Oh, wow. It's December. 2005 is coming to an end. Thank god. Hopefully '06 is better. If not much, a little bit. This year has basically been hell. And my depression is still pretty bad. But eh, moving on. Yay. Cold by Crossfade is playing. I love that song. Along with Northern Star by Hole. <3 I cherish all my misery alone...
Oh, and me and Adriana are planning on dressing Emo next semester. Ehehe. Little emo girlies. Hm, maybe. I'll try anyway. Mm, now I have Emo Kid by Adam and Andrew stuck in my head. God, that song is hilarious.

...Eh. I guess today was okay. The kids of tomorrow don't need today, when they live in the sins of yesterday. <-- Billy Talent. Love. <3 So, anyway. Might not be on tomorrow and Saturday. Tomorrow, I might go out. And on Saturday, I'll be gone for most of the day due to Vanessa's Quinceañera. Oh, and I've remembered that my Tinkerbell box that I bought at Disneyland over a year ago is also a music box. Slow Stephy. Can't believe I forgot that. I only remembered last night when I thought I saw something in the back of it, and then turned it and opened the lid, and 'lo and behold, music started playing. I love music boxes. They're precious and facinating. For me, anyway.

Well, I have homework to finish. So yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3

Thanksgiving was great...

♡
♡
♡

...Until I got home.
I left in a bad mood.
And I came back in a bad mood.
At least I had some happiness for three hours.
Got to eat, hang out with my cousins, and watch parts of the new Green Day DVD.
Along with the usual Solis and Robles "bickering," jokes, memories, and plans for Christmas and the future.
It's always amusing. And nice.
Gloria got some of it on video.
Heh, somewhat amusing.
But that came to an end with the usual bull shit.
So whatever. Shit happens.
And that's this year's Thanksgiving.

Can't wait for Christmas. ♡

Yayness. Crawl Straight Home by Horrorpops. So sexy.>> << ...And I just turned the volume a bit higher to annoy my siblings. They woke me up.-.- ...Can't wait for the 30th of December though. Probably going to a concert with my uncle Joel and two of my cousins. Yay. ^-^ Gonna go see Reverend Horton Heat with Horrorpops at the House Of Blues in Anaheim. Can't wait. *blinks*Oooh. Pretty Girls Make Graves. Awesome. <3

Anyways. Might not be on much today. Homework, going to the cementary, and more homework, and then my aunt's house, and then more homework. Though I don't have school tomorrow either, so I can finish the rest tomorrow and on Sunday. Though I have Quinceañera practice on Friday and then the actual Quinceañera is on Saturday, so I won't be here that day. Though I promise to take pictures! Sadly. -.- Oh, and I confessed yesterday.XD I thought I was gonna be the only one, but...everyone in the group had to confess at church. But yeah.>>;;; Better go and keep working on my homework. Adios mis queridos. <3

So, we might have to move. Why? Well, my parents are legally divorced, really. But they got back together to try and work things out. But, it's basically gotten worse than before. So, my mom is making threats of selling the house. I believe it's under her name and such. Or both their names. I don't know. My dad said we'll either move somewhere else, or he'll ask my uncle to help us out. Last night was basically hell and I'm not about to get into that. I just cried alot. Meh. I was crying most of the day yesterday, so whatever. *shrugs*Oh, and no Sweet Sixteen for me. Ah well. Big social gathering's aren't my type of thing, anyway. Mm, moving away from that. I won't be on much today. Gotta go to the mall to get some things for Stacy's Quinceañera which might take a while, and then I have practice. So yeah. Adios now.

Probably going to mall tomorrow. And then my aunt's house for my cousin Patty's birthday party. And Sunday I have to go to Quinceañera practice. Woo. Oh, and Adriana came over today. And I still haven't gotten my dress for Stacy's Quinceañera. Damn thing is too long, though. Oh well. Guess I have to wear heels. And probably kill myself while wearing them. God, I hate being clumsy. People already think I'm a cutter. Which I'm not, by the way. School was pretty much boring today. Library wasn't open so I couldn't return the manga. Maybe Monday, I guess. Christmas is probably gonna suck this year. My dad and my uncle still aren't really talking, and my parents still owe my great-aunt $25,000 that she lent us when we almost lost the house. So, we're probably just gonna stay home and...sleep on Christmas. Or try to, anyway. Seeing as Matthew and Vanessa like waking up early. Which causes me to wake up soon after them. Then Peter. And finally my parents.

