So today was exams and I had a half day. After school I went out to eat with a few friends at Hong Kong it was really fun. Then we drove around for awhile. Then some stupid ass shit happend. Nothing I really want to disclose to strangers. Then tonight Nickie, Kevin, Mike, Bookem, my brother, and I are supposed to be going to see U2:E. I cant wait I dont know if Mike and Bookem are going thought cause Mike is throwing another one of his usual temptrums and I personally dont care to deal with it. The new childish story of the week. I get harrassing phone calls Saturday night from a group of people 18 and older! I bet they felt like winners then one of those people writes me on here saying Im a child and the only reason why Mikes with me is because hes affraid Im going to call him in for Rape. Yes, that makes sence that we have broken up numorus times and hes came back to me every single time when I've told him to stay away. He knows I would never do that but seriously thats pretty pathetic that she feels as though she has to go around saying that to justify why he doesnt want to speak to her. Not like I wouldnt get in trouble or anything but hey its Talia you cant expect to much brains comming from her. Not to say shes stupid or anything just saying she doesnt understand the concept of LOGIC. Then again she also thinks Im jealous of her cause I dont know what the meaning of LOVE is. Right...thats it I dont know what love is so Im jealous of you and your friends. What can I say you have me all tied up in knots. *Tears are flowing*...yea right not the point though Im trying to think of something all kool to say back but I ran out of those kinda of comebacks when I was still in the 3rd grade. Till then sugars!!!!

Haha Loni and I just dyed our hair. Okay well I dyed mine yesturday and dyed it again today. Loni just dyed her hair for the FIRST EVER time. And its funny cause its BLONDE! A BLONDE PERSON just dyed their hair BLONDE!!! Its funny we are going to have pics up prolly by the end of the night! GO US WOO HOO!!!

    MONKEY!
Georgo Georgo..pudding and pie..why does your boifriends cousin look like a guy?
so what if she has a mustache and looks like a monkey..
shit..i think its better than looking like a donkey!
Oh what is she going to do when the baboon wants its ass back?
she just needs to shut her fucking mouth becuz she talks way to much smack!!
Oh well, i guess she'll just have to live with these facts..but still i wonder..
what is she going to do..when the baboon wants its ass back?!?

Haha Shaloni Dong made a funny with Lauren! I lovers it so if you dont know who they are talking about then your DUMB! COUGH COUGH *Talia* COUGH....

So Im talking to Nickie right now and we were going to hang out tonight but we are going to do it tomorrow instead. Well actually it will be Nickie, Loni, Lauren, and I. We're going to dye my hair and do really stupid shit also. I think we all really need this. Im kinda stressed'ish. Schools been bugging me cause I have a big thing comming up and Im not exactly sure what Im going to do. Im talking about college btw. And then relationship issues thats a very big one. I would honestly like to know when mine and Mikes relationship become everyone else's concern. Seriously, Talia and Kristen really need to back off. Its not my fault he chooses me over his own family(talia). And Kristen just needs to back out of it cause she has nothing to do with it at all. I can understand she wants to be a "good" friend to Talia but when shes getting into my buisness its pathetic on her part. You would think they have more entertaining things in their own lives (like maybe THEIR OWN BOYFRIENDS)! But no, they seem to like my life alot better. Must be jealous if they spend so much time worrying and wondering. Hah oh well I guess I dont mind really. Doesnt hurt me any...I've got what I want and that sits fine with me.

Good day I guess you could say, nothing to bad really happend. But I was really happy when I heard Mike tell Alex and Kevin he no longer wanted to be there friends. Funny I got a call right after from Talia saying it was me what a douche. I swear she still thinks she knows Mike when she knows nothing. She really needs to grow up then again I dont mind makes her look more like a fool then she already does. Yay the funness with words and how they dance. Im kinda confused about some things. But oh well theres nothing I can really do about it.

"The Nameless"

Pathetic (benign)
Accept it (undermine)
Your opinion (my justification)
Happy (safe)
Servent (caged)
Malice (Utter weakness)
No toleration
Invade (committed)
Enraged (admit it)
Don't condescend (don't even disagree)
Destroy (decay)
Dissapoint (delay)
You've suffered then, now suffer unto me.

Obsession, take another look.
Remember, every chance you took.
Decide, either live with me
Or give up - any thought you had of being free

(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hate.

