[xm3]'s diary
first day of vacation:
the last time today i'll use my computer.
going out of town.
i'll try to find tranquility somewhere.
funny, i was very anxious to go home when i was insid ethe hopital but now can stand it being locked inside. i hate living at the last floor of this building.
too many stairsteps!
use the elevator!!! ever heard of claustrophobia?
.....and so, i'm home, i had a flu, been coughing for three days now.... finally, the sun found its way out of the clouds. YAY! it's sunny outside. maybee, i'll just go out with Spike! and Slimer by the lake shore and "meditate" to look for some peace and relaxation. call my boss this morning. he said i can take my vacation that i miss due to my stay in the hospital. so tomorrow, i'll leave for a week vacation at Liguria Region. i might stay either in Livorno or Genoa. i'm not sure yet.
i just need to be alone for a while.
good-bye BEAST
courtesy of the local newspaper "Tre"
the question is: HOW IN THE HELL DID WE SURVIVE IN THAT CRASH?
Written about Saturday 2005-09-10
Written: (7017 days ago)
home at last! actually, i arrived last wednesday but there was a thunderstorms that lasted 'til friday. caught a flu and... guess what?! in bed again for two days with 38.5°C to 39°C of fever!!! i was blabbering all the time (according to my bro). it always happens when i'm ill.
i just dropped by to look for news and mails but my head was turning and, literally, don't understand a thing of what i'm doing.
the storm was over and it's hot again (it's supposed to be autumn already) but i was frezzing. never been that bad since i was 13 years old..... decades ago!
now, i feel better... uhm... mostly. aside from the car accident remembrance, the sore throat due to excessive coughing(i can immitate The Godfather's voice! ^_^), and slight cold, the rest is going so-so.
i'll take my vacation on Monday. let's hope for a good weather this week. maybe i'll be out of town. but this time, i'll gonna take the train to go there. my "BEAST" is a total wreck and can be repaired but will cost like a brand new one... so *sigh* i'm looking forward for another 206.
and.....
Slimer kicks ass! Spike! cannot stand a chance when their playing. the Sunshine, the kitten loves playing with Spike!'s tail. i must capture them in video next time. and Buster, the cottontail dwarf rabbit, is the same lemme-eat-and-
in a world where everybody hates
a happy ending story.
it's a wonder love can make the world go round.
but don't let it bring you down
and turn your face into a frown
you'll get along with a little hope and a song...
Written about Saturday 2005-09-03
Written: (7024 days ago)
make the best of your circumstances.
no one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow
intermingled with gladness of life.
the trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
you can't please everybody. don't let criticism
worry you.
been talking to my old schoolmate, [Devilock], lately since my bro is very busy with his affairs (vacation).
it was like the old days, we never talked that much. actually, we never talked back then.
we talked about her exes, her old fiends and friends, her folks. mostly, her's.
i rarely open myself up. it gives me heartaches :)
i wish i have a heart disease at least i already know what's the cause of those heartaches. LOL
....and i saw my reflection in a snow covered hill
'til a landslide brought it down... Fleetwood Mac
finally, the body "armor" has been removed but i still have to wear this things. DAMN! can' stand it anymore. can't wait to go home.
on Sunday, there's going to be a free Korn-Rasmus-Li
i guess being faithful is not good if a person doesn't believe you.
but i'll keep on hoping.
at least i can console myself.
yeah right!!
hoping!
hoping is like fooling oneself.
so, i'll just keep on fooling myself then!!!
alone
you've got your brilliant borders
your grandiose throne.
you've got everything you wanted
but still there's something wrong
all you've now accomplished
is just one big charade.
because everytime you sleep
is the same when your awake......
...alone
so put it all away
into a brand new day.
do what you must
but the problem doesn't fade.
as nothing that now happens
can make things change.
the fact that you must
face the problems you are....
...alone
so past these brilliant borders
you now must venture on.
past a personal wasteland
it's best to try to make a home.
cross into tomorrow
and build a brand new throne.
or forever be content to live your life....