And I also might have a Sweet Sixteen, but because of the cost...I probably shouldn't. Same reason as to why I didn't have a Quinceañera. I'll settle for going out to eat and some money for school stuff that I can pick.*shrugs*I'm not picky. As for Christmas, I have a few people to give gifts to: Stacy, Vanessa, Adriana, Bernadette, and Matt. No idea if I'll have money, though. Maybe. Hopefully. *sighs*Ah well. Hopefully I don't get much homework over winter break. Maybe I can actually get some sleep. Which is probably what I should be doing right now, but eh. Whatever. Anyways. Guess that's it. Adios. <3

...Cha-cha-cha! Charmin! XD ...I swear. Everytime I go to my Geometry class, that song just begins to play in my head for nearly the entire class period. Yes...anyway. Mr. Squishy is awesome. Eheh, don't ask. Random bull crud between me, Adriana and her ex-boyfriend. But, yeah. Anyways. Club meeting tomorrow. And Stacy made JV in the girl's soccer team at school. w00t! <3 Because their first game is going to be at some other school, I won't be able to see her play until their second game. I think. I'm not sure. Uhm, got out of school early today. And we're going to have a practice lock-down at school on Friday. And I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow. I think. I'm not sure. We'll see. *blinks*Hm, too much homework. So I better go and finish it. Adios. <3

Meh. I'm crying again and my eyes are stinging badly.
I should probably go to bed.
Though I'll probably break down once I'm in my room.
And I still have to read and study for history.
But my headache is back and I can't concentrate on anything.
Besides what people are telling me.
And as usual, it makes me feel worse.
So now, instead of trying to keep from crying, I am.
Whatever. Shit happens. Have to get over it.
Mm, leaving soon.
Gotta go take a shower and get my things ready.
So again, whatever. Adios.

Strange. I've been in a good mood all day. Somewhat...giddy. O.o It's odd. But oh well. I'm listening to Paranoid by Black Sabbath and I might go to Cafe Kashmir to see some bands play tonight. I'm going to see if my cousin wants to go with me. Or maybe Stacy. And if not them...Adriana! Or I could just stay home, watch cartoons and work on homework. Fun, fun. >>;;; Ah well. I'm just relaxing today due to no school. And now I'm listening to Pa'Ti Pa'Mi.

Well, lesse...some relatives from Mexico are over. And...I'm stil giddy. O.o Hrm, bored. So I'm gonna go and try to change the layout on my Myspace page again. Don't like how it looks right now with the premade crud. So, yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3

Had a history test today. No idea how I did on it. Hopefully I managed to at least pass it with a C. Seeing as I didn't study and had to rely on my bad memory. Meh. Anyways. Found out I got an A+ on my geometry test. Adan did too, seeing as I helped him out with nearly all of it on the day we took it. Even though we both had different tests. Ah well. Made him happy. And I like making people happy. So, yeah. Whatever. Let's see...biology teacher wasn't at school again. I'm basically ready to give up on trying to continue to study for that damn test that was supposed to be given to us last Wednesday. But oh well.

Mm, two girls pissed me off today while on the bus ride home. Seeing as those bitches were making fun of an old man and that really ticked me off. And because the bus was crowded and I was standing right by one of the girls, whom were both sitting down, I jammed my knee into her arm while "making room" for some people to pass. God, I hate people like that. Jesus fucking Christ, just thinking about it is making me angry again. And I don't like getting angry. It turns into sadness later on. Meh. Whatfuckingever. Lesse...went through school in pretty much a dazed state of mind. And I lied to Adriana. She wanted to come over on Thursday, but I told her that I was going to be busy with Stacy's Quinceañera thing. Which I'm not. And I feel bad and all, but c'mon. She only comes over to use the computer because her mom won't let her use the one they have, and I spend basically two hours or so sitting by her doing fuck nothing. I'd rather be laying in bed, watching cartoons or something. But ah well. She can come next Friday, I guess.

Me and Stacy are hoping that by next year, the school library will have more manga to offer. Right now, the selection is limited. Seeing as the school is still expecting more books to come in. Library is only half filled up. I've managed to find some good manga though. Which include Ranma 1/2 and Kare Kano. Teh awesomeness. I'm also still reading Trickster's Choice by Tamora Pierce. This is the second time I've checked out that book. Seeing as I'm only a bit passed half way done with it. I don't have much time to read due to school, so I'm hoping this three day weekend will give me a chance to catch up on some much needed reading time. Unless I have alot of homework. Which I hope I don't.

