...w00t. In twenty days I'll be a woman and no longer a little girl. XD Well, no. I'll just be fifteen more years closer to thirty.-.- But, anyways. Yush, twenty more days until my fifteenth birthday. It would have been celebrated in a grand party...if we had the money and I had said yes. I actually had said yes to the whole thing, but then shit happens, so...yeah. And I was going to have a 10,000 dollar(and more) Sweet Sixteen thing next year, but, nah. Quinceañera would have been better for me, but that's too much money to spend on me. So, a week long trip it is. My parents would actually take me to Japan if I told them I wanted to go. XD
But, I picked Florida. Not just for me, but a place for my family to enjoy it as much as I will...In other words, a place where my siblings won't bitch as much. Can't let my parents know that, or else I'll end up somewhere in Europe or some other state here in the US for a week. o.o
Ah well, I've always thought like that. I've always made sure that everyone else is happy and not give much of a thought about myself. My parents said I was always special like that. ^-^...*coughs*
Heh, they also said I used to be a bit more girly when I was younger too. Always liked to wear dresses and boots...cowgir
Anyways, moving away from boring times. My dad is giving me my cell phone back. Woo! That also reminds me, I called Kisa yesterday. Fun, fun. ^-^ Almost made it to two hours, until my phone decieded to die on me. -.- Ebil thing.
...I wasn't on most of the day because I was watching cartoons with Matthew. In other words, Winnie The Pooh. Which was thus followed by Piglets Big Movie. I was all: "Aww." and crud. >>;;; I haven't watched that show in years, damnit. And I missed Tigger and Eeyore. XD
I remembered to take my meds today.*nods*Yu
...I think there was something I was supposed to do today. But I can't remember. Ah well, it happens. *blinks*Heh, I fell asleep after one in the morning due to watching a two hour long show about a family whose house was haunted. Dude, that freaked me out a lot. Normally, I don't react to those type of things that badly. Until last night, and I'm not even sure why. After the first hour of watching it, I started to feel panicked and paranoid. Really paranoid. I got so scared that I actually started whimpering. XD I'm such an idiot.-.- Ah well, I somehow managed to fall asleep when it was over. Miracle.
Blegh. Anyways. Too lazy to type much more. And I'm also too lazy to check for all the errors that I know I made in this, but eh. Too freakin' bad. So, yeah, I guess that's it for today. Adios mis queridos. <333
Mm, sleepy. -.- S'what I get for going to sleep after midnight. Wasn't exactly my fault, seeing as we got home at 11:30 pm last night. I ended up watching Mad TV for half an hour while waiting for Inuyasha to come on. Watched that and thus tried falling asleep. Took about an hour and half. I think. Eh, can't remember.
Anyways, dad changed his mind, Santa Barbara is too far for us too drive to. So, we're going to Griffith Park. Woo. Though, because everyone went to sleep late, I may be here for a bit longer. Yay.
Blegh, too tired, so this will just be a really short entry. So, adios mis queridos. <333
Well, I probably won't be on tomorrow. If I am, it may not be for long. But you never know, plans could change. Anyways. My parents want to go out for the day. So we'll either be in Santa Barbara or Santa Clarita for most of the day. We'll probably end up leaving a bit late like when we went to San Diego. But, anyways. My dad gave me the job to look for places where we could visit while we are there. Didn't really look that hard for Santa Clarita. Mainly because of Nojoqui Falls, in Santa Barbara. It sounds freakin' awesome. So, maybe we could go there. But I also have to find more places there. I doubt we're going to stay in a park all day. I'd die of boredom. Most likely after my cell phone dies. But the whole Nojoqui Falls thing makes me which I had my camera already.-.-
...Oh god. Salad Fingers is freakin' disturbing. o_o ( http://www.fat
Mmm...The Middle by Jimmy Eat World is playing. Love this song. Makes me feel...good. And not depressed. >> << *hums along*Whee...o
...Can't find anything else in Santa Barbara. Hrm. Though I think I saw another type of park. I just gotta look for it in the website again, seeing as I forgot what it's called. -.- *blinks*Neverm
