[Just another heartache on my lips.]'s diary

527563  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-03-20
Written: (7188 days ago)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICOLE!



Mwuah. Lurve you. ^-^


Anyways, yeah...Spring Break. Awesome. Well, not really but yeah. I don't have homework. Well, just this paper that I have to write for English. But I'm almost done.

And I'm bored. I need to call Stacy tomorrow and tell her that my parents said that I could go to the mall. Now I have to see if she can.

Um...I have a David Bisbal song stuck in my head. I love it though. Mwuah...

Lloraré Las Penas

Lloraré hay lloraré
Lloraré
Lloraré las penas.

Lloraré ay lloraré
Lloraré
Lloraré las penas.

Mi corazón esta en tus manos
Porque todo te lo he dado
Y entre tanto sufrimiento
Creo que se me ha maltratado
Estoy muriéndome
Por tus caricias y tus besos
Desnudándome la piel.

Mi corazón esta en tus manos
Y no puedo rescatarlo
No se como se libera
Un corazón enamorado
Esclavo de tu amor
Vagabundo que agoniza de dolor.

Veo pasar las noches en mi cruda soledad
Y en la luz del alma se que tu me extrañaras.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Pero no te voy a perdonar
Yo se que no volveré a pecar
Estas viejas trampas no funcionaran.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Se que tu calor voy a extrañar
Pero el tiempo es sabio y sanara
Esta herida anclada en mi corazón enamorado.

Mi corazón esta en tus manos
Y no puedo rescatarlo
No se como se libera
Un corazón enamorado
Esclavo de tu amor
Vagabundo que agoniza de dolor.

Veo pasar las noches en mi cruda soledad
Y en la luz del alma se que tu me extrañaras.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Pero no te voy a perdonar
Yo se que no volveré a pecar
Estas viejas trampas no funcionaran.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Se que tu calor voy a extrañar
Pero el tiempo es sabio y sanara
Esta herida anclada en mi corazón enamorado.

Veo pasar las noches en mi cruda soledad
Y que en la luz del alma se que tu me extrañaras.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Pero no te voy a perdonar
Yo se que no volveré a pecar
Estas viejas trampas no funcionaran.

Lloraré hay lloraré
Lloraré
Lloraré las penas.

Lloraré ay lloraré
Lloraré
Lloraré las penas.

Lloraré las penas de mi corazón enamorado
Sufriré el lamento de este corazón ilusionado.

Lloraré
Mi corazón enamorado
Lloraré las penas.


So, yeah...I'm feeling a bit tired right now, adios...WUV YOU NICOLE! ^-^
526326  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-18
Written: (7190 days ago)

It is officially spring break for me. No school until the week after next. Though I'll probably be alone most of the week. Well, until me and Stacy go to the mall that is. We're probably not going to buy anything though. We're going window shopping! XD Eheh, we're going because...

1.)We're going to be bored as fuck during break.
2.)We need something to do.
And...
3.)We need to get ideas as to what we're going to give our friends for their birthday's.

Yeah...I can't wait. Even though we might not even buy anything. Oh! And it's raining! ^-^ Started raining during gym though. While I was outside. So, I was basically siting in the rain for a while with Brenda and Rodrigo until it started raining harder. Which was when we decieded to move.

Oh yeah, Jasmine brought some manga today. ^-^ Model Vol. 1, Imadoki Vol. 5 and SOS. AND I READ THEM ALL! ^-^...The second story in SOS almost made me cry though...it was so sad. ;-;

And I think my science teacher is either on crack or the voices in his head had some sort of rebellion.-.- He gave everyone a D or an F. And I got a freakin' D! >.< My A went down to a D! And I've been doing all my work! The only work that I haven't done are the assignments that I missed during the TWO days(in total) that I've missed since the last grading period began! Damnit...-.-

Hrm, not sure what else to say. Except for the fact that I might get my hair done sometime during the week, and yeah. Well, buh bye now.

