5:37 pm
I almost lost my computer last night. Lewis restarted it after playing a game, because the virtual memory was low - not unusual - and it got stuck on the memory check on the restart. About ten tries later, when Lewis was really freaking out, I decided to shut it down and go to bed. It was about 1:30, after all. I know this will sound odd, but I prayed and asked God to fix my computer. This morning, I pressed the power button, and Windows came up just as usual. Am I grateful? OH YEAH!

I started remaking Lewis's patents of nobility for his SCA persona last night. The original got ruined when it was left in the car toio long and the wax pendant seals melted all over it. I have all of the pencil work done, and will do the ink outlining tonight.

I finished another fun illumination. I'll scan it later and post it. I have yet another in the white work stage, so I'll finish the white, gild it, and scan them at the same time. The first says "Enchanted," and the other says "Blessed Be."

I just about froze my fingers hanging laundry yesrday. It was a cold, blustery day. By the end of the second load, I was having trouble making my fingers squeeze the clothespin. I was actually in tears from the cold and related pain when I came inside. I'll be very glad when Lewis gets the dryer fixed!

:58 pm
It's been a long day, but mostly pretty good.

I took the kids to their library group this morning. We went almost an hour early because Tommy wanted to have time to read books together before it started. The theme for today was Native Americans. They had a few stories, several songs (including way too many verses of 10 Little Indians), and made papooses out of paper lunch bags. Denna brought cornmeal cookies and pumpkin muffins that she had made for the kids.

I spent the greater part of the afternoon cutting out stencils for more wooden signs Lewis has decided we need for the store.

I did a small load of laundry, then discovered that nearly half of my clothespins are missing. The kids swear they didn't take them. I found enough hiding in the grass to get the clothes up, but it was close.

Tommy and I worked on phonics while I was frying the potatoes for supper. He worked on ou/ow, singular and plurar possessives, and rhyming words. Sitting at the kitchen counter seemed to work well for him.

I'm working on my CafePress store now, adding some new products.

2:11 pm
I had another weird dream last night.

I woke up in a hospital, and was told I had passed out in a store. I sort of knew my blood sugar had been low, so that made sense. Then they said I had to have a guardian give permission to release me. I argued that I was 36, and they said various things about me being too crazy to release myself. Then they injected something into the IV going into my right arm. I tried to pull the IV out, but the drug got to me and I passed out.

When I woke up, the doctors said I had been unconscious for three days. There was a long conversation then with the doctors saying I was crazy, and me trying to convince them I wasn't. Then, as I was getting really scared, I heard Lewis's voice in the hall, trying to find me, and I screamed. He and my pastor came in. It turned out that it was the day before Christmas Eve, and I had been missing for over six weeks. They had the FBI looking for me. A friend of Brett's who was a nurse had seen me at the hospital, even though the FBI didn't find me there, which was why Lewis was there looking for me.

There was a big commotion that involved police then, and I was sent home. On the way, the pastor said I'd lost weight and needed to stop at Walmart for clothes. Then I noticed my clothes were ridiculously loose. I had lost about 170 pounds in the hospital.

Once home, we were trying to wrap Christmas presents, when reporters showed up to cover my abduction and rescue.

It was really vividly clear, like watching it on TV. It was weird.

1:48 am
As usual, I'm tired. I spent the greater part of the day drawing and painting again. (Believe In Magic)

I have another one almost fully outlined in ink, that I should be able to finish tomorrow.

I updated my CafePress shop some. I also made some mental notes of changes I need to make there. While I was there, I captured screen shots of all my product pages to use in making a catalog to keep on my desk at the store.

Supper was really late. I was already reading bedtime stories to the kids when Lewis said it was ready. We got them up to go eat at 10 PM. Ugh! At least they ate decently, and went to sleep pretty easily afterward.

Lewis and Brett picked up the new weapons shipment. They got me a set of bodice daggers this time around. Pretty little trinkets, and sharp. I like it. They have a little double sheath, and very pretty handles.

While they were in town, they got me a "textures of ivory" paper assortment. It's got some nice, subtle papers in it, though the one ridged paper looks questionable. They got me more cardstock, too.

