The long silence.
lord help me.
why are these nights always so long?
The lateness of hour makes the earliest of mornings. Exhaustion is but a term used by the weak to describe the sensation of loneliness and fatigue at the hands insomnia. Yet I know this, yet it matters not, my design in this scheme small and foreboding to the things that are to come. Portentially, potentially a long a time coming since the mark has been made, waiting for a trigger, I'll be taking the initiative.
I wish I was indestructible when the hurt comes a rumbling.
It doesn't matter how much damage the frame takes when heart break hit's like a wrecking ball.
A blow felled is still a stumble and a humbling to a knee when I want to stand proud.
Got all the time in the world and patience isn't going to have it my way.
I'll shrug it all soon enough when the weight gets to be too much but till then I'm carrying a world of hurt.
Tough shit isn't impossible to overcome, but come on when it's time to dare I better win.
Cold. Tired. Need warmth.
I've started the new year on the defensive. Constantly having to exile myself since others will not stand with me as the tide approaches. Even with limited employment it's been hard and I am struggling to keep a smile on my face even just for formalities sake. I would say that I am 'trying' but to say, "I try" means to invite failure. Failure may be the foundation of success but too much of it is like cancer. So I will continue to do what I can until I cannot do anymore then I pray someone will gather the wherewithal to stand with me and help me to my feet when I hit the pavement. I would say I trust but that's a word that's as scarce as love; fleeting and cherished when it's expressed.
http://lordhal
Harpoon through the heart.
I guess I am crazy enough to fuckin' try.
Good afternoon folks! I've finished another blog! http://lordhal
howdy folks, I'm still around. Just updated my blog for those that check this space: http://lordhal
http://lordhal
http://lordhal
Man I wish I had good to report. These days just leave me feeling like I can't catch my breath. Like trying to live in a vacuum. A void where good intentions go to die and the right seems to always get me into the red. Why I haven't gone on a rampage is beyond me. I suppose I have some semblance of respect for life when life shows no respect towards me. Insects and the like wishing I could crush them provided karma is on a lunch break. Needing a break, needing something to fight for that let's me know I have some kind of future. Some kind of a hope for a tomorrow that is just beyond this now. I need something, I need someone. I need to kick some kind of ass. I need to live. I need love. I need. Not want since a want isn't what's needed for survival. I need to survive telling adversity I will surmount it with luxury.
This shit fucking hurts. This weekend was a rout.
I don't know what I did wrong but I definitely feel like heaven has severed part of it's connection with me. Been suffering from psychic shock all day. Which means something happened somewhere else. I wish I could get the answers I deserve.
Despite perceptions of the world. There is grey when black and white collide. Remember a villain is someone pragmatic enough to sacrifice the bottom line to further goals for a greater good. Though almost always the impact of their actions has negative consequences since for each action there is an equal or opposite reaction. Thus is the law of constants. Henceforth science. We all learn something new everyday.
I guess I ain't much but shit these days by people's standards. Though being standardized is like being sterilized and sadly euthanized over an experience through time. I don't think I'll stand around and let simple folk ostracize me for their hypothesies and hypocracies. Simple people may be the majority though there's no mercy for them if they will the wise to the gallows over dictation of those who'd sooner make it than being broken down. Fuckin' A. The things we do for love yet we fall short of our goals when our intentions are not read clearly. One shouldn't have to bear a flag when in sublety. Though this one dares to be bold when it's time to adverse to oppression and suppression of the things we endeavor to keep. Falling down though struggling past the wayside. This year'll bring an end if we let stop us from a new beginning. Fuckin' Amen and all that righteous jazz.