*hums*I'm tired. Really tired. Hm, I feel like writing another poem for Valentines Day. Even though I HATE the holiday. But what will I do with the poem? Hrm...I'll give it to mi amor then.^-^ If I write it that is. But if I do that, then I'll have to write some kind of poem for all my friends. Ooh, another challenge. ^.^

OMFG! XD I just finished listening to Addictive by Truth Hurts feat. Rakim, and dear god...I can't believe I used to sing along to this song so much. I mean, yeah I could understand some of what the lyrics meant, but...now...ha! I can't stop laughing. Okay, I was reading a Stephen King book when it came on. I would've been reading Carrie, Insomnia, Christine, etc etc but I couldn't make up my mind in the library, so I had to close my eyes and, well...pick. I landed on It(The only clown that Nancy, my "heavily medicated for your protection" friend, isn't scared of. >> <<) and yeah. I'm currently reading that book. It's good. I just haven't had much time today to read much. Anyways...what was I saying? O.o Oh, yeah...the song. Um....yeah, it doesn't sound right in my mind.Whee...<<;;; Well, look. o.o

{Verse 1: Truth Hurts}
He breaks, me down, he builds, me up
He fills, my cup, I like, it rough
We fuss, we brawl, we rise, we fall
He comes, in late, but it's, ok
He do, I do, he knows, the rules
He takes care of home, though he's not alone
I'm on, his knee, he keeps, me clean
And gives, me things, he makes, me scream

{Chorus: Truth Hurts}
He's so contagious, returns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady

{Verse 2: Truth Hurts}
Oh! Tonight he's waitin, and I ain't complainin
I'm entertainin, my number one fan
My back is achin, from our love makin
Oh yes I'm takin, ain't no use in fakin
My ups, my downs, my high and my lows
From head to toe, he makes me glow
He hits the spot, he makes me hot
I'm all that he's got, and he's all that I got

Eh, yeah.-.- Now it won't get out of my head. Nooo...! *sulks**blinks*My dad has a new memory card for the digi cam...I wonder if he'll put the program up now...>> And if not, too bad! I AM NOT putting back my first pick up.-.- I lookeh fugleh. Anyways, what else? Oh yeah, on Sunday we're having Matthew's birthday! And he can say "Love You" now! ^-^ Here is the list of all the words he can say now:
-Mine
-Bye
-Hi
-Mommy
-Papa
-Cookie
-Love You (Which tends to sound like "Lub You" and "Bab ou" *giggles*)
-Comida(Said by him as 'mida)
-Baby
-Aw, man
-All Right(Said "Aw righ'," yes, righ')
-Matt
-Matthew(somewhat)
-Gracias(again, somewhat)
-Niña
-Niño
-Peter(my kid brother's name)
-Car

And a bunch of other things that I can't remember right now...I ♥ Matthew! And no worries, I ♥ you all as well. (alt codes)^-^ Though mi amor, in a much different sense. ^.~ Whee! *blinks*Ahem...

*yawns*So tired...I should go now. Well, adios!

Con tutto l'mio amore(Italian for: With All My Love),
                      Stephanie.

P.S. You by Allen Anthony is a PERVETED song. O.O(With some of the things said in the lyrics that is.) Dear god...wow...um...o.o Jebus...( http://www.char-star.com/rb/y/you_aa.html )

I wrote a new love poem! ^-^ Still needs a bit more work though. It's a bit choppy.-.- Anyways, it's on deviantART now.( http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14167114/ ) It's funny, I wasn't even listening to any love songs. O.o The idea just popped into my head. Well, here ya go. My newest love poem...thingeh.

Standing Still

With three little words
You swept me far away
Into this land of fantasy
Of love's beginning and misery's decay.

Whenever in your arms
I feel as if,
Time is standing still.
Whenever your lips brush against mine
I lose my nerve,
My sanity,
My will.

Time stands still
Every time I'm with you
Your soul and mine
Whisper soft words to our mind
'I love you.'
They say
Making our love,
Last another day.

Never again will we be lost,
From each other
For our love will last forever
Whatever the cost....
Sweet and innocent is what it is
Just like your lips against mine
In such a gentle kiss.