1:46 am

Daniel called today. He spent last night in the hospital. His cell mates held him down and forced him to swallow some pills. I had a very long heart to heart with his lawyer on the phone after he called. Among other things, the lawyer wants to have him evaluated psychologically, to which I enthusiastically agreed. We discussed how a hospital is far better than a jail for him. Mental hospital. He's going to contact Daniel's former psychologist. The one who was the county mental health director, is also a real doctor, and gave us the diagnosis in the first place. Lewis is finally completely behind that decision, too. At last.

11:49 am
It's a gloomy day. I had weird dreams last night, which seemed to involve Sandy the cat and his evil twin. It's all hazy, but it was very odd.

I was up at 2 AM to let Roxie back into the yard. I don't know how she got out, but she was barking at the gate, wanting to come in.

Tommy and I are working on phonics, using a stack of Word Works magazines that Ann gave me. He does a great job, and is starting to read the recurring words, but he still loses interest fast. We just have to keep going back to it. So far, these magazines and our Dr Seuss workbook seem to be the most effective for him.

I've got another fun illumination going on my desk. I have it drawn, traced, and outlined. I should finish it today. It says "Believe in magic," and uses a variation of my new wizard design.

9:08 pm
I've been on a painting frenzy. I started about midnight last night, stopped to sleep about 3, and started again a little after 8 this morning. The result? Two "just for fun" illuminations that I really, really like.

(Castle and Magic)

I'll be taking both of them down to the store in the next day or two.

Robby's running a fever tonight. He's playing like normal, but he's hardly eating, and he put himself down for a nap this afternoon. I'm going to be home with him tomorrow, I guess, at least part of the day.

We ordered more swords and other weapons for the store today. We'll have them sometime tomorrow. :)

1:48 pm
I went to bed at 10:30 last night, and ended up having a weird dream.

I was in a house, I think it was this house, looking out the back door. In the yard, up a small hill to my right (which isn't there in reality), there was an old, wooden shed. I was curious about it, and just getting ready to go see what was in it, when I noticed a white singlewide trailer just below and beyond the shed, facing up the hill. Someone out of view reminded me that the trailer was where Louie Watson lived, and that I'd better stay away. (Louie is a nice guy in reality.) As I was watching, Louie's brother Clyde came out of the trailer carring a black garbage bag that looked full. He was wearing a navy blue suit that was too snug to button, and walked like a penguin. He carried the bag to the interesting shed, at which point I remembered knowing the shed was for garbage.

I went out to talk to Clyde, and found myself on a sort of paved walkway on a grassy hilltop, looking down on the trailer on my right and the back door of my house on the left. Clyde and the shed were nowhere in sight, but a very large (think lumberjack) man with a lot of bushy, dark hair and matching beard, riding one of those tint indoor scooter things they make for people who can't get around, was just in front of me. He and his scooter fell over just then. He lay on the ground and laughed about it, but then another man, maybe late 20s, Italian-looking, also on one of those scooters, fell over just down the path from him. I found myself leaning over the first man, who made a rather large mound to lean over, and helping the second man get upright again, reaching ten feet or more to do so. Then I helped the first man, who was still laughing, to get up.

Then I was at some sort of festival or celebration. I want to say it was a wedding of sorts. Robby was to be in some sort of race, running with a little girl. I strolled with some other women through a park-like treelot to the slope of a hill, where I looked down and saw Robby and the girl burst out of the bushes and run pell-mell across a paved road toward my hill, which was carpeted with yellow and brown leaves.

There was more to do with the wedding, but it's very hazy now, except that at least some of it was inside a pink room, and there was no actual wedding.

Anyway, back to reality.

The boys and I went to church today. The Anchor of Hope service was fine, but Robby pretty well lost it during the Galena service. I had to bring them home at Scripture time, because he was thrashing on the floor, kicking and yelling, though I'm not sure why. Frances brought them a bag of Halloween candy, and she made them each a fabric book. At Galena, Howard had two dozen eggs and a bag of reading textbooks that Ann had sent for the boys.

9:37 am
Today's the day. I'm not sure we're ready, but we open in an hour and a half.

