I feel like crap. I can't breathe. My fever broke, but now it's back. It seems I only stop sneezing long enough to blow my nose. I keep going, because I pretty much have to, but I just want to crawl into bed for a few days.
I have to go paint the window tomorrow. I pretty much have no choice now. It has to be done before we open on Saturday, so that means tomorrow is it. I don't want to go down there. I just want to be in my room. But, I have to go down in the morning, come back at noon, and go back after lunch. With the kids.
I finished an acrylic version of "The Artist." The colors don't quite match the colored pencil original, but I like him. I'm almost in love with the unicorn I'm painting. The main design is a tracing of the unicorn I made for Robby, but the similarity ends there. I'll post it in the Owns1 gallery when I finish. I love the colors.
Hey, Blue Bunny Birthday Cake ice cream is neat! It really tastes like birthday cake!
So, what's wrong tonight?
Besides being sick with a fever?
Well, Lewis went off on me about what a bad, neglectful mom I am tonight. Because one of the boys missed the toilet and I didn't know about it to clean it up before he got home. I'm trying to take care of the house and kids, and start this store that we're opening this weekend. And run errands. And deal with Daniel being in jail, tracking down lawyers, etc. He threatened to take my phone connection for the internet away because the line was busy when he called this afternoon. He didn't believe that I was offline then. My step-mother called, and I was talking to her while folding six loads of laundry. He'd said to have the phone open 6:30-8. He'd said nothing about 4. And I wasn't neglecting the kids, I was making the three signs he needed for the store. Had to have them done before he got home. I finished making supper in tears.
I can't breathe, both head and chest, and I'm running a fever. That hasn't helped.
Working 30 hours a week plus at the store or for the store, and taking care of the hose and kids single-handed so he can work at the store and his regular job, and nothing is good enough. 30 hours is 5 hours a day M-Sat. Minimum. Oh, and homeschooling.
He's at the store now. I know he's working a lot, too.
Wish I could rest and get better. We open Saturday, and I have tomorrow to finish painting the window logo.
He was mad that Tommy had ravioli for lunch. Well, HE bought groceries last month. HE bought the ravioli. It's not like the kid didn't have more interesting choices to eat. He wanted the canned stuff. Apparently a can of pasta isn't a good enough lunch. I tried to give him a ham/cheese/let
He about lost it when Robby told him the boys got the clothes off the line for me. I didn't tell them to. They asked if they could help. 4 and 5 is big enough to help. He says they're too little.
So, I'm in a crappy mood.
I need some concrete, useful advice/info. I'm really not interested in comments about added drama in my life, etc., so if that's what's available, just skip this.
Daniel's in jail. He was caught shoplifting at Walmart. That would be bad enough, but he gave a false name to the police, and had no ID on him.
The catch here is that he truly does not understand why he's in jail. He doesn't understand why he couldn't take those pants. He has no idea why the police had a problem with him giving a false name.
If he knew it was wrong, even just had a clue, I'd let him sit there, and not worry about it. He's been denied bail because of the identity issue, so he'll be there at least three days, according to the magistrate. However, he doesn't understand.
Daniel has a history of mental illness. Specifically, he has a variety of schitzophrenia whose proper name escapes me at the moment. The psychiatrist three years ago referred to it as "magical thinking," whereby Daniel's mind conceives of things, then believes his version of reality is real. Rules of society mean little or nothing to him, because he doesn't realize, deep down, that they apply to him.
I've been trying to get Lewis to have Daniel declared mentally incompetent since we got that diagnosis. Until today, Lewis has been offended by the suggestion, and has resisted the idea. Tonight, he asked me to find out what we need to do to start the process.
That's where my need for advice/info comes in. Does anyone - Maggie? - know how to get an adult declared mentally incompetent in the US?
Daniel should be out of jail in a few days. It's a first offense, so I see him getting probation, and maybe community service. I'm not actually that upset about it, but we need to address the deeper problem. Putting him out on the street would be convenient for us, but wouldn't do him, or society, any good. Getting him into a supervised living situation would do all of us good, and could be a permanent solution. First, we need to make it so he can be forced into such a situation, and can't just sign himself out again.
Brett's going to call the public defender tomorrow, to see if Daniel can get some representation
7:55 pm I'm tired. It's been a long day. The kitchen is clean, the kids are fed, two loads of laundry are hanging on the clothesline. The animals are all fed.
I've modded over 30 Elfwood tickets today.
I have a painting drying on my desk. It still needs a starlight topcoat to make the outer space background twinkle. I'm thinking of doing the companion piece in metals instead of colors, just for interest.