Woo. Love songs with a perverted edge are now playing on my Launch radio. What fun. O.o *blinks*Mm, almost five. Which means my dad should be back with my siblings soon. And then we're going to visit my grandpa once they get here. And then my mom may get off work by then, so we're all off to eat. Most likely to T.G.I.F's or Chili's. But they're both about an hour away. So, if my mom gets out a bit late, we're just gonna go eat at some Mexican place. >> << Most likely at the place where I might have my birthday dinner. XD
I should probably fix my hair. It's a tangled mess right now. *blinks*Wow. I'm wearing non-boy-like clothes right now. Well, somewhat. Shirt isn't as baggy as most of my other ones. Which are all black and not girly. ^.^;;; I'm wearing my green 'I Need A Hug' baby Eeyore shirt with some somewhat baggy jeans. I swear. If I have my back turned to someone while wearing my baggy black hoodie, and not talking, someone might think I'm a boy with long hair. XD ...Think it's happened before too. Yeah. It did. While Brenda was talking to me during gym and I had my hoodie on...some dumb fuck of a girl was listening in on us. Well, Brenda, really. Because I wasn't talking. Just nodding and stuff. And most of my hair was tucked behind my hoodie by mistake. *snickers*
...Anyways.>>;;; Should probably keep getting ready. So, adios mis queridos. <333
A bad headache, depression and nausea don't go well together. Blegh. I'm depressed and I feel like crying. And I don't even know fucking why. Eh, I'm just gonna blame it on the meds. Yup. S'what I'm gonna do. Blame it all the meds. *blinks*...Stu
I seem to be lacking a lot of enthusiasm at the moment. And I'm not hungry, either. Don't wanna eat. Then again, as I told Kisa, I was eating like a rabid, pregnant woman about an hour ago. Well, not eating as much. Just wanting to eat. A lot. All I had was a pizza pocket and some oreos afterwards. Eh, I think I just screwed up my left arm with scratch marks. Damnit.-.- Felt like something was crawling under my skin.
Meh. Anyways, on Wednesday I got three tubes of blood taken out. Yup. Once again they're checking on my anemia and some other things too. Oh, happy happy joy joy. God, that show was disturbing to watch when I was younger. Anyways...
Matthew seems to have become fond of all my stuffed animals and such. Especially my Nemo plushie and Baby, my giraffe. Nemo is his 'Fishie' and Baby is...Baby. But he also likes my Rabbit and Dog plushies too. *sniffs* He takes them away from me when he goes into my room. Not nice. ;-;
Mm, might be going to some lake either this weekend or next. And if not, we're going to church this weekend. Yup yup. Who knows? My fading faith may return to me once more. It could happen. Sooner or later. Just not at the moment, due to my grandparents forcing religion onto me. Makes me get annoyed. I know it's important to them, but I wish they wouldn't do that.
And I also wish people would fucking answer once you pick up the god forsaken fucking phone. I just wanna smack somebody. And then beat them senseless with a fucking bat. >.< One of these days, I swear to God I'm going to throw the phone against the wall so it DIES AND GOES TO HELL! >.< ...Speaking of phones, my dad has my cell phone. Why? Because his cell phone died and went to hell. I mean, it got broken when he was working. So he has my phone for now. My minutes!!! >.< ...That I don't even use!
...I wanna cuddle. *sobs*I wanna cuddle sooo much right now. ;-;
Oh, I have a panda. Named Sakari. And she rocks. And I got her on Elf12. Where I got the link from someone here and now I can bother my siblings just like they do here. Mmm...sweet revenge. So tasty.
Did I forget to mention that my mom got hit on by a 16/17 year old guy at work? Yeah. She did. Scary thought. I mean, it's not like my mom is ugly. Hell no. She's pretty. Which means I obviously did not get her looks. Just her "big, bubble eyes" as my dad calls them. My eyes were the same shape as hers when I was younger. But now they aren't. They're just the same shade of dark brown as my dad's and not the lighter brown color that my mom has. But anyways, having a teenage dumb fuck hitting on my mom...is weird. Dad should have kicked his arse. >> <<
Oh, that also reminds me...my parents are back together. I've only mentioned this to one person and this has been going on for about two weeks or more.XD Don't wanna explain. It'll take to long. And I'll just confuse everyone. So, yeah. We're all living in the same house again. Driving each other to the brink of insanity. w00t.
Eh, I think I'm feeling slightly better now. Just lonely and wanting affection. *sniffs*Ah well. That's it for today. Adios.