I had weird dreams last night. Somehow, I was staying with rich people, or part of a rich family. There was a housekeeper, and I kept getting into trouble for doing her work. Oddly, it was this house. At one point, the door from the laundry room to the kitchen was sealed up with pink plaster and wallboard, so I was stuck in the bedroom area. Sometime after that, the housekeeper was sitting at the dining room table, and the father of the family was saying she couldn't eat dinner with the family. Lunch, maybe, but not dinner. Because she was a servant. I hugged her shoulders from behind and told her I had been a housekeeper when I was in college, so I understood. Now, I really was a housekeeper, but I never went to college in the usual sense. Still, the dream flashed to several memories of lunch and tea breaks in the rectory kitchen. All in all, it was a restless sleep, at best.

Brett and I were up until 2 AM, putting her necklaces on cards for display. She made 25, plus a bracelet. They're really beautiful! She used a lot of quartz, rose quartz, amethyst, hematite, moonstone, bloodstone, jasper, amber, and a couple whose names I don't remember, as well as some standard clear crystals.

The store opens in the morning! Yay! We're nearly ready, too. I'm really excited.

I finished painting the window this morning. I'll be sure to get pictures.

I'm really tired, but I have work yet to do tonight. At least I feel a bit better. My fever broke.

Roxie and Spooner kept getting loose today. I love having a fenced yard, but there are too many gates with iffy latches. The boys and I went for a walk with the leash to find Roxie and bring her home, even.

I'm off to card jewelry.

I feel like crap. I can't breathe. My fever broke, but now it's back. It seems I only stop sneezing long enough to blow my nose. I keep going, because I pretty much have to, but I just want to crawl into bed for a few days.

I have to go paint the window tomorrow. I pretty much have no choice now. It has to be done before we open on Saturday, so that means tomorrow is it. I don't want to go down there. I just want to be in my room. But, I have to go down in the morning, come back at noon, and go back after lunch. With the kids.

I finished an acrylic version of "The Artist." The colors don't quite match the colored pencil original, but I like him. I'm almost in love with the unicorn I'm painting. The main design is a tracing of the unicorn I made for Robby, but the similarity ends there. I'll post it in the Owns1 gallery when I finish. I love the colors.

Hey, Blue Bunny Birthday Cake ice cream is neat! It really tastes like birthday cake!

So, what's wrong tonight?

Besides being sick with a fever?

Well, Lewis went off on me about what a bad, neglectful mom I am tonight. Because one of the boys missed the toilet and I didn't know about it to clean it up before he got home. I'm trying to take care of the house and kids, and start this store that we're opening this weekend. And run errands. And deal with Daniel being in jail, tracking down lawyers, etc. He threatened to take my phone connection for the internet away because the line was busy when he called this afternoon. He didn't believe that I was offline then. My step-mother called, and I was talking to her while folding six loads of laundry. He'd said to have the phone open 6:30-8. He'd said nothing about 4. And I wasn't neglecting the kids, I was making the three signs he needed for the store. Had to have them done before he got home. I finished making supper in tears.

I can't breathe, both head and chest, and I'm running a fever. That hasn't helped.

Working 30 hours a week plus at the store or for the store, and taking care of the hose and kids single-handed so he can work at the store and his regular job, and nothing is good enough. 30 hours is 5 hours a day M-Sat. Minimum. Oh, and homeschooling.

He's at the store now. I know he's working a lot, too.

Wish I could rest and get better. We open Saturday, and I have tomorrow to finish painting the window logo.

He was mad that Tommy had ravioli for lunch. Well, HE bought groceries last month. HE bought the ravioli. It's not like the kid didn't have more interesting choices to eat. He wanted the canned stuff. Apparently a can of pasta isn't a good enough lunch. I tried to give him a ham/cheese/lettuce sandwich, but he didn't want that. I refuse to force him to eat one good food insteasd of another. Sandwich instead of cake, yeah. Sandwich instead of pasta, no. Then he was mad that Robby left the bread on the floor. I was irritated, too, but he said it just proved that the kids have to fend for themselves. Hell, I didn't know Robby got the bread out. I was folding laundry and he never told me he was hungry.

He about lost it when Robby told him the boys got the clothes off the line for me. I didn't tell them to. They asked if they could help. 4 and 5 is big enough to help. He says they're too little.

So, I'm in a crappy mood.

I need some concrete, useful advice/info. I'm really not interested in comments about added drama in my life, etc., so if that's what's available, just skip this.

Daniel's in jail. He was caught shoplifting at Walmart. That would be bad enough, but he gave a false name to the police, and had no ID on him.

