THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOO FUCKIN HALARIOUS!!!!!
Parents are justly concerned that their children are being led into danger by the GOTH subculture. How can you tell if your child is a GOTH? Look for these warning signs.
Wears black clothing.
Has piercings or tattoos.
Wears a pentagram or an ankh (an ancient Egyptian symbol used in Satanic Ba’al-worshipp
Wears rock T-shirts.
Listens to GOTH bands such as Marilyn Manson, or to other antisocial music.
"Hangs out" with new friends.
Demands an unusual amount of privacy.
Shows diminished interest in wholesome activities such as church, prayer, and sports.
Takes drugs.
Kills people for fun.
Stays up late at night and/or drinks blood.
Watches cable.
Complains of headaches, boredom, nausea, stabbing pains or thirst.
Is secretive.
Spends large amounts of time alone.
Spends large amounts of time with people you don’t know.
Misbehaves in school.
"Forgets" to do chores, possibly because of drug or alcohol abuse.
Hears music when the only sound is noise, possibly because of drug or alcohol abuse.
Uses a computer or the Internet.
Plays video games or role-playing games.
Reads science fiction or fantasy books.
Writes angry entries in a secret diary (you can usually find the diary easily if you search your child’s room).
Has paranoid fantasies (many GOTHS accuse their parents of spying on them).
Pursues dangerous cult religions such as WICCA, SATANISM, HINDUISM and BUDDHISM.
Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.
Uses the blood of Christian babies to inscribe pentagrams or other symbols on churches and schools.
Sleeps too much or too little.
Eats too much or too little.
Looks at pornography or otherwise shows interest in sex.
Is a homosexual, bisexual, or "pansexual."
Smokes clove cigarettes.
Leaves syringes or other drug paraphernalia around the house.
Eats GOTH-related foods such as Count Chocula breakfast cereal.
Mocks authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors or Jesus.
Says, "I am a GOTH."
Wears a pin that says, "I am a GOTH."
Talks about going to GOTH clubs or parties.
Asks for locks of hair from casual acquaintances.
Owns more than one cast-iron cauldron.
Dances to music.
Behaves in any unusual or alarming way.