525470  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-03-18
Written: (7191 days ago)

Yay, I didn't get pinched today! O.o Seeing as I wore some green. Woo. Oh, and school was decent today. Except for science. Stupid fucks can't do anything on their own...no, they just have to copy my work. -.- Blegh, anyways. My art teacher didn't come! ^-^ But we had a substitute. We didn't really do much though. Besides the fact that we had to draw this picture on a blank piece of paper. Without tracing. Yeah...the first one came out deformed for many people. Well, more than he was on the original picture, anyways. O.o Some girl said that her version looked like ET. XD And it actually did. Creepeh. o.o

But other than that, I spent most of the class time reading, Desperation. About a hundred or so pages left! ^-^ And Jasmine is bringing me some manga tomorrow too. If she comes and doesn't forget that is. Eheh. ~.~

*blinks*...I just remembered that I still have Algebra homework to finish. Thank god that I only need a few more problems for one of them. I don't know if I want to do the other though, I don't get it.-.- But I'll try. Later. After I finish eating.

Well, I guess that's it for today. Buh bye now.

524551  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-03-16
Written: (7192 days ago)

-.-...Clinical depression. Stacy thinks I have clinical depression. Eh, she may be right. I don't know. But...I had a decent school day. Not going so good at home, but eh. C'est la vie. Dear god, I can't wait until I finish 9th grade and go to another high school. I hate most of the people at my school. Well, I don't hate them. It's just that most of those fuckers, excuse my French, really annoy the hell out of me.

Like today...ugh. It's like those bitches thought I didn't know English or what? Jesus Christ, I was standing right next to them. I'm going blind not deaf....stupid skanks. Or more like wannabe skanks. They aren't "sexy" in the freaky/scary/penny whore way either. They could at least wear clothes that keep the gut inside and not out. Oh yeah, real sexy, ladies. Real friggin sexy.

Blegh, I don't know what I'm doing on anyways. -.- I'm like the only one on at the moment. Maybe I should go...read or something. I'm almost done with Desperation. Just less than three hundred pages to go. Woo! Go me.

Lalala...I'm so bored right now. I have nothing to do and nobody to talk too. Besides family that is. But I don't want to talk to them. -.-

Oh yeah! I think I have to go to the dentist on Friday. My brother went today. The poor child...they pulled two of his teeth out. But I think they made them a little whiter than how they were before. O.o But I thought they were going to tell him that he needs braces. C'mon, look at him!(Well, his teeth...O.o) HE DOES! o.o I just need a new tooth brush because someone left mine on the floor to get dirty. -.- And I didn't notice it until a few days ago.

Hrm, my dad can't find that medicine that I have to take for the anemia thing. I think he said that he's going to try looking for it on Saturday. I can't remember.

And my sister just said that there's going to be a party on Saturday at my aunt's house. I hate parties...they are EBIL! EBIL I TELL YOU! Though my sister said that I don't have to go...YAYNESS! Too bad I'll be all alone...sob. ~.~

Ick, 60 messages on deviantArt. -.- Oh, and I have to wear green tomorrow. >.< Eh, thank god I have that green Eeyore shirt. I wuv Eeryore. He's so damn sexeh. XD Riiight...O.o

Ugh, two hours of art tomorrow. I hope it's okay like on Tuesday. Oh! And I have a test for life skills tomorrow too. Damnit.

Ah well...I don't know what else to put. And I have to get my things ready for school, so yeah. Bye now.

523417  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-03-16
Written: (7193 days ago)

Now I remember the name of the...thing that I have. It's anemia. Whee...I'm anemic. And, yeah...

523385  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-15
Written: (7193 days ago)

Surprise, surprise. I found out what's wrong with me. It's some illness or whatever. Lack of iron and all that junk...I honestly don't really care. Not today anyways...I mean, I'm just going to be taking some medication or whatever for three months...and...*shrugs*Whatever else comes with that. Plus I still haven't been getting enough sleep. I try, but I just feel so tired and worn out...and I'm getting all these headaches and I find it hard to concentrate on school(nothing new there)*sighs*Eh, I don't want to worry about that right now, too much crap at home for me to worry much about my health...heh, my mental health is already getting fucked up. -.-

And I just noticed how hard is for me to fight back tears. It's extremely difficult. Heh, they're falling already after...three minutes of me trying hard not to cry. Eh, family troubles again...depressing...eh, nothing new...

