ok just to clarify my oppinion on and of love...love is when you can't ever live without that person, a deep passion for them. Not missing their BODY, thats

LUST

lust

[sex]

this is the diary I wrote a few days ago after working a VERY long time on my character Falcony...and you have all seen me on caffeine and happy...this is WHAT happens when caffeinne is mixed with depression, anger, and just plain blah?

As the door clicked behind me, it sent an ominous noise that echoed through the ladies restroom. Feeling quite ill, I was unfortunately at a wedding reception in a bar. Everyone knew I disapproved of this wedding, but as usual I am ignored by all. Something didn’t feel quite right though, the air smelt of alcohol and cigarettes and the voices in my head were unusually quiet. Staring up at the moon this night, the moon so bright its reflection on the pond was gorgeous, it barely settled my nerves. Something is wrong, I know it. Ironic it would be if it were the moon that was my evil omen, I love the moon, and hate the sun. Funny to think the one thing I despise is what lights up my passion source. But staring up into the white abyss, I had a sensation that my family no longer loved me. Had I hurt them that much? I have become more closed to them, that I cannot deny. But is a family not supposed to love you eternally no matter what the circumstances? I can’t help but feel as if no one even cares about how I feel anymore. Shoved aside and expected to do everything. True I do love to be controlled, but at least in a loving manner I beg! Not ordered around like a dog, barked orders at by people I barely even know. I worship the moon angel, but he cannot rescue me. Who can rescue me if I am meant to rescue others? Can no one ever understand me? I just want to be loved just to be hugged and at least be told sweet lies of thing to come. It seemed staring at the moon, the majestic half moon, my fate is sealed. Like a soulless puppet, I shall let the others pluck music upon my string that bind me to everything I am. Without the strings I am nothing at all. To have everything, or be nothing in freedom. Freedom is nothing, a mere collogue hopes and dreams. We are better off to be controlled other than wandering to our dooms in the hands of the greedy people. I don’t believe I have a soul anymore, too much was put into my beloved children. The ones I write mere stories about, but everything I love about them. I would never be able to let go of them, they’re all I have now. They feel my pain, know my pain, and sometimes are the mere essence of my pain. They understand, they aren’t just characters out of my head. They have voices of their own. I know that this sounds rather odd to the non-literate person, ones who don’t know how a writer writes, much less how I think. They don’t control them, I don’t here voices that aren’t my own. My characters, children, are bits of my soul spread out to create a story….

haha!!!!!!if you dont like captain hook and love peter pan then I dislike you >.< CAPTAIN HOOK RULES!! peter pans just arragont snot nosed kid...

just have to point this out, evidently people think I cant dictate my own feelings about people or what I do...or both! doesnt help I love to be controlled

*grins* I found my master finally, Anastatias Cypress. so much fun indeed!

Monday was more interesting than I thought, K'doxi didnt even look at me, tako and ayla werent at school...and every one knows I like a guy...lets name him...Mr.Treehuggles!
parrokeet;"its not true"

MMr.Treehuggles: "whats not true"
parrokeet:"I dont like you"
Mr.Treehuggles:"ok, but I still dont believe you"
parrokeet:" but you're not my type!"
Mr.Treehuggles:" neither are you!"
and this went around about 8 times before I reached my bus...we just kept going around and around and around....^^ like a waltz!

my friends get me in the most amazing and interesting situations, and its not even the ones I go to school with. Its mainly the ones that live far away from me...wow

I read lusts page and I just thought of something, why the HELL do you put numbers?! especially when the names not even taken!!!!its just more numbers to type and its so uncreative!!!!!!!CURSES TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

the story that appears on my mood

1) so then the sun set upon the apples fate....
2) the apples fate seemed grim.
3) the reflection of the sun gleamed in an ominous wa
4) y
5) FOREDVER SHALL THE APPLE LIVE!!!
6) the samurai looked upon the dramatic apple...
7) "accursed apple! draw your sword!"
8) ....*silence between the two*....
9) a piece of the flesh fell off of the apple
10) "oh whatever apple you win..."
11) a fair maiden came to the apple as the samurai left
12) a single streak of water ran down its red skin
13) "oh apple dearest why do you weep?"
14) *silence between the two"
15) the girl screamed...)
16) your cheating on me arent you!
17) the girl wept and cried all while running away
18)
19)
20)
21)
22)
23)
24)
25)
26)

there was once a girl named "EXILE". she met many many sins one day, GREED was always the one that kept stealing everything, till eventually one day there was WRATH, ENVY watched, And there was LUST as well. Eventually one day, she desided it would be "fun" to steal another man, LUST stood watching, Whilst WRATH was a firy hell. EXILE desided to point a gun and said "FUCK THIS!!!"wrath unleashed herself upon the Exile, killing her on "accident"...GREED stole all the shiny things afterwards...LUST looked at the gun "silly dead dog, she forgot her bullets!"

oh poor dead canary,
you had to drink that juice,
above floated a fairy,
reciting mother goose

so deep into that voice,
you didnt knowtist that powder,
you had a choice!
within it held rat "chowder"

as she watched the only one she had ever loved, something cliqued inside of her head. she realized then what those pitiful humans felt as a useless emotion. the realiation set her rage up, fightly fiercly, trying so very hard to make it to that small little girl. Everything seemed so very slow, Xiao fell in amazment at her defeat, her body hit the ground hard, and bounced slightly back up into the air. She had completely lost her breath when she was impaled to the ground. Drowning in her own blood and tears she reached out for Falcony, hoping she could do something, anything. And then he appeared. the Ruthless and merciless man only known as "The Lord" "You BASTARD!" striking quickly, Falcony reminded him why she was a force to recon with. She had let her guard own though, it only took him one dirty spell to have her upon her knees, and swiftly pulled out his revolver. grinning, Falcony spoke barely in a whisper. Everything seemed to slow down, and all could hear her words. "You may hide behind those spells and bullets of your, but that will never change the fact that your a coward. You fight with no reason. The man just laughed and in a deep tone spoke loudly for all to hear."And you fought with a reason? All you did was terrorize the people! making sure none lived!"
"I had a purpose...annilate all those pitiful humans and their filthy ways. All they ever did was kill each other, like it was a game! if not war, then sex. they hid behind what they called emotions, when it was nothing but a habit they refused to change. go on, kill me. End my misery" He pulled the trigger. With a defening shot, the beautiful that once belonged to Falcony was no longer hers, falling to the ground with a flurry of feathers. Her corpse laid there, only to be forgotten for years to come...

Im gonna eat,
perhaps a beat!
dont make me repeat....
LETS DANCE TO THE BEAT!!!!!

the time tastes like lime,
lime like time,
is it because of slime?
quime time!!!

please excuse me if my behaviour seems strange to you in anyway way, Im currently dealing with some family affairs that are quite stressful and do not wish to talk about them to anyone, please just treat me as you normally would
    sincerely,
       parrokeet ^^

what happens when everything you had, suddenly dissapears, you have no one to blame, eliminating the satisfaction of blame, you have nothing to love, to cling to. you wander, infuriated by even the smallest twitch of a leaf, aimlessly seeking for just the smallest ray of light. when that ray of light appears though, you may be so deprived you cling on long and hard, until that person is sick of your needs, they leave. cant anyone just love you for what you have become?

tis sad to think, that when we think of ourselves, its only ourselves. we never come to think that perhaps, we're just a mixture of all those around us, picking up new habits everyday. are we really individual, or just mimicking creatures, copying all those around us...