Eh, starting to feel a bit sleepy. I'll just finish up on my geometry homework and whatever else I have to do. Such as eat. So I can go take a shower and take my sleeping pill. Seeing as my parents are fighting again. Woo. What fucking fun. The constant fighting is really making me want to say no to the whole idea of having a Sweet Sixteen. Not worth it. I'm not social enough for it, anyway. Heh. I'd probably faint from the uneasy feeling of everyone watching me and being around such a large crowd. I've come close, before. XD Meh, I'll just stay home. Eat cake. And watch tv. Or maybe actually sleep for more than six hours! <3 Heh, dunno. I'll see what happens. I have until Janurary to make up mind. Right now I have school to worry about. And my health issues. Damnit Stephy. Stop getting fucked up every other month. -.- Anyways! Back to geometry homework. Buh bye now. <3

...*dances*>> <<

So anyway! Getting ready to go to the mall with Adriana. And...my brother. Because he wants to go. Blegh. Anyways. I have to go take a shower soon. And I probably won't be back for long later today. Maybe for a little bit during the evening. But I'm going out to eat with my family tonight, so yeah. I'll probably be back in the morning. Seeing as I have anime to watch and two big tests to study for Monday, I doubt I'll manage to get online once I get back home. So, adios mis queridos! <3

Mm, the semester is going to end soon. Sometimes next week. And I believe grades are due tomorrow. Hopefully I'm still doing well in all my classes. Not exactly sure though. Anyways, I told my mom that I didn't want a Sweet Sixteen. It isn't worth it. I'll just stay home or whatever. Too much money and stress for that crap. It doesn't matter. I'm not the most social person ever, so a big party would probably be uncomfortable for me, I guess. Plus I have summer school and other stuff to worry about.*shrugs*Such as my grades and by the looks of it. My health. Ah well. I'll see what happens.

I've fallen in love...with the Horrorpops. Even more so than I already was. They freakin' rock. Just like Tiger Army. w00t. Black Sabbath. Anyways. Back to the Horrorpops. My uncle burned me their newest CD. Yayness. Awesome. <3 Though I want the other album --> Hell Yeah! <-- Really want to listen to Baby Lou Tattoo and Emotional Abuse. But two of my favorite songs from the album that I currently have are the following: Walk Like A Zombie and Hit 'N' Run.

They freakin' rock. Though Freaks in Uniforms is also awesome. Anyways. Meh. Not feeling well. Emotionally and physically. My legs feel bruised even though they aren't. And it hurts to touch them. And I have to study for my biology and geometry tests tomorrow. Fun, fun. Anyways. Guess I better go and study for biology first. I have too many notes for that. So, adios mis queridos. <3

Hm, been a few days since I typed anything in here. So, I guess I probably should post something. Anything. No idea what, but I'm sure I can rant or write random bull crud. Maybe.

Let's see...I've just been getting extremely annoyed by the people at school who all think they're as bad as the movie Gigli. But anyways. That's been pretty normal since I was five. So, whatever. I've currently been finding new bands to lurve over the last couple of days. Most of which are infamous garage bands. But they all rock. Some of the bands that I lurve at the moment are: Go Betty Go, 7Seconds, The Dead Pets, Kill Your Idols, .A Change of Pace, Underminded, Greeley Estates, Children of Bodom, 1 Casting Curses, My American Heart, Los Kung Fu Monkeys, Crossfade, Stiff Little Fingers, Stray Cats, The Prom Kings, Billy Talent, X-Ray Spex, DESTRUCT(band here in S.G. and Los Angeles), Race The Sun, 7 Shot Screamers, and 13 Cats. A mixture of known and unknown bands. If somewhat. Though there are more. Much, much more.

And yes, the only reason I even mentioned them was because I had nothing else to write about. Besides the subject of school. To sum that all up, I've been doing pretty well in my classes. Even though they all bore the hell out of me. And my social life is still pretty small. I'm hardly ever in the mood to talk to other people at school. Besides Stacy. XD Though I am starting to talk to Stephany. This girl in my geometry class. She's pretty cool. Lesse...Stacy also made me get this astrology book thing that deals with romance and reading palms and such. It's pretty cool. By the looks of it, I'm an astrological mutt due to being born near the "dead-line" of the time period for Leo. So I have Leo and Virgo attributes. Awesome. XD

Hrm, gotta go with my dad and siblings to pick up my uncle from the airport soon, so yeah. Gotta finish this and my homework soon. Oh, and now my parents are making me pick between the following, for my 16th birthday that is. I can get a car, a sweet sixteen, or at least a one week trip to Zacatecas, Mexico on the week of my birthday. If I go to Mexico, we'll stay at my great uncle's ranch. Teh awesomeness. Anyways, I have a while to make up my mind. So we'll see. Anyways, better go and finish up at least my history homework so I can work on my biology essay. Adios mis queridos. <3

Funeral was awful. And not awful as in something went wrong, but emotionally awful. But I'll manage. And hopefully so will the rest of my family.