Well, besides that I had a decent day at school. Art was actually okay for once. And Life Skills was simple. As always. Though I have an essay due for that class. And science...was alright. Heh, I actually wrote down "Remember to bring Farenheight 451 tomorrow." on my left palm. I keep forgetting to bring it. Mainly because I have to look for it. But I'm happy that mi amor got my letter. Even though my writing sucks.-.-

Had an ineresting conversation with Stacy today. I won't go into detail because, well, I just can't. Heh, mainly, it was about how we both are. And how I look into the depth of everything I see that appears in my personal writing, and how she's the type of person that lingers in bewteen, yet not able to grasp anything deeper than what she's used to. Eh, I'm not making much sense. So yeah, bye now.

522333  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-15
Written: (7194 days ago)

There was a health fair at school today. Woo! We got to learn about STD's, drugs, and acting stupid when you're still a teen. Again. Oh, and condoms too. They were giving out free condoms. Oh! And lube as well. O.o They went out quickly though. XD Eheh, if I had gotten one...I would've probably opened it and stretched it out as far as it could go. I'm amused easily. >>;;; Rodrigo asked me what lube is and what it's used for. Yeah...I hate explaining things like that. -.-

And Stacy surprised me today. She actually said two perverted things that I would have never thought of. She's starting to scare me. A lot. o.o

Um, back to the health fair thing. I had to go twice. Different classes though. Life Skills and science. Yeah...I got a lot of stuff there. And I found this paper that shows how to use a condom. It has pictures...*blinks*I wonder what my mom would say if she found all those papers and such that tell about STD's, safe sex, why you shouldn't have sex, doing drugs, and so on and so forth. She might freak out and think I have problems or something. XD

Heh, but seriously. The whole sex thing can wait. If not until marriage, at least until I'm twenty-one and older. When I'm fully legal! WOO! O.o...Anyways, as I've heard so many times before, "Better to be safe than sorry." And why the hell am I still going on about this? Moving on...

Um, yeah. Spring break starts next week for me. It's a good thing because I get a break from school, but it's also a bad thing because I'm stuck at home. Alone(well, nobody to talk to anyways). With my parents fighting and Matthew waking me up at seven in the morning. Ah well...-.- But! I haven't been depressed lately! ^-^ Well, maybe just a twinge of sadness here and there, but nothing more! I've been pretty mellow lately. Be proud. And happy. DAMNIT! DO AS I SAY!...Biznitches...o.o;;;

Hrm, I guess that's enough for today. >> <<...I have nothing to do right now...*sniffs*...And I have two hours of art tomorrow. Oh happy joy joy...Well! I'm starting to become hyper, so yeah. Buh bye now.

521199  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-03-13
Written: (7195 days ago)

O.o... Oh my god. Yesterday, meh cousins came over to visit my grandpa. And, well...they gave me quite a shocker. They don't like rap anymore. Which is kind of creepy...I'm so used to them making fun of me for the type of music that I like... o.o They told me that they're into rock now. Especially classic rock. They like Aerosmith! ^-^ And the Ramones. Woo! >> << I noticed this by the band shirts they were wearing. Heh, we were all matching yesterday. O.o The three of us each had on a black band tee, jeans, and Vans. Friggin' awesome.

Anyways, we got bored of staying outside(plus it was nine o'clock at night and there were mosquitos...o.o), so we went to my uncle Joel's "house." (AKA: the garage) And we ended up watching some music videos by the Ramones. Lets see, what else? Oh! My uncle asked us if we wanted to go to this Tiger Army concert with him. We said yes, of course. So, if he can fix his car by then, he's going to take us. He already has the tickets! ^.^ I can't wait.

