APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER
Application To Date My Daughter...
APPLICANT USE ONLY:Name: Last__________
Age:____
Address:______
Religion:_____
Number of Attendence's in school this last year____
Parents:
Fathers Name:_________
Address:______
Mothers Name:_________
Address:______
1. Do You Own Or Drive A Van?______(IF SO Please Discontinue Filling Out Form)
2. In 50 Words or less, describe what NO!!!!! Means To You___________
3. In 50 Words Or Less, Describe What LATE!!!! Means To You___________
4. Where Would You Least Like To Be Shot?_________
5. Which Is The Last Bone You Want Broken?_______
6. What Do You Want To Be IF You Grow Up?___________
7. The Place For a WOMAN is?___________
8. What Is My Daughter's NAME?_________
9. Who Besides GOD Should YOU FEAR The Most?_________
PARENTAL USE ONLY:
Apperance Looks Like:Status:
Orlando Bloom____Accep
David Letterman____R
Pee-Wee Herman____Pend
NOTE: This Application Will Be Incomplete And Rejected Unless Accompanied By A COMPLETE Financial Statement, Job History, Lineage, And Current Medical Report From Your Doctor.
NAME:_________
HEIGHT:_______
SOCIAL SCEURITY #:____________
DRIVERS LICENSE #:____________
BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES:_______
HOME ADDRESS:______
CITY / STATE:________
DO YOU AS A PARENT OWN A VAN?______ A TRUCK WITH OVER SIZED TIRES?______
APPLICANT USE ONLY:
Do You Have ONE Male And ONE Felamle Parent?_______
If No, Explain_______
Have You Ever Been Married?______
DO YOU OWN: (ANSWER YES OR NO)
A Waterbed?_____
A Pickup WIth A Mattress In The Back?______
A Condom(s)?______
Pornography?__
Nose Ring?______
Belly Button Ring?______
Earring?______
Tattoo?______(IF YOU ANSWER YES TO ANY OF THE ABOVE DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES)
In 50 Words Or Less, What Does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER, Mean To You?__________
In 50 Words Or Less, What Does ABSTINENCE Mean To You?__________
When Would Be The Best Time To Interview Your Father, Mother, And Priest?_______
Answer By Filling In The Blank:
PLEASE ANSWER FREELY, ALL ANSWERS ARE CONFIDENTIAL (THAT MEAN I WOUNT EVER TELL ANYONE)
The One Thing I Hope This Application Does Not Ask Me About is____________
When I First Meet A Girl, The First Thing I Notice About Her Is____________
NOTE: If The Above Answer Begins With a Tor A, Discontinue. Leaving Premises Keeping Your Head Low And Running In A Serpentine Fashion Is Advised.
What Is The GOing Rate Of A Hotel Room?_________
Condoms Come In Packages of (CIRCLE ONE)
A: 3
B: 6
C: 9
D: 12
E: ALL OF THE ABOVE
I SWEAR THAT ALL THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE AND RED HOT POKERS.
______________
Signature (that means sign your name)
Thank You For Your Interest. Please Allow Four To Six Years For Processing. You Will be Contacted in Writing If You Are Approved,Pleas
If Your Application Is Rejected, You Will Be Notified By Two Gentleman Wearing White Ties Carrying Violin Cases(You Might Want To Watch Your Back).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's your first time. As you lie back your
muscles tighten. You put him
off for a while searching for an excuse, but he
;refuses to be swayed as he
approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you
shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first
time his finger has found
the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver;
your body tenses; but
he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks
deeply within your eyes
and tells you to trust him - he's done this many
times before. His cool
smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him
;more room for an easy
entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause you as little pain as
possible. As he presses
;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give
way; pain surges throughout
your body and you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues. He
looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too
painful.Your eyes are
filled with tears but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on. He
begins going in and out with skill but you are
now too numb to feel him
within you. After a few moments, you feel
something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to
have it over. He looks
at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a
chuckle; that you have been
his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your
dentist. After all,it was your first time to have
a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
What were you thinkin' ?
PERVERT
I know what you were thinking!
{I want to give you a hug but,
a hug leads to a kiss,
a kiss leads to a lick,
a lick leads to a suck,
a suck leads to a fuck.
hmm... wanna hug?~?~?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
a peach is a peach
a plum is a plum
a kiss ain't a kiss
with out some tongue
so open your mouth
and close your eyes
and give your tongue
some EXERCISE!!!! }
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sex is like math u add the bed subtract the
clothes divide the legs and hope u dont
multiply
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
my iq means:
Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind. And that's just some of what we know about you from your test results.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[KINKY KINKY KINKY KINKY!!!THAT"S ME!!!!
KINKY PEOPLE ROCK THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~ As i walk
through the valley
of the shadow of death
i fear no evil
(for i am the baddest mother f#@ker in the land)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be a failure at something i love,
than a success at smething i hate
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
333
only half evil
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fat people are hard to kidnapp
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't knock on heaven's door
.....ring the bell and run away
(he hates that)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't give me that
"Kinkier that thou" look!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello officer
(put it on my tab)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't think the police help?
next time you are in trouble
try calling a crackhead.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Damn right i've been naughty!
now spank my evil butt!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I RUN WITH SCISSORS!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[I DO WHATEVER THE VOICES IN MY BOYFRIENDS HEAD TELL ME TO DO]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Can't talk now
(the squirrels are watching)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**HEAVILY MEDICATED**
*FOR YOUR PROTECTION*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nuttier than a squirrel turd!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I hear voices,
and they don't like you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One by one,
the yard gnomes
steal my sanity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crazy enough to kill
(and smart enough to get away with it)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE
THE VOICES ARE TALKING TO ME!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHAOS,
PANIC,
DISORDER,
(i see my work here is done)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not totaly useless!!!
