I need a hug, but there's no one here I can hug right now. My eyes are still burning from crying. It hasn't been a good night.
Lewis and I had a huge fight, not a lot of yelling, no hitting, but really hurtful.
I was dealing with a discipline problem with the kids, he came in and tried to do things totally differently, including punishing the wrong kid. When I protested, he said I was trying to keep him from being a parent, going against him every time he tries, treating him like a retard.
It was as much the way he looked and moved as what he said. It really hurt, and it upset the boys. Tommy had already been crying because I'd yelled at Robby, and Lewis was pretty much punishing Tommy for that, as far as Tommy saw it.
I tried to go talk to Lewis in the livingroom. First he ignored me, then he laughed at me. When he tried to walk away, I tried to block his path and get him to listen, and he got really angry and left the house by the other door. Just to the yard, but...
I started crying, and couldn't stop. After a while, I heard him go by me to the kids' room, but I couldn't stop crying. When he came back, he said I needed to go put the kids toi bed. I was still crying. The tone he used was awful.
I finally stopped crying, and saw the clock, and it was 8:50. Then I was confused, because the kids go to bed at 9, so it wasn't like they were up late or anything. He was on the porch, and I went to talk to him. He said he had just decided they needed to be in bed then, he knew what time it was.
He went on for a while about the kids' cleanup routine hasn't been working ever since we moved here, which is true, and is what the original discipline problem was about. I told him that was true, but he couldn't just sweep in and change the rules without notice to anyone, especially when I was already handling it.
I think we made a tiny bit of progress in the few minutes after that, but I feel so numb and empty, and ready to start crying again.
He did say he loves me before he went up to bed, and that we'll talk tomorrow. I just really need to cry, about a lot more than what happened tonight, and I can't.
Ticket #444615 is currently in place 1609 out of 1973
I added several new illuminations to my private gallery this weekend, too. :)
YAY!!!
I have new pictures at Elfwood!
Now I get to start watching the queue for the three I uploaded today. They were in the last batch, but the files were corrupted, or something, so it looked like they had borders that weren't there. I think I fixed the problems, though.
Hmmm... I wonder if anyone will post comments there?
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 540 out of 1947
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 560 out of 1870
Hey, we're making progress!
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 641 out of 1772 That's about 320 since yesterday.
My new dragons should show up at Elfwood soon!
Things are busy. We're still getting settled in here.
We spent last evening putting up wood on the wall in an upstairs room, where the plaster was patched really badly, and putting down self-sticking floor tiles in the same room.
We planted day lilies in the corner of one of the front flower beds, to get rid of some of the icky red cedar mulch. We worked on clearing a bunch of brush that was pretty, but was choking the row of rose bushes along our front fence. We have a lot to do in the yard, since the former tenants here knew nothing about gardening, and let things run wild for the most part. The kids were pulling weeds in the empty flower beds, so we can get those cleaned out and plant some actual flowers.
We got a dog yesterday. Roxie. http://dkpalme
She's a rotweiler/shep
This afternoon is parent orientation at Tommy's school. I'm nervous. It's his first year, and I'm not certain what to expect.
Just checking up on my Elfwood ticket....
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 960 out of 1922
Somehow, waiting for the Elfwood queue was easier when I was offline most of the time.
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 1028 out of 1852
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 1227 out of 1833
And over at Elfwood....
Ticket #441447 is currently in place 1353 out of 1764
Getting there.
Some entries from the last week or two, cross-posted from elsewhere:
Lewis's daughter born, died. (16 views)
From: Debbie (DKPALMER) Aug-11 3:21pm
It's been a long, awful week.
Friday, Lewis's friend, Brett, had a baby girl. She had a lot of serious problems, and was airlifted to a hospital in another state. Lewis went down to be with the baby. The doctors did everything they could, including heart bypass surgery, but she died just after midnight on Sunday.
The funeral was yesterday. Tommy and Robby knew they had a baby sister, and that she was very sick. Telling them she died was hard. They took flowers to the church for her, and said goodbye.
I have a lot of issues connected with this, but for now, I'm just hanging in there for everyone else.
Lia Rachel Palmer
4 pounds, 2 ounces
August 5, 2005 - August 7, 2005
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Daniel in a nutshell (15 views)
From: Debbie (DKPALMER) Jul-13 6:17pm
I promised to post about Daniel, but haven't had time to write it properly, so here's the short form.
Daniel's been living with us, but rarely home. His boyfriend came by a few weeks ago to be sure we were aware of their relationship. A day or two later, Daniel brought his girlfriend over for the same purpose.
