Blegh...I don't feel good. And my head hurts too. And I'm tired beyond belief. @.@ Walking home was a bitch too. El dolor...ugh. Um, anyways. What else? I don't know. I can't think straight right now. No pun intended. Heh. >> << *blinks*Oh! Some relatives of mine from Mexico are here today. Old relatives though. ^.^;;;

*yawns and stretches*I think I'm gonna ask my dad for a digital camera for my birthday. I love photography! ^-^ Maybe an ipod too. >>;;; Hey, I'm not having that huge party so why not? And I doubt that I'm still going to Mexico by the look of things. So...? C'mon. If I get a camera, you get a new pic of me! XD I'm so fugly. @.@ Eheh. Anywho...

Oh god, I'm feeling hyper for no reason. I hope I don't start feeling moody once it fades. x.x Jesus Christ...And a small part of an Ozomatli song is stuck in my head. *points down*

Cada-cada día yo veo la destruccion,
Cada-cada día yo veo la maldicion...
(Translation: "Each day I see the destruction, each day I see the malice-damnation")

Yeah...o.o...Ooh! *blinks*I have no idea...Um, I don't really know what else to put. I'm too tired to think. x.x Bye now!

P.S. Someone tell Michael to stop running his fingers through my hair everytime he passes by me in Algebra. It feels nice...But...EW! *blinks*Oh wait...you don't know him. I'm doomeded. -.- Yes...doomeded. O.o

I'm so damn tired. *falls over*x.x Didn't get much sleep last night. Blegh. And I think my mom left. I don't know for sure. But I heard her leave last night. Heh. C'est la vie.

Anyways, today was alright. I was, and still am as you can see, too tired to really pay much attention in any of my classes. And I think I start on my first art "project" thing tomorrow. I'm not sure. I can't remember that well. Hm, there were some funny moments at school today. As always. Far too many for me to remember though. Typical.

What else? Oh, yeah. I finished the poem that I said I was going to write for Matt. Turned out pretty good really. Though I think it still needs to be fixed up a bit more. I'm never fully satisfied with any of my poems. It's a shame really. Heh.

Speaking of poems, I also wrote another poem apart from that one. Angsty in a way. Wasn't in a good mood. My head was hurting and there was, well still is, too much going on at home. Bleh. *yawns and rubs her eyes*I need a nap. *hugs plushie and pouts*So tired...

Ugh, I don't feel like putting anything else at the moment. @.@ So, buh bye now.

Vedali piu successivamente,
                 Stephanie.

P.S. That was "See you later" in Italian.

So, um, yeah. I started a new semester today. Wow. >> << Heh, yeah. I got three new classes today. But everything is so mixed up now. @.@

-First Period: Life Skills        
-Second Period: Algebra        
-Third Period: Art           
-Fourth Period: English        
-Fifth Period: Science        
-Sixth Period: Gym         

Um, yeah. I have art now. O.o I get to learn how to draw. XD Blegh, I'm hungry. @.@ And look. I need to get art supplies now. O.o

-Shoe box for supplies
-2 Pencils
-2 Ball-point pens(One black and one blue)
-2 fine tip, black felt markers.
-12" ruler.
-Pair of scissor
-Set of watercolors.
-Set of Colored pencils
-Sketchbook
-Magazine(to cut up for projects)
-Plastic scoop
-Pencil Sharpener
-Plastic eraser

That is a lot of stuff. @.@ And I need to get it by Monday, I think. Ew, Valentines Day. The pure and utter HORROR! o.o

Anyways, today was alright. Not the best but not the worst either. I got out early today, so heh. And, no homework! Woo! I have time to work on Matt's poem now. Yay! ^-^ So far, I only have seven lines. Oh, wow. Impressive. -.-

Ugh, I'm thirsty. And tired. And I don't feel like typing anymore about today right now. Not much to say. So, buh bye now.

Arrivederci,
      Stephanie.

Ignore that part about taking a nap in my last entry.-.- No such luck. Parents are fighting, and my mom ran off somewhere.