Eh, I'm quite embarrassed right now. S'all my mom's fault. >> << Some song was playing on the radio a while ago and she came into the room and told me that when I was a baby she would always sing that song to me. And she also told me that now everytime that she hears it, it reminds her of me. I'm her first born, so of course I'm special. XD
Well, I looked up the lyrics to the song. And...I like it. It's pretty. >> << I'll post them at the end of this entry.
Anyways.^.^;;; Gonna go see my therapist today. And probably get another blood test today, too. Ooh. Yay. Fun, fun. That reminds me, they didn't call back with the results of my last blood test. >.<
Eheh, I just read the lyrics to the song again, and I'm blushing. @.@ *blinks*That reminds me. I couldn't stop laughing last night. XD Mainly because I Want Your Sex by George Michael started playing on the radio. And, that was basically the first time that I heard the entire song. Sex is natural - sex is fun. Sex is best when it's...one on one. >>;;; I think I was also giggling. A lot. Oh god. XD
Anyways. Better go start getting my things ready. And my meds. Can't forget that. Damnit. *sulks*So, I better go take them now. Adios mis queridos. <333
(Not exactly sure if this song is called Baby, Baby or Heart in Motion. All I know is that it's by Amy Grant. So, yeah. Here it is.)
Baby, baby
I'm taken with the notion
To love you with the sweetest of devotion.
Baby, baby
My tender love will flow from
The bluest sky to the deepest ocean.
Stop for a minute
Baby, I'm so glad you're mine, yeah
You're mine.
Baby, baby
The stars are shining for you
And just like me I'm sure that they adore you.
Baby, baby
Go walking through the forest
The birds above a' singing you a chorus.
Stop for a minute
Baby, they're so glad you're mine, oh yeah
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there's just no getting over you.
Baby, baby
In any kind of weather
I'm here for you always and forever.
Baby, baby
No muscle man could sever
My love for you is true and it will never
Stop for a minute
Baby, I'm so glad you're mine
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there's just no getting over you.
And ever since the day you put my heart in motion
Baby I realize that there's just no getting over you.
Over you.
Baby, baby
Always and forever
Baby I'm so glad that
Here for you baby
So glad you're mine
Baby I'm so glad that
When I think about you it makes me smile
Baby, baby be mine
Baby I'm so glad that
Don't stop giving love
Don't stop, no
Baby I'm so glad that you're mine
Baby I'm so glad
Baby I'm so glad that
When I think about you it makes me smile.
(Fuck with my heart) I'll teach you what it's like.(To be so used)That you'll have to clean....
Mm, six hours of sleep. I couldn't fall asleep last night. I was in bed at around eleven. But I ended up listening to music for an hour. Then at midnight I turned off the radio and tried to go to sleep. But, because my room was stuffy and hot, and my fan was just giving off hot air, I had trouble falling asleep. I thought I had been up for at least an hour. But when I looked over at my alarm clock, it was already a few minutes passed two. But by then I was ready to pass out, so I somehow ended up falling asleep. Woo.
*hums to Choke on This absently*...An
Mm, tired. S'what I get for listening to Spanish love songs at eleven at night. *yawns slightly* Feel like reading 6x9 College right now. God, that webcomic is hilarious. >> << Lily is awesome. Yay. Vampire. XD And I lurve Jack's glasses. o.o
...Moving on. Parents said that if I don't like the new school that I'm going to, and if we lose the house, we might end up moving before I turn sixteen. Either to Santa Barbara, Santa Monica, somewhere in Northern California, out of state, or...Canada. My dad wants to live in Canada. XD But, if we move out of state, we might go to Oregon with my cousin Gloria and her family. They want to move too. Eh, it's probably cheaper to live out of state than to live here in Southern California.-.-
*blinks*Oh yeah. I finished Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ten minutes before midnight on Monday. The identity of the Half-Blood Prince was shocking.-.- But, the book was good. Slightly dissapointing and depressing, but it was okay. Almost started crying when I finished reading it though.>.< Now I just have to wait for the 7th book...
Whee. I might go to Six Flags Magic Mountain with my cousin Gloria and Stacy. And my dad said he might buy us three those passes to get on the best rides there. I'm gonna die. XD Oh well. Hope Stacy can go. My aunt said that Gloria and her brother can go. Though I don't think nine people can fit in our van. o.o Just seven. Hrm. We have yet to figure that out.
