jeffrey says:
because crazy colors are for "fags"
jeffrey says:
because if i wear some orange or bright green shoes i'll start loving the penis
lmfao.
You can't be close enough unless i'm feelin' your heart beat.
such a delicate touch
for such a delicate face
while you're screaming my name
and i'm hating this place
and the world could be on fire
we could pretend that you were here
we could call me a liar
we could pretend that you might have cared
and if my smile fades
just know that we're okay
and if there was ever a reason to stay
its that i'm in love with you
lets just lay together, for the rest of today
we're so materialistic
we're so out of date
i never thought it was this place
i think its you i hate
so tell me how its fair
and tell me how its real
for you to treat me like this
dont make it your last meal
and i swear that if you love me
and if you give me a chance
i'll give you the only one i had
we'll save the best for last.
It seems we're better off breaking hearts.
Nice shoes.
Wanna fuck?
50 WAYS TO FREAK YOUR ROOMATE OUT
1. Smoke ballpoint pens.
2. Smile -- All the time
3. Always flush the toilet three times.
4. Listen to radio static.
5. Open your window shades before you go to sleep each night. Close them as
soon as you wake up.
6. Whenever you go to sleep, start jumping on your bed . . . do so for a
while, then jump really high and act like you hit your head on the ceiling.
Crumple onto your bed and fake like you were knocked out . . . use this
method to fall asleep...every night for a month.
7. Whenever his/her parents call and ask for your roommate, breathe into the
phone for 5 seconds then hang up.
8.Fake a heart attack. When your roommate gets the paramedics to come,
pretend nothing happened.
9. Whenever the phone rings, get up and answer the door
10.Whenever someone knocks, answer the phone.
11. Spend all your money on Transformers. Play with them at night. If your
roommate says anything, tell him/her with a straight face, "They're more
than meets the eye."
12. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while he/she is
asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at your roommate every
morning.
13. Trash your room when your roommates not around. Then leave and wait for
your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and act surprised.
Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like THEY were here again."
14. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick
him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
15. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that you've been
watching too much Beavis and Butthead. Do it again. Tell him/her that your
not sorry because this time they deserved it.
16. Eat lots of MnM's. Pick out all the blue ones and stockpile them in the
closet. If your roommate inquires, explain that visitors are coming, but you
can't say anything more, or you'll have to face the consequences.
17. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at
it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading!"
18. Buy a McDonald's Happy Meal for lunch every day. Eat the straw and the
napkin. Throw everything else away.
19. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few weeks,
start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in the same room
with you," storm out of the room and slam the door. Get rid of the plant,
but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant ever again.
20. Buy a Jack-In-The-Bo
out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the head with
a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering, "Ungrateful little..."
22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't know how
they got there.
23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one
pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
24. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your
roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
25. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one
after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a
few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your
roommate, "He just didn't belong."
26.Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he/she
knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side
of the room with concern.
27. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb and
scream, "Owwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few minutes, and then go back to
bed. Sob and sniff all night.
28. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and
go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell, "Okay guys, you can
come out now!"
29. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing nothing.
Then look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster with two players."
30. Talk back to your Rice Bubbles. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the
bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I
want to watch them suffer."
31. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless he/she
says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your roommate can't
guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.
32. Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on them. Play
loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the music, take off the
party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and say, "Well, it was fun while
it lasted."
33. When you walk into the room, look at the roommate in disgust and yell,
"Oh you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.
34. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask your
roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your roommate says
no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look like a suicide. Say
nasty things about your roommate at the funeral.
35. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in, say,
"Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about it again,
immediately change the subject.
36. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw on the mug
for about ten minutes. Then look at your roommate, immediately put the mug
away, and quickly leave the room.
37. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your roommate
walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a speech to the plants.
Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later," while eyeing your roommate
suspiciously.
38. Keep some worms in a shoe box. When doing homework, go and consult with
the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting at the worms that
they're stupid and they don't know what they are talking about.
39. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say, "Welcome to
McDonald's, can I take your...Oh, it's just you." Take off the hat, sit, and
pout.
40. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing things and
making random corrections. If your roommate protests, tell him/her that you
just couldn't take it anymore.
41. As soon as your roommate turns off the light at night, begin singing
famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns on the light,
look around and pretend to be confused.
42.Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for about an
hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.
43. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to join you.
Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say, "Boy, these zoos
just aren't what they used to be."
44. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your forehead,
and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
45. buy a happy meal with a milkshake. take your hamburger apart and lay it out on his/her bed. then dip your french fries in your milkshake and eat it. afterwards balance the cup on your head and make airplane noises.
46. jump on your bed and suddenly start humping random things... i.e.- the wall, your pillow, the air, your roomate, ect.