Eh, yeah. *blinks*New version of I Will Survive? Nice...XD *giggles*My brother and I were watching some flash movies earlier. So friggin' funny. Mack Daddy Luigi! XD *coughs*Sorry...I'm hyper. For now anyways. ^.^;;;

I'm still tired though. I really do need a nap. But, it's kind of hard to take one at this time of day. And I'm also cold. -.- Ick, what time is it right now? *blinks*It's not even 2:30pm yet. Today is going by too slow. I'm so alone. O.o I never felt so alone in my entire life. Well, I have. But that's not important. Ick, my hands are freezing. And I don't feel like writing/typing anymore. So, bye now.

Hasta Luego,
      Stephanie.

-.-I still need to finish Matt's poem. I only have...what? Five lines so far? >.< God, I can't seem to write much at the moment. I believe my non-angsty poeticness was drained due to the poems that I wrote as Christmas gifts. Wrote one somewhat depressing poem about a day or ago. Can't remember. It's on deviantART, but I don't feel like checking. Yeah, I'm lazy. So what?

I'm cold. And I want to stay home on Valentines Day. I hope I get sick. Again. Yeah. >> << But I don't hate it enough to not give Matt that poem thing. If I have time, I may write a few more for a few more people. Friendship poems, I guess. Ick, Matthew just tried giving me some of his orange. After he sneezed on it. >.< Well, that's nice.-.- Sharing is caring, I suppose. I think I care too much. Some people still owe me money! >.< *sniffs*-.-

Blegh, I'm still sick. Though for now, my throat doesn't hurt. Yay! And no fever. I think. O.O;;; I hope so anyways. Hum, a lot of Heavy Metal and Goth music is playing on my Launch radio. O.o Where's my reggaeton?! >.<

I'm tired again.

For some reason, I want a present. O.o I don't know why. I hardly get presents unless it's Christmas or my birthday. And throughout the rest of the year, I'm usually the one giving the presents. o.O Not getting them. Huh, odd. Ah well...must be the whole me being sick thing. I hope. o.o


I think I'll go take a nap. I'm tired. I've been on since 9:10am and it's now 11:30am...I'll come back after my nap. If I take it that is. So, buh bye now.

Until later,
    Stephanie.

P.S
-If there are ANY spelling mistakes and such, I don't care.-.- I'm half-asleep as I write this, so nyah. Adios.

Gah. I am sick. I do have a cold. And the damn medicine didn't work. >.< My throat is sore, my nose is stuffy, I keep coughing and sneezing so much that my eyes start to water, and I sound funny. -.- Last night my dad told me to take some of my mom's cold and flu pills, I was suppose to take the Day Time pills, but it was nine o'clock pm, so I was like, "Eh, what the fuck. I'll take the blue ones." So, I took it. My dad asked which pill I took, I said the blue ones. And he said that I better get settled in bed because that blue pill is strong enough to make me crash out. And...that was a lie. I didn't fall asleep until midnight. Damn pill.-.- I was hoping that my dad was right. I need sleep. But, alas, no.

So, yeah. I'm not in a very good mood right now. I'm sick and sleep deprived and more family problems. Whee. *sniffles*-.-;;;

I look more pale than normal too. @.@ Damn. Ah well, I'm just gonna relax for now. If I can, that is. And listen to some music or watch tv. Maybe I'll finish reading IT. I'm near the last few pages actually. Well, hopefully nobody accidently ruins whatever is left of my good mood. As always.-.-

Ugh, I better go take some more medicine. And grab a sweater while I'm at it. So, yeah. That's it for now. Adios.

-
Stephanie.

I guess today was okay. Yeah. I guess. For now anyways. Passed my science final. Only missed one question. Amazing really...seeing as I didn't study at all. My gym final? Hm. *shrugs*Looks like nobody had to do anything really. The track was being fixed, so there was a change of plans. Looks like I should've dressed for gym. Heh. Irony? Karma? Whatever.

Oh, and I don't know if I'll be on anytime on Sunday. Maybe late in the afternoon. But I'm not sure. My dad said that we might be going to the mountains. To see that white stuff. No, not cocain. Snow. o.O Well, that's if there's any of course. Maybe there will be snow. Or maybe not. You never know.

On a lighter note, no school on Monday for me. Have I already stated this before? I have? Well, too bad. I just stated it again. >> <<

Eh, I think I'm getting sick.-.- I've been sneezing and a coughing a lot. No one give me any mind. I was bound to get sick sooner or later. Blegh. Sore throats suck. My voice sounds funny. Well, more than usual anyways.