Um, what else? Hrm, parents are fighting again. Big surprise there. And I didn't get enough sleep last night. I was watching this wedding special on the Food Network...and, um, I didn't stop watching it until midnight. *coughs*So cute...>>;;; Hrm, so I went to sleep around 12:30...and woke up at one in the morning because of my parents. And that didn't stop until four...and I woke up again around six, fell asleep once more, and woke up at 8:30 in the morning. Which was when I gave up on trying to go back to sleep.

Damn, I haven't written a poem in such a long time. I guess I've been too mellow these past few days. Not good, but not bad either. I would rather stay "mellow" than depressed. But eh, family problems might change that soon. Help...-.- *sighs*And they weren't that thrilled about the whole UCLA thing. Heh. Can't please everyone, I guess.

My head hurts now. >.< And...I'm really tired. So, yeah...bye bye now.

519682  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-03-12
Written: (7197 days ago)

Oh dear god, I AM SO FRIGGIN HAPPY! O.O...It has been a very long time since I've been this happy. I mean, yeah good things happen that make me happy a couple of times a month, but not enough to make me cry from joy and start laughing for no reason. o.o

Okay, here's the deal. Today during English, I forgot the book that we were supposed to bring and everyone in my class was like, "Oh my god! The best student didn't bring her book! WOW!"...Stupid fucks. But I'm the one that's almost done with it while most of them still haven't even finished the first part of the book. Which was supposed to be done by Monday. But Mr. Weronka knew that I was almost done, so yeah. Anyways, while everyone was doing their work, he called me up to his desk. I thought I was in trouble and I was so damn nervous. But then he told me about the last assignment that we had done. Which was a paragraph in which we had to write down "What we saw when we looked in the mirror." He asked me if I knew that I had talent. I shook my head, confused. And he said that I do. A lot of it. And he's not the only one saying so. He has this friend/student who is a senior in UCLA(the university that I REALLY want to attend) and she said that I write better than her. And that I have a lot of talent. Ooh, freakeh...O.o I'm like, still a freshman(WOMAN! XD) in high school...o.o;;; Odd.

She asked my teacher to ask me if it would be alright if we were both to meet. She said that she wants to hang out and get to know me and act like a "big sister" to me if possible.Like, she would mentor me. And help me with stuff. So, she gave my teacher her cell number and told him to call her with my answer. I said yes, but that I have to ask my parents. Even though I know that they'll agree. Hey, if it gets me into college, whatever. And I found out that she's training to become a doctor. And I want to become a pediatrition. Which is awesome.(my spelling is off, and my teacher knows it too. XD) Anyways, he's going to tell me on Monday how everything went. Plus he said that the whole book thing could slide and that I didn't have to do the punishment work that he handed out to those who didn't bring their books. He then allowed me to read some poems by William Carlos Williams. I think that was the name. I can't remember. Anyways, I loved the poems. And right now, I am so excited. I can't wait to tell my dad. Maybe he'll be more thrilled than my mom. Eheh. ^.^;;;

Oh! And I also found out that I managed to maintain my 'C' in algebra. THANK GOD! @.@ But I still might take summer school though. Mmhm. >> << So yeah, I basically had a good day today. Except when those fuckers in gym started bothering me.-.- I just ignored them. I really don't want to waste my time with stupid, weed smoking, sex obsessed, can't read for shit, might end up being a hobo on the street, low life scum. Whee, my algebra teacher says that a lot. Besides "shut up" that is. Hehe, low life scum...>>;;;

So, um, yeah. Sorry if I bored you. ME SO SOWWY! O.o;; And...PIZZA TIME! So yeah, bye bye now! ^-^

I wuv you all,
      Stephanie.

517728  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-10
Written: (7199 days ago)

Had two tests today. @.@ One for Algebra and one for English. The one for English was simple. And a district test. Now the one for Algebra, hell no. I didn't understand crap. -.- Ah well, bye bye 'C' hello summer school.(Not like I have much to do during the summer, really.)