But, anyways, guess that's it for now. So, adios mis queridos.
...That dirt stuck in your plastic finger nails. And just the scent of you is enough(To make me sick).
You're Cute When You Scream by Senses Fail
I'm feeling emotionally drained again. That, and I have an awful headache and my stupid sunburned arms are getting on my nerves. Mm, I need something to cuddle with. I'm in desperate need of that. Heh. XD
Se fue mi amor, donde estas corazon? *hums the rest* Mm, anyways. Almost done with Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm currently in the middle of chapter 23. Took another break, or else I would've been a bit passed that now.
Ha. I feel like crying. Dear fucking God, not again. *shudders and sighs*I'm tired of being a sobbing, whimpering mess when I'm alone in my room in the middle of the night. Such as yesterday. But I was being an idiot yesterday. As always. *sighs again*Woo. Therapy this Wednesday...
...I think I'll call Stacy later this week to see if she still wants to go to see a movie. I have to make sure with my mom though. Hope she says yes. I need to get away for a while. Ah, fuck. Tears. Grr. I can't cry now. I don't want my dad asking me about it like he did yesterday. And he told me that if he see's me crying again, he's going to make sure that I don't get online until I start school. He said it's going to mess up the chance of me getting better due to therapy. Great. Now my eyes are itchy too. DAMNIT! >.<
...If I keep biting my bottom lip, I'm going to end up making it bleed again. -.- *sighs softly and shrugs*Better stop now. So. Adios.
So close to staying up all night reading, but at around two or three in the morning, I almost passed out. Then again, I was living off of less than seven hours of sleep from the day before. Heh. I was awake from eight until three in the morning, if I remember correctly. Well, I was in bed by two in the morning, but I couldn't sleep. Damn sunburn and an annoying pain in my legs. Blegh. That, and I had a small breakdown a few hours before that, and I was trying to comfort and calm myself down. Mm, I'll probably end up talking about it with my therapist sooner or later. Oh, fun.
Eheh, saw Inuyasha on Saturday. I reacted to that episode in so many different ways. XD -->
O.O...>.<...;-;...XD...
That was basically me through the entire episode. Ahem. >> <<
Mm, San Diego was pretty cool. Everything was going fine...until I got home.*shrugs*B
Think I'm going to Six Flags the day before my birthday. But I think I'll only be hear for half of the day or less on the actual day of my birthday. Oh well. At least I might spend the day with my cousin Gloria and Stacy. Maybe.
God, Matthew is giving me such a fucking headache right now. And I'm too tired at the moment to be put in a bad mood so early in the morning. Fuck. My hands are twitching now.-.- I better go. So, that's enough for now. Adios mis queridos.
Well, today I'm going to be in San Diego until, probably, after eight o'clock in the evening. Eh, my time anyway. So, I doubt I'll be home. Seeing as it's a two hour drive to and from San Diego for me. So, if we leave at eight from there, I should be home by ten. And then it's off for me to continue reading. The Iliad and the new Harry Potter book. Which I got yesterday. And am reading it to annoy my siblings. And it's working. XD Anyways, almost time to go. So, yeah. Probably won't be back until Monday. Almost 8:30am, so....adios mis queridos. <333
No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal. No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras, no puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal. Y andar arrojando a los cerdos miles de perlas...
