WHY ME?!

Godfather for my cousin's first child. :S

well, she's crazy like me.
ass kicker like me.
rocks like me.
cool like the others.

what can i say?

...

school
sucks!!!

A fatal attraction in ravenous pursuit
With unlimited and boundless goals

Passionately luring to gravely imprison
Trusting and virtuous souls

Seeking gullible, needy and reckless desire
Rebounding oblivious love

Promising to cherish, hold close and take care of
True love, it will surely be void of

Defiled distortions and witting betrayal
Intentions designed for misleading

It seeks not your looks but a beauty within
It’s your soul that it craves for the feeding

It bleeds your life fluids it thrives a slow death
A bloodcurdling sick Valentine

Just before taking your very last breath
A voice softly whispers “Be Mine”

solo che pensavo a quanto è inutile farneticare.
e credere di stare bene quando è inverno e te. 
togli le tue mani calde. 
non mi abbracci e mi ripeti che sono grande, 
mi ricordi che rivivo in tante cose.

case, libri, auto, viaggi, fogli di giornale....
che anche se non valgo niente perlomeno a te.
ti permetto di sognare...
     e se hai voglia di lasciarti camminare. 
scusa, sai, non ti vorrei mai disturbare 
ma vuoi dirmi come questo può finire?

after all the fuck ups and the hassles of the long ride i had to hike for more than a mile. looking for a place where i could avoid rents and just pitch tents near the shore. build fire at night and sand castles at daylight. choose our booze from wine, tequila, beer, or vodka..... even gin and juice. but hey! it would be better to have a mix of everything that there is until we loose our cruise. but knowing that the more we loose our cruise..... and knowing the fact the more fucked up we'd get is the best road that we're all headed. 'cause that's why i'm here. so i asked myself:
"Why are you not here?"
"where you at?"
"where you've been?"
i kissed the sun and held the moon by my hand.

they swam like there was tomorrow and gazed the stars with their shadows as their burrows. we never slept. we got sleepy because we got drunk, and dizzy, and nauseous... and maybe just too spaced out in a state so dreamy. i was then with my friend, MaryJane, and it it would be underrated to say that she just took my pain away. while Captain Kirk along with his crew, and Superman didn't show up just like you. but that's okay. ^.^ i got hit in the brain anyway by a few lightnings while watching the sunset. then i bumped into J while lining up waiting for the concert. so i just asked myself this a lot of times:
"Why are you not here?"
"where you at?"
"where you've been?"
i kissed the sun and held the moon by my hand.

faced the ocean
closed my eyes
stood against the sun

here i'm standing, yes, i'm crying.
oh my god i feel like dying.
i am not a tough guy anymore.

i would never know what i know now
if you didn't break our vow.
and yes, of course, it hurts like hell!

here i'm standing, yes i'm fighting
some things can't be caught in writing.
a new chapter in my book of life.

whatever might. whatever should
have i not done all that i could?
but my best wasn't good enough for you!!!

although you messed me up really bad
and took every bit of pride i had
i wanna thank you for doing that.

although you messed me up. made me mad
took every bit of sense i had
i wanna thank you for doing that.

i hate laptops!!!!
the only time i can talk to someone that will eased me out from all the stress.... the computer will shut down!
when will the hurtings stop?

i don't want you to know
too much about me, oh no.
because i know you'll take advantage of the words that i say.
you're looking for a way to depress me, make me pay.

you don't want me to be,
too close around you 'cause i would see.
all the weak sides that you got, bout which you're trying to hide.
you know that i would nail you if i could nurse my pride.

it's a mindgame we play.
rule the roost, major cliche.
while one of us is fit the other's going insane.
and every time we think the positions will remain.

i know we're thinking the same.
and our opponent's the one to blame.

thinking this way is not something we both longed for.
living this way is something that we never did plan.
but I don't think we will change.
because we're stuck in roles as other's antipoles.

you're on the top when i'm low.
as soon as you're fading i will grow.
i don't like you. you don't like me.
we're lacking energy. yes, we're lacking energy.

so you got me up against the wall
and i'm only waiting for your fall.
i'll get back on top and be carefree.
it's not the end for me, no it's not the end for me.