Time is standing still again
Our love has yet to reach it's end
So standing still in time
We say our vows of love
And smile...
For we know
That when time stands still
There is no time to cry,
For our love...shall never die.
Copyright©2005 Stephanie Solis

So...what do you think? >> << No need to tell me, I just got bored. Well, I'm sleepy so I'm off to bed. Nighty night my pretties! Or...whatever time it is. O.o

With lots of love,
          Steph. 

God only know's how many times I've cried. And today, he can just add another day. Yes, I cried. I cried a lot. And I don't want anyone bitching to me about it anymore. I'm sick and tired of it. Just like you're all sick and tired of me doing this bullshit over and over again. I don't care what happens to me anymore. That doesn't mean that I want to die or just end it. No, that would be selfish of me. You all know that sooner or later I'll be alright again. That's just how it is. But I really don't care about myself anymore. The only thing left that I'll ever care about are those who are close to me. Hopefully, they all know who they are. I don't know what the point in writing this is. I'm not going to even put down what probably caused me to write this. I can't express myself much besides with this usual crap. So I'll stop now.

Love you all,
       Stephanie.

Whee! Today is my baby brother's second birthday. ^-^ Happy Birthday Matthew! Though I'm not sure when the party is going to be. And I'm also not sure if I really want anything for my birthday now. If I go to Mexico, my parents will still fight. But this time, I won't be in the comforts of my home. And if we have my Quinceneara...the same thing will occur. Except, I'll be with my friends and family...and...blegh. I'd rather not have that happen in front of them. Well, I don't know what I'm going to pick. Possibly Mexico. Even though I'll be gone for two or more weeks. Don't miss me too much! Please note that I'm being sarcastic.-.- Anyways, enough of that. Hm...ah yes.

Happy Birthday Matthew!

Let's see...I got to school at around nine today.*nods*My bus didn't come. XD Me, Stacy, and a bunch of other people who ride the bus had to wait from 6:45am until 8:20am to get a ride from another bus to get to school. It was hilarious! Well, for me.*shrugs* Hm, what else? Hrm, I had an alright day I guess. Though I'm still a bit stressed about all the work that I have to do. Oh, and I guess I'm not having a Quinceneara after all. I don't want to have one. Well, I do in a way. But..*shrugs again* I don't know. My parents and I talked about it. If somewhat. And we have decieded(for now) to go to Mexico for my birthday. Either that, or Orlando, Florida. Basically somewhere in the states. And I wanted to go to Italy or somewhere in Europe...;-; *shakes head*As I was saying, Mexico seems a bit better because my parents haven't been there since they were, a bit older than me really. And they miss home. Even though they came from Mexico when they were fairly young. SO THEY KNOW ENGLISH! -.- They taught me how to curse. <<;;; >>;;; Well, besides t.v and such. >> << But, the thing is that I might be gone for a while. Not as if anyone will really miss me much. XD *blinks*Ahem...what else? Oh yeah, I'm tired, and um, yeah. I have work to do. But I'll be here Monday! Whee! But then I go back on Tuesday...-.- I miss staying home for two months during the winter. Sorta. Except for the not having anyone to talk to because they're all at school part. >.< *yawns*...-.- I'm bored now, so I'll end this entry thingeh here...

Adeus(Portuguese for good bye...I think),
                   Stephanie.

P.S. I don't feel like checking for spelling errors. So nyah. Leave me alone. >>;;;

Well, today I officially started school again. Even though I should've started yesterday. But my parents were stuck in Vegas and my uncle had to take my grandfather for his radiation thing. All in all, I had no ride to school. And plus, it was raining. Hard. Thus making it impossible to get to school. So yeah, my first day back. I can't remember much really. I didn't get much sleep so I was pretty much a walking zombie at school. @.@ But...NO HOMEWORK! And we got out early today. XD But it was so windy. My hair kept getting messy at school. >.< But this pretty nice "rocker" like girl talked to me. We talked about...Chobits. She's a bit hyper, that one. ^.^;;; But she seems nice enough. I still hate gym though. And Kathy isn't going back anymore. ;-; *sighs* Ah well..that's life. Um, what else? Ah yes, I don't feel well. I'm really tired and I felt a bit dizzy earlier. Blegh. Hm, that's enough for now. So, adios.