And I was going to write Matt's letter during English, but we had the test. Even though I finished it before the class was even over. And that's two hours long. I ended up reading the manga that Jasmine let me borrow. Oh god, it was so good! @.@ I can't wait for the rest! I think it's called Imadoki. Can't remember. >>;;; But I saw Nancy this morning! Whee! *twirls* << >>

Hrm, what else? Oh yeah, had two hours of gym today. Gah. So dull. Oh! And I saw many things on the way home. Besides the usual horny couple making out that is. -.- Um, in the morning I saw lots of cops in front of this store with guns out. O.o And on the way home I saw a car that had been split in two because it had crashed into a street sign, and I saw some people getting arrested soon after that, which was then followed by some more cops in front of this...car place. Not sure about that one, but yeah.

Anyways, that's enough for today. I have a letter to write(finished Nicole's ^-^), so bye bye now.

516707  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-08
Written: (7200 days ago)

My mom is sneaky.-.- She just took a picture of me. EW! >.< The fuglyness! *blinks and pokes bruise on her arm*...Chibi bruise. o.o *shudders* Ew...-.-

Um, school was actually bearable today. O.o My Life Skills teacher didn't come and neither did my art teacher. XD YAY! NO WORK! We watched Holes in Life skills though. Stacy thought I had said "Ho's" *giggles*The look on her face...XD *rolls eyes*Oh yeah, we were watching a porno parody of 'Holes.' Fun, no? Yucky...*blinks*And I got blood taken out yesterday when I went to the doctor.-.- That's where the chibi bruise came from. Yipee. ~.~

But..! I did have work to do in Science though. Heh, I finished all of it. Before the class even ended. I am so badass. *giggles again* And the manga W Juliet is hilarious. >>;;; Stacy loves it. Even though when we were talking about it, we found it quite difficult. Eh, I don't feel like explaining right now. I'm lazy... >> << Whee...and we almost didn't make it to homeroom. Stacy had said something about getting blood taken out, and I found it funny, then I start laughing which made her laugh, and we basically were laughing until our stomachs started hurting. Laughing hard while trying to walk is dangerous. O.o

Eh, I have algebra homework to do(and I'm hyper. Like, a lot), so yeah...^.^;;; Bye now.

515470  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-03-07
Written: (7201 days ago)

Well, I didn't go to school today. I'm sick with a cold and I have to go to the doctor. I tried calling Stacy yesterday to tell her, but she didn't pick up, so she's probably going to call me later once she gets home from school. Unless she didn't go either. Ah well, I'll find out later. Maybe.

I feel like ranting. Mainly because I'm tired of all these changes that don't seem like any form of change. If that makes any sense. Yeah, I'm tired of false hopes. I've been getting a lot of those lately. I'm sick of it too. And I blame my depression on mental issues...>>;;; And...girl stuff. XD *coughs*And also the things people say and do to me on a daily basis. And really, if you want me to shut up about it, just...tell me. Gently. -.- I'm a fragile person. And don't make me feel worse. PLEASE!!! *sniff*...*whimper*<< >> Anyways, yeah, all of them together make...bad things? O.o And...I have no idea what I'm saying anymore...Um, NO SCHOOL FOR ME! WOO!...But I'm lonely...;-;

Whee...I'm hyper. I shouldn't have sugar cookies for breakfest. And I shouldn't have washed that down with the juice that makes me really hyper. It's a no-no. And my nose is stuffy.-.- I can't stop sneezing. And I'm in pain. And I need to stop whining. >.<

I have a baby! XD ....Named Baby. O.o It's a baby giraffe plushie and I wuvs it so. ^-^ Even though Matthew thinks it's a squishy thing that needs to be squished. -.- MY BABY! >.< Um, yeah...with my voice, I would probably sound very odd saying this. X3

*yawns*Ugh...I'm thirsty now.-.- And...I'm tired. And I'm complaining again. o.o Ah well, I should go now. >> << Adios!

