[Just another heartache on my lips.]'s diary

508047  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-27
Written: (7209 days ago)
Next in thread: 508358

I know you're going to read this Jen. I know you stalk me here on Elftown(whenever you stop using your brothers username and go on yours)...XD STOP WITH THE TOUCHY TOUCHY! O.o You ebil child molester! ;-; When I say I want to be held, that doesn't mean that I want to be groped! O.O *sniffs*I feel so violated sometimes...-.- No wonder you can't keep a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Or...both. *coughsskankcoughs* >> << But, yeah...making fun of you is fun. But anyways, this is what you get for saying all the crap....and acting like a child molester...>>;;; And no, I don't want you to be my bitch. Or vice versa! o.o;;; Anyways...bye bye now. >> <<

508020  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-27
Written: (7209 days ago)

Damn, did I wake up annoyed...Heh, ah well...I'll comfort myself out of it. Doubt anyone really wants to help. I don't think I shoudl've came on. I should've just stayed in my room and finished up on my homework. Blegh...mental stress is a pain. Everything is annoying me now. Not everyone. Everything. And now I feel like crying...meh...whatever...I'll just go...

506894  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-26
Written: (7210 days ago)

My god, I am such a fucking idiot. Casey...I'm really sorry if I worried you last night. I really am...you know me...

I'm so tired right now. I didn't get much sleep last night. I hardly do anymore. I can't believe I thought that everything would be alright. All lies as always. Like everything would be alright here. Yeah right...I should've known. But whatever...I can always leave once I turn eighteen. Though I might be faced with a different kind of pain. You never know...

I can't believe I wanted to end it all last night. Well, yes I can. But anyways, so close yet what good would that have done? If I killed myself that would've been a very selfish, stupid, and cowardly thing to do. It would've just caused pain to those who do care about me. That's it. I'm telling my parents once my dad comes home that I need to get special help. I need someone to talk to. Hell, a stranger might work because they won't know crap about me and they won't cause me emotional pain because we don't know each other. That might work. I just need to let everything out before I reach the breaking point. So close yet so far...And god do I hate crying. I cried so much yesterday and this morning. Blegh...And my left arm still hurts. I practically tore into it yesterday with my nails...ugh...

I guess I'll work on my homework soon. I need something to pass the time. Well, sorry for those who actually read this. I'm not a very happy and smart person at the moment. Hardly ever am unless something good happened or I'm hyper. Or someone drugged my drink/food. Whichever. Anywho. I better go now. Gotta finish cleaning...

506326  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-26
Written: (7211 days ago)

The fork is your master! XD *giggles*
http://www.deviantart.com/view/15528495/

Anyways! Um, yeah...>> << Too much Pepsi. XD Caffine! MEH FWEIND! XD *yawns*O.o...Yeah...school was boring. *nods*Had a test for Algebra today. *nods again*I probably messed up on it. *sniffs* -.- Ebilness...

*yawns again*-.- I had no idea that I had English homework that was due today until my English teacher told me. But I had been, eh, crying so he said I could turn it on Monday. I'll work on it tomorrow. It shouldn't be that hard.

Lets see, what else? Oh yeah, I spent all of Gym with Brenda, Rodrigo, Chris, Steven and some other guys. Basically, me and Brenda were the only girls. And I'm quite used that really. Since I was a tomboy in elementry and most of middle school(still am, but eheh...) most of my friends were guys. ^.^;;; I'm used to their stupid talk, but that still doesn't stop me from calling them sex crazed pigs. >> <<

Anyways! Steven and...the other guys like anime and manga. And video games. And...making fun of each other. O.o I felt sorry for Steven. But he's pretty cool. Most of them are...odd. But that's even more cool. Strange people rock. Eheh. >> <<

Hrm, me and Stacy talked to Colin a bit during Algebra. He spent most of the conversation telling us that he knew two langauges. And he said they were English and redneck English. O.o Then he started using some examples and yeah.... o.O And then me and Stacy started telling him that he could probably fit in if he went to Mexico. Well, if he went to the parts were there were a lot of blondes that is. As long he kept his mouth shut, he could fit in. We all laughed at that. >>;;;

But other than that, school was pretty dull. Not much went on. Oh yeah! Stacy burned me some new CD's. One, well two, of which were Young Lust: The Aerosmith Anthology. MINE! *huggles it* >> <<

So yeah...I'm pretty bored right now and I have no idea what else to put. Besides the fact that I need to get some stamps and an envelope for the letter that I'm writing to Nicole. Meh sexeh mommeh babeh. XD I'm still looking for a gift that'll fit inside though.-.- And I want more Pepsi...so...bye now! ^-^;;;

504478  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-24
Written: (7213 days ago)

Just another bad day....