Anyone (NO) Anything (YES) Anyway (FALL)
Anybody (MINE) Anybody (TELL ME)
I want (YOU) I need (YOU) I'll have (YOU)
I won't LET ANYBODY HAVE YOU
Obey (ME) Believe (ME) Just trust (ME) Worship (ME) Live for (ME)
Be grateful (NOW) Be honest (NOW) Be precious (NOW) Be mine (JUST LOVE ME)

Possesion (feed my only vice)
Confession (i wont tell you twice)
Decide - (either die for me)
Or give up - any thought you had of being free.

(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hurting you.
(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hate.

(Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhhh)
Stay inside the hole, let me take control. (Dominate)
You were nothing more, you were something less (innocent)
Something has to give - something has to break (omnipresent)
Fingers on your skin, let my savage in
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.
YOU DESERVE IT.

(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you (i wanted you)
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hurting you. (was hurting you)
(Don't go) I never wanted anybody more than I wanted you (i wanted you)
(I know) the only thing I ever really loved, was hate.

You're mine (you are you are)
You're mine (you are you are)
You're mine
YOU'RE MINE

I am having the best mother fucking year so far! Theres been a couple changes that I am very proud of and I havent been happier. I have noticed something though...guys are all the same. But oh well I have no complaints really. What can I say, great past couple of days. Nothing to complain about. Hrmm I really have nothing to talk about either. Anyways I think Im going to go cause I have nothing to say. What a wonderful life of mine.

Ahh lets see I feel like shit because I got sick some how. Shalons sick too, so we're blaming it on Dustin. He was the only one around us who was sick! We're attempting to get Mike sick but it isnt working as easily as we thought it would. DAMN THE MAN...Oh the pain! Actually I guess its not to bad, waves of nausea, headaches, and a runny nose never killed anyone! Hopefully it goes away before wednesday cause I have to work and it would be really gross for me to work while I am sick! Im so pissed off last night when Shalon and I were hanging out we both bought some OJ, but we bought different kinds. I bought DOLE and she bought MINUTE MAID. I hate MM and she hats DOLE, but when I left I ended up grabbing hers...it sucks the big one. Cause all I want is OJ and I get stuck drinking shitty OJ. And I just drank some Alka Selcer Flue Tablets thats supposed to taste like Orange. So now Im kinda turned off by OJ just because of that nasty ass taste in my mouth. I hate liquid med's it makes me even more sick.

Wow...So things have been really good latly. Christmas came and went, it wasnt to bad either. Actually it was almost the best one I think I have had. Not cause of the presents(but those were good too), but because my family actually got along. Its a rare thing in this household for all of us to get along, even for that short of a time. I got everything I wanted for Christmas so Im happy about that as well. The only thing that sucks is my guitar that they bought wasnt the one that we orderd. It was supposed to be black, purple, and orange. But it came a regular brown color. Not complaining though cause I still am glad I got one. Lets see I also got clothes, cd's, art shit, and other things. Cant really think of it all right now. I also just bought a $350 puppy, its so fucking cute. Whats even better is its a Miniture Dosh Hound, but it has the same prints as my Rottie. They just look so cute together! But he has to get fixed cause if him and my Rottie ever mated there would be some pretty ugly dogs running around. All I know is that I couldnt be happier with things right now. Mikes upstairs right now playing his Resident Evil 4 game I bought him, its annoying. Lol I swear he wouldnt detache from that game even if his life depended on it. We didnt get to sleep till 2 in the morning cause he wouldnt put it down. Haha well and some other things but we arent going to get into that.

(Another couple things)-I owe alot to Bookem, if it wasnt for him right now I dont know how controlled and mellowed out I would be about everything that is going on. As stupid as it sounds I think he really did help me with a few things! Now what I am about to talk about has nothing to do with Bookem. Bookem helped with other things going on in my life.

This is about Tom and Kristen. How pathetic and childish is it for an 18 yr going on 19 to draw on someones picture and right shit. Then again I dont think it was Tom and neither does alot of people, he might be a little off but hes never been that childish. But the truth is it doesnt even bother me. I mean maybe it would if it just wasnt such a pathetic attempt to try and piss me off. As much fun as it would be to sink to their maturity level and do something just as childish back, I just cant do it. It could be the fact that I dont like looking like a moron but hey sometimes thats appealing to people if they found eachother. Awkwardly enough, they are perfect for eachother in so many ways. Both back stabbing, immature, little bitches! Hah... How The Fucking Cookie Crumbles!

