The past is only a stepping stone to our futures. Don't forget that we shape our tomorrows by what we do today. And when one is vigilant of these facts we'll steer ourselves to an acceptable future.

Feeling like I am dead on my feet feeling like i could fall over but I will remain vigilant, I will remain standing. I will not fail despite the wishes of my nemesi.

Feeling fatigued. Not been sleeping well at all lately. Hoping to get my life back in order. Keeping things at work in order doesn't matter if I can't organize or salvage anything from my personal life.

I absolutely enjoy when assholes make threats against my life over the internet. Enter the law. I hate assholes. I hate them very much. I hate the ones that try to control everything.

By the wayside I have fallen... I'm just debris floating in space.

Discovering that I am not worth anything as of late. Not even sure if I am still considered an entity.

My heart is burning a hole through my chest and I just want to let it out.

I suppose I should be delighted that I am only second best. That my total worth is similar to that of which is considered the other white meat. As if to say the sum of my worth despite all of my endeavors is only worth dross. There's much more to life when you aspire to be high than the gutter or the stars above them. When you want to be successful in spite of nay saying and traitors cowards who much rather abandon you to the wolves than help you when your steps falter. I dare to pick myself up, brush myself off and try again. I dare to want the things that are inalienable to my life, liberty and pursuit of happiness provided the feelings are mutual. What's the point of survival when the definition is not to flourish in the face of adversity? What's the point of pleasantries when you're dealing with ungrateful faggots? I'll tell you the point: It's because when you prove them wrong, when you redefine the moment or how something is done all the people who've tried to stop you will only be forced to eat their words and frolic about in the petty worlds with their delusions of eloquence.

Man I am exhausted. I am going to have to be aggressive the next few weeks. Provided i survive.

I guess I'm just another bad guy.

You're a member of the elite now. The world will be your oyster and the horn of plenty shall be available. While the rest of us our dying you'll be with the high and mighty spared our harsh fate. Though you don't really belong, they'll keep you so long as your useful.

Dear Shit Beard and Bitch Flocket,

I hate you both. You're both shitty people with horrible in tastes in anything cultured. Your life style habits and lack of hygiene are disgusting. Honestly I wish ya'll would just get eaten by zombies or abducted by aliens for an extended and permanent anal-probing. Seriously though if you think being petty with me will work then I suggest you think again. I can raise quite the shit storm when motivated. Especially when I go a crusading.

Thanks for wasting my time- douche bags,

I am fighting a multi-front war. I am exhausted. I need a change in scenery. I am not a slave anymore so don't like I'm amongst the ranks of the indentured.If you want my help then accept the fact even though terms may be negotiable respect for both parties should be constant.

I feel so dead right now.

Fighting exhaustion and isolation. Not sure if I've been winning. Not sure what I am doing but I do hope to survive.

I feel like there is a drill in my brain keeping me from being able to think. I am so sick of flakes. It's not winter or breakfast.

Well I am getting better but I need more time to sleep. It seems when I drop gaming altogether and work and come home there's never enough time to rest.

My health has been deteriorating lately. Been losing some weight but the nose bleeds and headaches are getting to me. I've been so very lonely lately. And I honestly don't know what I should do. Trying to hang in but I find my world is getting smaller everyday. I've got to get a grip but it's slipping away from me.

Obviously you need your space and I'm invading. I'll give you space for a bit. Hopefully we'll see the light and realize what the true problem is.

My Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test ( http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-quick-painless-enneagram-test ) scored me as "8- The Asserter" which is a very accurate description of me if you feel like reading it.

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

* Stand up for yourself... and me.
* Be confident, strong, and direct.
* Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
* Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
* Give me space to be alone.
* Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
* I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
* When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being an EIGHT

* Being independent and self-reliant...
* Being able to take charge and meet challenges head on...
* Being courageous, straightforward, and honest...
* Getting all the enjoyment I can out of life...
* Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me...
* Upholding just causes...

What's Hard About Being an EIGHT

* Overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to...
* Being restless and impatient with others' incompetence...
* Sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it...
* Never forgetting injuries or injustices...
* Putting too much pressure on myself...
* Getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right...

Well halle-fuckin'-lujah! I found one of those darn fangled personality tests. Here are the results:

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

 * Stand up for yourself... and me.
 * Be confident, strong, and direct.
 * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
 * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
 * Give me space to be alone.
 * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
 * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
 * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a EIGHT

 * being independent and self-reliant
 * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
 * being courageous, straightforward, and honest
 * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
 * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
 * upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a EIGHT

 * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
 * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
 * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
 * never forgetting injuries or injustices
 * putting too much pressure on myself
 * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

EIGHTs as Children Often

 * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
 * are sometimes loners
 * seize control so they won't be controlled
 * figure out others' weaknesses
 * attack verbally or physically when provoked
 * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

EIGHTs as Parents

 * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
 * are sometimes overprotective
 * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Here's the link if you want an easy personality test: http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-quick-painless-enneagram-test