The catch here is that he truly does not understand why he's in jail. He doesn't understand why he couldn't take those pants. He has no idea why the police had a problem with him giving a false name.

If he knew it was wrong, even just had a clue, I'd let him sit there, and not worry about it. He's been denied bail because of the identity issue, so he'll be there at least three days, according to the magistrate. However, he doesn't understand.

Daniel has a history of mental illness. Specifically, he has a variety of schitzophrenia whose proper name escapes me at the moment. The psychiatrist three years ago referred to it as "magical thinking," whereby Daniel's mind conceives of things, then believes his version of reality is real. Rules of society mean little or nothing to him, because he doesn't realize, deep down, that they apply to him.

I've been trying to get Lewis to have Daniel declared mentally incompetent since we got that diagnosis. Until today, Lewis has been offended by the suggestion, and has resisted the idea. Tonight, he asked me to find out what we need to do to start the process.

That's where my need for advice/info comes in. Does anyone - Maggie? - know how to get an adult declared mentally incompetent in the US?

Daniel should be out of jail in a few days. It's a first offense, so I see him getting probation, and maybe community service. I'm not actually that upset about it, but we need to address the deeper problem. Putting him out on the street would be convenient for us, but wouldn't do him, or society, any good. Getting him into a supervised living situation would do all of us good, and could be a permanent solution. First, we need to make it so he can be forced into such a situation, and can't just sign himself out again.

Brett's going to call the public defender tomorrow, to see if Daniel can get some representation, and some help. I'm going to call a psychiatrist I know. Any advice that can help the situation would be appreciated.

7:55 pm I'm tired. It's been a long day. The kitchen is clean, the kids are fed, two loads of laundry are hanging on the clothesline. The animals are all fed.

I've modded over 30 Elfwood tickets today.

I have a painting drying on my desk. It still needs a starlight topcoat to make the outer space background twinkle. I'm thinking of doing the companion piece in metals instead of colors, just for interest.

My back hurts. I'd love to go to bed, but the kids are still up, and I need to do more painting after they get to bed.

I have the first little bit of "Donny's Story" written. We'll see if I get the time to actually reach 50,000 words by the end of the month. As I was hanging the wash, I was thinking I should just make a transcript of Robby's chatter every day this month and call it a stream of consciousness novel.

I really should go fold the four loads of laundry I have in my room. Maybe tomorrow, when it becomes six loads. *sigh*

I >>>>>MUST<<<<< get to the store tomorrow to finish the window. We open Saturday, and that logo has to be done.

Ugh. I just checked the word count on "Donny's Story." A whole 695 words.

1:27 pm The kids had fun at the library. It was Color Day, so they got to paint as the art project. I really want to find and buy a couple of the cool painting smocks Denna had at the library! I'll have to see if Patty can order anything like them through her work. The liquid water paints were really cool, too! I wonder if Patty can get those? THe bottles looked like the kind a school supply catalog would carry. (Which reminds me that I need to ask Patty to order me at least two pairs of lefty scissors, too.)

The kids were really excited by the "magic" Denna did with bottles of water and food colors. She started with two bottles of red water, two of yellow, and two of blue. Then she added drops of color to each bottle so she ended up with two purples, two oranges, and two greens. The kids loved it! (It reminds me that we need to color Queen Anne's Lace next summer.)

I've already been busy since we got home. I fixed lunch, ate my lunch, fed the dogs the stuff we cleared out of the fridge, started a load of laundry, and brought in the dry laundry. We're having deli-style sandwiches for supper, so I just need to wash the dishes and wipe down the kitchen in a couple of hours.

I think Sandy missed me. He's draped across my back, just purring and snuggling. He's such a good, lovey cat.

Current Mood: lethargic

9:19 am I had the weirdest dream last night. I can identify where most of the pieces of it came from, but it was still weird.

There were lots of swords. We were at a martial arts tournament part of the time, and on the way to one the rest of the time. At one point, we were trying to sort who would ride in which car. I said to my friend, Kathan, who was in the dream "I have to ride with John, his wife, his ex-girlfriend, and his wife's ex-boyfriend." I wasn't happy. Kathan was riding with her husband, her son, and for some reason, my husband and his girlfriend.