514421  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-03-05
Written: (7203 days ago)

Amazing how fast a good mood comes and goes. Ah well, it happens. Hrm, went to the mall today. Got some new things. New pair of shoes. ^-^ Black and white Vans. Because my other ones are starting to get worn out. That and they were the only pair of shoes that I had. O.o

Oh! And I got Nicole's prezzie today. God I hope it fits and god I hope it doesn't break when I mail it.-.- I still need stamps though. I'm going to ask Stacy if she can buy them for me. Seeing as my mom is now home all the time, and I can't really go anywhere without her being nosey. I'll just give Stacy the money to buy them. Or I'll ask her if she has any. But the prezzie is pretty. And green. And pretty. Just like the person who I'm going to give it too. ^-^


Oh! And I also got two new mangas. W Juliet Vol. 1 and Aquarian Age: Juvenile Orion Vol. 2. And I still have some money left over. Yay!

Well, I'm feeling a bit tired right now. And I think I'm catching a cold...*sniffles*...;-;...So yeah...Adios.

513933  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-03-05
Written: (7203 days ago)

I don't feel so good right now. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, and I'm tired. Oh, and because there will be a chance of rain, and because my sister has Saturday school, we aren't going to Six Flags or whatever. I think we're going to the mall and then we're going to take her out to eat. And, yeah...

Oh, and before I forget...

Happy Birthday Vanessa!



Yeah, my sister turned nine today. Didn't remember until I woke up. Hm, I don't know what else to put, so yeah. Whatever. Adios now.
512650  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-03-03
Written: (7205 days ago)

Had a science test today. I believe I did pretty good on it. Even though I couldn't remember crap. Plus, I forgot the homework that I had to do for my Life Skills class. -.- I can still turn it in on Monday, but my grade may go down. I think I left it in my Algebra book. I need to go check. Ick, Algebra homework and a test tomorrow. The horror.-.- There goes my 'C.'

My legs are still sore from yesterday. I am so out of shape. XD My mom said that she and I may start going to the gym. I think she's trying to tell me something. O.o But, she then asked if I wanted ice cream. o.o Oh yeah, we are so gonna make it through that. XD

Ooh! Tomorrow's the fourth. ^-^ And then on Saturday, it's my sister's birthday. So, I may not be on that day. She wants to go to Six Flags, so yeah. We're not sure yet.

Now I have to go work on my homework, so bye bye now.

510673  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-03-01
Written: (7207 days ago)

So, yeah. I think I have the first part of my Life Skills homework done. And that's the whole high school plan...thingeh. This what I've chosen for now.

10th Grade: Fall
English 10A
World History: 1A
H. Geometry 1A
H. Biology 1A
P.E 1A.
Spanish 1A

::Spring::
English 10B
World History: 1B
H. Geometry 1B
H. Biology 1B
P.E 1B
Spanish 1B

11th Grade: Fall
American Lit.
U.S History 1A
Algebra II 1A
Chemistry(Or Physics, whichever) 1A
Photography 1A
Spanish 2A

::Spring::
Cont. Comp (too lazy to write the actual thing...)
U.S. History 1B
Algebra II 1B
Chemistry( " " ")
Photography 1B
Spanish 2B

12th Grade: Fall
AP English 1A
Princ. of Am. Democracy
Calculus 1A
Calligraphy
Internet Publish 1B
Work Experience

::Spring::
AP English 1B
Economics
Calculus 1B
Digital Imaging
Internet Publish 1B
College Class

That's it at the moment. It's bound to change later on, of course. But this what I want for now. I'm hoping for some honors or AP classes as well. I already know what I want to do once I graduate from high school. Two years of community college where I'll hopefully transfer to a university. Hopefully. Many of the classes that I wanted, I couldn't put for now. Seeing as we have to take a computer course now. I wanted Auto Mechanics, in case my car broke down(What car though? O.o) and I didn't have a cell or anything. XD But eh, I can learn later. I also wanted Home Ec and creative writing...and...I'll shut up now. >>;;;

Anyways, what else? Oh yeah, the seniors who came to school every day last semester got an ipod during an assembly held during the first hour of third period today. -.- I had no idea my school could afford 19 ipods... O.o *blinks*Damn...59 messages on deviantArt...>.<

Hrm, what else? Oh yeah...