Hasta mas adelante(until later),
               Stephanie.

P.S. I don't feel like checking for any spelling errors and stuff right now, so deal with it. >>;;;

*mutters darkly*I'm so cold... in so much anguish... yet... whatever. Ho hum... I wrote a new poem. A new twisted as hell poem which I have titled Demon Lover. And no, it has nothing to do on loving demons. ._.;;; Just... see for yourself. IT'S SO CREEPEH! *laughs ebilly*...I mean...evilly...or whatever. >>;;; *dives under blanket and hides*SHOO! <<;;;

Here's the link thingeh--> http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/13873121/

*reads poem over again*...Yeah, it's odd. O_O;;;.... -.- I don't know what's wrong with me. And don't worry! I'll be fine! Please don't get mad at me and make me feel worse about myself. *twitches slightly* Forget I said anything. Gah, my hands are freezing. I need to go...*blinks* DONUT!!!! Maybe my mood will improve...DONUTS! Mmm...donut. >>;;; Now I'm in any angsty hyperactive mood. Creepeh...O.o But yeah, I gotta go now...Oh, and [_Shadow_] I know you're reading this...LEAVE ME ALONE! You don't scare me. And there's no way in hell that I would allow the things that you said to me to take over my mind. So nyah! You stupid fucktard. *twitches again* Ignore that too. So...nyah! I am soooo out of it. Damn n00bs bug me to much. <<;;; Hm...DONUT! *huggles it*MY DONUT! MINEMINEMINE! It's so...donutty damnit! Heh...nutty...I said nut...*coughs and blushes greatly*Stop looking at me!!!! >>;;;...Bye now.

Until next time my pretties,
              Stephanie.

P.S. NICOLE IS MY SEXEH BIZNITCH! >>;;; AND VICE VERSA! XD

Ozomatli is soooo cool! ^-^ And I was looking around their website and...*sighs quietly* I can listen to some of their songs!!!! Though I don't think I can listen to Love and Hope. >.< Which is one of my favorite songs. T.T But I can listen to Believe, Saturday Night, Street Signs and Te Estoy Buscando. ( http://search.yahoo.com/bin/search?p=Ozomatli )

And I found the lyrics for Love and Hope. ^-^ Well, part of it anyways. >>;;;

Verse 1
A child looks up into my eyes nothing to say
An open hand with scars can't hide the pain away
What I can do is not enough to help him grow.
How can I fulfill his needs? Embrace his soul!
The hope deep in his eyes are dreams he must let fly.
So sing this song with me, a hopeful melody.

Chorus:
Just raise your head up and stand up no fear in your eyes
Tell me, "Love and hope never die!"
So raise your head up and stand up no reason to cry
'cuz your heart and soul will survive.

Verse 2:
The child struggled to survive know he's a man,
With children of his own he does the best one can.
Tries to live with love and not let sorrow grow,
Even though he barely reaps all that he sows.
The hope deep in his eyes are dreams he must let fly.
So sing this song with me, a hopeful melody.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah...I love Ozomatli. They're so cool. :3 And I want all of their CD's. >.< (Ozomatli, Embrace The Chaos, Coming Up, and Stree Signs.) Oooh! And the lyrics for Sturday Night are pretty cool too. To me anyways. <<;;;

Chorus: Dip, dive, socialize, get ready for the Saturday nite

Verse 1
Imagine wakin up solidarity is evident
Harmony rules time is irrelevant
People to places the message basic from raised fist to sit in resist to change shit
Peep this scenario to the future bro
2020 and some number of year ago
People rose up governments froze up
World wide block party everybody shows up
Up on rooftops, ghettos and hotspots
People celebrate no more souls rot
No more bloodshed over false deficit
Even hip hop gets a fuckin face lift
The latest fashion, stock markets crash in
It’s Saturday time to get the party crackin
If the time and the day is right
The revolution will begin this Saturday nite