My back hurts. I'd love to go to bed, but the kids are still up, and I need to do more painting after they get to bed.
I have the first little bit of "Donny's Story" written. We'll see if I get the time to actually reach 50,000 words by the end of the month. As I was hanging the wash, I was thinking I should just make a transcript of Robby's chatter every day this month and call it a stream of consciousness novel.
I really should go fold the four loads of laundry I have in my room. Maybe tomorrow, when it becomes six loads. *sigh*
I >>>>>MUST<<<<< get to the store tomorrow to finish the window. We open Saturday, and that logo has to be done.
Ugh. I just checked the word count on "Donny's Story." A whole 695 words.
1:27 pm The kids had fun at the library. It was Color Day, so they got to paint as the art project. I really want to find and buy a couple of the cool painting smocks Denna had at the library! I'll have to see if Patty can order anything like them through her work. The liquid water paints were really cool, too! I wonder if Patty can get those? THe bottles looked like the kind a school supply catalog would carry. (Which reminds me that I need to ask Patty to order me at least two pairs of lefty scissors, too.)
The kids were really excited by the "magic" Denna did with bottles of water and food colors. She started with two bottles of red water, two of yellow, and two of blue. Then she added drops of color to each bottle so she ended up with two purples, two oranges, and two greens. The kids loved it! (It reminds me that we need to color Queen Anne's Lace next summer.)
I've already been busy since we got home. I fixed lunch, ate my lunch, fed the dogs the stuff we cleared out of the fridge, started a load of laundry, and brought in the dry laundry. We're having deli-style sandwiches for supper, so I just need to wash the dishes and wipe down the kitchen in a couple of hours.
I think Sandy missed me. He's draped across my back, just purring and snuggling. He's such a good, lovey cat.
Current Mood: lethargic
9:19 am I had the weirdest dream last night. I can identify where most of the pieces of it came from, but it was still weird.
There were lots of swords. We were at a martial arts tournament part of the time, and on the way to one the rest of the time. At one point, we were trying to sort who would ride in which car. I said to my friend, Kathan, who was in the dream "I have to ride with John, his wife, his ex-girlfriend, and his wife's ex-boyfriend." I wasn't happy. Kathan was riding with her husband, her son, and for some reason, my husband and his girlfriend.
At the tournament, we were setting up what we needed to do, and that involved putting a bunch of stuff in the computer. We were putting in sort of an inventory of swords and shields. Kathan was telling me to hurry up and get the last one in, when the computer went down. She got the power back on, and told me to hurry and get the last one into the computer before the computer started doing something on its own. I was typing feverishly, trying to get it done.
Then, there was a class, and everyone was in white gis with white belts. Everyone was using swords (mostly Oriental, but a couple of foils and a couple of larger Western swords), except a couple who had bos or huge shields. There seemed to be no order to the class.
Then we were trying to eat, but I kept getting queasy from the smell of the food. It was good food, though I can't remember what it was, but it was just making me sick.
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Okay, I'm off to take the kids to the library.
Current Mood: cheerful
10:52 pm I'm exhausted. I stopped avoiding the dishes, finally. In fact, I brought the laundry in from the clothesline, started another load of laundry, cleaned out the cat box, washed three days' worth of dishes (UGH!), hung the laundry out on the line, got Tommy to pick up his mess in the livingroom, got Robby down for a nap, and coaxed Daniel into vacuuming (yes, that's work in and of itself!). I got about 15 minutes of typing in (I'm doing NaNoWriMo), before Lewis got home with groceries. I put those away, grabbed another ten minutes to type, then helped cook supper.
We got a shipment of swords and daggers and stuff for our store today. 17 bright, shiny, SHARP objects, all fantasy-themed
I should be painting right now. I really should. The dragons won't paint themselves. I have two unicorns to paint, too. I'm tired and sore, though, so here I sit.
Current Mood: exhausted
The kids had a blast last night! Ginger brought Cheyenne over, and we took the kids out in two cars. We picked up Kandy and Ally, and got started with the trick-or-treat
Earlier in the day, the boys and I spent four hours down at the store. I got maybe 90% of the window painting done. The kids were pretty wired, and didn't handle being there as well as they usually do.