Well, I had therapy yesterday. It was okay, I guess. Even though my parents had to go in with me. Which is where they found out about my suicidal thoughs from before. And my present thoughts of just hurting myself. And how all the verbal abuse I've gotten since I was little has affected me. Which made them both cry. What fun. -.-
Eh, I have to go again next Wednesday, I think. Ah well, the lady told me I am significantly depressed. She also asked me if I thought the tv talked to me. That's her why of asking me if I'm paranoid. That question resulted in me just starring at her for a minute or so in pure silence. Then I asked her is she meant paranoid. And she said yes. Well, no shit Sherlock. The commericals talk to me. They try to sell me stuff. And tell me to go places. And then once, there was an ad for phone sex. And that just scared the hell out of me. O.O
But, moving on. I don't think I'll be on much this weekend. So, the only way to contact me would be by my cell phone. If I even pick up that is. I'll be gone for most of the day on Saturday. Maybe. I think it'll only be during the evening. And then on Sunday, I'll be in San Diego for a while. My dad told me that if my mom continues getting the help she needs, then we might be able to be a normal dysfunctional family again. (Don't ask)
Hrm, we'll see. Oh, and on Sunday my parents and I are going to be talking about what we're gonna do for my birthday. My mom was thinking of doing something at her Christian church, but my dad wanted me to have some sort of kick back type of things with my friends. But I know them. At least two will go, while the others always end up in trouble for something. *shrugs* We might also go to Santa Monica Pier for a bit during the evening with my family and maybe Stacy and her family too. That would be fun. ^.^
And we might also start talking about next year. My parents wanted me to have a Sweet Sixteen, seeing as they said they screwed up the chance of me having a Quinceañera, but my dad said that all together it may end up costing $10,000. Which quickly made me say that we should go on a trip at least. If we're going to spend so much money, we should at least go somewhere. We might end up going to Oregon, Florida, Mexico, or somewhere in Europe for a week or so during July or August. Most likely during August. Possibly a few days before my birthday, so we can come back after my birthday. I don't know. We'll see.
Yay. I just found four of my CD's. The Sex Pistols, The Ramones, Social Distortion, and The Pretenders. Yayness. ^-^ I forgot I had them. >> <<
Hrm, guess that's it for now. Adios mis queridos.
Ay amor me duele tanto, me duele tanto que no creas más en mis promesas. Ay amor es una tortura perderte...Yo se que no he sido un santo, pero lo puedo arreglar amor...
La Torura by Shakira feat. Alejandro Sanz
Ay payita mía
Guárdate la poesía
Guárdate la alegría pa'ti
No pido que todos los días sean de sol
No pido que todos los viernes sean de fiesta
Tampoco te pido que vuelvas rogando perdón
Si lloras con los ojos secos
Y hablando de ella
Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que te fueras sin decir a donde
Ay amor, fue una tortura perderte
Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón
Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós
No puedo pedir que el invierno perdone a un rosal
No puedo pedir a los olmos que entreguen peras
No puedo pedirle lo eterno a un simple mortal
Y andar arrojando a los cerdos miles de perlas
Ay amor me duele tanto
Me duele tanto
Que no creas más en mis promesas
Ay amor es una tortura perderte
Yo se que no he sido un santo
Pero lo puedo arreglar amor
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón
Mejor te guardas todo eso
A otro perro con ese hueso
Y nos decimos adiós
No te bajes, no te bajes
Oye negrita mira, no te rajes
De lunes a viernes tienes mi amor
Déjame el sábado a mi que es mejor
Oye mi negra no me castigues más
Porque allá afuera sin ti no tengo paz
Yo solo soy un hombre arrepentido
Soy como el ave que vuelve a su nido
Yo se que no he sido un santo
y es que no estoy hecho de cartón
No solo de pan vive el hombre
Y no de excusas vivo yo.
Solo de errores se aprende
Y hoy se que es tuyo mi corazón
(AD LIBS)
Ay ay ay
Ay, todo lo que he hecho por ti
Fue una tortura perderte
Y me duele tanto que sea asi
Sigue llorando perdón
Yo... yo no voy
A llorar por ti
English Translation
I'm not asking that every day be sunny
I'm not asking that there be a party every Friday
Nor do I ask you to come back begging forgiveness
If you're crying with dry eyes,
Speaking about her
Oh my love, it hurts so much
It hurts so much
That you left without saying a word
Oh my love, losing you was torture
I know I haven't been a saint
But I can make it up to you
Man doesn't live on bread alone
Nor do I live on excuses
We only learn from mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours
Better save that for yourself
Take that bone to some other dog
And let's say goodbye
I can't ask winter to spare a rose bush
I can't ask an elm tree to bear pears
I can't ask the eternal of a mere mortal
And go about casting thousands of pearls before swine
Oh my love, it hurts so much
It hurts so much
That you no longer trust my promises
Oh my love, losing you has been torture
I know I haven't been a saint
And I'm not made of stone
Man doesn't live on bread alone
Nor do I live on excuses
We only learn from our mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours
Better save that for yourself
Take that bone to some other dog
And let's say goodbye
Listen, baby, don't you go
Listen, baby, don't get angry
From Monday to Friday you have my love
Give Saturday to me and you'll be better off
Listen baby, don't punish me anymore
Without you, out there I have no peace
I'm just a repentant man
I'm the bird that returns to its nest
I know I haven't been a saint
And I'm not made of stone
Man doesn't live on bread alone
Nor do I live on excuses
We only learn from our mistakes
And today I know my heart is yours
Better save it for someone foolish enough to believe you and say Goodbye
(AD LIBS)
Oh after all I've done for you
It was such a torture to lose you
It hurts me so that it's like this
Keep on crying sorry
I…
I'm not going
To cry over you
Had a third mysterious nose bleed and I ended up coughing up blood too. Not that long ago. -.- Parents asked me if they wanted me to go to the emergency room just in case it was my anemia. I declined. I told them that if it happened again, I'd tell my dad and then my mom would call me tomorrow morning to see if I needed to go to the doctor. I think it's just the heat. But, eh. We'll see. Anyway. It's nine right now. So I probably won't be on long. So, yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3
Ay, amor tu eres mi religin.Tu eres luz, tu eres mi sol. Abre el corazn, abre el corazn....