I can be used as a bad example
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a shame that stupidity isn't painful
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SARCASM
it's only one of the services i offer
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DO I LOOK LIKE A F#@KING PEOPLE PERSON?!?!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MY SHITTY ATTITUDE
IS NONE OF YOUR
F#@KING BUSINESS!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't analyse my beliefs,
and i won't pick out the flaws in yours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FIGHT CRIME
shoot back
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think,
therefore we have nothing in common
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'll try being nicer
if you try being smarter
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'M MULTI-TALENTED
i can talk AND piss you off at the same time
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's better to be an open sinner
than a false saint
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT'S ALL ABOUT THE PAIN
the jewelry and ink are just souvenirs
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THEY SAID TO FOLLOW MY DREAMS
.....TOO BAD THEY WERE ALL NIGHTMARES!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You tell me that i sin,
You say i'm bound for hell,
So once your judgement condemns you,
I SHALL SEE YOU THERE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NECROPHILIA:
Lay back,
and crack open a cold one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[DON'T WORRY,
IT ONLY SEEMS KINKY
THE FIRST TIME]*evil grin*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I LEAVE BITE MARKS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON MY ENEMIES
because i sure as hell won't
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why is there enough religion to incite war,
but not enough religion to instill tolerance?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's better to die on your feet,
than to live on your knees
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TRAMPLE THE WEAK
HURDLE THE DEAD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES....
....after they are slain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The weak shall inherit......
NOTHING
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it's better to be hated
for what you are
than to be loved
for what you are not
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DON'T JUDGE ME
BASED ON YOUR IGNORANCE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I do not go where the path leads.
i instead create my own path
....and leave a trail
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MARCH FEARLESS
THROUGH TRENCHES
OF ADVERSITY
LEAVE DYING PLEAS
IN YOUR WAKE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sometimes,
"THE MAJORITY"
only means
all the fools are
on the same side
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pay no mind to
those who talk
behind your back,
it simply means
that you are
two steps ahead
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'M SO SORRY THAT I CAN'T MAKE ALL OF YOU HAPPY!!!!!just kidding!!!lol. la la la la la.blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
::I wrote ur name in the sand,but the waves washed it away. I wrote ur name on my hand,but I washed it the next day. I wrote ur name on a piece of paper but I accidently threw it away...I wrote ur name in my heart and forever it will stay!!::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need::Him to not lie
I find::Loneline
I want::To belive him
I have::Nothing left
I wish::for him to listen
I love::Him
I hate::Me
I fear::Losing Him
I feel::Hurt
I hear::Silence
I crave::the truth
I search for::Him
I wonder::If he loves her
I regret::Being so hateful
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*You know ur in love when all you can think about is that one special person and you can't stand to be away from them for more then one second. You miss then even though they're standin right next to you. You fall asleep thinkin about them and dream about them every night.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:ONE DAY U'LL COME UP TO ME AND ASK ME WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT: YOU OR MY LIFE. I'LL SAY MY LIFE AND U'LL WALK AWAY NEVER KNOWIN THAT U R MY LIFE.::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
don't ever give up, if you still wanna try.... don't wipe you eyes, if you still wanna cry.... Don't stop asking questions, if you still wanna know ... Don't say you don't love him, if can't let him go!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's so hard to tell everyone you don't love him, when he's the only one you will ever love!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I miss the kisses that mean something!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
the worst feeling is seeing the boy you love... love someone else!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm not sad that I loved you, I'm sad that I lost you forever just because I said something stiupd!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never knew how much i loved you til I lost you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love walking in the rain.. no one can seeing that I'm crying over you!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHY CANT A GURL FIND THE RIGHT MAN????
::I wrote ur name in the sand,but the waves washed it away. I wrote ur name on my hand,but I washed it the next day. I wrote ur name on a piece of paper but I accidently threw it away...I wrote ur name in my heart and forever it will stay!!::
I need::Him to not lie
I find::Loneline
I want::To belive him
I have::Nothing left
I wish::for him to listen
I love::Him
I hate::Me
I fear::Losing Him
I feel::Hurt
I hear::Silence
I crave::the truth
I search for::Him
I wonder::If he loves her
I regret::Being so hateful
*You know ur in love when all you can think about is that one special person and you can't stand to be away from them for more then one second. You miss then even though they're standin right next to you. You fall asleep thinkin about them and dream about them every night.*
::ONE DAY U'LL COME UP TO ME AND ASK ME WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT: YOU OR MY LIFE. I'LL SAY MY LIFE AND U'LL WALK AWAY NEVER KNOWIN THAT U R MY LIFE.::
don't ever give up, if you still wanna try.... don't wipe you eyes, if you still wanna cry.... Don't stop asking questions, if you still wanna know ... Don't say you don't love him, if can't let him go!
~It's so hard to tell everyone you don't love him, when he's the only one you will ever love!
~I miss the kisses that mean something!
~the worst feeling is seeing the boy you love... love someone else!
~I'm not sad that I loved you, I'm sad that I lost you forever just because I said something stiupd!
~I never knew how much i loved you til I lost you!
~ I love walking in the rain.. no one can seeing that I'm crying over you!
HA I Finally Met THe Man Of My Dreams he is soo sweet and kind i hope to spend the rest of my life with him I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH!!!
I LOVE YOU JIMMY [raceing cars]
REALLY REALLY REALLY BORED!?!?!?!?!
im havin a happy vlentines day woth nobody and sittin here bein bored out of my mind with nothin to really write
im soo bored and need some1 to send me a message
Hi my name is Alyssa and i am new to this whole elftown thing if ne1 could e-mail me and tell me how that would be nice