Didn't get much sleep last night. Once again. Damnit. I'm really tired. Trying to stay awake in class today was hard. I just wanted to lay my head down and sleep for an hour or so. Eh, thankfully I finished half of my Algebra homework during class. I really hope I don't mess up on the test. The material is simple, but my mind just goes blank during a test. Oh, and some English homework too. Simple stuff.

Gym for two hours. Ugh. I hate Gym. But at least I have someone to talk to. Brenda. She's cool. But, Rodrigo is there too. Ah well, it's not important. He's not that annoying, I guess. Heh, but there was a bee on my arm during gym. That was amusing....

Rodrigo:There's something on your arm.
Brenda:*looks at both of her arms*
Rodrigo:Not you. Stephanie.
Me:*blinks and glances at my left arm*Oh, it's a bee...
Brenda and Rodrigo: O.O *both jump up and back away slightly*
Me:*flicks it off absently*There. It's gone. I guess I shouldn't have worn that rose perfume today.
Brenda:O.O...I hate bees. >.<
Me:Same. ^-^
Brenda:O.o...

Heh, yeah...Oh! And Jasmine brought a Fruits Backet DVD to let me borrow. I'm going to watch it later. An hour or so before I go to "sleep." Eheh...

I don't feel like talking about my day. I'm not in a bad mood anyways. Even though I had a bad day. Well, not yet I suppose. We'll see. Hrm, I feel like writing a new poem. So, yeah. That's enough for today.

Fino A Piu successivamente(Italian for Until Later, or so I believe.),
Stephanie.

503508  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-22
Written: (7214 days ago)

Oh my god, I am so cold. It's been raining like crazy. I think we got a total of two years worth of rain here in Southern California. Or so I heard. And when I got to school, it was pouring. People barely stepped out of the bus and they got drenched. @.@ Flood watch...tornado watch? Eh?! O.o

Anyways, I have tamales! Nummy! I'm eating my fourth one...>> << I didn't eat anything today so I'm starving. I mean, they aren't that big. *coughs*

Ugh, I have to finish algebra and English homework. Boo...-.- I hate homework. It's the work of the devil I tell you! >.< Hrm, what else? Oh yeah, I can't wait for the pic that Bina is going to draw for me. I'm so excited! CHIBI! XD

Blegh, I think five tamales is enough for one day. @.@ I'm stuffed! That reminds me, this guy named Jesus who rides the same bus with me to school was selling tamales on the ride home. It was fularious. >>;;; I don't feel like explaining why though. So don't ask. >> <<

Heh, I better start on my homework now. Adios.

502336  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-02-21
Written: (7215 days ago)

-.-I think I have to go to the clinic today. At first I thought it was only for my brother, but my mom said that she appointment for me too. I didn't even know that I'm sick too. O.o *yawns*God, I'm tired. My sister woke me up too early today. Hellish brat. -.- *hums to Lifeless...Life by Ill Niño* I love this band. >> << I think many of them come from Brazil. I can't remember. I need to go check again.

Oh yeah! I saw Inuyasha:The Movie II two nights ago. It was so cool. XD I feel like watching it again. *blinks*Oh damn...I need to return my library books.-.- I think they're overdue now. Damnit. v.v

And I still have homework to do. I finished math. But I still have to finish my homework for Art and English. I have art tomorrow, but thankfully, I have English on Wednesday. But no school today! Woo! I would've had all my classes if there was school today.-.- But I only have three of my classes tomorrow. Two hours each though. Damn...science is so boring. I know it can be interesting...but my science class SUCKS. *sulks*

*yawns again*Eh, I need to go and start getting ready in case I really do have to go to the doctor or whatever. *sniffs* And it's almost noon...and it's so cold. Ah well...let's see how long the rain shall last. Well, bye now. ^.^;;;

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
- Bill Cosby

495166  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7223 days ago)

If ya love or whatever, then maybe you should read the following. Saves the both of us from too many questions.