I'm feeling moodyish now.>.< Damnit. I knew I shouldn't have gotten hyper. Especially if I am getting sick. Bad, bad, bad.-.-

Sing me something soft, sad and delicate, or loud and out of key, sing me anything...*hums the rest**sighs softly*I can't get those lyrics out of my head. Or the lyrics to Slow Hands by Interpol.*sighs*Just had a mild coughing fit. Blegh.

I better go back to my project now. I don't want to stay up light working on it. So, yeah. I guess I better stop with this today. I feel as if there was more that I wanted to write/type. But I can't think of anything. Typical Steph. So forgetful.-.- Meh. My lips hurt. >.< I've been biting them too much. Anyways, yeah. Bye now.

Slow Hands by Interpol

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
We slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself now

I submit my incentive is romance
I watched the pole dance of the stars
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars
But I am married to your charms & grace
I just go crazy like the good old days
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you

Can you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
Yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
Killer, for hire you know not yourself

We spies
We slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
We retire like nobody else
We spies
Intimate slow hands killer
For hire you know not yourself
We spies
Intimate slow hands
You let the face slap around herself

Whee! It's almost the fourth! ^-^ *coughs*Yeah...>> <<

<< >> Well, today was the first day of Finals. Wasn't so bad. I think I did pretty good on them. Especially my final for English. It was so easy. And I know for sure that I'm not going to do the final for Gym. Ankle still hurts. Though I'm a bit anxious about my finals for Science, Algebra, and Cultural Awareness. Hum...I have a new favorite song! ^-^ I can't get it out of my head. @.@

Existentialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run

When the sun came up
We were sleeping in
Sunk inside our blankets
Sprawled across the bed
And we were dreaming

There are moments when

When I know it
And the world revolves around us
And we're keeping it
Keeping it all going
This delicate balance
Vulnerable, all knowing

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would kill for this

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would, you would

Sing me something soft
Sad and delicate
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything

We're glad for what we've got
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out

Right in front of us

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would, you would
(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would

Sing me something soft
Sad and delicate
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything...


I love that song. :3 *blinks*Ugh...I should go back to my project now. Not much to say about today. It's been alright so far. And, yeah...I should stop with this and start on my project again. Adios for now.

Fino A Piu successivamente(Italian for Until Later, I think anyways),
                                               Stephanie.

Well, today was alright I guess. Amusing in some ways too. And annoying as well. *nods* I have candy! ^-^ Sour candy though. @.@ Anyways, where was I? >> << Um...candy is making my stomach hurt. @.@ Gah...anyways. This is why today was amusing and annoying.( Like any of you care. XD ):

During Third Period
Me:*leans back against a wall and waits for Stacy to come out of the locker room*
Jose:*comes over to where I am*I'm mad.-.- (And he was standing right in front of me while I was leaning against the wall of the corner...so...it must've looked odd.-.-)
Me:*blinks*Why? Oh, don't tell me. No weed?
Jose:*nods*All the guys who sell it don't have any today. Damn it! >.<
Me:Heh...
Jose:I think it's a sign from God. "Stop doing weed, Jose!"
Me:O.oOh? Like you're going to listen.
Jose:What am I? A pothead?
Me:Well...
Stacy:*walks over to where we are*
Jose:*turns to Stacy*I'm mad.
Stacy:Why?
Me:He can't smoke weed today.
Jose:I AM NOT A POTHEAD!!!
Me and Stacy:*glance over at each other*
Jose:-.- Now I'm stuck with five dollars, a key chain pipe, and a lighter.
Stacy:O.o
Me:o.o
Jose:Hm, maybe I can smoke the five bucks...XD
Me:....o.o
Stacy:Right...o.o
Jose:I'm going to quit...tomorrow.
Me:Uh...huh
Stacy:That's that they all say.
Me:See'ya in the streets ten years from now.
Jose:You're mean.-.-
Me:Yeah, well...XD
Jose:-.-...*spots Oscar*Hey! You got any youknowwhat?
Oscar:*looks up and nods*Yeah.
Jose:Serious? *runs over to him*
Me:*looks at the book in my hands*I need a bigger book.-.-
Stacy:Hm?
Me:So I can hit him over his pothead.-.-
Stacy:XD

