Happy New Year, I guess. I was invited to a New year's party, left at midnight. I wasn't wanted there and I could tell. There's one way to hurt a girl, kick her when she is down. And boy my "friends" sure can do that well. And I know what they are all probably saying "drama queen" fine they can call me what they want. As long as I am able to call them bitches and assholes. They didn't speak to me unless it was asking me if I was "ok" or to get me to play Kings, which is a game I hate. My ex was there and wanted me to die, my b/f was there and did give a damn, my friends hell they didn't give a damn. None of them wanted me there, thats one of the reasons I left. They think everything is a huge joke, and guess what, I'm sick of it. And frankly I don't want to deal with it anymore. I don't know what to make of the people who call themselves my "friends". I'm starting to think that "friends" is something they are all far from.

~Fuu

Hey all. Well I am apparently an idiot when it comes to certain relationships... like my own. Or at least the one I was just in. My new ex-boyfriend gave me no other choice really but to break up with him, even though I didn't want too. But what are you to expect he was ALWAYS saying that he's still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He compared me to her, said how mucb he wished he was still dating her. He even explained to me that one of the reasons he asked me out was because I reminded him of her. Does that mean I was REALLY just a replacement for her? Am I someone that is that worthless to someone that all I will ever get is a relationship where they want to use me? Or get something from me, so far each of my boyfriends has been like that in one way or another. They didn't mean to be I know but they were.

Now I feel so guilty because I broke up with him. But he was hurting me, and I HATE people who play with my emotions and my heart like I am some sort of toy. I feel like shit now. Oh btw this is the ex-boyfriend who apparently broke up with me last week, well I (along with two/three of my friends) misunderstood him, he didn't break up with me he put the relationship on hold. Well now I ended it. And guess what, he also won't talk to me. I wanna cry but I won't. Its stupid to cry right? Right? But right now I don't think I can help it........ *starts crying*..... I hate how life always does this to people. It doesn't want them to know a bit of happiness. Please btw don't mind me. I am in a little bit of self pity I guess, actually I know.

But hey you always get whats coming to ya... right?

~Fuu

My boyfriend...sorry correction, my ex-boyfriend is a jerk. He was telling me he needs to think, he needs space, and maybe a some point in time we can try again with out relationship. He also gave the line "it's not you, it's me". OMG. Does he think I am stupid, so please excuse me while I go and mope.

~Fuu

Only in death will anyone have perfect sanity, or is it insanity?