Well, it's pretty late right now, but I don't want to go to sleep. I don't want to plagued by nightmares....not now, please...

And before I get bitched at for my depression, hear me out...even though I'd rather not say anything about this, I know I have to...

Okay, well, Stacy and Nicole already know about this. If somewhat. So, I'll just spit it out...My mom tried to commit suicide. She overdosed on some pills. And right now, nothing is alright. Both sides of the family are a mess. None of us know what to do about it. What to think. We can only be there for one another and give each other support.

I found out that she wanted to slit her wrist on Friday. Probably cause some other form of harm to. So my dad hid all the sharp objects. Just in case. To make things more clear, the fighting isn't new. My mom isn't right in the mind. We all know that. And we're scared too. Really scared. And fed up with it as well.

Many of my relatives know, to some extent, of the fighting that goes on in my home. It's nothing new. But now, the fifteen years of pain and anguish have gone to far. My grandparents, aunts, and uncles are afraid that if my mom comes back home, still...crazed, she might try something. I mean, she already tried killing herself...why should my siblings, dad, and I matter?

They're worried, sick with worry. My uncle held me though...as I cried that is. It felt nice...being held I mean. It's a small form of comfort that goes a long way in my heart.

So, at the moment, my mom is in the hospital. And my dad and my uncle are over there. My uncle didn't want my dad to go alone. Not in the state that he's in. But, everyone seems more worried about me. I mean, they're worried about my parents, but...I'm used to being in the sidelines during the fights. And they know that I've been going through a lot of pain at home since the day I was born.

Yeah, even before I was born. Ya know, there was a chance that I might not have made it. With all the fighting I mean. Quite dangerous when you're about to have a child...

Anyways, yes, they worried about me. Everyone. They've all been asking me if I'm alright. If I need anything. Or, if I'll be able to sleep. And, if I'll be okay. And, well, yeah...

I'm not going to school tomorrow. Everyone said I should stay. But my siblings are. And I called Stacy([Mistress of Darkness]) earlier. And I informed her about this. To some extent, anyways. She's going to call tomorrow, to make sure I didn't do anything and stuff. Which I won't Don't worry about me. You know I won't do something like that. Ever. No matter how bad things get. I won't.

But, I'm not in the right state of mind right now. And, I know that I'm not one to really ask for much, but I'm just asking one single thing from you guys...and that's just to be here for me. I mean, I don't want pity, no. I just want to be supported while I go through this. I don't want to sound selfish, but I need you all. You know I may not want to talk about this much, but please don't get mad at me if I sound too negative, I...I'm not well right now. I just need you guys. A lot. And I love you all.

And, Matt and Nicole, I'm sorry for leaving like that. And for doing it twice, Nicole. I really am. Again, I'm sorry...

Well, it's almost eleven right now, and I better go to bed now. My dad said that he was going to make my aunt take me somewhere tomorrow. Heh, Valentines Day. Well, bye everyone. Or more like, whoever read this...

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2-14-05 9:40am

I decieded to keep updating this diary entry until the afternoon comes around.

Well, my dad just called. And, I don't know how to put the whole conversation into words. Hm...

I'll try though. He asked me if I was alright. And I told him that I was and that I was the only one home at the moment with Matthew. I had to explain to him that it was because my grandmother had to go to the doctor. An appointment I believe. Anyways, he asked me again if I was alright. And then asked me what we were going to do with my mom. Heh, I don't know. None of us know what to do at this point. My dad said that my mom might be gone for a while. Maybe forever. I don't know. He just said that he can't have my mom at home the way she is. Depressed and ready to hurt herself.

My dad doesn't want her to keep making my siblings and I depressed. Hell, it's already starting to show when it comes to my sister and I. And she's only eight. She's not suppose to be saying that she wants to kill herself. Or that she just wants to die or runaway....

Well, my dad said that I need to talk to someone. He said it'll help me. I don't want to though, even though by not doing that I'll be causing more harm to myself. I'm afraid I guess. Rejection? Maybe. Judgement? I guess.

