.............

Must I write in this today?

I decided to put my poem back in my diary...don't copy!

~Pain~

I just want to be from all the pain
to be happy once again
I'm tired of false smiles on my face
That I use to cover up all the disgrace
tears run freely through the night
As I dream of happier times in my life
Nobody loves me
They just pretend they do
They all want me gone
I know they do
Now if only they knew the pain and hurt that I go through...
If I wasn't so scared I would've been gone
but I am scared!
And it angers me so
I just want all this pain to go...

Okay..today is the day after my 13th birthday. It was okay...I'm bored and feel lazy right now so I won't write anymore...buh bye!

I hate my fucked up life...oh and tommarrow's my birthday. I'm turning 13. *sighs* Oh and I went to Six Flags Magic Mountain on Sunday...cuz nobody could go to Sea World..it rocked. The rides where all cool. I got on this ride called Revolution and it was cool. ^^;...*ahem* But now I'm back to hating my fuckin' life. Later.

I'm going to sea World with my family (parents,sibling, an aunt and uncle and their kids*my cousins*) I don't know if they are still going...but if they don't then we (parents,siblings,and I) are going to Six Falgs. I do want my cousins to go....but then again I don't. I want them to go because we have never been on a vacation together. And i don't want them to go cuz if I go to six Flags I'll be able to go on my first extreme ride (I'm scared of extreme hieghts...-.-;) Where I might lose my lunch, faint, scream bloody murder, or wet my pants O.o; Maybe all...hehe ^^; But whereever we go...it's gonna be cool. Well there's other stuff I wanna put...but I'll just keep that private...^.^; Later!

Love sucks. There that's my entry for today.

Back from the zoo...and guess what? I didn't think os sucide all day! *nods proudly* I have no life,huh? Well it was okay...except my feet are so friggin' sore! >_< Besides that it was okay. It was Matthew's fisrt trip to the zoo. He looked so cute with those big brown eyes. We have the same eyes. lol. ^^; Right now I'm listinig to Whisper by Evenessence. I love this song! ;) Anyways my parents stopped fighting. Which is cool. Well I gotta go. Adios!

Whoa! It's been 6 days..hehe sorry! Well lets see...I updated my Yu-Gi-Oh story. But I currently have writters block..damn it...but I have a new poll..and if anyone is reading this..please check it out..if you want to. ^_^ Well I gotta go. Bai Bai!

It's been a while..hehe. Well I'm fine...so far anyways.I've started watching DBZ again...Pan is soo cute! i'm still watching YYH..but I sometjmes for get. ^_^; PLus I'm almost done with the next chapter of my YGO storie....I needed Mokuba's age..I'm gonna guess...^_^ Eek! My parents are home..I g2g. Later!

Lately people are usually gonna see me with my face hidden inside a book, writting/doodling in my notebook, or typing away on the computer. My reviewrs seem to actually enjoy my fics. *gasp* I though they sucked, Anywho, I'm trying to keep writting my Harry Potter fics but..*sniffs* they all have Sirius in them. *sniffs again* How can I continue with him outta the actual book? *groans* I can't seem to think of ANYTHING for any of my HP stories. Will maybe one, since he's still alive when he was in school. Seems some of the HP writters on ff.net are a bit shocked. *sighs* Oh well, I'll try to update all of them befor my b-day, which is in a month!*does weird happy dance* I'M GONNA BE 13!!!!!! GO ME! Ahem, well guess I better leave, cuz I have nothing else to say. *sniffs again* Poor Padfoot. Moony's the only Marauder left. Wormtail is a traiter and a rat. No duh! Well I best be going,ne? Adios!

Much better now. I calmed down. Well nothing else to say rather than it's as hot as hell right now. Oh and I got all A's on my report card...but a B in Math...I hate my math techer.. >.< Well later!

Well, my little bro's party was very cool. My best friend showed up and she and my cousin got along. We spent the whole night *up to 1:30 am* talking, playing baskteball*when there was room* playing pranks on the young ones and laughing at the people dancing. My uncle made a good DJ. Well I guess that's it. I wonder when I'll get my report card...

Wow! Still in writter's mode after two days! That's....usual. Anywho, I AM FINALLY OUTTA SCHOOL!!! *does happy dance* Hurray! I'm so happy!Oh so happy!*stops in mid-dance* Ahem, well, I am happy and thoughtful, yet STILL bored! WAHHHH!!! What shall I do?

Hey, still in writters mode and working on the next chappie of 'Duo's Secret.' Well, I got my hair cut today. And it's shorter than before. It looks okay, but I wonder what my friends will say... Anywho, I gotta get to work on my Yu-Gi-Oh, Gundam Wing and Harry Potter stories, before my reviewers lose interest in them. Ja Ne!

I just updated the new chappie for my new fic 'Duo's Secret' i think it's going fine. My friend likes the plot of the idea. I just wrote it out of sheer boredom. *shrugs* Anyway, I am currrently in writters mode. *lazily waves a flag* Go me....*sighs* Yet I am so bored. Well this entry was just random. But this boy at school died Sunday. If I knew him, I would posiibly be grieving, but since I don't I am just feeling sorry for his family. I sorta knew his brother, who evryone calls Preacher boy. I don't really like him, yet I feel sorry for his loss. *sighs* But tomorrow I'm going to sign 'THE WALL' which was made in honor of the deceased boy. I just don't know what I should write..I'll think of it soon, I know it. Maybe it's cuz I dopn't know him. Another thing I heard about him was that he was in a gang. Which might explain his sudden death. I'll just ask my frien Jesus. I better go and get my things for school ready. Just three more days left! Not counting the weekends of course. Well, Adios!

I think my friend might be lying to me. it might be a test of our friendship.*shrugs* i don't really know. But....I GOT AN A+ ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT! YAY!!!!!1 *does happy dance* GO ME!GO ME!!!

I am feeling a little bit better. My mom is still kinda sick, but she went to the doctor and got some medicine (YUCK!) But I am a bit grossed out, cuz I had to see pics about people who have different kinds of STD *It was health education* And it was extremly nasty! But other than that everything is okay. Tomarrow I am gonna meet my friends at the libary to start our project. This time they better show up, or else me and my best friend are gonna call and cuss them out.And make them wish they were never born! MUHAHAHAHAH-*starts coughing* Ummmm.....yeah.....well bye! ::runs off and hides in her room::

Man! My life just keeps on getting more messed up! My mom is now very sick and my uncle (my moms youngest brother) is not behaving good or going to school. *rubs head* I feel a headache coming on.....

Damn it!!!!!!!! Why does this keep happening?!?!? What happened with my grandparents is true!!!!!! ;_; How could he hurt her like that? I thought he truly loved her. Adults confuse me. How can they betray the ones they love? I guess I won't find out untill I'm older. Which makes me like being the age that I am. *sighs* At school we learned about the Female reproduction atanomy and about the male reproduction atanomy. I didn't mind the female things (since I am one) but with the boys, I did giggle a tidbit. But the boys were all blushing! LOL! The girls would laugh softly but the boys would laugh loudly in an embarressed sort of way. Today we learned about AIDS. This is health EDUCATION. My baby brother just puked on me. Damn, I gotts go and get changed. Well, later.

Why has my mood been going down the past days!!! And why is my life so fucked up?! (Excuce my French.) Well I hope everything gets better soon. Why did my Grandpa have to do that? I hope what my aunt and my parents were argung about with my grandpa aren't true! That would really improve my mood. {insert sarcasm here}*sighs* Well I have to go and do my science homework now.

::Adios::