When I got home from the store, I couldn't get online. I could connect, but not access anything. I called Nathan, who had me run a virus scan. We left it running while we took the kids out. When we got back, we cleaned the one virus it found, and let it finish running. Then we tried to connect. No luck. So, I went in and found and uninstalled a bunch of junk (thanks Daniel! :/ ), and ran defrag. At 2 AM, it was still at 42% of the first drive, so I told Daniel (yeah, I know) how to make it scan the second drive when that one finished. I told him if it gave him any message except that it was done, to come get me up. Then I went to bed.
In the meantime, I got the boys' treats sorted, and got them to bed. Once they were in bed, I painted two pictures based on "Blueberry," with dragons emerging from eggs. I did them in green, instead of blue, just because I felt like it. I also finished the open/closed sign for the store, which has an egg on the closed side and that same hatchling dragon on the open side. I'll scan those in a bit. I did scan the three "Here Be Dragons" pictures, and added them to my gallery at http://joiya.o
When I got up this morning, the defrag was done, but the computer still couldn't get online. I ran AdAware, and came up with 95 adwares on the first drive, and 24 on the second. Yay. So, I cleaned those. I had to go to an appointment in town then, so I left the computer.
When I got home, Lewis had the computer fixed. He had to restore a bunch of defaults for Windows and MSIE to do it. Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, because I was so tired. Anyway, obviously enough, the computer is working now.
I'm now putting off doing dishes, which I neglected yesterday. I have to go face them soon. Today is also the beginning of NaNoWriMo, which I'm going to attempt again. We'll see how much writing I get done this year.
It's been a really good day.
This being All Saints Sunday, we had a special service during church for all our family members who have died in the past year. I had asked Cindy to be sure she had Lia on the list. She was listed as "Leah," but she was there. The boys went up with me when Lia's name was called, to light a candle on the altar. Tommy actually helped hold the taper we used to light her votive. Robby's not quite old enough to handle a lit candle. The candles were to help the departed make the transition to the next life. It's a neat custom, which appeals to me on several levels, as its roots are decidedly Pagan.
After church, there was a potluck lunch. That was nice. I enjoy the chance to spend time with my friends there. In particular, I like hanging out with Marsha, who seems to have a lot in common with me. She also has two boys, and is used to money being pretty tight. Most of the other moms are considerably better off financially, and it's sometimes hard to relate to them as much. As soon as their food was gone, the boys were outside to play football with the older boys. They really love playing with the big kids, and the big ones are really good about playing in a way that lets the litle ones play, too. Some of the dads were also out there playing ball. We had an absolutely beautiful day, with a cloudless, blue sky. It was perfect weather for them to play like that.
We got home about 3. I painted the first side of our open/closed sign, then attacked the kids' bedroom. By 9, I had half the room sorted the way I like it. I need to work on the other half Tuesday, since tomorrow will be taken up with working and trick-or-treat
After the kids were in bed, Lewis and I worked more on our newest model building. We're now working on the village church. It will be about 2 feet tall, 20 inches wide +/-, and somewhere over 2 feet long. We're building the walls out of old styrofoam ceiling panels, which are turning out to work like a dream. We cut out the basic wall pieces last night, and added the windows, doors, and interior arches tonight. In-progress photos are at http://www.geo
The plan for tomorrow is to get to the store between 10 and 11, and work on the window logo until maybe 3. Ginger and Kandy are bringing the girls to the house about 4:30, so we can take all the kids trick-or-treat
The time change has me messed up. This is the one Sunday when I can sleep until 9, because church is at 11 instead of 9:30, and I'm up at 8. It figures. At least it means I can get some things done without rushing, like heating and thickening the stew that Lewis made for me to take to the potluck after church.
Robby had a horrible nosebleed about 2 AM (pre-clock change). Thank God he woke up with it. It took a good while to get it stopped. Lewis put him in my bed when it was over, because he was pretty upset. That worked fine in the beginning. I got off here and went to bed, too. Sandy (cat) decided to curl up under the covers between us. He would have been fine there, but Robby kept wanting to hug the cat, so the cat eventually scratched (randomly getting me), and found somewhere else to sleep.
I woke up between both kids. Tommy was fine, as he sleeps deeply and hardly moves once he finds a spot. Robby, on the other hand, was moving so much that I woke up with a nasty headache. That figures, too.
I had really wild dreams, that I barely remember now, that kept me from getting a whole lot of rest. I know our dining room table was there, but it looked more like the bedroom the kids had over on Castleton Road. Very strange. There were a lot of people, too, including the kids.
The stew is boiling over, and the kids want food before church. I guess the day begins.
I finally got the sign done! Whew! That was a job. I kept getting jabbed by the dragons' talons when I tried to work on their bodies.