...alone
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold
CROSSFADE- Cold
Written about Tuesday 2005-08-30
Written: (7027 days ago)
good thing the doctor say that i can use the computer if there's nothing to do at the hospital's reception.
they caught me yesterday while using the internet. but they didn't say a thing. i just said: "i'm just reading [get-well-soon cards]!" lol
HAHA!
i'll make and fulfill a lot of promises just to log-in!
i know it's pathetic. but hanging around in this boring hospital for 3 three weeks is like hell! i mean, still with those dog foods that they bring, this hot and sticky bed, with this "armor" i have to wear. it's not the hell io wanted!!!!
ii got a new "room mate". same accident but he's the one responsible. he'll be staying here for4 days only!!!! and THAT pisses me off too! DARN IT!
well, times up folks. maybe next week i can go back home. i can't wait. i just need the final x-ray this friday and let's hope that evrything's fine. *fingers crossed*
time's up! gotta go. I MISS YOU ALL! *KISSES*
finally, i found a way to log in (thanks to the nurse here who's very nice). been lying here and almost pale. can't move without a wheel-chair. damn two weeks is like eternity. good thing there's that "bastard"->(a way of expressing how much i love my bro) of a brother of mine who kept me updated to what was going on here and the othew site. messin' up with my diary, wikis.... even made a wiki for me without my permission. can't delete those photos. good thing he's on vacation so he can access my house any more. gotta change my password again.
i don't know if it's good or bad to be back. but i'm at ease now that i FINALLY *punches both arms upward* i made it in just for some seconds although, finding out that i loss one Relation, it's very sad. i know it's my fault if i'm me. can't be like [xm2].(thanks bro, if ever you'll read this.)
WHAT?! even uploaded my songs without permission. oh well, i guess this is his revenge for those stuffs that we've done(brotherly thing).
i'll be adding another thing in my poetrusic. i made a lot dduring my stay here in the hospital. this boring hospital.
i guess, it's bye-bye for now. i don't know when will i be back here. i really hope sooner. can't stand it anymore here. I HATE MEDICINES!
for you
poetry without a rhyme'not just my pain,
you're my anger.
as i stare in your eyes i fades out.
so i wish to wake up
beside where i can see your eyes.
and if it will be now,
help me find my way now.
you're the little answer
on the last piece of this puzzle.
oh i wish to walk with you
along the sunset near shore.
and if it will be now,
hold meby the way. let's go now.
there was a trust
that made this man to grow.
but from up of it all
he'll gonna die for you.
but his little heart
is not just a heart.
it is a flame
that will never die.
"please, oh my love.
just please don't give up on me.
i will do everything
that you ask from me.
i may never be perfect
and may not be true.
can't promise i'll always be there for you."
"....i'll wait for you, i'll die without you."
Written about Wednesday 2005-08-17
Written: (7041 days ago)
Depressed.
Can't tell the reason.
P.S.
http://www.mus
I've been watching this house and wikis, and I find it very interesting that from all the sheets of papers, sketches and drawings, notes and poetry spread around his bedroom walls, he finally found a place where he can show everybody his works (in orderly manner).
-Christian-
(now i get it how to highlight the name!)
[xm3] is awake now but will be confine for 3 weeks in the hospital.
He misses everybody.
first, the name is Christian. i'm yusukedin's younger brother.
second, he gave authorization to open "all" his accounts and emails, there's a box inside his bedroom written IN CASE OF EMERGENCY CONTACT EVERYBODY.
third, he was talking about a certain Laci. whoever you are he said "sorry if he's not perfect for you".
Jon left our house last night to go to work but didn't make it to his destination. he and a couple of friends (his only real friends), had a terrible car accident and is now in ICU. he'll be confine for a while and we're not sure yet when he will be back.
thanks for all your concern in behalf of our family.
that was beautiful, and starry and, so wild
it was all still clear in her eyes.
and though her mind was foggy and blank
he wondered:
why his life couldn't be as lovely it was time
but his horse was great and wild.
he rode alone and liked it that way
but when he met her he swore:
he would never leave her side.
two lovers hand in hand,
and no danger would come near.
and when something made her cry
she'd look at him teary eyed.
and he would make her feel better.
it was a night time and the right time for love in the dark.
she placed her hand upon her chest
and all the rest just flowed
makin' love down under an ancient far away night.
and now safety came naturally.
it was so clear that she would never have to fear.
and spiralling ships, and the stars in the night.
just whisper in my ears make it soft make it clear
i want to hear every breath you say"
tears falling in his hands
as he looked up asking: "WHY?!"
thoughts rising in his head.
"why can't my life be beautiful?", he said
just praying she'd return
but only darkness fell upon him.
.....