You Know You're From Dublin When...
You say "I'm Grand" all the time.You drink Guinness as if it is a sixth food group.You disagree with above - Guinness is the FIRST food group.You're pale and white... yet compared to others your suntan looks good.You say "Are you grand?" all the time.You say "Isn't it grand?" all the time.You say "That'd be grand?" all the time.You can pronounce names like Eoghan, Niamh and SiobhanYou take 4 hours to get home on a Saturday night and think nothing of it.You don't eat anything cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or potatoesYou say "Your man" all the time.You say "Your woman" all the time.You say "It's grand that your man asked if I'm grand" all the time.You find yourself still living with family and having dinners cooked for you by someone's mammy - at thirty.You talk about 'dinners' and 'mammys'. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Dublin.
SIPPING VODKA
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip." So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don't gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J. C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey,don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me"
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry,"
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
The fool wanders,
the wise one travels.
-Celtic saying
Smile at the world as the world kills you.
No really, you should smile.
Please?
- Tristan
-_-; could you possibably stop bragging about Nova? I *do* know where you live and there *is* a drawer full of knives on the next room.
-Tristan (again)
Live life for soon life will live you, and then kill you.
-Tristan (yet again)
everyone needs to smile at least once a day, if only to fall over dead by the time you're twenty
-More Tristan
I cant come to the comuter right now. Something really bad happened to my hand(slight mutation) If you really want to know go to the Hawthorn lanes bowling alley. Check locker 208. The combination is 0-34-19. Touch the glowey thing. And don’t say I didn’t warn you.
If pro is the opposite of con, and progress is moving forward, what is congress?
The chance that the bread will land butter-side-do
Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and the world laughs louder.
Life is the process of losing our illusions, until we finally lose the illusion that we are alive.
Life would be so much easier if everyone read the manual.
The meaning of life is there is no meaning of life because everyone has a diffrant meaning of life so there cannot be one true meaning of life.
-Emily(me)Anderson aka Morgaine Shadowing
Here is a very strange dream I had a few weeks ago:
The school went to a park and we had to be back before dark. We hiked doen to the beach which took three hours. We stayed at the beach for two hours and started back. It became dark and dinosaurs appered. One of the dinosaurs was able to shapeshift and it shapeshifed it to a little boy and follow us home. Later at shcool the dinosaur changed back in to a dinosaur and ruled the world. Luckly their was a seacret orginiztion called NHMS. The NHMS members of NHMS were me,Piper, Morgaine,Sophi
The Diamond is a ship me lads,
For the Davis Straits she's bound
And the Quay it is all garnished
With bonnie lassies round
Captain Thompson gives the order
To sail the ocean wide
Where the sun it never sets me lads
Nor darkness dims the sky.
Chorus:
And it's cheer up, me lads
Let your hearts never fail,
For the bonnie ship The Diamond
Goes a-fishing for the whale!
2. Along the quay at Peterhead
The lassies stand around
Wi' their shawls all pulled about them
And the salt tears runnin' down
Oh don't you weep, my bonnie lass,
Though you be left behind
For the rose will grow on Greenland's ice
Before we change our mind.
Chorus:
3. Here's a health to The Resolution,
Likewise the Eliza Swan
Here's a health to the Battler of Montrose
And The Diamond ship of fame
We wear the trousers of the white
And the jackets of the blue
When we return to Peterhead,
We'll hae sweethearts enoo.
Chorus:
4. It;ll be bright both day and night
When the Greenland lads come hame
Wi' a ship that's fu' o' oil me lads
And money to our name
We'll make the cradles for to rock
And the blankets for to tear
And every lass in Peterhead
Sing hushabye my dear!
Chorus:
The Higwayman
The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon the cloudy seas
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor
And the highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding,
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.
He'd a French cocked hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle; his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.
Over the cobbles he clattered nd clashed in the dark innyard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess, the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.
"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize tonight,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by the moonlight,
Watch for me by the moonlight,
I'll come to thee by the moonlight, though hell should bar the way.
He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand
But she loosened her hair i' the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet black waves in the moonlight!)
Then he tugged at his rein in the moonlight, and galloped away to the west.
He did not come at the dawning; he did not come at noon,
And out of the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching,
Marching, marching
King George's men came marching, up to the old inn-door.
They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at the casement, with muskets at their side!
there was death at every window
and hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through the casement,
The road that he would ride.
They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"now keep good watch!" And they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say
"Look for me by the moonlight
Watch for me by the moonlight
I'll come to thee by the moonlight, though hell should bar the way!"
She twisted her hands behind her, but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness and the hours crawled by like years!
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight,
Cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it!
The trigger at least was hers!
Tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horse-hoofs were ringing clear
Tlot-tlot, in the distance! Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding,
Riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming!
She stood up straight and still!
Tlot in the frosty silence! Tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment! She drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight,
Her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him with her death.
He turned; he spurred to the west; he did not know she stood
bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it; his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter,
The landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.
Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were the spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
when they shot him down on the highway,
Down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.
Still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon, tossed upon the cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding,
Riding, riding,
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.
I world is a wonerful place because I get to see my best friend, Piper on saterday.