During Fifth Period
Me:*looks over at Alex*What are you and Tamera going to do for Valentines Day?
Alex:Probably take her to the movie. Maybe I'll take her out to eat.
Me:Aw...^-^
Alex:We might go back to my house too...
Me:Oh?
Alex:*grins slightly*Yeah.
Me:Don't go making any babies, alright? XD
Alex:XD What if we already did?
Me:O.O...XD
Alex:*grins*

Yeah...*blinks*Damn pothead Jose.-.- But it's so sweet of Alex to be doing those things for Tamera. So cute! ^-^ Ugh, but some people really do need to get a room.>.< I was waiting for the public bus to come, and this couple next to me were making out. Because they were right next to me, the smacking of their lips sounded even louder. Really now...Get a room! -.-;;;

Hm...I'm almost done with IT. I'm in page 801. And I'm sort of almost done with my project. I just need a bit more information, type a bit more, and then I'll print it out. Gah. Finals start tomorrow. @.@ Wish me luck! x.x I don't think I'm going to do the final for Gym.-.- I messed up my left ankle again. Walking home was a bitch.>.< So running four laps will be torture.

At least I get to come out early for the rest of the week. And I believe there is no school on Monday. Good way to end the finals. Jeez. @.@

*pokes some of Matthew's old clothes*Wow...;-; He was to tiny back then.*runs fingers over an old shirt*God...I can barely remember when he was so little. He was born about a month or so early. He would've been born during this month instead of Janurary. Which means he was born pre-mature. Jesus Christ...

Well, I better go back to my project. So, yeah...bye bye my stalkers! I mean...>>;;;*hides*

Adios amigos,
       Stephanie.

Today was an okay day actually. Well, for the time being anyways. Found out the current grade that I have in my 6th period class. It's a B+. Mr. Patterson said that I'm doing good, but he wants me to get out of the B area and head straight towards an A. So, the project that I'm doing in his class, which is the Cuban-American one, should help me obtain an A. But that's only if I do well on my presentation.

I got my results from my Algebra test thingeh. I got a 69. Which is funny. XD If you don't get it, then that's good. If you do, yes, I am a bit of a perv. >>;;; But so are you if you knew what I meant! >> <<...X3

Anyways...what else? My mood...hm. Isn't a very good one really. ^.^;;; I'm lingering between alright and...depressed, I believe. Usually happens when I'm hyper. Not because of anything bad, just the part where I have to mellow out after being so goddamn hyper. @.@

I just burned my mouth. ;-; I'm eating these Mini Hot Pocket...pizza things, and my brother(the baby:Matthew) already ate and I don't want him to eat anymore, so I stuffed the little pizza pocket thing in my mouth before he could see it. @.@ I'm so stupid. I forgot that it was really hot and I ended up burning myself. Owie...;-;

On a lighter note! XD I get to get out of school early starting on the second. ^-^ Mainly because of finals. Whee! I'll be home by one most of this week. ^.^

2/2: I have my finals for Health and English.(Periods 1 and 4)
3/2: I have Gym and Science finals.(Periods 3 and 5)
4/2: I'm having my Algebra and Cultural Awareness final.(Periods 2 and 6)

So yeah, I get out at 12:18pm on Friday. ^-^ But for the other two days I get out at 12:36.

Let's see...[jaderii] is now calling me the "Cookie Goddess" seeing as I'm always giving her cookies and of course candy and other things. Yay! XD

Eh, I don't feel like writing/typing anymore. So I go bye bye now. >> <<

'Till later my pretties,
             Stephanie.

I can't seem to write anything at the moment. I keep trying to write a poem but so far...nothing! ;-; Nooo...this sucks.-.-

And I'm trying to work on my project again. But I don't know how much longer I have until I have to get off. Because my brother wants to use the comp.-.-

So, yeah. I'm working on the religion portion of my project. Seems interesting. Sorta. But yeah...I need to finish this soon.

I might go out later today after all. Maybe for an hour or so. But that's much later in the day. And I better go back to my project, so yeah. Sorry for the second entry. ^-^;;;

Adios,
  Stephanie. 

