh?o.o;;;)Goddamnit, where was I again?I remember, anyways, the lady called, found out what it was for, walked to where my mom was, handed her the phone and said, "Ama,someone's buggin'"Yeah, my ghetto ass Mexican voice is so kick ass...o.O I don't that's how it even sounds...XD I need to know if I have an accent...I can't tell!>.< It's not like anyone even really calls me unless it's about homework or some guy...-.-*coughsGabycoughs*But yeah...o.o
...I'm kinda sleepy now...@.@*yawns*So I'll stop...^.^;;;

Arrivederci i miei amici,
             Stephy

P.S.Hehe, I'm using [Ramirez]'s nicky for me...^-^ Yes,nicky...o.O Short for nickname...<< >>

P.S.#2 Yes, that was Italian.And I'm not sure if I wrote/typed it right....@.@ Anyways, it's suppose to mean "Good bye my friends."

*stares at last entry*Heh...I'm still hyper! Oh! And I got my grades today! ^-^ And not one is under a C! I feel so smart. XD Anyways, this is what I got.(Keep in mind that an E stands for Excellent and an S stands for Satisfactory)

Health: B E E
Algebra: A S E
Gym: B S S
English: B S S
Science: A E E
Culteral Awareness: B E E

My parents aren't going to kill me now! Because I got good grades. Yay! Well, what else? Um, I have to go to a Quincenerea tommorow. -.- Unless my mom changes her mind or something. But yeah...I have to go to a party.Fun...oh, and if I do go I'll be gone from 5:00pm my time until...later.Way later.*sighs*Hm...my head hurts. And I'm hyper. ^-^ And I feel like singing. And I'm thirsty too.*pouts**blinks*I can't wait for Christmas! I'm gonna be wearing a skirt!Oooh,the world is going to end. O.O That reminds me, I might have my pic up by next week. That's if Stacy let's me borrow her digi cam like she said she would. Anyways, back to the Christmas thing. Should I take a pic of me before I put on the make up or after? Because I'm planning on drawing these lines that come from the side of my eyes to the higher part of my cheeks. And lots of eye liner too. But I don't want to a wear a dress anymore. I'd rather wear a black skirt with fishnets, my black and white high top converse, some kind of band t-shirt and a long sleeved fishnet top under that. But that's just me. Well, I just want to get up and dance right now. I am listening to Reggae, Cumbia, Merengue, and Spanish Pop songs after all. ^-^ Well...I don't know what else to write so, adios!

Peace out(*giggles*),
           Stephanie.

Um...I'm bored...and...this song is on...and I feel like singing along to it...<< >>
K-i-s-s- me...
Uh, and I just wanna make...
Love, love, love ...
Ya, I love it when you say...
K-i-s-s me...
Uh, and I just wanna make...
Love, love, love...

*coughs*<<;;; >>;;; It's called U Make Me Wanna by Jadakiss feat. Mariah Carey. And I really love that song. ^.^;;; And...hrm...awkward...o.O...Er...LOOKIE!! MONKEY! O.O;;;*blinks*No, I'm not on crack...I'm on sugar! Woo! Sugar rush! *twirls*...*blinks and stops*...Stop starring at me! O.O;;; Eh...let's just continue with the rest of this...entry thing. ^-^;;;

Anyways,I almost passed out during science today. v.v And before anyone yells at me or anything...YES I DID GET SOME SLEEP AND I HAVE BEEN EATING!!! -.-I even fell asleep early too! And yet I'm super tired! T.T I've been forcing myself to stay awake, but then my mind begins to wander and I lose concentration on the lesson at hand. Which isn't good. I really need to pay attention in class. Well, maybe only in Science and Algebra. Health,English and Culteral Awareness are simple classes to pass. And not pay much attention. And yes, I am failing gym. So my parents are no doubt going to kill me. I'm just not that interested in gym. I'd rather much be doing something else. Plus, I don't dress. Every goddamn day that I have gym, I'm always in a bad mood and in a weak state of mind. Along with the fact that I'm in a zombie like state at that time. Tamera and Alex always leave me alone. And they don't even say bye. I have very good friends, don't I?I do hope you could tell that I was being sarcastic...o.o Yeah, well...what else? Oh yeah, I have to write another story for English. I'm currently thinking of some kind of plot, so to speak. I have to use the following words in the story though....

-Bliss
-Blithe
-Buoyant
-Complacent
-Convivial
-Delectable
-Ecstasy
-Elated
-Frolicsome
-gala
-Jocund
-Jubilation

Sadly, I know what all those words mean. I need a challenge goddamnit! Though no doubt if I get a challange I'll be wishing that I didn't. But that's me. Man, I better start on that story before it gets even more late. And I'm on the verge of placing my arms on the desk and laying my head on them and falling asleep. But alas, I cannot. I need to do Algebra homework as well and then take a shower.*blinks*Shit! I just rememberd! I have an Algebra test tommorow! And that damn class is going to be TWO FRIGGIN' HOURS LONG! >.< *sighs*Ah well...I better stop now. Hm, Adios! Mucho hugs y mucho kisses! XD *giggles*I'm so hyper!^-^...And lonely....*sniffles*;-;...So buh bye now.*waves*

Lurve you all xoxoxoxo,
     Stephanie.
a.k.a. (this might take a while)Steph, Stephy, Sol, Sunny, Sunflower, Sun child, Lady Sunshine(Don't ask for I do not know) Sunchips(given to me during lunch sometime in 8th grade, go figure.Someone was hungry)Sunshine, Steppy and some others that I can't remember...muchas gracias [cvg54] for all but one of those nicknames. And thank you Alex:[Ramirez] for Stephy...It's so cute...^-^

P.S. The last bit was written/typed out of pure and utter randomness...as was the beginning. << >>

I should really consider getting more than four hours of sleep a night. -.- I swear, in all my classes I feel really drowsy and it's so damn hard to try and keep my eyes open. Espicially when it's a block day and I have to be in a certain class for TWO.DAMN.HOURS. So you can imagine how much that sucks when I'm in a very boring class. That also means more chances of the class getting tests. Alot of them. And I can't fall asleep on the bus because, well, it's not safe.*nods*Nor is it a smart thing to do. Espicially if I'm sitting next to Stacy([Mistress of Darkness]). Which I always am mind you. And Kathy([Chickiss]) is always across or in front of us. That way we can all talk to each other. ^-^ But even then I tend to space out or get drowsy. I do not have hearing problems, I just choose to not pay attention. I had a hearing test...thing...today. And I passed. ^-^ Eheh, it got me out of Algebra so I didn't care. Though I thought the summons meant that I was in trouble or something. Why? I have no clue. Eh, I'm too tired right now to put anything else, so yeah...buh bye now.

Let's see...my siblings woke me up around seven or six this morning. After having gone to sleep around two. It took a while for me to go to sleep. As usual. So right now I'm feeling bitchy. Thanks to my siblings. Who are still fighting like idiots. And Matthew isn't helping either. Maybe he needs a nap or something.Ugh.My head hurts.Which in other words means that I'm feeling sick.Plus I'm really effing cold right now. And for some reason,I'm on the verge of tears. Oh for crying out loud!Meh, no pun intended.*sighs*Fuck this. I'm off. Bye.