So I had a very good weekend! Went to a b-ball game on Friday and I think it pissed of my lezbo lover(KRISTEN) because she glared at me all night for some very odd reason(jealius much)!!!For some reason I dont think she likes me and she thinks I want her boyfriend, even though I had him first! In more ways than one! Oh well I dont care if she believes me or anyone else cause at least I know its true and I love thinking about it. Hah...I bet she does to everytime shes on his bed! That prolly makes me sound like a whore but Im not so Im not to worried! Oh and yes I may have small boobs but her boyfriend never minded them anyways! That must really get to her, plus if Im so ugly I dont know what the hell that could say about her considering Tom called me unblievably gorgeous all the damn time! Haha sucks to be a Kristen these days! Anyways and then urmm I hung out with my hunny all weekend untill I had to work tonight and then I came home! Ahh how I love life! And then X-MISS (Funny story has to do with work) is comming...Im so happy about that cause theres stuff that I wanted for a while that i will be getting, plus its the 2nd one with my favorite sugar! Plus its another christmas that my family is actually together. Haha anyone who reads this has to read shalons diary entry cause it goes along with mine! [fucking like a tease]

Listen To Your Heart

I know there's something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You've built a love but that love falls apart.
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark.

Listen to your heart
when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart
there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going
and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart
before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems,
the feeling of belonging to your dreams.

And there are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind.

*What to do...what to do* Twidles Thums....Gosh...

Today was a great day. Nothing bad happened. Lol I went to GB to pick up my dad from the air port then went to red lobster. It was great cause they had beads up at the bar and my mom said to the waitress " does my daughter have to flash the bartended to get some beads" the waitress really got a kick out of it. But i did get my kool red beads without having to flash anyone, plus it has at lobster on it. Then Im also going to the movies at 9 with Nickie...yes we made up woo hoo. It was funny cause i got a messege on here from kristen which i thought was so pointless. Asking me why i hate her and all that bull. Jeez the obvious reasons wouldnt come to mind or anything? Damnit there was something else i was going to say. Oh yea and Angel( a man a swear to god) told Kristen that i said i was going to kick her ass at market which i think is funny cause i dont go down there and neither does she. But oh well at least it helps out the people that at least do go down there. Haha...and then i told some skank at school that i was going to kick her ass and she was so scared that she took me to the office, called the cops, and changed her hours at work. Yet she said she wasnt affraid of me. I swear there are some pretty pathetic people at my school. Seriously, but no one likes Crystal anyways so its very amuseing. Aww, i have to pee...the pain. Dont ask...

* I LOVE MIKE *-heh just felt like adding that in with my great mood.

Hah so I am in a VERY GREAT MOOD!!! See Nickie was annoying me so I ignored her during school and well after school she called me twice and I told her to stop calling me because I was ignoring her so I wouldnt bitch at her. I told her just to leave me alone and not to talk to me. Well she goes and tells Kristen which is one of the reasons why I am mad at her cause of previous things she has said to Kristen but back to the story. Okay so she tells Kristen, and Kristens devious little plan was for Nickie to just ignore me so I would get irritated and try talking to her? I swear we have some retarded ass mother fucking people in my school. How the hell is that going to get me to talk to her if thats what I wanted in the first place? Luckly to my advantage Nickie listened. Funny thing is Kristen told her it would work because she knows it "hurts me". Yet she wouldnt know considering shes never done it to me and I wouldnt be hurt by something like that. I dont exactly know why Nickie would be taking advice from someone who doesnt know a thing about me but hey whatever side tracks her is to my benifit. What I think is funny is Im not talking to her because of all her back stabbing and her pathetic excuse for a bf. Another pathetic thing is they both want to break up with eachother yet neither of them have the balls to do anything. Like the night before this happened her bf was at my house complaining on how he wanted to break up with her but didnt know how and blah d' blah. Then again Kevin is going to jail the 17th anyways so all well that ends well really. Oh and I just love how Nickie lies about so much. See I was talking to Mike about it and he thinks she back stabs and lies unintentionally? Then again that could be the case cause I really wouldnt put that past her, shes not the brightest. I mean at times she can be a good friend I'll say that much but shes not someone to put to much trust into. Then again I dont put trust into pretty much anyone considering people just arent worth the effort.