So, um, yeah...I went to the theater last night. I saw Racing Stripes. My mom thought it was this new movie called Madagascar, which I don't think is out yet. I think it comes out in May. Anyways, when the movie started there was this cute baby Zebra. It was so cute. ^-^ Um, yeah. Well, my mom asked me why it wasn't in cartoon or whatever. I just shrugged in confusion. Then she asked me where the penguins were. It took my five seconds or so to realize that she had confused this movie with Madagascar. So I told her what Racing Stripes was about. And yeah. It was alright though. The flies were cool! XD And there was an Aerosmith song in the movie too. Walk This Way. I wanted to hear all of it. T.T But I got to hear two other Aerosmith songs on the way home. ^-^

What else? Oh yeah. I saw the preview for that new Willy Wonka movie. It looks cool. Except for Johnny Depp. I don't know why, but he scared me. O.O A lot. He looked...freaky. *shrugs*Ah well. If I think an actor or actress is "hot" or whatever, it doesn't last very long. But yeah. My head hurts.-.- Again. Goddamn it.

Wow...I'm going to be fifteen this year. XD I keep forgetting that. Along with my birthday. ^.^;;; I think Stacy and very few other people such as Alice, Gaby, Adri, and Vanessa are the only ones who can remember and not forget. My dad forgot it again. -.- People can only remember the month but never the day. Oooh...maybe I should take my birthday off of my description and see who will be able to remember it once the day comes. X3 Heh. Or not.

Um...I'm tired. And...I don't know what else to put. I know there was more but I can't remember. And I don't think I'm going out today. ^-^ I get to stay home and...read. And use the comp until my dad tells me to get off. And I'm done with this for today.

Hasta Luego,
       Stephanie.

And I just got back from the library. It was alright. Even though I wish I had more time to look for other books. I only managed to check out three. I took my brother with me though. If I took my sister, she would just lose whatever book she may have gotten. Which she has already done. And I had to take my dad to pay for it. Along with changing the address and whatnot. And I don't know if I'll be on tomorrow. Well, I will be on. But I'm not sure for how long. I think the same goes for later today. But I sort of doubt it. Anyways, these are the books that I checked out:

-Isabel's Daughter by Judith Ryan Hendricks(It's a romance novel, I believe.)
-The Tommyknockers by Stephen King.
-Fatal Voyage by Kathy Reichs

Hopefully I'll be able to read them all by the time I have to return them. But I doubt that too. Seeing as I'm only half way done with finishing IT. Eh, I'm close. I just need to go back to reading it. I took...about an hour break from it. Plus, I can't really read much of the book at school. Which sucks. A lot. Well, I'm going to finish that book before I start on any of the other books that I got.

Blegh, I just remembered. I still need to buy Jasmine her gift. Plus, I still have to use the giftcard that she gave me. Well, "free" manga for me once I do use it. ^-^ And I'm probably going to buy her a manga too. Start her off on a new series. I got her obsessed with manga and anime now. XD

Hrm, what else? Oh, yeah. I'm still working on my project for my Cultural Awareness class. Plus, finals start next week on the third. I think. Or was it the second? Eh, somewhere around there.

I have to go to the theatre today. No doubt to go see some movie that I don't want to go watch. I wanted to watch a scary movie, damnit. -.- Now I'm being forced to go see some little kid movie because my dad is going to stay home with my baby brother. Which means, I have to go so I can help my mom out with whatever.*sighs*Eh, I need to go anyways. My mom thinks I hate her. I want her to stop thinking that. So yeah...

Well, I have to go now to get ready. I doubt I'll have much time even though the movie starts at eight tonight. Well, adios.

Peace, love, and...all that good stuff,
                  Stephanie.

Myah...I'm tired. And I have a bit of a sore throat. ;-; I've been bothered by this since Sunday I believe.
Um, what else? Eh, school's been so-so. Except for what happened during gym on Monday. -.-

Well, here's the deal. Some moron sat next to me and started leaning against my shoulder while I was reading IT during gym. I jerked my shoulder away and tried moving away, but there wasn't much room so I had to stay where I was. Then he stretched and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.-. -I shoved him off and then he reached over and started stroking my arm and he tried to hold my hand in the process.>.< GAH! I wasn't even bothering anyone! What did I do to deserve the creepy harassment?! ;-; Jebus Christo...I am going to take [jaderii]'s advice though. If it happens again that is.*coughs*Don't ask. >> <<

I just noticed something yesterday while I was talking to [jaderii](who is friggin' awesome) on Elfpack yesterday. Well, I'm beginning to say "Jebus Christo, Myah, and Pyah..." a lot. Not sure why. O.o I think those are the only words. Can't remember. Um, yeah.

