Actions speak louder than words will ever. So I will show you my sincerity in the shape of my still beating heart. Stare into my eyes. Rake your nails across my skin. I know the reason embers of you scatter as you breathe. I take the shame to heart and lock it away in a place that sees not the light of day.
"Do you think it hurts much to die?"
"It's hurting so much more to stay alive now."

I am still in love, but the one I am in love with no longer feels the way he used to. He states that he is not suitable a=for me and that I deserve more than he can offer. And that he wants to be the one I crave for in life but he, unfortunatley, can not see himself as such. He doesn;t think he can give me my white picket fence and kids ideal that I want.
Tim and I are no longer together, in the terms of boyfriend and girlfriend.
I leave you with this.
Good night.

Rawr!!
Time for a confession...

 I am addicted to World of Warcraft 

Well well friends..
And you know who I'm talking to.
I know Ive been absent a lot in this new year.
Thing have come up in school and work.
New promotions and new semesters.
Its crazy!!
One of the main roadblocks, as of late, would be my best friend.
We've been friends for 5 years now..
And on Tuesday, She found out she was pregnant.
She is 18 and still living at home.
Her parents didn't take it well, but his parents did.
But good news, her parents finally cooled down a little and are letting her stay, for the most part.
Ill try to be on more, and I know that my RP's are quite still atm.
But that will change!!! Hopefully...
Well.. All the love to every one of you guys.

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you.

1) Damn the people who made me do this.

2) My computer is fucking awesome!!

3) I miss falling downwards, it was such a nice comfy time.

4) Dachelle shouldn't have moved.

5) I wish I could fall over.

6) My tattoo is itching...

7) Die bitches

8) I Want a family

9) I need a drink...

10) I need to go play some Lazer Tag. I wanna shoot the shit outta people and burn holes in their clothes.

11) THat would be fun.. I think Im gonna go do it.

12) I feel pretty.

13) Misses Tim. And I think i need to run around.

14) I want my cat alive again.

15) I want a vitamin water. Well, I want some Vodka.

16) I still misses dachelle. I want her back in Florida!!!

Soo I'll be tagging..

ALL OF YOUS

Apparently AFK has become a rather habit for me.
And yet again, I truly cannot explain it.
I do not know why, but I just can't seem to find my way on to a computer more than a couple times a week.
Me and Tim are happy as can be.
My new fling seems to be more than just a fling.
It it turning into more than I ever expected.
It has been one month and I am damn glad it has lasted this long.
I have decided I want to be a teacher, not a Radiology Technician.
Screw what my mom wants me to be. I think that if I am going to put myself thru this hell it better be something I want.
And since I am not allowed to be a Graphic Designer, I will be a Teacher. :)
Well, I bid thee all Adieu.
-bows- Erin

I, friends, am in love!
Ever since Stephen took it upon himself to fuck my life totally over, and bring my mom into the situation, I basically told him to fuck off and leave me alone.
He finally listened.
No more brooding Ex-Boyfriend to hinder my social life, no more worries over whther or not Stephen was going to come down and screw me over again.
Tim.
One word.
Means more to me now then any one else's name EVER has.
I find peace when I am with Him at school. Everyone else can be talking and He can look at me, and I tune everything else out, except for Him.
We have so many connections, through High School. We went to the same one.
My Grandfather is a Boy Scout Troop Leader, Tim is the head of The Boy Scout Seminole Lodge.
My Grandfather went through a ceremony called "Brotherhood" and is now One rank under National Troop Leader here in the United States. Tim completed his ceremony.
It is absolutely crazy. Yet, We can't figure out why we have never met before now.
4 years We went to the same school together, in the same clubs, yet never knew.
18 damned years of being a Boy Scout Brat and I never knew.
He is the nicest, most kind person I have ever felt these feelings for in my life.
No one has yet to treat me the way he does.
Ever.
I find that I feel completely comfortable with him even though it has not been too long that We started dating.
He is fine with who I am, and is not trying to only bed me.
Not trying to change me in any way.
He wants My love.
My Life.
Just me.
It's absolutely wonderful.
I am Ecstatic! I haven't felt this way in a long time.
-sighs- A big load off of my back. I feel light as a feather.
Had to, just had to make that announcement.

As for my absence?
No reason, just everytime I looked at my computer or even touched a keyboard it felt wrong. Like I wasn't supposed to be on one.
But I can not explain it if I do not even know why.

Have a well night, all of you.
I will be on a lot, as usual. No more AFK for me.
Oh, AFK means away from keyboard.

Love you all!
Erin. xxx

The Raven.

Is Edgar Allen Poe's main character Crazy? Or is he simply

greiving the loss of his Love, Lenore?