I guess he doesn't want to see me like my mom. Who is going to get special help now. And he doesn't want that for me. He doesn't want me to be seeing all these doctors and taking medicine for depression. Even though I know that he knows that I'm already suffering through some form of depression. Because he told me that. He knows that I keep to myself and I'm always alone, most likely because I'm depressed or something. Hm...

Well, I need to go watch over Matthew now. I'll be back later....
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
12:40pm

Well, my dad just called again. And he said that my mom is going to stay at my grandmothers house for a week. And then...we'll see. My dad is going to start taking her to Church and of course, the hospital for special help as I've stated before.

But that's not just it. He said that he was going to call my school tomorrow and ask if I can have someone to talk to. Oh, great...

He said it's bad for me to keep all my emotions in. And I know it is too. But I don't know...I'm scared...

Well, I have cleaning to do. And I better stop procrastinating about it too. Heh heh...well, bye for now.

I love you all,
        Stephanie


P.S:
I guess I won't add anything more now. If you want to know anything else, ask me if you want. Heh, I guess...
494664  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-13
Written: (7223 days ago)

Yay! I finished the poem that a new friend of mine from deviantART requested me to write for her. Turned out pretty good. ^-^ Lookie! http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/15124461/

*yawns*I'm tired. ^.^;;; And I'm probably leaving soon to get my art supplies for school. Which I need by tomorrow. Or was it Tuesday? I can't remember. O.o I'm thirsty too...@.@ And really bored. Oh, and no going to the moutains today. *sniffs* ;-; Ah well.

Blegh, tomorrow is Valentines Day. What horrors shall I encounter on this god forsaken day? Hm? O.o Ignore me...^-^;;; Eh, I don't feel like writing, er, typing, anymore. Well, here anyways. So yeah...Adios! ^.^

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they’ve seen me laugh, and they’ve seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.
-Bill Maher

494182  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7224 days ago)

I got new manga today. Angel Sancturary and Crescent Moon. Though, one of them shall belong to Jasmine. But I'm going to read them both and let her pick which one she wants when I take them to school on Monday. >>;;; It's a very late Christmas gift. ^.^;;; Or a very early Christmas/birthday gift. Whatever. O.o

Huh...I'm not feeling well. I was feeling quite happy until just a few minutes ago. Yay...*yawns* Now I'm tired too. @.@ Sleep...bed...pillow...x.x

I got a new shirt today. A black one with 'Anime Junkie' written in red at the front. Heh. Well, I'm going to go soon. So, adios.

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for life.
-Jimi Hendrix

493876  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-12
Written: (7224 days ago)

Let's see, I found out yesterday that I might be going to Vegas in early March. I might be gone for three days. Don't miss me too much! Heh!

Um, so far family problems have decreased for the time being. Which is a relief. *hums to Tainted Love* God, I love this song. ^.^ "Sometimes I feel I got to runaway, I got to get away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me..."*hums the rest*>>;;; Take my tears and that's not nearly all! >> << So I lied...XD *yawns*Hum...I'm bored.-.-

Oh! I don't know if I'll be on much today. I'm going out with ze familia in a little bit. It's going to be noon soon, and we're leaving around two. And I need to go take a shower and my brother wants to use the comp, so I might not be on until later if not at all.

*hums to Here I am by The Explosion*I'm so musical right now.O.o There was something else that I was gonna put, but I forgot. Oh yeah...I broke a dish this morning. Or, so they said.-.-

Me:*washes dishes boredly**sets one on the counter*
Dad:Be happy I'm not making you wash the pots, 'cause I "like" you too much.
Me:Heh.*sets one of Matthew's plastic plates ontop of the other*...*hears the plates crash onto the floor*...o.o
Dad:*turns around*-.-Nevermind. I hate you now.
Me:O.O...But I didn't do anything! >.<
Dad:Whatever...idiot.-.-
Me:-.-....

Aren't we a loving family? O.o Yeah...-.- Oh! I found some really nice photography on deviantArt, but I'm too lazy to get the links for all of them.-.- I believe they're in my favorites. Somewhere. I don't feel like looking.^.^;;;

http://angel-de-amor.deviantart.com/favourites/

There...*blinks*Oooh! Chibi Marauder pic! O.O...*clings to chibi Remus*MINE! >> << *coughs*Anyways...^-^;;; Buh bye now...>> <<

An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
- Edgar Wallace

*coughs*Heh...>> <<

493483  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-02-11
Written: (7225 days ago)

I need a hug...*sniffles*And a nap...