A few days after that, Daniel borrowed a friend's pickup, with permission. When Daniel didn't return the truck after four days, his friend decided he no longer had permission to use it, and reported it stolen. He named Daniel as having stolen it.
Daniel showed up a few days after the warrant was issued (last Wednesday), when the truck ran out of gas, and Lewis took Daniel to turn himself in. Daniel was released on his own responsibility
The owner of the truck has been by the house several times, looking for Daniel. Apparently, he's not happy about Daniel's relationship with the boyfriend. Also, he made the mistake of lending Daniel a fair amount of money, and giving him a cell phone.
Happily, all the drama is all about Daniel for a change. I get to just watch this one. I kind of like that.
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We moved. (17 views)
From: Debbie (DKPALMER) Aug-11 3:12pm
Yes, again.
We hadn't planned to move, but we needed more space all of a sudden (more on that in a minute), and this was a terrific opportunity. We're about 10 miles closer to town, on a quieter road, with a HUGE, fenced yard. We have almost double the number of rooms, including a room just for my computer (once my desk gets here and I move it out of my room).
We're still moving things in, but we're actually living in the new house now. We really love it.
The house is an old farm house, with an upstairs. The layout is odd, with no halls, but it's nothing to bother us.
Okay, about the need for more space. Lewis's sister, Emma, and her son have come to live with us. Emma got married at the end of June. Her husband left for basic training the next morning. Since she's still a minor, she can't get base housing, so she needed a place to be. So far, it's going okay. She's a little immature, but she's only 16. She's trying to learn to be a good mom, I think. Anyway, we couldn't just have her on the couch for months on end, so we got a place with room for her and the baby to stay.
Although I hate moving, I think this is a good move for us.
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Evangelism at infant's funeral (19 views)
From: Debbie (DKPALMER) Aug-11 3:56pm
I really want to hurt the minister who officiated at the funeral last night.
The idiot decided that a funeral for a two day old baby was the best possible time to convert her Pagan parents to Christianity. (The funeral was mostly for the benefit of her grandparents.)
He said first that the baby had to die because of the sin of Adam and Eve, and that there was nothing anyone could do to change that.
Then he said she died to bring her parents closer to Jesus. He said she was the lamb God set on the far side of the river to lead the lost sheep home. He even had the gall to say her parents should feel BLESSED because she died and went to be with Jesus, and that they should mend their ways so they can be with her in eternity.
This is the first time I have EVER wanted to interrupt a minister. It was all I could do to keep my seat. If I hadn't thought it would make a bad situation worse, I'd have told the SOB off right there!
After the funeral, he made sure to tell the mother that he had been trying to convert her and her boyfriend, and was pleased to welcome them to his church now!
I feel sick to my stomach every time I think of it!
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New house pics, kid pics (1 views)
From: Debbie (DKPALMER) 3:59pm
I just put this together quickly, to share the pics we took today. The insidse of the house won't be ready for a camera for a good while, but here's the outside. There are 95 pics in all, up to 20 per page. The end of it sort of became the Tristan Show, so his dad can get some pictures, but I included them anyway.
Enjoy!
Oh, and if anyone can ID any of the flowers, please let me know.
http://dkpalme
1975
Ticket #416699 is currently in place 1984 out of 2124
Yes, I'm both bored and impatient. 150 places since breakfast is pretty cool, though.
Ticket #416699 is currently in place 2087 out of 2182
Moving along nicely. :)
The packing for the real life move is going along nicely, too.
2134 out of 2204
Not a bad start, for only 11 hours in the queue. :)
As soon as I'm fully awake, I need to get back to working on packing. I'm at that stage where it's hard to figure out what goes in each box. All the logical stuff is already packed, except the kids' toys, which will be done at the end of today.
Yay! My ticket was published! I just this minute uploaded a new ticket, with five dragons, so the waiting begins again.
Ticket #416699 is currently in place 2224 out of 2224
Ticket #414229 is currently in place 1073 out of 2337
Now I have even more reason to want this ticket cleared through moderation. As soon as I make a few easy changes to my gallery, which requires a new ticket, I can be added as a mod. I'm looking forward to that!
1133 out of 2379
I like that it's moving about 100 tickets every time I look. I may even be moved and back online in time to submit a new ticket when this one is published. :)
My birthday has gotten better. Lewis and Brett got birthday presents for me from the kids, and she helped the kids wrap them. I got two boxes of Whoppers candy and a set of 72 colored pencils. They also picked up two Little Caesar's pizzas, and a birthday cake with purple roses. We haven't cut the cake yet. My parents sang happy birthday to me on the phone, and said they mailed my card and a gift card this morning. It's still a rainy, drizzly day, but I feel better.
1240
They're going fast this week.