At the tournament, we were setting up what we needed to do, and that involved putting a bunch of stuff in the computer. We were putting in sort of an inventory of swords and shields. Kathan was telling me to hurry up and get the last one in, when the computer went down. She got the power back on, and told me to hurry and get the last one into the computer before the computer started doing something on its own. I was typing feverishly, trying to get it done.

Then, there was a class, and everyone was in white gis with white belts. Everyone was using swords (mostly Oriental, but a couple of foils and a couple of larger Western swords), except a couple who had bos or huge shields. There seemed to be no order to the class.

Then we were trying to eat, but I kept getting queasy from the smell of the food. It was good food, though I can't remember what it was, but it was just making me sick.

----------

Okay, I'm off to take the kids to the library.

Current Mood: cheerful

10:52 pm I'm exhausted. I stopped avoiding the dishes, finally. In fact, I brought the laundry in from the clothesline, started another load of laundry, cleaned out the cat box, washed three days' worth of dishes (UGH!), hung the laundry out on the line, got Tommy to pick up his mess in the livingroom, got Robby down for a nap, and coaxed Daniel into vacuuming (yes, that's work in and of itself!). I got about 15 minutes of typing in (I'm doing NaNoWriMo), before Lewis got home with groceries. I put those away, grabbed another ten minutes to type, then helped cook supper.

We got a shipment of swords and daggers and stuff for our store today. 17 bright, shiny, SHARP objects, all fantasy-themed. I'm excited to get them in. We hope to be able to get another order around the end of next week. We get them wholesale, so I have a pretty good idea what those who will appreciate such things are getting for Christmas this year.

I should be painting right now. I really should. The dragons won't paint themselves. I have two unicorns to paint, too. I'm tired and sore, though, so here I sit.

Current Mood: exhausted

The kids had a blast last night! Ginger brought Cheyenne over, and we took the kids out in two cars. We picked up Kandy and Ally, and got started with the trick-or-treating. The kids got to do more door-to-door than I expected, but we ended up not making itto several houses we had especially planned to visit. Ally got fussy near the end, but they all had REALLY full bags by then, and she's not quite two, after all. Robby fell asleep in the car between two neighborhoods, but it must have been a power nap, because he did a lot of walking once we reached the second area. After about two hours, we all descended on McD's to get the kids (and us) some "real" food before letting them into the candy. Ginger and Kandy dropped Ally off with her mom before supper, because she'd really had enough. So, we were 6 adults and 3 kids for supper. Ginger got her camera out, and got pictures of the kids in costume. She got pictures of everyone before she was done.

Earlier in the day, the boys and I spent four hours down at the store. I got maybe 90% of the window painting done. The kids were pretty wired, and didn't handle being there as well as they usually do.

When I got home from the store, I couldn't get online. I could connect, but not access anything. I called Nathan, who had me run a virus scan. We left it running while we took the kids out. When we got back, we cleaned the one virus it found, and let it finish running. Then we tried to connect. No luck. So, I went in and found and uninstalled a bunch of junk (thanks Daniel! :/ ), and ran defrag. At 2 AM, it was still at 42% of the first drive, so I told Daniel (yeah, I know) how to make it scan the second drive when that one finished. I told him if it gave him any message except that it was done, to come get me up. Then I went to bed.

In the meantime, I got the boys' treats sorted, and got them to bed. Once they were in bed, I painted two pictures based on "Blueberry," with dragons emerging from eggs. I did them in green, instead of blue, just because I felt like it. I also finished the open/closed sign for the store, which has an egg on the closed side and that same hatchling dragon on the open side. I'll scan those in a bit. I did scan the three "Here Be Dragons" pictures, and added them to my gallery at http://joiya.owns1.com/room105.htm .

When I got up this morning, the defrag was done, but the computer still couldn't get online. I ran AdAware, and came up with 95 adwares on the first drive, and 24 on the second. Yay. So, I cleaned those. I had to go to an appointment in town then, so I left the computer.

When I got home, Lewis had the computer fixed. He had to restore a bunch of defaults for Windows and MSIE to do it. Why didn't I think of that? Oh yeah, because I was so tired. Anyway, obviously enough, the computer is working now.

I'm now putting off doing dishes, which I neglected yesterday. I have to go face them soon. Today is also the beginning of NaNoWriMo, which I'm going to attempt again. We'll see how much writing I get done this year.