     The Raven, as we know, is written by one of the most

influential writers of our time, Edgar Allen Poe. When Poe

wrote this poem, many believe he was just trying to show one

mans lost love. to show how he was saddened by her demise

and to show how he feels about her being gone. However,

when many people read this poem, they sense a bit of crazy,

or mental illness issues with the narrator, which is someone

other than Poe himself. Poe is writing as a man who has lost a

love, but also a man who is just a tad crazy. Someone who

will believe anything someone says, even a bird who rests

upon Pallas.


               "Open here I flung the shutter, when,

with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or

stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber

door-

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door-

Perched, and sat, and nothing more."
               
               "The Raven"


Some would specualte that this is to show the bird as a figure 

of wisdom, as one who would bring good news. I believe

different.



Is he crazy? This question has been asked by quite a few.

He is slowly falling asleep. When he falls asleep, he can

remember the way Lenore acts, the way she feels and

everything about her that he likes. He either dreams or

hallucinates a bird. Obvious Schitzophrenia. Hallucinations are

defined as sensory perceptions in the absence of externally

generated stimuli. (1) The knocking or Rapping on the

characters door could actually be the pounding of a migrane

from his depression or from being woke up.



The representation of the raven in this poem could possibly

mean death, because the bird repeats nevermore over and

over again. depression is caused by the fact that he realizes,

Death is Inevitable. He should just wait for it to come or

basically wallow in self pity. This man yearns for his dead

love, wishing she were back and with him. He allows himself

to see the bird then watch it manifest into something

otherwordly, finally bringing the news of the fact that they will

never be reuinted, not even in the after life.



The Raven quotes "Nevermore" over and over again. He

views this bird as an instrument to help him forget.

Either, the bird will form to lenore and tell him that she

doesn't like him anymore, and it was never anything special,

or that he will be in her presence and understanding theway

he truly feels.



Nepenthe is a drug used a long time ago to supposedly

lessen the effects of Greif. He is apparently on medication.

Nepenthe is a drug, as i said, and it is pretty much like Xanex

or Alcohol.

               "Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"

Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.' "

               "The Raven"



Is he Grieving?

The fire Is representative of the love he felt for Lenore. The

fire is a comforting element to some. Especially in "Bleak

December"as this is supposedly the coldest time of the year,

and the worst time for someone to grieve. The cold inhibits

itand intensifies his feelings. Making the cold feelings even

colder and making him feel empty and vast and lonely.

Seeing the Raven come, gives him a sort of closure. It may be

kind of messed up closure, and a sense of rather broad

closure, but he will feel better, knowing that his lost love and

him will never be reunited. This sort of twisted closure is

acquired by the fleeting feeling of sense of self. He is coming

to grips with the way The Raven will bring him help. He

desperately longs for company, the greif of his loss is too

much.

               "Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.

"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore-

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"

Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore.' "
               
               "The Raven"



In the end, we watch as he slowly sinks away and lets his

depression engulf him. His Chair becomes his friend as the

Raven leaves with his heart and sould, leaving his body

behind, taking with him the very part of the character that

makes him live.

1. http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro01/web3/Cohen.html

http://www.eliteskills.com/c/3698

http://www.poedecoder.com/essays/raven/

http://www.pdnonline.com/pdn/newswire/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002383134
Well then..
Ill say, fuck the congress.
Its wrong.
http://www.petitiononline.com/dAvsOW/petition.html
Sign this petition if you think they should keep copyrights on our photos!

I'm a total nerd ^_^ stoleedddd frommm [Scary Kids Scaring Kayla;]



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. YOUR REAL NAME:
Erin

2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first three letters of your name plus izzle)
Eriizzle

3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav. color & fav. animal)
Green rat

4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name & current street)
Marie Tilsen

5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name & first 3 letters of dad's name)
Teperdwa

6. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color & favorite drink)
Silver Sprite

7. IRAQI NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name & last letter of your moms middle name)
Rpie(idk)(no siblings)n

8. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name)
Ann... (Ewwwness)

9. GOTH NAME: (3rd favorite color, and the name of one your pets)
Black Loki

I guess while I'm here..
My day has been going wonderfully.. I woke up, tired as hell but I guess it's all worked out.. I'm in the library right now, and i can honestly say, it smells like cat pee.. It really does..
And I'm really bored.. doing a research paper. It's on Charles Dickens, but i can't quite figure out how to pose an argument about him..
Maybe someone could help me?
Please?
Lol no, you don't have to do it..
It will bore you even more..
I know I'm bored as all hell right now.
I'll be off to lunch soon, but im not wuite looking forward to it..
It involve s painting someone's final art project, and so they can pass the class, they asked me to do it for them.
OH!!! And the books by Stephani Meyer, "Twilight" "New Moon" and "Eclipse" They are all gooood books.. I cant wait for the Fourth book to come out in September.. and the movie... it comes out in December...
I don't remember, the website, though, is
http://www.twilightlexiconblog.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOGggfIMFwQ
:) :) :) :)