So today is the start of our 2nd term and lucky me I changed my sch. cause I didnt want to take service learning and I was stuck back into gym. At least I wont have to take it next year though! Bad news is I just realized I have to stick Prop. & Stat. and Alg 2 into next years sch. Thats a big bummer! But I got to do what I've got to do. I met with the Rep. from GB today. She was really nice, all I know is I really hope I get into that school.

Nothing else to say really...urrmm...yea...

Topic For Todays Agenda; Good news, bad news, inbetween news, and then just pointless ranting! Good News: My mom finally okay'd me to get a job woo-hoo! I'll be working with friends which is a plus! oOo and I got a new CD which cost me $30, but way worth it in my book. It's Melissa Ethridges Greatest Hits Dual Disk!!! Gosh I love her!!! Shalon and I finally got to hang out for the first time in ever( her and I will be working together)! We talked about how we think girls in private are worse then guys! Oh and we were throwing out great little catch phrases famous one "I Did Not Have Sexual Realations With That Woman!" Today is mine and Mikes 1yr and 1 month! GO US! oOo and I figured out what I was getting him for X-MASS! Bad news: I was supposed to turn in my work permitt today but the school wouldnt let me get one because I didnt have proof that I was actually going to be employed! I was like " Do you think I want to spend $5 on a permitt that Im not going to use" Sometimes I really wonder about things! And one of my fishes died today...it was the Elgie Eater...and another one is sick! My grandpas in the hospital, hes really bad! I feel so bad though cause my grandma had been trying to call us all weekend and couldnt get ahold of us! Inbetween news: tomorrow we have exams same with wednesday. Then the next week we have 3 half days for WKCE which is great cause we dont have to be to school untill 12:00. Hrmmm Im very annoyed by people right now. It seems to be a never ending cycle. Im not an unreasonable person but damn, people just fucking piss me the fuck off. Anys that was my rant not very long but it will do cause Im going to get off in a few cause I have to do homework.

So I just feel like writing in here...typing whatever floats whoseevers boat huh? I just memeberd i have to send in my ACT thinger! Go me...it should be easy enough!Then next year i will be able to apply right away for GB, if I go there. I really think i want to but im not totally decided yet! You know what i noticed people who have HUMONGUS-SIZED mouths shouldnt cut there hair cause for some reason or another it becomes very unbalanced and well i guess you can figure out the rest on your lonesomes? You know what i have also noticed i dont like many people and im not exactly sure why but i just get a feeling of disapointment around most. Do you ever just sit there and stair at people and wonder what the fuck they are doing with their life? I do it all the fucking time and for some reason i cant exscape it. Oh well how the world turns huh! Anyways going back to watching animations at stickdeath!

Well hrmm...I just had the feeling of writing in here again. For no real reason I guess you could say but that could also be a matter of opinion. I have for some reason or another become very attched to the song "Tear Away"-Drowning Pool. Very great band if i do say so myself. Aww...how it makes me tingle inside whenever I hear it. Its just one of those spirit lifters i think. And now a song dedicated to my lezbo lover that i so strongly wished i could have:

"The Game"-Drowning Pool
Time to play the game x3

Its all about the game you fall like the rest, your failure is my success
It's all about control, will you make it? I will deliver the pain you
can take it
I'm in control, I am the pain, after this you won't be the same
This is my time I make the rules you mess with this and you die like a fool.

Chorus
PAIN here comes the pain x4

time to play the game

I am the debt that can't be paid, your going down in flames
This the time I cannot lose Live or die you'll have to choose
It's all about me I am the one, soon you'll see there's nowhere to run
I am the threat that is so real through the blood and the sweat and pain you will feel.

Chorus

nowhere to run nowhere to hide, now it's time to die
I am the pain I am the game you won't forget my name

Time to feel the pain x3
Time to play the game x4

Chorus

The funness I plan to have...so little time...its running out.

