[spongemonkey]'s diary

943583 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-29
Written: (6390 days ago)

I'm not even sick and I feel like I'm gonna vomit.

938385 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-05-10
Written: (6410 days ago)

jeeeeeeeeeeeeeesus. --;; *headdesk*

935267 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-04-30
Written: (6420 days ago)

holy god in heaven, it is SO BEAUTIFUL OUT. the night, I mean. and the trees. which are SO much nicer with leaves. oh man. sooo much. and the moon and the street lights and the air smells REALLY good too, man. everyone needs to go outside right now and I dunno. roll around in the grass or climb a tree and look at the sky or something. jeesus.

935203 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2007-04-29
Written: (6420 days ago)

there's sunscreen in my eye.

its real hurty. ;-; o_<

932946 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-04-23
Written: (6427 days ago)

Next in thread: 932970

new canvas!
new hair!
new skirt!
money!
old books & wallpaper!
rain!

:D

929592 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-04-13
Written: (6437 days ago)

Next in thread: 930003

WDCLT

what to do in case of large toads. :]

928228 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-04-09
Written: (6441 days ago)

Next in thread: 928234, 928265

Being Direct.

Many of us use indirect language to express our needs. You might say, "Are you hot?" when you really mean that you are hot and would like the air conditioner to be turned up. This kind of indirection leads to a lot of confusion. Some of it is harmless, but some miscommunication can lead to real problems--like date rape. As often happens, alcohol makes things even more complicated. If you have trouble understanding a statement when you are sober, think of how much more ambiguous it would be if you were drunk.

This exercise will give you some practice in being direct. Reword each of the indirect sentences below so that they clearly express a request.

Example: Do you know what time it is?
please tell me the time.

1.Would you mind passing me the bread?

[gimme that bread, mofo!]

2. Do you have room for me in your car?

[gimme a ride, mofo!]

3. Is this seat taken?

[can I sit here, mofo!?]

4. Do you think you could help me with my homework?

[help me with my homework, mofo!]

5. Would it bother you if I played some music?

[I'm gonna play some music, mofo!]

6. Are you finished eating those fries?

[gimme yo' fries, mofo!]

7. Are you busy Saturday night?

[Let's smoke hookah saturday, mofo!]

8. I'm washing my hair Saturday night.

[Holy christ NO, mofo!]

9. Are you sure you want another beer?

[You're WASTED, mofo!]

10. Would you like to see my room?

[Hey, mofo, lets touch!]

-----

Part 2: Making Decisions about Dating and Sex

Some of the most important decisions you'll ever have to make will involve dating and sex. Being intimate with another person can have all sorts of emotional and physical consequences--both good and bad. If you make rash decisions, you might put yourself at risk of pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, or HIV. Because it can be diffiult to make solid decisions when you are in the heat of the moment--and even tougher if you've had a few drinks--it makes sense to decide now what you want out of dating and sex.

So take some time to think about and answer the questions below.
This is a private exercise; you don't have to show it to anyone.

List three important characteristics of your ideal boyfriend or girlfriend
1. [ Nice ]
2.p[ funny ]
3.[They have to be 17 feet tall and carry a giant flaming sword]

On a date, what are three activities you most enjoy?
1.[enjoying each other]
2.[ laughing ]
3.[smitting the rightious and impure in the name of our dark lord]

Who would pay for your date? How much money would you bring with you in case of emergency?
  [you, mrs. morrison. you are going to pay. you are going to pay for my date. PAAAAAY. I wouldn't carry money, I would haggle.]

How would you get home from your date? What alternate plan would you have for getting home by yourself, if necessary?
   [my spaceship, as spaceships need no "alternate plans"!]

How well do you have to know someone before you...

...kiss? [ 80 years ]
...make out? [ fishbowl ]
...have sexual intercourse? [(Chef says not till I'm 17)]

Where are three acceptable places for a romantic encounter to take place?

1. [The methadone clinic ]
2. [mattress factory]
3. [middle of the freeway ]

What are three things that would be unacceptable on a date or during a sexual encounter?

1. [Projectile vomiting into my shoes ]
2. [drowning bats ]
3. [striping down and covering yourself in creamed corn, then making me tape ferrets licking it off.]

----

hmmmm...
I think I remember why I failed Mrs. Morrison's class. :]

926171 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-04-03
Written: (6447 days ago)

Next in thread: 927876

close the doors and pull the shades and climb the walls.

923770 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-03-26
Written: (6454 days ago)

Next in thread: 925183

its that time of year again.

the time of year I realize I need friends who DON'T play soccer.

vv

921197 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-03-19
Written: (6462 days ago)

I had forgotten how much I love beck.

so, sooo much. is the correct answer, by the way, if you were curious. :]

920227 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-03-15
Written: (6465 days ago)

Next in thread: 920825

some people would like me to think its a bad thing to have a six inch layer of shit covering my entire floor, but when I drop a full bottle of paint-saturated white spirit and permenetly stain three shirts, a pair of jeans, my bag, some papers and seven or so toilet paper tubes but NOT the carpet! who'll be laughing?

920181 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-03-15
Written: (6465 days ago)

I had a dream the other night I beat kamil senseless for scotch-taping me to bjorn. we were in a ballet studio. it was pretty funny. :]

917705 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2007-03-07
Written: (6473 days ago)

really now.
I don't ask for much, but I thought food was a given.

917135 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-03-06
Written: (6475 days ago)

sooo...

science homework, or SILLY PUTTY?!?!?!?!?

I don't think I even have to tell you which. :]

916073 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2007-03-03
Written: (6478 days ago)

Next in thread: 916132, 916547

Dear Sophia Loren,

I don't know if I've ever told you this in person, but I am fairly certain you are actually a space monster rather than a human being.

http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/170613~Sophia-Loren-Posters.jpg

sincerly,

Almore.

914977 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-27
Written: (6481 days ago)

Next in thread: 915333

for whatever reason, my robe smells like dead dogs.

914638 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-02-27
Written: (6482 days ago)

so, my day goes like this.
okay
V
V
V
V
V
bad
V
V
V
V
V
still bad
V
V
V
V
V
way better.

hooray for sebastian-mood-elevating-powers. :]

911157 Link to this entry
Written about Saturday 2007-02-17
Written: (6492 days ago)

Next in thread: 911802

I would like this to be in writing, so I can look at it in a couple of hours and remind myself why I think its okay to do now.

because, your head will fucking GLOW.

but just maybe chlorox isn't the way to do things.

:]

but I think it is.

hoorah!

908721 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2007-02-11
Written: (6498 days ago)

Next in thread: 908722

low= gone. :]
in case you were curious.

ps. three cheers for this stuff I'm eating!!

907484 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-02-08
Written: (6501 days ago)

Next in thread: 907561

I am feeling loooooooooow. and took it out on pretty much everyone today. so,um, sorry, everyone.
aye, aye, but actually no ones gonna read this, so maybe I should grow a fucking spine and stop being a little ass hole.
(blink twice if you read this)

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