Happy 15th Birthday Nancy!




Yeah, I'm done now. ^-^ Adios.
509574  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-02-28
Written: (7208 days ago)
Next in thread: 509862

*sniffs* My head hurts...;-; And I'm tired.-.- I only got like five hours of sleep last night. Drama, my friends, lots and lots of drama. But anyways, I guess I'm a bit better now. Woo! >> <<

Hm, I'm already thinking of what classes I want to take in the 10th, 11th, and 12th grade(s). Mainly because that's what I have to turn in for my Life Skills homework. >>;;; But yeah, I know I want to take an English AP class. And I know I want to take four years of math. At least up to Calculas(I can't spell...XD). I'm not sure yet. Oh! And Photography as well. *nods* Yup yup. And I've heard of this Intro To Psychology class, so...yeah. ^.^;;; Oh! And three years of Spanish for Spanish speakers. If I can that is.

I'm not sure about the rest, but...heh. Hrm, I can't wait for June 27th. The last day of school for me. YAY! SUMMER! ^-^ (Even though I sorta hate summer because it gets so hot here in Southern California...-.-)

Ah, crap. I have homework to do. Two for Life Skills, one for Algebra...and I forgot the rest. Wow, aren't I smart? >.< Eh, I'm bored now...so I'm gonna stop with the typingness. Adios.

508047  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-27
Written: (7209 days ago)
Next in thread: 508358

I know you're going to read this Jen. I know you stalk me here on Elftown(whenever you stop using your brothers username and go on yours)...XD STOP WITH THE TOUCHY TOUCHY! O.o You ebil child molester! ;-; When I say I want to be held, that doesn't mean that I want to be groped! O.O *sniffs*I feel so violated sometimes...-.- No wonder you can't keep a boyfriend. Or girlfriend. Or...both. *coughsskankcoughs* >> << But, yeah...making fun of you is fun. But anyways, this is what you get for saying all the crap....and acting like a child molester...>>;;; And no, I don't want you to be my bitch. Or vice versa! o.o;;; Anyways...bye bye now. >> <<

508020  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-02-27
Written: (7209 days ago)

Damn, did I wake up annoyed...Heh, ah well...I'll comfort myself out of it. Doubt anyone really wants to help. I don't think I shoudl've came on. I should've just stayed in my room and finished up on my homework. Blegh...mental stress is a pain. Everything is annoying me now. Not everyone. Everything. And now I feel like crying...meh...whatever...I'll just go...

506894  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-02-26
Written: (7210 days ago)

My god, I am such a fucking idiot. Casey...I'm really sorry if I worried you last night. I really am...you know me...

I'm so tired right now. I didn't get much sleep last night. I hardly do anymore. I can't believe I thought that everything would be alright. All lies as always. Like everything would be alright here. Yeah right...I should've known. But whatever...I can always leave once I turn eighteen. Though I might be faced with a different kind of pain. You never know...

I can't believe I wanted to end it all last night. Well, yes I can. But anyways, so close yet what good would that have done? If I killed myself that would've been a very selfish, stupid, and cowardly thing to do. It would've just caused pain to those who do care about me. That's it. I'm telling my parents once my dad comes home that I need to get special help. I need someone to talk to. Hell, a stranger might work because they won't know crap about me and they won't cause me emotional pain because we don't know each other. That might work. I just need to let everything out before I reach the breaking point. So close yet so far...And god do I hate crying. I cried so much yesterday and this morning. Blegh...And my left arm still hurts. I practically tore into it yesterday with my nails...ugh...

I guess I'll work on my homework soon. I need something to pass the time. Well, sorry for those who actually read this. I'm not a very happy and smart person at the moment. Hardly ever am unless something good happened or I'm hyper. Or someone drugged my drink/food. Whichever. Anywho. I better go now. Gotta finish cleaning...

 The logged in version 

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