O.O Oh my freakin' God. I actually found an English translation of Eres Mi Religion by Mana. God, I love this song. And it isn't bad in English, either. I lurve Mana. I'm so in lurve with them. They rock. I'll have the translation at the bottom of this. Ah. One of my favorite Spanish love songs EVER. Then again, I have many. Eheh...
Ooh. Yay. Regreso A Casa by Moenia is playing on my Launch radio. Yay. Wuv. Lots of wuv. I just miss listening to Tardes Negras by Tiziano Ferro. It was beautiful in Italian. So sexiful. It's pure and utter bliss whenever I hear that song. Spanish or Italian. I love it. XD
Anyways. Stacy called today at around one or two. I can't remember. But, yeah. She called. We might go to the theatre this Saturday. Most likely to see Charlie And The Chocolate Factory. At a very early time. And thank god she isn't going with me just because Johnny Depp is in it. That man is a freakin' wonderful actor. And I adored him in Finding Neverland. But I know many people who would just go with me for him. And then not shut up through most of the movie. Which would result in me magically finding a bat and beating them senseless with it so they could shut up and let me enjoy the freakin' movie. -.- But, yeah. Once I find out the showtimes, we might go. Then if we're not too poor, I'll see if we can go to the arcade right in front of the theatre. But I doubt that much. Ah well. Popcorn, soda, and a movie. Fun, fun. <3
Oh god, presents. Too many presents this year. In other words, to many important birthdays. Mine doesn't count. I don't really care about it anymore. And I don't know what I want either. Even though it's my birthday, I'm like the last person you should ask that. -.- My usual replies are: I don't know. Get me whatever you want. Or...You don't have to get me anything. <-- Which is true. I'm fine. I don't want people spending money on me. That'll just result in me wasting birthday money on them. As a small form of revenge yet love. o.o Which might also result in me getting hurt by them. Either because they're freakin' happy about it or mad that I wasted a lot of money on them. >> <<
...No Rain by Blind Melon is playing now. XD I don't know why, but this song makes me laugh. A lot. o.o
I keep getting distracted from reading The Iliad a lot. Like today, everytime I was reading, Matthew came into my room to watch cartoons. Which resulted in me watching them with him. And almost falling asleep afterwards. It's been another one of those lazy days, I suppose. Hrm, I think my dad said something about going to the Long Beach Aquarium(Aquarium Of The Pacific) by the end of this month. So Matthew can see the FISHIES! Woo! And then Sea World. And if we're not too broke, Legoland. Whee! XD
And then next year, I'm probably going to have one of those Sweet Sixteen things. I've seen them on tv. But that was on MTV out of boredom. And the parties were for the really rich girls who got fancy cars and parties in clubs and stuff. -.- I'm too poor for that crud. Anyways. I'm probably going to be in Stacy's Quinceañera. Her birthday is in October, but the party and such have been pushed towards the Thanksgiving weekend. I'm probably gonna get an off the shoulder dress. Even though my hair is going to be tickling my shoulders all night. Oh, great. -.- Ah well. I'll see.
Mm, mood is going down again. Some things were said. The usual. And I just got my second mysterious nosebleed of the day. Blegh. Time to lay down. So, yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3 <3 <3
Hace tanto tiempo corazn, viva en el dolor, en el olvido. Ay, amor eres mi bendicin, mi religin, eres mi sol que cura el fro.
