[lacklustre]'s diary

1121915  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-08-28
Written: (5204 days ago)
Next in thread: 1121929

I'm confused since it appears that no one understand me. I understand them but it's like whatever because it would appear they don't care, my heart is so full of hurt over the way the past year has panned out for me. It's been nothing but loneliness and pain and I want things to go well for everyone and myself and it never does I try so hard to keep it together but no one else picks up the slack. So I'm getting pulled off ship inch by inch and for what? People that don't appreciate or love me. The only I have going for me is that I'm always outnumbered but never outgunned.

1121155  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-08-12
Written: (5220 days ago)

The difference between man and gods is weakness. Our vulnerabilities range the cosmos yet define us more so as beautiful, brilliant burning effigies to serve purposes of absent creators.

1120022  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-07-23
Written: (5240 days ago)

I am fucking exhausted. I wish my friend of forever friendship would actually contact me back when I try to contact them. It would be awesome and make me feel less shitty.

1119770  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-07-19
Written: (5244 days ago)

http://dirkrichards.deviantart.com/art/Badass-of-another-kind-171866683 new art

today is the day. My failaversary. The ending of an era to herald in another. Not saying that things are shit but I am also not saying they're perfect. I am saying things changed. Choices were made, bad ones, selfish ones made outside of logic or rational reason. You don't get to be a god, you don't get to be right this time. You get to sit this one out in the personal hell you've trapped yourself in because it is not my fault you went there. You only went because the choice was yours and you thought it was genuinely a better one. Or so manipulation would lead you to believe. There is no justification that makes what you did right. You sinned that day and there is no confessional both or church service that is going to remove that taint you wrought upon yourself that day. The people you let act without direction or control had their try and their little bit of fun but at the end of this I know I was right. I know that despite all the harmful intentions you had planned or that affiliated parties had planned that I persevered. Note that trash will always be trash and there is no amount of lysol, perfume or pinesol that will clean up the shit of deceit and hatred they harbor for those who've weathered hell and it's infernos to come out living. Via Con Dios Muchacha! May you one day earn the redemption through hard work and tears though at present you don't deserve it.

1119003  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-07-05
Written: (5258 days ago)
1118763  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-06-30
Written: (5264 days ago)

The most bloodiest battles I've fought, I've fought alone.

1118313  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-06-21
Written: (5273 days ago)
1117784  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-06-10
Written: (5284 days ago)

Godamnit. This whole week has been fucking depressing. I wish people would quit with the dying and shit. It's honestly very aggravating. I hate not being able to do something about it. I wish I wasn' out in the black all by myself. I feel fucking alone on this one. And where is everybody?

1116383  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-05-15
Written: (5310 days ago)

Still in success you can fail. If perception is not noticed of the lessons learned.

1116382  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2010-05-15
Written: (5310 days ago)

The passed year has been a clusterfuck. At least I am alive and am lucky enough to know good people. So this battle ain't always mine to fight alone. Life is short and the stories people tell are tall. Generally I am forgiving and I would be forgiving when people would admit fault and guilt of their selfish actions. I absolutely can't stand betrayal. And especially can't stand liars especially one's who do not understand me and still insist on speaking about me on my "behalf."

1113386  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-03-29
Written: (5356 days ago)
Next in thread:

I want a fucking breaking. Goddamn idiots. If only St.Darwin would here my prayers. Argh! Stupid people and their inability to fuck off.

1112605  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-03-17
Written: (5369 days ago)

I want to lay waste to the injustices in this modern era. I am tired.

1111419  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-03-01
Written: (5384 days ago)

my chest hurts aa bit right now.

1110812  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-02-22
Written: (5392 days ago)

I am the master of fighting up hill battles. I am the master of making my enemies pay for every inch they try to take away from me. Win or lose, I am more than a foot note in the bloody sands of history.

1110482  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2010-02-18
Written: (5395 days ago)
Next in thread: 1110496

my god I can smell blood. But I am not bleeding. Or covered or near blood. What the hell.

1110201  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2010-02-14
Written: (5399 days ago)
Next in thread: 1110214

RAWR! Fucking fuckin hell I hate Valentines day. Seriously cupid if I had an AA gun I'd shoot your ass down! >.<

1109862  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2010-02-10
Written: (5403 days ago)

Man alive. People in management positions are very lazy. In fact they get nothing done usually unless they never forget they're just as much of a piss ant as any of the rest of us who have to work for our money.

1109657  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-02-09
Written: (5404 days ago)

woke up feeling nauseous. Still feeling horrible. My insides hurt alot. Will drink water till I ascertain what is ailing me. I wish I had help right now.

1109651  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2010-02-09
Written: (5404 days ago)

Of the things that I can do well, one of them is being good at fighting losing battles hell I almost make the victory of my enemies Pyrrhic. And that's no easy task.

Second, I seem to be good at being isolated despite wanting to be out there. Maybe I'm too far out. Hell I don't even know anymore.

1109515  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2010-02-08
Written: (5406 days ago)

Make the pain stop.

1109349  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2010-02-05
Written: (5408 days ago)

Question: why is it that everything can be rationalized as both good and bad once you blur the line enough?

Answer: If we blur then line then there shall be no standards. There shall be no means with which to conduct ourselves. You've blurred then lines and you've had to pay dearly before in the past. One should not go out of one's way to repeat the past in future iterations of the present.

 The logged in version 

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