Anywho, yeah...I thought the family problems may have vanished, but I was wrong. I'm so confused right now. It appears like one of my parents may have had an affair. I don't know...I'm lost. But there's more. But, I'm not going to share right now.

It rained today...
That was nice. I love the rain...dangerous yet beautiful. Depressing and joyous. Right now, it's all of them to me. I can't keep my eyes opened my right now. I'm so tired...and I have homework to do. And I need to fix that thing that I have to turn in for Art. I ripped the paper by accident, so I need to get some more and finish it. Yeah, I can be a clumsy idiot at times.-.-

What else? Oh yeah, I started crying for a while during fourth period. Which is English, by the way. I guess Mr. Weronka knew I wasn't feeling okay. No, I wasn't depressed. I was just in a lot of pain. Anyways, I had my head down and resting against my arms, just like everyone else. But, he didn't tell me anything. To the others, he did. And, I didn't even know I was crying at first. I had my eyes closed. Well, I didn't know until I felt a tear fall against my bottom lip. Yeah...>.<

Um...there were two games today. A soccer game and a basketball game. I think it was JV that was playing at school. Girls for both games. During the practice basketball game, W.H.S was kicking ass. Oh yeah. XD

Eheh, I'm so tired right now...@.@ Someone hold me...pwease? ;-; *coughs*Heh...>>;;; Eh, I'm going to stop now. So...buh bye.

Hasta Luego,
     Stephanie.

492744  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-10
Written: (7226 days ago)

Blegh...I don't feel good. And my head hurts too. And I'm tired beyond belief. @.@ Walking home was a bitch too. El dolor...ugh. Um, anyways. What else? I don't know. I can't think straight right now. No pun intended. Heh. >> << *blinks*Oh! Some relatives of mine from Mexico are here today. Old relatives though. ^.^;;;

*yawns and stretches*I think I'm gonna ask my dad for a digital camera for my birthday. I love photography! ^-^ Maybe an ipod too. >>;;; Hey, I'm not having that huge party so why not? And I doubt that I'm still going to Mexico by the look of things. So...? C'mon. If I get a camera, you get a new pic of me! XD I'm so fugly. @.@ Eheh. Anywho...

Oh god, I'm feeling hyper for no reason. I hope I don't start feeling moody once it fades. x.x Jesus Christ...And a small part of an Ozomatli song is stuck in my head. *points down*

Cada-cada día yo veo la destruccion,
Cada-cada día yo veo la maldicion...
(Translation: "Each day I see the destruction, each day I see the malice-damnation")


Yeah...o.o...Ooh! *blinks*I have no idea...Um, I don't really know what else to put. I'm too tired to think. x.x Bye now!

P.S. Someone tell Michael to stop running his fingers through my hair everytime he passes by me in Algebra. It feels nice...But...EW! *blinks*Oh wait...you don't know him. I'm doomeded. -.- Yes...doomeded. O.o

491889  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-02-09
Written: (7227 days ago)

I'm so damn tired. *falls over*x.x Didn't get much sleep last night. Blegh. And I think my mom left. I don't know for sure. But I heard her leave last night. Heh. C'est la vie.

Anyways, today was alright. I was, and still am as you can see, too tired to really pay much attention in any of my classes. And I think I start on my first art "project" thing tomorrow. I'm not sure. I can't remember that well. Hm, there were some funny moments at school today. As always. Far too many for me to remember though. Typical.

What else? Oh, yeah. I finished the poem that I said I was going to write for Matt. Turned out pretty good really. Though I think it still needs to be fixed up a bit more. I'm never fully satisfied with any of my poems. It's a shame really. Heh.

Speaking of poems, I also wrote another poem apart from that one. Angsty in a way. Wasn't in a good mood. My head was hurting and there was, well still is, too much going on at home. Bleh. *yawns and rubs her eyes*I need a nap. *hugs plushie and pouts*So tired...

Ugh, I don't feel like putting anything else at the moment. @.@ So, buh bye now.

Vedali piu successivamente,
                 Stephanie.

P.S. That was "See you later" in Italian.