I think I should ask Erica(Not sure if she spells it Erica or Erika) if I can listen to some of her rock CD's on the bus. It's so dull there. >.< But I took my CD player and two rock CD's of mine today. So it wasn't that boring. Plus I spent the whole gym peridod reading IT and listening to Green Day and whatever came on on the radio. Though I couldn't hear much of the songs because of all the loud noise coming from the people sitting next to me.-.-

Mm, I have Algebra homework to do. And a poem to start working on for Matt. @.@ And...I need to finish the project for my Cultural Awareness class. And...a bunch of other stuff! Though I got one of the highest scores for the Algebra test that we took on Monday. ^.^ I think I'm the second or only person to have passed the quiz. I rock! XD

Oh yeah! Sunday was the day we finally had Matthew's second birthday party! ^-^ And [Mistress of Darkness](Stacy), [GABY!](Gabriela; Gaby), and [lasunshine](Adriana; Adri) came too! ^.^ It was so cool! And the cake was good too. XD We snuck a pizza box, some Pepsi, and grabbed a slice of cake and some ice cream each and went straight to my room. Adri told us(Well, me and Stacy, seeing s Gaby didn't want to hear) a scary story of hers. Which, I believe she said was real. But yeah, all in all, it was a good day. :3

Okay, I better stop with this now and start on my homework. @.@ So, adios!

Hasta Luego,
      Stephanie.

*yawns*Ignore last entry...didn't make any sense at all. I know. Wasn't feeling good. Yeah, I was crying. Thinking about things that have been said and done tend to that to me. And yeah, I miss the people who I knew and cared for. May they rest in peace....

*rubs the back of her neck*Mm, side still hurts though. As stated in last entry. And I think the reason why as well. Well, not much anyways. And family is really starting to anger me. A lot. Then again, the girl thing has been making me really bitchy. More than usual. And sensitive too. Though, the reasons as to why I cried in the first place don't really have much to do with the mood-swings. Just, annoyance and depression as to what people tell me even after all the pain that they've put me through.*yawns again*Goddamnit.-.- I'm tired...

*hums to Pure Morning by Placebo*Love this song. Don't know why. I just do. Hum...lots of fucktards bothered me again today. All wanted to insult me. As always. Not sure why. I don't do anything to them.-.- And unless they can read minds, then they don't have a reason to be abusing me like that. Stupid fucks. I do that to myself enough, thank you very much. But that annoys me. A lot. *stabs bad habit*-.-Leave me alone. You cause nothing but trouble. And by that, I'm talking about my odd and low self-esteem...thing.

Yeah, yeah...I'm probably not making much sense. I miss Nancy...and my yearbook. Which she still has. But still, I MISS MY "HEAVILY MEDICATED" FRIEND! Who is scared of clowns. Except IT. Because she told me so. *nods* In the 8th grade. I even miss her clinging to me when normal and preppy people scared her. o.o

Hrm, I know what I want to do for my, what's it called again, Sweet Sixteen? Yeah, that. I want it to be...original. If possible. ^.^;;; Though I wish that a few of my friends here and Matt could go. That would be the greatest birthday present. EVER. Especially since I don't like getting expensive gifts. I like, simple and if possible, homemade gifts. But yeah...food is here. I need to go.

Until whenever my pretties,
         Steph.