I've finished three more pieces to sell as framed art at the store. I need to pick up more frames.
I started work on our open/closed sign. I have it all drawn out on two sides of a board the size of a sheet of paper. I guess I'll paint it tomorrow.
Lewis and I started work on the construction os a church for our model village. We're building it out of foam ceiling panels, to get the stone effect. The central belfry will be just over two feet tall! It's going to take a lot of work, but it looks like it'll be worth it, based on what we have so far.
Tommy has been drawing copies of the store sign. His dragons are really recognizable! I'm pretty impressed. He drew a copy of Lewis's COA, too. That was also recognizable. I'm encouraging him, so he'll keep drawing. I think he'll be really great as he gets older.
We have a potluck lunch at church tomorrow. The kids are looking forward to it. They're always asking when we can eat at church again. I'm looking forward to the social time, too.
Lewis got the display cases in the store today. I haven't been down there since they started putting in the shelves and cases, since I was working on the sign here. I need to go down on Monday and get to work on the window logo.
Current Mood: artistic
The sign is almost done, finally. I spent almost all day working on it. I got both wings and both bellies painted. When did I start painting the thing? I think it was Monday evening. Yes, I started painting the scales Monday. Today was Friday, and I did skip one day in there. Working at least 4-6 hours a day, this thing has taken some work. I had to do each scale individually, so I could get the blended effect I wanted with the two shades of green. The head and non-scaly parts of the legs are a third gree. The wings are ribbed with orange edged and blended with green, with membranes that blend from orange at the ribbing to yellow at the edges. The belly ridges are orage at the outside and blend to yellow against the body. All in all, I'm pretty happy. Oh, and the spines blend from gray to green. Those had to be done individually, too. I have some detail work to do tomorrow, and Brett and Lewis have been doing the shield between the two dragons, so it's almost done.
I forgot to include this before:
Last night, at the college, Robby pointed to a costumed worker and said "Mommy, she's a witch. I'm scared of witches. They're mean."
So I told him Grandma Beth and Aunt Brett are witches, and they aren't mean. He agreed with that. Then he said "But Mommy, that witch is green and ugly. Witches are ugly."
So I asked him if Grandma Beth and Aunt Brett are ugly, and he agreed that they aren't.
He thought a minute, then his whole face lit up, and he said "Mommy, witches are NICE!"
All of this was in front of probably a dozen moms and nearly twice that many kids, all of whom were giving us really, really strange looks, but that's okay. He reached the conclusion I wanted him to reach. :)
Halloween continues!
Tonight was the Halloween celebration at the community college. Daniel and I took the boys to do the safe trick-or-treat activity the college puts on. We all wore the same costumes we wore for yesterday's party.
The kids were in fine form. Tommy, in particular, looked really terrific in his costume.
The boys very quickly got the hang of criss-crossing the walkway to get to each of the many college folks who were out with buckets of candy, pencils, and toys. Their treat bags got pretty full. At the end of the treat path, we went into the hall, where I got pictures of the kids from a guy who was offering free ones. Then we had some popcorn and went in for the games.
Both boys did great with the games, and each got a nice pile of little toy prizes. I was worried that the crowds, the lines, and all would spook them, especially Tommy, but they had a great time. They saw several kids they know there, too, which was nice.
We met up with Jen and her kids just as we were getting done, and the four little ones played another round of games before we left. Jen got us on video, and snapped a couple of pictures of the boys.
I was exhausted by the time we got home. I sorted the kids' bags while Lewis fixed supper. I only really pulled out gum, jawbreakers, and pixie sticks this year. They can handle everything else now. I actually fell asleep on the couch for a few minutes (under half an hour) after supper.
In semi-related (very semi) news, I've updated my online photo album at http://www.geo
The kids had a blast yesterday!
It was the Halloween party at the library group the boys go to. I resurrected the Musketeer costumes I sewed for them last year, and Daniel wore his Musketeer costume. I wore the blue and yellow Italian ren gown I made two years ago.
I baked brownies last night, that were tiny and pathetic, so I used some tissue paper, thread, and a Sharpie marker to turn them into adorable little ghosts. The kids loved them!
The kids made cool monster masks, after listening to several cool monster stories, and singing some really cute moster songs. For the masks, they had all sorts of crepe paper, pompoms, feathers, jewels, and other stuff, and glued whatever they wanted to blank masks that were made from paper plates and tongue depressors (for the handles).
After the craft, they each got a treat bag, and all the moms distributed treats. It was almost trick-or-treat
And tonight, Halloween continues!