47. sit there and stare into space... cock your head like you are hearing things from time to time. after awhile yell FREAK! and run out of the room for no apparent reason.
48. make racial jokes about your own race.
49. whenever you see your roomate... seriously ask him/her if you should eat your pillow.
50. dare your roomate to go hide in the closet and lock them inside while you scream get me out of this closet right now!!
If I could write the words on your face, that let me know i'm okay
Then maybe we could close our eyes tight enough, and wish the world away
Because our tears are only trails of pain
And trails can be washed away
And everytime you laugh, and everytime you cry
My tummy turns into a butterfly
You promise that you love me
But you'll never be here,And that's what hurts most
Is that you're everything I want you to be
And I don't want you to go
But if the sun comes up, and the sun goes down
When you're looking at the sky, with your feet on the ground
Then the stars will paint a picture, with everything you say
And i'll still look at the sky,hoping that you do the same.
When I look for your face in the clouds, but all I see is rain
I hope on everything I can, that you're really okay
I love you, kid.
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH VERY LITTLE
See what's in your neighbour's rubbish/trash
(Amusement Potential: 20-30 minutes)
You can learn a lot about people by what they throw out. You might uncover some dark secret about them. Plus, they might be throwing out something with value that still works, like a VCR or some porn mags.
Watch TV, repeat everything said in Italian accent
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
Sort of entertaining. Include flamboyant shoulder shrugs for added impact, or go for a Marlon Brando set of grunts.
Send spooky emails
(Amusement Potential: 15-60 minutes)
Look up someone's CV on the web, do some research on them via Google and then send them an email full of personal references claiming to be an ex-work colleague who fell in love with their shoes. Or something.
Play our useless games
(Amusement Potential: how long have you got?)
Waste away the hours with our collection of useless games
Make prank phone calls
(Amusement Potential: 20-60 minutes)
Very entertaining, but requires discipline. Remember - vulgarities don't make a call funny, but getting the other person to believe a ridiculous story will. Try seeing if you can get them to make noises to 'test' the line. One to get you started off: Call McDonalds with weird complaints about their food.
Pretend all humans will die except for people in room with you
Amusement Potential: 10-20 minutes)
What would you do if this really happened? Would the group stay together, or would there be factions? Who would join what group? Remember, there would only be power for a few days before the plants ran out of fuel or broke. To travel, you would always have to be near cars to siphon gas out of. Best to do with people you know.
Step off a curb with eyes shut, imagine it's a cliff
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
To get any benefit out of this one, you have to have a good imagination. Don't step off immediately, build up to the jump. Study the ravine below. Feel the winds at that altitude. Step off and...AHHHHHH!
Try and sound Welsh
(Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
The key to sounding Welsh is to make sure that your voice goes up at the end of the sentence, so that everything sounds like a question. Throw in a superfluous 'isn't it?' at the end of everything you say and you're halfway there. Isn't it?
Burn things with a magnifying glass
(Amusement Potential: 5-30 minutes)
Ants are always fun to use for this, but burning the face of someone you don't like, under some circumstances, can be just as entertaining.
THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH ANOTHER PERSON
Have a water drinking contest
(Amusement Potential: 5-10 minutes)
While the competition is fun, you probably won't feel too good afterward. To give your event an old western theme, slam the cups upside down on the tables after you have emptied them.
Stare at the back of someone's head until they turn around
(Amusement Potential: 2-5 minutes)
This works on the "I have the feeling I'm being watched" principle. Conduct an experiment-doe
Have a "Who is less competitive" competition
wonder (Amusement Potential: 1-3 minutes)
Trying to win at this will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.
Pick up a dog so it can see things from your point of view
(Amusement Potential: 3-5 minutes)
Think about it: your dog has only seen the house from a viewpoint from 6" to 2' high (15 to 60 cm for all you metric fans). It's never seen the tops of counters, what you keep on your desk, the tops of shelves, etc. Try looking at things from its point of view, too.
Pull out a hair, stick in someone's ear
(Amusement Potential: 1-5 minutes)
Best done to sleeping people. Added challenge in having no one else around, because then you can't blame it on anyone else. Try to beat your record number of times before the person catches on.
Pour water in hand, make sneeze noise, throw water on back of person's neck
(Amusement Potential: 5-15 minutes)
Always a good gag. For an even bigger reaction out of the person, act like you're not sorry at all for what they think you did. Comment instead on how big that sneeze was or about how there was a lot of mucus in that one.quik coppy it and mesage it b4 the gards get it dont let this 1 die if any 1 ehs has any send them to me PLEAS
fearbefore bites:i had a dream about you. i was there, and i came in and you were sleeping. and i layed down next to you, and you woke up and turned over. and you asked me if i was tired and if i wanted to sleep. and i said yes to both, and i kissed you and we fell asleep together.