Chorus: dip, dive, socialize, get ready for the Saturday nite


Verse 2
Futuristic I'm killin em with every synonym
Sending em back with syllable venom up in em
Too terrific epitome of a pendulum
Digital rap got animal stamina in him
Son your soul and back bone where the clap come from
Action jackson matter of fact we...
Move you from the front to the back see
Plug us up and then bump this new fat beat
When this drops stores out of stock on me
Shop til you drop homie that's not me
Rush and attack from the back on 3
Stop on beat, shout world peace
Live from the block love peace oh please
We don't need bouncers or police
It’s Saturday night its nothing better
Spread the word that we coming together so come and help me now!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah well...um...I have nothing to say about today so far so, um...bye.

Whee...I'm so happy right now. I got a tamale. =3 It was so good. ^^

And of course, Matt and Nicole called today. Yayness. ^-^ It was so cool. I got to talk to my love and my mommeh babeh. Nicole sounds pretty! And she is! ^-^ That made my day. ^.^ And I gave Casey a new nickname; Kappu-san. ^.~

Though I got two messages with some jerkoff's asking me if I wanted to cyber once I came back online. -.- Gah! Stupid fucktards. >.< And on elfpack...THREE people asked me that. Two guys and one "girl." Who no doubt is probably some deperate guy pretending to be a girl. As always. But I must say my Elfpack house is quite nice. Makes me seem smart. XD

Uhm...what else? I don't know. *shrugs* I'm tired and cold. And I don't have much time left on. Ugh. Oh yeah, I think I have two stalkers now. XD Not exactly, but they know where I live now. Cool. ^.~ *giggles* XD Kind of odd really. Yet amusing for some reason. o.O

Anyways, I need to go now. Soooo...adios!

Feliz Año Nuevo,
      Stephanie

Feliz Navidad!

And Happy Holidays.

Eh, I'm so tired right now. And bored. Oh, and slightly cold too. I should really start on that essay for English that's due on the first day that I go back to school. But I don't want to right now. After Christmas. Maybe. Um, yeah. After Christmas. That's if I don't forget. Which I probably will. Hm, I think I'm going to go play GTA:San Andreas on my PS2 now. Poor negleted PS2...think I'll go and pay it a visit. Though I really wish I had a Mortal Combat game to play(Like Mortal Combat:Desception...oooh). I mean, shooting the heads off of hookers on GTA:San Andreas can only be amusing for so long! *coughs*<<;;; >>;;;; Yeah, I don't really do the missions unless I'm really bored. Like now. Hm, I want to play Soul Calliber II or some Final Fantasy game right now though. Passed Kingdom Hearts way too many times to amuse myself by playing it. *sighs* God, I hope my brother gets some good games this year.-.- Hm, well I need to go now. Buh bye!

Peace, love, and whatever comes after that,
                     Stephanie.

There's gonna be a parade by my house today. ^-^ Which means that I'll be gone for a while. Parents are making me go. And after that we're going to the mall do finish up with our Christmas shopping. So, I don't know if I'll be on later today.>.< But Friday is my last day of school. ^-^ Anyways,yeah, I'm leaving soon. I think. Nevermind. I do have to go now.*sighs*Well, buh bye now.

Love you all,
        Stephanie.

I FINISHED WRITING MY LOVE POEM! ^-^ I want to show it to mi amor, but he probably doesn't want to talk to me right now, and I want to show it to Alice...but I think she hates me for god know's why...so...eh...here you go...my first love poem ever....which can also be found on deviantART...and..yeah...

Love Me

Say that you love me
And seal it with a kiss
Wrap me in your arms
Put me in total bliss
Whisper sweet words
And tell me I'm yours
Close yours eyes
As I close mine
We'll be together
Until the end of time
Forget all the fights
The words and the tears
We'll have each other
To push away all our fears
Just say that you love me
Again and again
And I'll say the same
Again and again
Hold me close
Lock your hands in mine
Because baby I told you
We'll be together
Until the end of time

There you go. A love poem by yours truely. I actually like it. ^-^

Writing a love poem...*blinks*DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK! o.O << >> Okay okay, I'm trying to write a love poem. Better?*sulks* Along with another random poem. Oh, the randomness. Whee! I'm hyper! XD *giggles*...*coughs*Ahem...yes...I'll go now...<<;;; >>;;; *goes back to writing*

You know...I should write a poem or a story on how just big of an idiot that I am. I never know when to close my mouth from talking to much or when to open it when I must talk. I should go back to being mute. That way no one would get annoyed, angry, or hurt by me. And vice versa. It worked well before. So it might work now. I don't know...Meh...whatever...I'm just an idiot who can't shut up at times and can't talk at other times. And one who cries and get moody easily. Except now. I'm mostly numb. So...whatever...I'm going now...