Tonight was the Halloween celebration at the community college. Daniel and I took the boys to do the safe trick-or-treat activity the college puts on. We all wore the same costumes we wore for yesterday's party.
The kids were in fine form. Tommy, in particular, looked really terrific in his costume.
The boys very quickly got the hang of criss-crossing the walkway to get to each of the many college folks who were out with buckets of candy, pencils, and toys. Their treat bags got pretty full. At the end of the treat path, we went into the hall, where I got pictures of the kids from a guy who was offering free ones. Then we had some popcorn and went in for the games.
Both boys did great with the games, and each got a nice pile of little toy prizes. I was worried that the crowds, the lines, and all would spook them, especially Tommy, but they had a great time. They saw several kids they know there, too, which was nice.
We met up with Jen and her kids just as we were getting done, and the four little ones played another round of games before we left. Jen got us on video, and snapped a couple of pictures of the boys.
I was exhausted by the time we got home. I sorted the kids' bags while Lewis fixed supper. I only really pulled out gum, jawbreakers, and pixie sticks this year. They can handle everything else now. I actually fell asleep on the couch for a few minutes (under half an hour) after supper.
In semi-related (very semi) news, I've updated my online photo album at http://www.geo
Sandy, the stray cat we seem to have adopted, is the least independent, most affectionate cat I've known. He isn't happy unless a human is holding/pettin
Two nights ago, I was sitting at my art desk, painting some art for our store. My chair is almost three feet from the corner of the foot of my bed. FOUR TIMES that silly cat launched himself off the bed and landed claws-first on my back! Since I was wearing a cotton nightgown (it was after midnight), all those claws went into my back. Oh, but that burned! Happily, I managed to keep painting without making a mistake each time.
Tonight, Sandy tried the same trick, but I was wearing a heavy pullover, so he was able to actually get hold of me when he landed. Once firmly on my back, he decided to sit on my right shoulder and watch me paint. (My left shoulder is inaccessible, as I tilt my head to the left when painting.) b After a while, he laid down on my shoulder and purred against my ear. I guess watching me paint got boring after a while, because he decided that my ear lobe was a cat toy, and started batting and biting it. I kept painting, and after five or ten minutes, he turned his attention to the hair twisty in my ponytail. He chewed that for a bit, then got really creative. With one paw anchored in the twisty, he got hold of my earlobe with the other paw (claw), and started chewing the top of my ear. When I still just kept painting, he finally gave up and took off to sleep on the big chair in the kids' room.
Silly cat.
We have a really low-growing apple tree in the back yard, just outside my office window. I've been trying to get the boys to try climbing it since we moved in. This evening, Tommy climbed it!
I took a bunch of pictures of his first ascent. After a while, I had to go lift him down. Since then, he's been up and down on his own four or five times (at least). He loves it!
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It's been an interesting weekend, starting with finding out our nearest neighbor is a registered child sex offender.
Friday, a deputy came by the house to warn us that he was living there, because the deputy knew we have small kids. He asked us to call right away if we saw the neighbors come home. He said the had a whole stack of what he called "really bad" warrants for the guy.
So, Lewis and Brett went to work around 11 for 3rd shift. They told me to call the cell phone if the neighbor came home and they'd call it in. Okay, I can make a phone call, but whatever. About 11:30, I saw a light go on next door. I usually see headlights when they get in, but none this time. I called Brett, and she called the cops.
A little after 2 AM, when the house next door was totally dark, I heard a loud banging and shouting. I looked out, and the neighbors' house was surrounded with headlights and cops walking around with flashlights. They were pounding on his doors so hard that I went to double check that they weren't actually pounding on our door. They were shouting that they knew he was in there, and he'd better open the doors, and that the warrants they had said they could use force to get in if they had to. This is what I heard with the windows closed, mind you.
So, curious person that I am, I opened my bedroom windows and sat on my bed, where I had a clear view of the whole thing through the window. After about 15 minutes of that, they got in. I think they were let in. By 3 AM, the cops were all gone. I could see the guy's girlfriend moving around in the house, but that was all.
Brett called the cops back to be sure that they had actually found and removed him. With all the trouble they went to, we all figured it was worth the effort to be sure it was safe.
Yesterday afternoon, the guy's car showed up, so Brett called one more time. He's being held without bail (as in denied bail, not as in couldn't come up with it).
Who needs cable? We have no real idea what the warrants are for, but I'm not upset that he's gone.
I feel a need to rant.
I'm looking at all these art galleries on Elfwood, some mostly done with traditional media, others mostly done with digital media.