Eres Mi Religión by Maná
I was walking down the streets
Soaked in forgetfulness
I was walking through the parks with ghosts
And with fallen angels
I was without light, without sun
Without any sense, I was dying
Flying over the sea with broken wings
Ay, love, you appeared in my life
And healed my wounds
Ay love, you are my moon, you are my sun
You are my daily bread
And you appeared with your light
No, never leave, oh don’t leave, no
You are the glory of both of us
Till death
In a world of illusion
I was without hope
I was abandoned
I lived without reason
But then you came
Ay, love, you are my religion
You are light, you are my sun
Open your heart, open your heart
So long ago my love
I lived in pain, in oblivion
Ay love, you are my blessing, my religion
You are my sun which cures the cold
You appeared with your light
No, no, don’t abandon me
No, never my love
The glory of both of us
You are the sun, you are my everything
all of you is a blessing
In a world of illusion
I was without hope
I was abandoned
I was without reason
But then you came
Ay, love, you are my religion
You are light, you are my sun
Open your heart, open your heart
Ay, love, you are my religion
You are light, you are my sun
Open your heart, open your heart
I’ll always live by your side with your light
Oh, oh, oh
I’ll die by your side
You are the glory and the blessing
Oh, oh, oh
You are my blessing
You are my religion
Oh, oh, oh
You are my eternity
And you are even my saving grace
Oh, oh, oh
I didn’t have anything
And today I have you with the glory
With the glory, with the glory
Love, love, love, love, love
You are my blessing
You are my light, you are my sun
Marry me girl be my fairy to the world, be my very own constellation. A teenage bride with a baby inside...
Ah...pain is back. But I don't think it's because of what I had earlier. No, what's left of that is me not really wanting to eat due to fear of throwing it back up. Blegh. Ah well, hopefully it'll go away soon. Hopefully.
Again, I don't know if I'll be on much today. We're going to the doctor because Matthew needs to get a full body X-Ray. They told my parents that they're worried that he may be growing to fast for his age. So was I when I was younger but they didn't do that to me. ;-; *sniffs*...Heh
Mm, started reading The Iliad today. If it weren't for the fact that I had to go clean and stuff, I would be too engrossed in the book to even be online right now. Eheh. Love it so far. And my bookmark is so pretty. And shiny. XD
Ugh, pain got worse. So I think I'll go soon. I also have to go change. So, yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3 <3 <3
Getting high on information, and buy me a star on the boulevard. It's Californicatio
Californicatio
I have a new book! ^.^ And a new bookmark. And it's SEXEH! XD It's a pretty green bookmark that says Joy on it. I lurve it. And the book that I got is The Iliad by Homer. I'm gonna start reading it tonight. But right now, I'm gonna get some rest. My legs are so freakin' sore. Gah. XD Anyways. Yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3 <3 <3
She shines in a world full of ugliness, she matters when everything is meaningless...
Sick. So freakin' sick. My stomach is killing me and I have a fever. I didn't even get more than four hours of sleep last night. Blegh, tiredness. -.- I doubt I'm going to eat much today. I'll just end up throwing it up. Woo, like anybody wanted to hear that. >> << Eheh, sorry. Pwease don't hurt me. ;-;
Ow, pain. >.< I need hugs...and medicine. o.o
Mm, I feel like listening to Nine Inch Nails. I lurve them. ^-^ I just don't lurve the pain in my stomach. Evil thing. *sighs* Anyways, I might be going to the mall sometime during the weekend. And on my birthday, I may not be here. Well, maybe I won't be here on the day before my birthday. Seeing as my birthday is on a Sunday this year. I think we're going to Sea World. For Matthew only. So he can see teh FISHIES! XD
...And maybe next year I might be gone for a week or so. ROAD TRIP! XD My dad said probably to Oregon. Or as far as we can go through the states by the Mexican border. Woo! >> <<
...This was pure and utter randomness by the looks of it. So I better stop now. Adios mis queridos. <3
Fragile...she doesn't see her beauty, she tries to get away. Sometimes it's just that nothing seems worth saving. I can't watch her slip away...
Fragile by Nine Inch Nails
Conquest to the lover, and your love to the fire, permanence unfolding in the absolute...
