There are times when thinking isn't good enough
because what you have and what you might lose is too damn important
those times
you just tend to wander what it is you should do.
Its like
you have someone
that means the world to you
that makes you feel amazing
that makes you have everything you ever wished for
and yet you hurt them
not just once
twice
and you dont even show the courage to tell them
you are too damn afraid
afraid of not being good enough
afraid of losing them
afraid that it all might end someday
and you are unable to handle it
unable to think
unable to function
unable to speak ,to listen , to breathe, to exist at that very moment.
and now you don't know what to do
you stay silent
you cry
you turn off your phone
you go offline
yet you feel like what you are leaving behind , even if you were requested to , is your very own life
you feel your hurt being torn
torn apart
to very little pieces
you open your mouth to scream
because you are in pain
and yet nothing comes out
you carry on
you , the only thing about you apart from the fact that you are still moving is those tears that won't stop coming out from your eyes
and all you wanna do is take back what you have already done
because its not good at all
you know it isn't
but you can't take it back
so you just sit there
and do
nothing.

I think i am starting to understand what i m afraid of.
Oh wells
i never realy have experienced something like it before
and now i come to think of it i would actually take it ehm different than i thought
[thoughts that needed to be typed]

i think i d rather be left alone today
i dunno
it was feeling way tooooooooooooooooooo lonely
head still hurts
and
i dont think i might sleep
though i think i m gonna go walking
i know its like 1:16
but i dont think there is something else i could possibly do
anyway
see you around tomorrow hopefully
night

should just say stuff
but i dont really feel like it atm
and i dont have time for it anyway
so
i will just go away... for now

hmmm
today i thought i d just get my hair cut so....
i felt like doing it
i thought i d take a pic before i d do and here it is...

and well all of you should know how i look like now.... there you go ...

i just noticed
i m pretty different
but still
i m just hopeful
this has so been a bad week
and i still aint done with it yet... well all i can do is just hope that the end will be pretty much alright
i ve noticed things happening around
but oh wells i dunno
today i so didnt feel like being me
and i dont think that doing anything will help right now
so i m gonna do what "sounds" best
sleeeeeeeeeeeep
its like 6:14
sun is almost starting to shine
arggh another day
and then
sunday
*sighs*
need myself back
more than ever

hmmmm that was me
last night ...
carnival =)


hope you people like it xD just the days thoughts gathered lol

hmmm
just another random pic of these socks ?xD loving em ^^

hmmm
well people
i actually wore a tie today...
i forgot my digital camera at achilles' place though and there were no pictures may be if i convince people to use their mobile phones xD
you ll see lol
cya all around

<3

lsat night was brilliant
till the moment we had to go home xD
we had 3 bottles of ursus in one hour
it was ehm funny xD
the glasses were emptying all in once...
but then
someone had to throw up and went to the balcony
luckily noone was passing the street xD
the other one that wanted to throw up went in the bathroom
apparently i got them both at their homes xD
i didnt know where they were but oh well xD drunk people have the 7th sense xD

the past days why do i just feel like breaking in pieces ?
is it just so right not to be complete ?
perhaps i wont feel complete anymore i dont know
and perhaps this break thing will help me
well i just know that things wont be the same anymore...

perhaps this is just another habbit ?
but ehm
i m not in a good mood today
like i havent been for days
its not like i can help it anymore
i did my best the other days and things quite changed but ehm now ?
i just cant 
so i think i wont be around  till i feel better i mean its not like there is much sense right ? ehm anyway thought you should know... i m just tired of these days *sigh*
things will so be alright NOT

its been like one week since things have changed
again
and yet all i can do is think bout her
ehm feels just quite weird every single day
and there are always the same thoughts on my mind
and always thinking what if?
but then i just understand that all i can actually do is ehm ?
think of her
and yet i dont know if i can actually tell her ><
mad at myself perhaps
i really wanted to say these....
other than that ehm i m going to leave for thesaloniki next monday so.... ehm enjoy :)

just read the mood ><



PS
Dont expect replys.....

1st
i was quite happy
then i got annoyed
then i got angry
then i dont know
i guess
bye

its been almost 3 months
i don't really am willing to talk about that but i guess i never will
i don't know why i decided to write these down i guess i just didn't wanna forget it
see i ve always not been understadable n i know that there wont be any people that may understand this
but oh well let me see
i dont mind i really need to write these down
see its been 3 months
n still i m lonely n not through it but its been 3 bloody months n i just can hardly wait ....
hopefully it ll just change n things ll get to be alright again but as long as i know its not just up to me *sighs* i need my life back
i guess i ll just make it n pretend to hug people until they get there.....