I'm noticing that the majority of traditional media artists are APOLOGIZING for not using "fancy" computer programs!
What's up with that??? When did a really, truly, hand-drawn/pai
I draw with a pencil. Once I draw a picture, it may stay pencil, it may get outlined in ink and colored with colored pencils or markers, it may get outlined in ink and painted with watercolors or acrylics, it may just get colored without the outlining, or it may get painted without outlining. Only on the most rare occasions have I drawn something just so I could color it on the computer.
I take HUGE satisfaction from creating with traditional media. I also prefer to see pieces done in traditional media. I'm not even thrilled with newer animated shows and movies, since they went digital.
When did the computer become better than the pen, pencil, or brush?
Can anyone please explain that to me???
/rant
We've had a truly great day!
Today was the library group's field trip to the local orchard. The boys and I rode with Jennifer and Jamie, so the kids starting having fun before we even got there.
While we waited for the group ahead of us to get done with their tour, we all had cookies and cider in the apple barn.
We road a hay wagon, pulled by a tractor, out across the orchard to the pumpkin patch. The guide showed the kids the pumpkins, the prickly vines, the flowers, and some unripe pumpkins. Each child (and parent) got to pick at least one small pumpkin to take home. Then they were set loose in a patch of gourds, and told to take as many as they could carry (us grownups, too). The carrying was aided by net bags the guide handed out to everyone, so there were lots and lots of gourds going home.
After the pumpkin patch, we rode the wagon to the cornfield. On the way, we stopped to say hello to several cows who are about to be mommies, and a few very new calves. The kids were able to see one calf nursing. Tommy asked about the plastic ear tags, so the guide explained about the computer chips they use to identify the cows.
At the cornfield, each person was allowed to pick two ears of Indian corn. Some ended up with extra ears, as well. (I asked permission to get several extra ears for Cheyenne.) Those also went into net bags to take home.
After the cornfield, we rode the wagon back to the apple barn, where each person got to pick a ripe, red apple from the trees at the edge of the orchard. There were more apples that the group leader handed out afterward, as well, along with little coloring books.
After we left the orchard, Jen and I took the kids to lunch at McDonald's. Some of their other friends were already there, so the lot of them had a great time climbing and sliding in the indoor playplace.
We went back to Jen's house, got our car, and came home. Brett and I arranged a lot of our corn, pumpkins, and gourds in baskets to decorate the diningroom table, the coffee table, and a side table in the dining room. I tied some corn into a bundle and hung it from a nail on our front door. Brett took a couple of corn ears and a couple of gourds that the boys purposely got for Cheyenne, since she's spending the evening over there. She also took a couple of ears and a couple of gourds to decorate Lia's grave.
I'm tired now, but it's a good tired. Today was fun.
I need a hug, but there's no one here I can hug right now. My eyes are still burning from crying. It hasn't been a good night.
Lewis and I had a huge fight, not a lot of yelling, no hitting, but really hurtful.
I was dealing with a discipline problem with the kids, he came in and tried to do things totally differently, including punishing the wrong kid. When I protested, he said I was trying to keep him from being a parent, going against him every time he tries, treating him like a retard.
It was as much the way he looked and moved as what he said. It really hurt, and it upset the boys. Tommy had already been crying because I'd yelled at Robby, and Lewis was pretty much punishing Tommy for that, as far as Tommy saw it.
I tried to go talk to Lewis in the livingroom. First he ignored me, then he laughed at me. When he tried to walk away, I tried to block his path and get him to listen, and he got really angry and left the house by the other door. Just to the yard, but...
I started crying, and couldn't stop. After a while, I heard him go by me to the kids' room, but I couldn't stop crying. When he came back, he said I needed to go put the kids toi bed. I was still crying. The tone he used was awful.
I finally stopped crying, and saw the clock, and it was 8:50. Then I was confused, because the kids go to bed at 9, so it wasn't like they were up late or anything. He was on the porch, and I went to talk to him. He said he had just decided they needed to be in bed then, he knew what time it was.
He went on for a while about the kids' cleanup routine hasn't been working ever since we moved here, which is true, and is what the original discipline problem was about. I told him that was true, but he couldn't just sweep in and change the rules without notice to anyone, especially when I was already handling it.
I think we made a tiny bit of progress in the few minutes after that, but I feel so numb and empty, and ready to start crying again.
He did say he loves me before he went up to bed, and that we'll talk tomorrow. I just really need to cry, about a lot more than what happened tonight, and I can't.