99 red ballons

first day of vacation:

the last time today i'll use my computer.
going out of town.
i'll try to find tranquility somewhere.
funny, i was very anxious to go home when i was insid ethe hopital but now can stand it being locked inside. i hate living at the last floor of this building.
too many stairsteps!
use the elevator!!!  ever heard of claustrophobia?

.....and so, i'm home, i had a flu, been coughing for three days now.... finally, the sun found its way out of the clouds. YAY! it's sunny outside. maybee, i'll just go out with Spike! and Slimer by the lake shore and "meditate" to look for some peace and relaxation. call my boss this morning. he said i can take my vacation that i miss due to my stay in the hospital. so tomorrow, i'll leave for a week vacation at Liguria Region. i might stay either in Livorno or Genoa. i'm not sure yet.

i just need to be alone for a while.

home at last! actually, i arrived last wednesday but there was a thunderstorms that lasted 'til friday. caught a flu and... guess what?! in bed again for two days with 38.5°C to 39°C of fever!!! i was blabbering all the time (according to my bro). it always happens when i'm ill.
i just dropped by to look for news and mails but my head was turning and, literally, don't understand a thing of what i'm doing.
the storm was over and it's hot again (it's supposed to be autumn already) but i was frezzing. never been that bad since i was 13 years old..... decades ago!
now, i feel better... uhm... mostly. aside from the car accident remembrance, the sore throat due to excessive coughing(i can immitate The Godfather's voice! ^_^), and slight cold, the rest is going so-so.

i'll take my vacation on Monday. let's hope for a good weather this week. maybe i'll be out of town. but this time, i'll gonna take the train to go there. my "BEAST" is a total wreck and can be repaired but will cost like a brand new one... so *sigh* i'm looking forward for another 206.

and.....
Slimer kicks ass! Spike! cannot stand a chance when their playing. the Sunshine, the kitten loves playing with Spike!'s tail. i must capture them in video next time. and Buster, the cottontail dwarf rabbit, is the same lemme-eat-and-leave-me-alone mood. he's kinda boring for a pet anyway. he's just cute.

in a world where everybody hates
a happy ending story.
it's a wonder love can make the world go round.
but don't let it bring you down
and turn your face into a frown
you'll get along with a little hope and a song...

make the best of your circumstances.
no one has everything, and everyone has something of sorrow
intermingled with gladness of life.
the trick is to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
you can't please everybody. don't let criticism
worry you.

been talking to my old schoolmate, [Devilock], lately since my bro is very busy with his affairs (vacation).
it was like the old days, we never talked that much. actually, we never talked back then.
we talked about her exes, her old fiends and friends, her folks. mostly, her's.
i rarely open myself up. it gives me heartaches :)
i wish i have a heart disease at least i already know what's the cause of those heartaches. LOL

....and i saw my reflection in a snow covered hill
'til a landslide brought it down... Fleetwood Mac

finally, the body "armor" has been removed but i still have to wear this things. DAMN! can' stand it anymore. can't wait to go home.

on Sunday, there's going to be a free Korn-Rasmus-Linea 77-concert and i'm going to miss it! what the heck. it's not the end of the world yet. maybe, one day *fingers crossed* they'll be the one who's going to watch us performing! HAHA! day dreaming again

i guess being faithful is not good if a person doesn't believe you.
but i'll keep on hoping.
at least i can console myself.
yeah right!!
hoping!
hoping is like fooling oneself.
so, i'll just keep on fooling myself then!!!

alone

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

CROSSFADE- Cold

good thing the doctor say that i can use the computer if there's nothing to do at the hospital's reception.
they caught me yesterday while using the internet. but they didn't say a thing. i just said: "i'm just reading [get-well-soon cards]!" lol