Eh, random thoughs that are going through my mind. It scares me...Monkies are cool though...Penguins are better...cuddle...>>;;;

Whee...
I need serious mental help...
My parents said so...
Countless times...-.-
Medication...?
And they want me to stay a virgin..
Forever and ever and ever...
I can promise until I get married(Heh! Funny! Me? Get married! How amusing! Well, not to me...)
If I get married...
Everyone will pity the groom...
I mean, I know people who pity Matt for being with me...
Which isn't funny at all...
Makes me feel bad...
Like, I don't deserve to be with him or something...
Because they think I'm no good...
For anyone...
Ha...
Sadistic idiots...
I am good for someone...
Hopefully him...
I pray I am...
Though I have my faults...
Which annoy me...
To no end...
But I know everyone has them too...
But...I don't think they're right...
Are they...?
I mean...they don't know me much at all...
I may be a bitch at times but...
I am loving...
Too much at times...
And I love him...
So then what...?
Bitches...
Nosey, that's what they are...
Telling me their b.s....
I need to stop thinking about that...
And other stuff...that...bother me...
Hm...
I should put my ideas for what I want...
For my "Sweet Sixteen" thingeh...
I know what I want...
Need Matt to go...
That would be fun...
And romantic in a way...
I'm such a hopeless romantic...
Now I'm moody again....
Which I wasn't before...
Surprised,eh...?
Mm...
Which the physical pain would leave...
Crying...can't stop crying. Damnit...
This week hasn't been very good...It's been hell...
And now I have tear-stained cheeks, an awful headache and a bruise on my side to prove it...
Heh...bastard...he didn't have to hit me so hard...
Need some poetic release...the poem that I just worked on didn't help much...
Maybe I should go to sleep...
I've been sleep deprived too long...
Awful things come to mind...
Bad thoughts...
Bad memories...
I wonder if they made it to heaven...
Are they looking down on us?
Showing pity...maybe? Concern? What...
Kevin...?
Wow...it's been a while since I've said your name...
I'm happy you had Stacy to make you happy...
It was so complicated, wasn't it Kevin?
The whole...you...Stacy and Henry thing I mean...
Wish you could tell me how it's like...after death...
I wonder if Kevin is with Henry, Tommy, and Jason now...?
The four best friends from what I learned from Stacy...
I'm huanted...
Very much so...
It's...scary...
And depressing...
Them...
Lying underground...lifeless...
Four free spirits now...
The best of friends...
All together...
Even after death...
Sorry for whatever mean things I said about you...
Byron...
Rest in peace...
Murder...so brutal...
Didn't deserve it...
Head hurts...
"Bittersweet migraine in my head..." as the song goes...
Green Day kicks ass...
Random song lyrics of theirs continue to come to mind...
Wonder why...
Wow...
This entry makes no sense...
And my side still hurts...
Though it's now turning into a numb sort of pain...
If possible...
Can't explain...
Mm...so tired...
I'll stop...
Adios....

"Waiting, for your modern messiah, to take away all the hatred, That darkens the light in your eye..." (Liberate by Disturbed)

*hums*I'm tired. Really tired. Hm, I feel like writing another poem for Valentines Day. Even though I HATE the holiday. But what will I do with the poem? Hrm...I'll give it to mi amor then.^-^ If I write it that is. But if I do that, then I'll have to write some kind of poem for all my friends. Ooh, another challenge. ^.^

OMFG! XD I just finished listening to Addictive by Truth Hurts feat. Rakim, and dear god...I can't believe I used to sing along to this song so much. I mean, yeah I could understand some of what the lyrics meant, but...now...ha! I can't stop laughing. Okay, I was reading a Stephen King book when it came on. I would've been reading Carrie, Insomnia, Christine, etc etc but I couldn't make up my mind in the library, so I had to close my eyes and, well...pick. I landed on It(The only clown that Nancy, my "heavily medicated for your protection" friend, isn't scared of. >> <<) and yeah. I'm currently reading that book. It's good. I just haven't had much time today to read much. Anyways...what was I saying? O.o Oh, yeah...the song. Um....yeah, it doesn't sound right in my mind.Whee...<<;;; Well, look. o.o

{Verse 1: Truth Hurts}
He breaks, me down, he builds, me up
He fills, my cup, I like, it rough
We fuss, we brawl, we rise, we fall
He comes, in late, but it's, ok
He do, I do, he knows, the rules
He takes care of home, though he's not alone
I'm on, his knee, he keeps, me clean
And gives, me things, he makes, me scream

{Chorus: Truth Hurts}
He's so contagious, returns my pages
He's got me anxious, he's what I waited for
He keeps me guessin, spontaneous
He's so persuasive, and I'm his lady