Wow...Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson is a goddamn good book. I can nearly relate to the main character, Melinda. Except for the whole getting raped by a senior thing.*shudders* But it is a cool book. Made me laugh and feel depressed at the same time. Heh, I sorta feel like crying right now. But not because of the book.*shrugs lightly*I'm also really tired right now...and I actually dressed for gym today. Miracle. But I don't have homework so yay!...Though watching Kathy cry didn't make me feel any better. Seems as though we have more in common than I thought. Except for a few things. Such as...no, I'm not going to say anything. I'll just put myself in an awful mood which is something that I don't want right now. Hm...my grandpa is still in the hospital.And I don't know what else to put except that I'm starting to feel a bit hyper...and I have a popsicle! ^-^ It's starting to get a little hotter here in South Gate(and no doubt other places too)...*sniffles*;-;...Well, that's enough of that...<< >> Buh bye now...

Lots of wuv,
      Stephanie.
     

Some person was trying to hit on me again on elfpack.*shudders*Eh, which is why I hardly login there unless I'm really bored. Like now. But I can't stay on any longer because I'm feeling very tired right now. Haven't gotten much sleep and I swear I feel as if I'm about to pass out during most to all of my classes. Which isn't good. I mean, yeah some of the are pretty damn boring, but not to the point where I'm falling asleep in class. Which isn't smart. Well, I don't actually fall asleep. I just drift in and out of sleep I guess. I should go to bed now. It's almost nine. Oh, and about my picture...there's been a slight delay. I should have it up next week. The batteries died for the camera so I need to buy new ones. Keep in mind that this isn't my camera. It's my friend Stacy's. Plus I just remembered that my parents are having a Carne Asada for my mom's 35'th birthday this weekend so my mom will probably want to put make up on me and stuff, which will probably help in me taking a decent picture. -.- Hm, what else? Oh yeah...this stupid/annoying/ and somewhat amusing conversation that I had at lunch today with Kathy and Stacy.

Kathy:*says out of nowhere*Man, do I feel sorry for the guy who marries Stephanie.
Me:*looks up from my lunch and frowns*
Stacy:*nods*Yeah.
Kathy:He might as well start planning his funeral,god.
Stacy:Violent people these days.
Me:-.-...
Kathy:The day of the wedding I should warn the poor bastard.
Stacy:*laughs*
Kathy:He better not pull a fast one on Stephanie or else.
Me:....(it took me a few moments to understand that she meant cheating...)
Stacy:*glances at me**nods in agreement*
Me:...*forces a laugh and looks down at my food*(I did laugh a couple of times...but eh...I was getting annoyed by this topic)
Kathy:We should warn Matt just in case.
Stacy:*blinks*Hm.
Me:*shakes head slightly*-.-...

And yeah, after that the conversation went onto the bananna that I was eating. Maybe you know why it went to that. It was all Kathy's fault! She's a bigger perv than me. And she's not helping my messed up mind either. >.< *coughs*Yeah...and I took this little "questionair" thing...and yeah...

--Three Things That Scare Me--
01 - Horror flicks
02 - Death
03 - Getting yelled at...

--Three Things I Don't Understand--
01 - Life
02 - People
03 - Myself

--Three Things I'd Like to Learn--
01 - How to play guitar
02 - Another language that isn't Spanish or English.
03 - To play drums as well.

--Three Things I'm Wearing Right Now--
01 - Black jeans
02 - Black shirt
03 - Black(and white)shoes(whee!Converse!)