490907  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-08
Written: (7228 days ago)

So, um, yeah. I started a new semester today. Wow. >> << Heh, yeah. I got three new classes today. But everything is so mixed up now. @.@

-First Period: Life Skills        
-Second Period: Algebra        
-Third Period: Art           
-Fourth Period: English        
-Fifth Period: Science        
-Sixth Period: Gym         

Um, yeah. I have art now. O.o I get to learn how to draw. XD Blegh, I'm hungry. @.@ And look. I need to get art supplies now. O.o

-Shoe box for supplies
-2 Pencils
-2 Ball-point pens(One black and one blue)
-2 fine tip, black felt markers.
-12" ruler.
-Pair of scissor
-Set of watercolors.
-Set of Colored pencils
-Sketchbook
-Magazine(to cut up for projects)
-Plastic scoop
-Pencil Sharpener
-Plastic eraser


That is a lot of stuff. @.@ And I need to get it by Monday, I think. Ew, Valentines Day. The pure and utter HORROR! o.o

Anyways, today was alright. Not the best but not the worst either. I got out early today, so heh. And, no homework! Woo! I have time to work on Matt's poem now. Yay! ^-^ So far, I only have seven lines. Oh, wow. Impressive. -.-

Ugh, I'm thirsty. And tired. And I don't feel like typing anymore about today right now. Not much to say. So, buh bye now.

Arrivederci,
      Stephanie.

489243  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-06
Written: (7230 days ago)

Ignore that part about taking a nap in my last entry.-.- No such luck. Parents are fighting, and my mom ran off somewhere.

Eh, yeah. *blinks*New version of I Will Survive? Nice...XD *giggles*My brother and I were watching some flash movies earlier. So friggin' funny. Mack Daddy Luigi! XD *coughs*Sorry...I'm hyper. For now anyways. ^.^;;;

I'm still tired though. I really do need a nap. But, it's kind of hard to take one at this time of day. And I'm also cold. -.- Ick, what time is it right now? *blinks*It's not even 2:30pm yet. Today is going by too slow. I'm so alone. O.o I never felt so alone in my entire life. Well, I have. But that's not important. Ick, my hands are freezing. And I don't feel like writing/typing anymore. So, bye now.

Hasta Luego,
      Stephanie.

489131  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-06
Written: (7230 days ago)

-.-I still need to finish Matt's poem. I only have...what? Five lines so far? >.< God, I can't seem to write much at the moment. I believe my non-angsty poeticness was drained due to the poems that I wrote as Christmas gifts. Wrote one somewhat depressing poem about a day or ago. Can't remember. It's on deviantART, but I don't feel like checking. Yeah, I'm lazy. So what?

I'm cold. And I want to stay home on Valentines Day. I hope I get sick. Again. Yeah. >> << But I don't hate it enough to not give Matt that poem thing. If I have time, I may write a few more for a few more people. Friendship poems, I guess. Ick, Matthew just tried giving me some of his orange. After he sneezed on it. >.< Well, that's nice.-.- Sharing is caring, I suppose. I think I care too much. Some people still owe me money! >.< *sniffs*-.-

Blegh, I'm still sick. Though for now, my throat doesn't hurt. Yay! And no fever. I think. O.O;;; I hope so anyways. Hum, a lot of Heavy Metal and Goth music is playing on my Launch radio. O.o Where's my reggaeton?! >.<

I'm tired again.

For some reason, I want a present. O.o I don't know why. I hardly get presents unless it's Christmas or my birthday. And throughout the rest of the year, I'm usually the one giving the presents. o.O Not getting them. Huh, odd. Ah well...must be the whole me being sick thing. I hope. o.o


I think I'll go take a nap. I'm tired. I've been on since 9:10am and it's now 11:30am...I'll come back after my nap. If I take it that is. So, buh bye now.

Until later,
    Stephanie.

P.S
-If there are ANY spelling mistakes and such, I don't care.-.- I'm half-asleep as I write this, so nyah. Adios.

488311  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-05
Written: (7231 days ago)
Next in thread: 488318

Gah. I am sick. I do have a cold. And the damn medicine didn't work. >.< My throat is sore, my nose is stuffy, I keep coughing and sneezing so much that my eyes start to water, and I sound funny. -.- Last night my dad told me to take some of my mom's cold and flu pills, I was suppose to take the Day Time pills, but it was nine o'clock pm, so I was like, "Eh, what the fuck. I'll take the blue ones." So, I took it. My dad asked which pill I took, I said the blue ones. And he said that I better get settled in bed because that blue pill is strong enough to make me crash out. And...that was a lie. I didn't fall asleep until midnight. Damn pill.-.- I was hoping that my dad was right. I need sleep. But, alas, no.