Well, I just got back from spending some time with my mom and siblings. Or in other words, I'm trying to get over a headache. They basically left me to take care of the things and leftover pizza while they went off to play arcade games. I think I almost fell asleep. I spaced out and yeah. Anyways, played a few games, got bored, and went back to taking care of the things. It was an on and off cycle.
Now I', back home with an even bigger headache all thanks to my sister. It's her own damn fault she keeps on riping her homework because her freakin' attitude. And then she starts yelling and bitching about it. And me and my dad aren't in the best state of mind at the moment. S'why we're all taking therapy soon. Woo. And I can't handle all the noise either. Makes me feel nervous and scared for some reason. And I just started crying because of it. Yay. More moodyness, desire to me comforted(and held) and lack of affection. So much fun. </3
Dude, I feel so complex when it comes to how I want people to comfort me. -.- I don't want any of their bullshit words and looks of pitty but I also don't want to feel ignored, worthless and unloved. Hell, I don't know what I want really. But, yeah...
Poetry, poetry, poetry. I almost wrote another poem yesterday. Or was it the day before that? Eh, not too long ago. I was gonna write another one of my angsty love poems, by the looks of it. I started it off with Lack of affection... and then stopped. o.o Now I feel like writing a non-angsty love poem. Yay! Lurve meh. <3
So, yeah. That's it. Headache is going away and I'm starting to feel mellowish. And that's it. Adios mis queridos.
Forgivness is the ultimate sacrifice. Eloquence belongs, to the conqueror.
Sad Statue by System Of A Dowm
This may never start, I'll tear us apart, can I be your enemy?
Well, I think I'm only going to be on for a little bit today. Unless I can mangage to get back on later tonight. Going to go visit my grandpa in about an hour. It's barely going to be 4:30pm. And I don't know what time we're going to leave because they make the visitors leave at eight at the place where he is staying. Unless he was taken back to the hospital. Because I heard my grandma talking to my aunt about that on the phone. Eh, I don't know.
Anyways, tomorrow, I doubt I'll be on much. Maybe in the morning and sometime during the evening. But other than that, I'm going to be over with my mom for most of the day. So, yeah. Ooh, before I forget. I accidently found a website that has free J-Rock audio and video. And anime too. o.o It does look a little off, but it's free damnit. >> << Link's in my description. Der. .__.;;;
So...moving on. Guess that's it. So yeah, adios mis queridos.
Losing half a year, waiting for you here, I'd be your anything...
Memory by Sugarcult
Mm, I think starting today I may not be on as much anymore. Because of the divorce, I'm going to be going back and forth between my parents from now on. Today I'm going to visit my grandfather for a while, seeing as he's been placed in some sort of home, and then I'm going to the mall with my dad and siblings to get some clothes for my sister. My dad can't leave us alone or else he'll ge in trouble. Plus my dad needs me to help him with my sister. In other words, I have to help her find things she likes and then wait for her in the dressing room. And the next year I'm going to have so much fun telling her about the "joys" of being female. Woo.
I mean, now me and my sister are the only girls in the house. There's my dad and my two brothers. And I'm older than my sister, and my brothers too, so eh. I have to start being a bit more nice to her. Anyways, Sunday...I may be here. But not as much because I doubt my dad will let be on as much. And on Monday, we're going to be with my mom. Well, it's the 4th of July, so a couple of people may not be on much on the day anyway.And then there's Wednesday. I may not be here on that day either. And I think we may have to go with our mom next weekend. But, until she gets a place of her own, we're only going to be with her until some time in the evening.
I guess that's how my summer is going to be. I'm wondering as to what's going to happen on my birthday. Blegh. But then when school starts, I'm going to be busy with homework and such, so...I'm not sure. We'll see. Well, I have my cell phone, so I can atleast talk to some people that way. Eh, it's all confusing. And I may have to move again. If we can't keep the house, my dad is going to have to rent one here in South Gate. Most likely with two or three rooms. This house has four rooms, two bathrooms(Well, one and a half), a house in the back, a garage, and living room and such. Ah well, doesn't matter.
Then my dad might give Shadow away. Eh, he's our dog. Well, he might give him away because he was basically my grandpa's dog in the first place. He grew to love him, really. So...*shrugs*
Eh, there was more that I was going to put down, but now I can't remember. So, yeah. Adios.