--Three Things On My Desk--
01 - A book
02 - Coke
03 - Paper(s)

--Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die-
01 - Travel the world
02 - Um, get rich?
03 - Not telling.<< >> Though it doesn involve me amor...^-^

--Three Ways To Describe My Personality--
01 - Sarcastic
02 - Caring?
03 - Quiet

--Three Bad Things About My Personality--
01 - I think wrong..(suicide/perverted things...)
02 - I have a bad temper.
03 - I'm extremely moody.

--Three Parts Of Your Heritage--
01 - Mexican
02 - i.e. Native American?(Indigenous.)
03 - i.e. Spanish(European)

--Three Things I Like About My Body--
01 - Eyes?
02 - Hair?
03 - ...?

--Three Things I Don't Like About My Body--
01 - Everything else not listed!
02 - *points above*
03 -...-.-

--Three Things Most People Don't Know About You--
01 - Now why would I let them know now,eh?
02 - ...
03 - *blinks blankly*

--Three Things I Say Alot--
01 - Leave me the fuck alone...
02 - What?
03 - Nothing....

--Three Places You Want To Go--
01 - Italy
02 - Mexico
03 - Spain

--Three Names That You Go By--
01 - Besides my name?Steph...
02 - Stephy(thankies Alex...^-^)
03 - Baby girl.*giggles*Only Nicole can call me that!

Well, that's it for today. I need to go to sleep now. So...yeah. Nighty night (or good morning/afternoon/evening/etc etc.)

Ciao,
  Stephanie.

Heh, I think I'm making myself look like a loner/outcast during gym. I don't sit with Tamera and Alex anymore because when I do I'm always hearing smacking noises coming from where they are sitting. And I'd rather not look over to see if they're just teasing me or,uh,kissing to put it lightly. So, because I have NO other friends in my gym class, I sit alone. Far from the odd couple and far from anybody else. There are some "rockers" there, but I don't talk to them. And they're usually hanging out on my other side. Far away of course. Anyways, I sit alone minding my own business and as always, reading. I guess they think I'm a loner or something because I don't talk, I'm usually always alone and wearing really dark colors. And reading. Alot. Oh, and casting dark glares at a bunch of people who are always annoying me in some way or another. Especially those skanky weed smokers. *twitches* But those "rockers"(ooh,labels...) are usually glancing over at me, maybe it's because I tend to have my hair,which is not looking close to black, falling into my face and basically hiding my face from view and I don't really have a smile of any sort on my face.O.o Maybe a smirk when someone does something stupid and stuff, but other than that nope, no smile.o.O Oh, the joys of high school. Ah well, I don't really care. As long as I have something to read I am perfectly fine being alone. Just as long as some stupid moron doesn't try talking to me like today. God, he was an idiot. -.- Hm,what else?Ah yes, I had a bit of a breakdown during the bus ride home, gloomy weather, and my grandfather is in the hospital again. Yeah...that's all that I'm gonna put for today...ciao.

Whee!My poem was on Main Street today!I'm so friggin happy! ^.^ *twirls**blinks and stops*<< >>Ahem...anyways.Um,Kathy([Chickiss]) bought me a cookie today! ^.^ But I have to pay her back of course.But oh well.Um,I watched Rosewood today in sixth period.Which is my Culteral Awareness class.Which is the most interesting class I've ever had.Along with it being the most depressing really.But yeah,that movie almost made me cry! ;-; I want to finish watching it though, seeing as the bell rang before the movie was over. Hm,what else?Oh yeah,I might get my hair cut tommorow along with probably going shopping.But my parents told me I could stay home.Or so they said.Hrm,and after a portion of the shopping is done, we're probably going to get our Christmas tree after.My parents want one of those white ones. Which is cool.Whee! I get to buy my Christmas outfit soon! Which will probably freak out most of my family! But hey, seeing as we aren't having tamales this oh so depressing year, I need SOMETHING to amuse me.Ick, my grandpa wants to have rabbit.And my dad said that if he were to give us some,er,rabbit, we probably won't even know what it really is. o.o...THE POOR BUNNY!>.<*pouts*..What else to put?Eh, I don't know...so I'll end this here.Adios!

Con todo mi amor,
       Stephanie.