So, yeah. I'm not in a very good mood right now. I'm sick and sleep deprived and more family problems. Whee. *sniffles*-.-;;;

I look more pale than normal too. @.@ Damn. Ah well, I'm just gonna relax for now. If I can, that is. And listen to some music or watch tv. Maybe I'll finish reading IT. I'm near the last few pages actually. Well, hopefully nobody accidently ruins whatever is left of my good mood. As always.-.-

Ugh, I better go take some more medicine. And grab a sweater while I'm at it. So, yeah. That's it for now. Adios.

-
Stephanie.

487164  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-03
Written: (7233 days ago)

I guess today was okay. Yeah. I guess. For now anyways. Passed my science final. Only missed one question. Amazing really...seeing as I didn't study at all. My gym final? Hm. *shrugs*Looks like nobody had to do anything really. The track was being fixed, so there was a change of plans. Looks like I should've dressed for gym. Heh. Irony? Karma? Whatever.

Oh, and I don't know if I'll be on anytime on Sunday. Maybe late in the afternoon. But I'm not sure. My dad said that we might be going to the mountains. To see that white stuff. No, not cocain. Snow. o.O Well, that's if there's any of course. Maybe there will be snow. Or maybe not. You never know.

On a lighter note, no school on Monday for me. Have I already stated this before? I have? Well, too bad. I just stated it again. >> <<

Eh, I think I'm getting sick.-.- I've been sneezing and a coughing a lot. No one give me any mind. I was bound to get sick sooner or later. Blegh. Sore throats suck. My voice sounds funny. Well, more than usual anyways.

I'm feeling moodyish now.>.< Damnit. I knew I shouldn't have gotten hyper. Especially if I am getting sick. Bad, bad, bad.-.-

Sing me something soft, sad and delicate, or loud and out of key, sing me anything...*hums the rest**sighs softly*I can't get those lyrics out of my head. Or the lyrics to Slow Hands by Interpol.*sighs*Just had a mild coughing fit. Blegh.

I better go back to my project now. I don't want to stay up light working on it. So, yeah. I guess I better stop with this today. I feel as if there was more that I wanted to write/type. But I can't think of anything. Typical Steph. So forgetful.-.- Meh. My lips hurt. >.< I've been biting them too much. Anyways, yeah. Bye now.

Slow Hands by Interpol

Yeah but nobody searches
Nobody cares somehow
When the loving that you've wasted
Comes raining from a hapless cloud
And I might stop and look upon your face
Disappear in the sweet, sweet gaze
See the living that surrounds me
Dissipate in a violet place

Can't you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
We slow hands
Put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself now

I submit my incentive is romance
I watched the pole dance of the stars
We rejoice because the hurting is so painless
From the distance of passing cars
But I am married to your charms & grace
I just go crazy like the good old days
You make me want to pick up a guitar
And celebrate the myriad ways that I love you

Can you see what you've done to my heart
And soul?
This is a wasteland now

We spies
Yeah we slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
Killer, for hire you know not yourself

We spies
We slow hands
You put the weights all around yourself
We spies
Oh yeah we slow hands
We retire like nobody else
We spies
Intimate slow hands killer
For hire you know not yourself
We spies
Intimate slow hands
You let the face slap around herself

486411  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-02-03
Written: (7234 days ago)

Whee! It's almost the fourth! ^-^ *coughs*Yeah...>> <<

<< >> Well, today was the first day of Finals. Wasn't so bad. I think I did pretty good on them. Especially my final for English. It was so easy. And I know for sure that I'm not going to do the final for Gym. Ankle still hurts. Though I'm a bit anxious about my finals for Science, Algebra, and Cultural Awareness. Hum...I have a new favorite song! ^-^ I can't get it out of my head. @.@

Existentialism on Prom Night by Straylight Run

When the sun came up
We were sleeping in
Sunk inside our blankets
Sprawled across the bed
And we were dreaming

There are moments when

When I know it
And the world revolves around us
And we're keeping it
Keeping it all going
This delicate balance
Vulnerable, all knowing

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would kill for this

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would, you would

Sing me something soft
Sad and delicate
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything

We're glad for what we've got
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out

Right in front of us

(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would, you would
(Sing like you think no one's listening)

You would kill for this
Just a little bit

Just a little bit

You would

Sing me something soft
Sad and delicate
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything...