{Verse 2: Truth Hurts}
Oh! Tonight he's waitin, and I ain't complainin
I'm entertainin, my number one fan
My back is achin, from our love makin
Oh yes I'm takin, ain't no use in fakin
My ups, my downs, my high and my lows
From head to toe, he makes me glow
He hits the spot, he makes me hot
I'm all that he's got, and he's all that I got

Eh, yeah.-.- Now it won't get out of my head. Nooo...! *sulks**blinks*My dad has a new memory card for the digi cam...I wonder if he'll put the program up now...>> And if not, too bad! I AM NOT putting back my first pick up.-.- I lookeh fugleh. Anyways, what else? Oh yeah, on Sunday we're having Matthew's birthday! And he can say "Love You" now! ^-^ Here is the list of all the words he can say now:
-Mine
-Bye
-Hi
-Mommy
-Papa
-Cookie
-Love You (Which tends to sound like "Lub You" and "Bab ou" *giggles*)
-Comida(Said by him as 'mida)
-Baby
-Aw, man
-All Right(Said "Aw righ'," yes, righ')
-Matt
-Matthew(somewhat)
-Gracias(again, somewhat)
-Niña
-Niño
-Peter(my kid brother's name)
-Car

And a bunch of other things that I can't remember right now...I ♥ Matthew! And no worries, I ♥ you all as well. (alt codes)^-^ Though mi amor, in a much different sense. ^.~ Whee! *blinks*Ahem...

*yawns*So tired...I should go now. Well, adios!

Con tutto l'mio amore(Italian for: With All My Love),
                      Stephanie.

P.S. You by Allen Anthony is a PERVETED song. O.O(With some of the things said in the lyrics that is.) Dear god...wow...um...o.o Jebus...( http://www.char-star.com/rb/y/you_aa.html )

I wrote a new love poem! ^-^ Still needs a bit more work though. It's a bit choppy.-.- Anyways, it's on deviantART now.( http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/14167114/ ) It's funny, I wasn't even listening to any love songs. O.o The idea just popped into my head. Well, here ya go. My newest love poem...thingeh.

Standing Still

With three little words
You swept me far away
Into this land of fantasy
Of love's beginning and misery's decay.

Whenever in your arms
I feel as if,
Time is standing still.
Whenever your lips brush against mine
I lose my nerve,
My sanity,
My will.

Time stands still
Every time I'm with you
Your soul and mine
Whisper soft words to our mind
'I love you.'
They say
Making our love,
Last another day.

Never again will we be lost,
From each other
For our love will last forever
Whatever the cost....
Sweet and innocent is what it is
Just like your lips against mine
In such a gentle kiss.

Time is standing still again
Our love has yet to reach it's end
So standing still in time
We say our vows of love
And smile...
For we know
That when time stands still
There is no time to cry,
For our love...shall never die.
Copyright©2005 Stephanie Solis

So...what do you think? >> << No need to tell me, I just got bored. Well, I'm sleepy so I'm off to bed. Nighty night my pretties! Or...whatever time it is. O.o

With lots of love,
          Steph. 

God only know's how many times I've cried. And today, he can just add another day. Yes, I cried. I cried a lot. And I don't want anyone bitching to me about it anymore. I'm sick and tired of it. Just like you're all sick and tired of me doing this bullshit over and over again. I don't care what happens to me anymore. That doesn't mean that I want to die or just end it. No, that would be selfish of me. You all know that sooner or later I'll be alright again. That's just how it is. But I really don't care about myself anymore. The only thing left that I'll ever care about are those who are close to me. Hopefully, they all know who they are. I don't know what the point in writing this is. I'm not going to even put down what probably caused me to write this. I can't express myself much besides with this usual crap. So I'll stop now.

Love you all,
       Stephanie.

Whee! Today is my baby brother's second birthday. ^-^ Happy Birthday Matthew! Though I'm not sure when the party is going to be. And I'm also not sure if I really want anything for my birthday now. If I go to Mexico, my parents will still fight. But this time, I won't be in the comforts of my home. And if we have my Quinceneara...the same thing will occur. Except, I'll be with my friends and family...and...blegh. I'd rather not have that happen in front of them. Well, I don't know what I'm going to pick. Possibly Mexico. Even though I'll be gone for two or more weeks. Don't miss me too much! Please note that I'm being sarcastic.-.- Anyways, enough of that. Hm...ah yes.

Happy Birthday Matthew!