It's been a really good day.

This being All Saints Sunday, we had a special service during church for all our family members who have died in the past year. I had asked Cindy to be sure she had Lia on the list. She was listed as "Leah," but she was there. The boys went up with me when Lia's name was called, to light a candle on the altar. Tommy actually helped hold the taper we used to light her votive. Robby's not quite old enough to handle a lit candle. The candles were to help the departed make the transition to the next life. It's a neat custom, which appeals to me on several levels, as its roots are decidedly Pagan.

After church, there was a potluck lunch. That was nice. I enjoy the chance to spend time with my friends there. In particular, I like hanging out with Marsha, who seems to have a lot in common with me. She also has two boys, and is used to money being pretty tight. Most of the other moms are considerably better off financially, and it's sometimes hard to relate to them as much. As soon as their food was gone, the boys were outside to play football with the older boys. They really love playing with the big kids, and the big ones are really good about playing in a way that lets the litle ones play, too. Some of the dads were also out there playing ball. We had an absolutely beautiful day, with a cloudless, blue sky. It was perfect weather for them to play like that.

We got home about 3. I painted the first side of our open/closed sign, then attacked the kids' bedroom. By 9, I had half the room sorted the way I like it. I need to work on the other half Tuesday, since tomorrow will be taken up with working and trick-or-treat.

After the kids were in bed, Lewis and I worked more on our newest model building. We're now working on the village church. It will be about 2 feet tall, 20 inches wide +/-, and somewhere over 2 feet long. We're building the walls out of old styrofoam ceiling panels, which are turning out to work like a dream. We cut out the basic wall pieces last night, and added the windows, doors, and interior arches tonight. In-progress photos are at http://www.geocities.com/josephus_village/church.htm .

The plan for tomorrow is to get to the store between 10 and 11, and work on the window logo until maybe 3. Ginger and Kandy are bringing the girls to the house about 4:30, so we can take all the kids trick-or-treating together. That should be fun.

The time change has me messed up. This is the one Sunday when I can sleep until 9, because church is at 11 instead of 9:30, and I'm up at 8. It figures. At least it means I can get some things done without rushing, like heating and thickening the stew that Lewis made for me to take to the potluck after church.

Robby had a horrible nosebleed about 2 AM (pre-clock change). Thank God he woke up with it. It took a good while to get it stopped. Lewis put him in my bed when it was over, because he was pretty upset. That worked fine in the beginning. I got off here and went to bed, too. Sandy (cat) decided to curl up under the covers between us. He would have been fine there, but Robby kept wanting to hug the cat, so the cat eventually scratched (randomly getting me), and found somewhere else to sleep.

I woke up between both kids. Tommy was fine, as he sleeps deeply and hardly moves once he finds a spot. Robby, on the other hand, was moving so much that I woke up with a nasty headache. That figures, too.

I had really wild dreams, that I barely remember now, that kept me from getting a whole lot of rest. I know our dining room table was there, but it looked more like the bedroom the kids had over on Castleton Road. Very strange. There were a lot of people, too, including the kids.

The stew is boiling over, and the kids want food before church. I guess the day begins.

I finally got the sign done! Whew! That was a job. I kept getting jabbed by the dragons' talons when I tried to work on their bodies.

I've finished three more pieces to sell as framed art at the store. I need to pick up more frames.

I started work on our open/closed sign. I have it all drawn out on two sides of a board the size of a sheet of paper. I guess I'll paint it tomorrow.

Lewis and I started work on the construction os a church for our model village. We're building it out of foam ceiling panels, to get the stone effect. The central belfry will be just over two feet tall! It's going to take a lot of work, but it looks like it'll be worth it, based on what we have so far.

Tommy has been drawing copies of the store sign. His dragons are really recognizable! I'm pretty impressed. He drew a copy of Lewis's COA, too. That was also recognizable. I'm encouraging him, so he'll keep drawing. I think he'll be really great as he gets older.

We have a potluck lunch at church tomorrow. The kids are looking forward to it. They're always asking when we can eat at church again. I'm looking forward to the social time, too.

Lewis got the display cases in the store today. I haven't been down there since they started putting in the shelves and cases, since I was working on the sign here. I need to go down on Monday and get to work on the window logo.

Current Mood: artistic