Though I have a perfectly wonderful boyfriend, I still want Drew. Isn't that so sad? He doesnt like me. Or if he does, he sure doesnt act like it, the mean bastard....He actually made me cry Friday! Here's the note he wrote me

Amanda,
 I want you to understand, it has nothing to do with you, or any one else, I just don't want a relationship right now. In answer to your question, I really have no answer. I don't want to say yes and have you stressing over time, waiting for it, and possibly in vair were I to begin another relationship later. On the other hand, I don't want to say no, then later change my mind, or even possibly upset you.
 Please don't be upset about this, but maybe soon. The main problem is time, and once this play is finally over with I may be able to actually do something. Still though, please don't obsess over it, the pressure is very stressful.
 But anyway, I do like you and I think your a good person, but I think maybe leaving our relationship as friends where it is is best.
                                                                            Love you,
                                                                            Drew Hamrick

I gave Drew a note today. It pretty much said that I like him, and want to know if I will ever have a chance with him. He hasn't spoken to me since. I hope I have a chance though. If I do, I will wait as long as I have to. Forever if I must.

I kinda broke up with my boyfriend today. This is what happened: I told some of my friends how I was planning on breaking up with Jacob today, and they told him. First he cornered me after 3rd block and asked "What the HELL is going on?" I didnt say anything. I just looked at him and made him let go of my hoodie. He then walked off.
Then after fourth block, he corners me by my locker and says: "Trey, Shannon, Mary, Larry... They told me what you said." I just looked at him. I couldnt think of anything to say. I got up, and moved to touch his arm, (you know, in that comferting, sympathetic way) and he pushes me and walks off saying, "I hope you're FUCKING HAPPY!" (Emphasis on fucking a pause then even more emphasis on happy)

Nothing he could have said hurt more than that. I started walking towards the auditorium, tears welling up, eyes staring at the floor, when who do I run into but four of my friends: Erika, her boyfrind, D.J., and Kayla (yes, Patrick's Kayla.) She asked me why I was crying. I said I wasnt and pushed my way past her and DJ who was trying to get me to tell them what was wrong. I went to the auditorum for rehursal, and look behind me and see Jacob whom Kayla had told I was crying, trying to catch up with me. I ran and hid in the auditorium, yelling as I went in, "If Jacob askes, I'm NOT here!" Drew asked me why I was hiding and I hit him. Not a second after that I heard the door open. April (another friend) confronted him and told him she had no clue where I was, and then I heard him punch the wall and yell "Damn it" before he left.

Jacob scares me....

i wish i could drive. i'm so bored. and i have to clean my room today... or no patrick... damn mother...

Spriggan is awesome. I watched it for the third time today. I miss my boyfriend!! His name is Patrick Waters, and he's hot and nice and TOO DANG SHY!!! ANYway, I haven't seen him in an entire week! At least he calls me though....but i wanna see him...

Metropolis and Akira are really cool movies. i wish i were that talented. But, sadly, I am but a novice.... I wish I were as good as Miyazaki-san.