Hah so today was lots and lots of fun. See i was going to start shit with kristen but a friend told her i was going to and guess who left school during lunch. Very convient of her. Well during gym class i had fun because we were playing b-ball, and i was gaurding someone i extreemly dispise right now. You can only imagine how that turned out. She started to be a little bitch and stoped playing cause i was hitting her to much and i really hurt her eye when i elbowed it. What a panzy...then again shes fat and physical activitie prolly isnt even in her vocabulary. But anyways than it was funny cause i was at my locker and Nickie was standing next to me and Kristal this untimely whore pushed her out of the way and I was like "You dont have to be a skanky bitch" and she looked at me like a deer in head lights and said "Excuse Me" i was like "You didnt run into me now did you" and i walked away. And in that process i saw kristen so i ran into her hard and on purpose. All i know is im really getting annoyed by her saying shes going to kick my ass or that i couldnt kick hers and than just avoids me. Just like she brought tom with her to my house cause she was affraid of my dog? How pathetic is that whats Tom going to do to my dog and why the hell would I sick my dog on her...i dont want it getting rabies or any other disease she may carry. Whatever i know it was just an excuse like the rest of everything she says.

Wow so this week was actually pretty fun. Kristen[xlilkikix] tried starting her usual bullshit. Funny thing of the week was I had to go to the open gym for dance team cause I lost a bet with Tiffany. Well Tiffany and I both wanted to leave half way through because it was just that pathetic. And then Im sitting at home and I get a call from kristen saying how I wrote something on her car with lip gloss which was very amuseing. I told her i didnt do it because i didnt(even thought i wish i would have). She said she was going to kick my ass and i told her to go for it cause she was nothing to be afraid of and i hung up on her. Well she came to my house funny thing is she had to bring tom(yet she was going to kick my ass...funny he was needed for protection) She told me i had to go outside and clean off her car and i told her to make me and that i didnt have to cause i didnt do shit to her car. Well she didnt like that and threatend to call the cops on me so i told her to go ahead and do it. So then the next day she steard clear of me same with friday. But then someone asked me about it cause they heard she called the cops on me and i got fined and blah d' blah. And she seems to be telling everyone this. Yet the cops never came to my house nor would they because there was no evidence. Stupid cunt i swear. Its so pathetic she has to say she did something she didnt. Oh well I guess she'll learn cause people are getting really sick of the stupid bitch. My mom told me i should just hit her to put her in her fucking place. And im seriously debating it...*ponders child abuse charges* Defintly be worth it from my point of view. Then again even if i didnt do it and someone else did i would prolly still be brought to the cops for it. Hah...and the whole her always thinking im jealous of her makes me wonder. Cause i cant think of anything i'd be jealous of...I had her bf before her and could have kept him but turned him down. Which means she got my sloppy seconds...Umm my body lets see..i find it to be very pleasent and as long as my hunners think so and all the others that seem to be attracted to it, it cant be that bad. Yes and the saggy tits she so nicely brags about that im just so jealous of? Hrmm nope mine might be small but at least they wont ever be saggy and not like her man had a problem with them. Then again Im very proud of them!!! Oh yes and the fact that im a lezbo and i cant have her really hurts me? When i became a lez is beyound me...and if i were to be one she wouldnt ever make the cut. Something about her body and personality just wouldnt work for me. Oh wait else is there? Oh her great music taste that im so ashamed i dont have i guess? And her incrediable bf...what can i say there lets see...had him...didnt want him..moved on...Now i have a sexy mother fucker who surpasses that dick and yes i mean his literal dick by multiple inches. I could say more but theres not really a point cause im sure it will just make me sound like a bitch and well i am but the point of the matter is...urmm im not sure. Anyways i will prolly write more laters...

Havent wrote in forever! At least thats what it feels like. Hrmm well lets see this past week was interesting. I was accused of cheating on my bf, yet the person who told him didnt even know me. Very nice isnt it...well we got that squared away. Then a bunch of stupid shit concerning homecomming happend. Oh and another fight with the monkey, I just always love those. But its okay I have a little surprise for her and her lap puppy that should end up being very entertaining. So instead of going to the dance Mike and I went to go see the movie Serenity. It was a very good movie! Mike and I had a much needed talk today. Do you ever feel like you love someone so much but then again it feels like its going no where? Okay Mike and I have been together for a year. So much shit has happend but the thing is I'm moving forward and Mikes stuck in nuteral and I just dont know anymore. I mean I love him more then anyone, but sometimes I question him. It must sound so stupid but sometimes I just want to give everything up and start all over. Whatever I have lots to think about so Im going to head out.