I love that song. :3 *blinks*Ugh...I should go back to my project now. Not much to say about today. It's been alright so far. And, yeah...I should stop with this and start on my project again. Adios for now.

Fino A Piu successivamente(Italian for Until Later, I think anyways),
                                               Stephanie.

485625  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-02-01
Written: (7235 days ago)

Well, today was alright I guess. Amusing in some ways too. And annoying as well. *nods* I have candy! ^-^ Sour candy though. @.@ Anyways, where was I? >> << Um...candy is making my stomach hurt. @.@ Gah...anyways. This is why today was amusing and annoying.( Like any of you care. XD ):

During Third Period
Me:*leans back against a wall and waits for Stacy to come out of the locker room*
Jose:*comes over to where I am*I'm mad.-.- (And he was standing right in front of me while I was leaning against the wall of the corner...so...it must've looked odd.-.-)
Me:*blinks*Why? Oh, don't tell me. No weed?
Jose:*nods*All the guys who sell it don't have any today. Damn it! >.<
Me:Heh...
Jose:I think it's a sign from God. "Stop doing weed, Jose!"
Me:O.oOh? Like you're going to listen.
Jose:What am I? A pothead?
Me:Well...
Stacy:*walks over to where we are*
Jose:*turns to Stacy*I'm mad.
Stacy:Why?
Me:He can't smoke weed today.
Jose:I AM NOT A POTHEAD!!!
Me and Stacy:*glance over at each other*
Jose:-.- Now I'm stuck with five dollars, a key chain pipe, and a lighter.
Stacy:O.o
Me:o.o
Jose:Hm, maybe I can smoke the five bucks...XD
Me:....o.o
Stacy:Right...o.o
Jose:I'm going to quit...tomorrow.
Me:Uh...huh
Stacy:That's that they all say.
Me:See'ya in the streets ten years from now.
Jose:You're mean.-.-
Me:Yeah, well...XD
Jose:-.-...*spots Oscar*Hey! You got any youknowwhat?
Oscar:*looks up and nods*Yeah.
Jose:Serious? *runs over to him*
Me:*looks at the book in my hands*I need a bigger book.-.-
Stacy:Hm?
Me:So I can hit him over his pothead.-.-
Stacy:XD

During Fifth Period
Me:*looks over at Alex*What are you and Tamera going to do for Valentines Day?
Alex:Probably take her to the movie. Maybe I'll take her out to eat.
Me:Aw...^-^
Alex:We might go back to my house too...
Me:Oh?
Alex:*grins slightly*Yeah.
Me:Don't go making any babies, alright? XD
Alex:XD What if we already did?
Me:O.O...XD
Alex:*grins*

Yeah...*blinks*Damn pothead Jose.-.- But it's so sweet of Alex to be doing those things for Tamera. So cute! ^-^ Ugh, but some people really do need to get a room.>.< I was waiting for the public bus to come, and this couple next to me were making out. Because they were right next to me, the smacking of their lips sounded even louder. Really now...Get a room! -.-;;;

Hm...I'm almost done with IT. I'm in page 801. And I'm sort of almost done with my project. I just need a bit more information, type a bit more, and then I'll print it out. Gah. Finals start tomorrow. @.@ Wish me luck! x.x I don't think I'm going to do the final for Gym.-.- I messed up my left ankle again. Walking home was a bitch.>.< So running four laps will be torture.

At least I get to come out early for the rest of the week. And I believe there is no school on Monday. Good way to end the finals. Jeez. @.@

*pokes some of Matthew's old clothes*Wow...;-; He was to tiny back then.*runs fingers over an old shirt*God...I can barely remember when he was so little. He was born about a month or so early. He would've been born during this month instead of Janurary. Which means he was born pre-mature. Jesus Christ...

Well, I better go back to my project. So, yeah...bye bye my stalkers! I mean...>>;;;*hides*

Adios amigos,
       Stephanie.

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