Today:
God, I'm tired. Wanna go take a nap, but I have to go eat and study a bit for my biology test tomorrow. Ugh, hope I pass it. *blinks*Mm, Cold Hard Bitch by Jet is playing on my Launch radio. Pleasant. Anyways, got out of school early today. Yayness. I think Stacy had to stay though. Soccer practice. >> <<

Oh, and that reminds me. I'm still going to be in her Quinceañera. And I'll be able to wear my fishnets with the dress. XD Kick arse. But there's one thing that is really bugging me about that. And that's my hair. I have to make sure that my hair is out of my face. -.- Which means I have to tie it back so everyone can see that pretty face of mine. <--Trying very hard not to laugh. >>;;;

But I've decieded to cut my bangs and fix them so they'll be easy to manage. And somewhat cover one of my eyes. Eh, I'll figure out what else to do with my hair. My mom is gonna help me with that. I might got it though. Don't really like how it looks now. But I have no idea how I want it to look, so it'll stay like this for a bit more.

Hrm, might not be on again later today. I think I have to go to Church at around five. Or was it 6:30? Eh, I can't remember. All I know is that we have to go to Church for nine days after the funeral, and today is the second day. And on Friday, I may not be on. Not only because of Church, but because my freshman buddy Adriana is coming over for a little while. But I may have a new pic up tomorrow. She's bringing batteries for my camera because she wants to put up a new pic on her Myspace page. But we'll see.

On Saturday, church and history homework. Sunday...we're going to the cemetary, possibly church, and then Stacy's Quinceañera practice. Anyways, better go now. Adios mis queridos. <3

...Hey rise and shine
And open up your eyes
To give this world some color
Shine on diamond eyes
Seperate the space
Between love and lies.

It rained today! Like, hardcore. Gawd, it was awesome. Hrm, chance of rain tomorrow, too. Hope it does. Well, only during school. Like today when I was waiting for the bus. We all got drenched. I love the rain. It kept me in a pretty good mood today. Surprise, surprise. Anyways, homework. How...fun. Oh well, just history and geometry homework. I'll have to turn in the biology homework on Thursday, though. Doubt I'll be able to even get much of it done today. Eh, I'll try though.

Anyways, won't be here on Tuesday, as recently stated, and if I am, it won't be for long. Maybe just to check messages before I leave. But I doubt it. On Wednesday, I should be back. Out of it and probably depressed, even more so, because of the funeral, but here nonetheless.

Mm, looks like I'm getting five gifts for Christmas this year. o.o Adriana, my 9th grade friend from school, is probably gonna get me something to. If not for Christmas, for my birthday. Oh god. @.@ People are really trying to make me feel bad. Welll, the one's whom I can't give anything back for Christmas because of our parents.-.- Goddamnit.>.< Ah well. Gotta go and finish up on my homework. Adios mis queridos. <3

Well, just got back from school. Almost an hour ago, I believe. Anyways, I guess school was okay. I was out of it for most of the day, though. Almost fell asleep during geometry. Well, I did. For like ten minutes. Heh, I fell asleep near ten and woke up at 6:40 to get ready for school. Only reason I managed to actually sleep was because I took a sleeping pill. Eh, the one I got when I got the stronger Prozac. I had stopped taking the sleeping pills because it appeared that they didn't work. But I decieded to give it another go because I really needed the sleep. I only got three hours of sleep on Tuesday and around four all together on Wednesday, due to what happend.

Oh, and Stacy and Bernadette are coming over tomorrow in the afternoon, so I'll be gone for a few hours. And I'll be gone on Tuesday due to the Mass service for my grandfather in the evening. Though I will be back on Wednesday. Maybe. I'll probably be a bit out of it, though. Seeing as I think that's the day that my grandpa's funeral is going to be. Sometime in the morning, I believe. I think Stacy's going with us to the Mass, though.

Well, I should probably get an early start on my homework. So, yeah. Adios mis queridos. <3