[Ayden Cross]'s diary

945147  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-06-03
Written: (6191 days ago)

Watched Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story last night.

Not exactly the greatest movie, or that accurate to Bruce Lee's life, but still entertaining...

I watched his struggle and was reminded of so many things that ran parallel to my own life.

The differences in culture... Overcoming racial barriers, and triumphing over obstacles.

The man did so much and was so revolutionary. I remember as a kid reading his works. His thoughts on life, love, and martial arts.

It didn't make any sense to me when I was younger, despite the fact that I had heard it all the time... I didn't understand 'The Classical Mess', or the blind devotions to obsolete systems of fighting...

Back then it was all a blur. I think, subconsciously, I absorbed it all, without even realizing it. It's funny that now I recognize everything he spoke about, because I learned so much of it. The doctrines that became the 'Gospel truth,' because of the blindness of martial arts teachers.

Martial arts are meant to be improved, and reimproved, not hampered down by traditions...

...Ah, it's so clear to me. It was so simple, but I took so long to ingest the simplicity of it...

There's still so much to figure out....

-Chad-

944393  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-06-01
Written: (6194 days ago)

Soooo....

I was on the computer at around...11:45 or so...when I heard a loud...'BANG.'

Me: O_o ....What was THAT?

.................Silence.

Oh well, right?

So I continue looking through Elftown and various other sites, all the while speaking to some dear friends.

Half an hour later, I got up to stretch.

<img:stuff/m-jpg.gif>?? Flashing lights? What the...

Sure enough, across the street at the Infamous 'TommyGuns' bar, there was a cluster of Police Squadcars and a firetruck.

Something happened, I can assume. Some idiotic drunken wastrel did something that potentially harmed himself, or whoever was in his company.

...Yeah, I live in the hood..

The hood of drunken rednecks. Who knows what occurred?

Hmm...Time to sleep.

-Chad-

943769  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-05-30
Written: (6195 days ago)

Stupid house....looks bright neon...

People are TOTALLY going to egg my house on Halloween...

<img:stuff/mood7-gif.gif>

Seriously. This color hurts my eyes. And it's making me sick. <img:stuff/k-gif.gif>

Reminds me of McDonalds.

No, really.

*sigh* Back to work...

-Chad-

943375  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-29
Written: (6197 days ago)

Things of interest today...

1. I suck at cutting grass.

2. Uncle developed a super deep love for Jesus and began speaking tongues. Sounded...suspiciously Chinese.

3. Cook outs galore.

4. Kids...somehow attached to my face.

5. House- Used to be Rose tinted. Dad bought interior Peace Lily. Scrap that. Dad rebought exterior paint. Unfortunately, mother picked the color....House- Now stupid fucking lemonade. In other words, my house is a brilliantly vibrant Spongebob color.

....

Whoo, Star Wars legacy revealed!

Need sleep.

-Chad-

941855  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-05-23
Written: (6203 days ago)
Next in thread: 942033

Hooray for improvement!

Not a very major one, but still...

One milestone has been overcome! <img:stuff/dand-gif.gif><img:44166_1164465804.gif>

-Chad-

941235  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-05-21
Written: (6205 days ago)

Hmm...

Went to visit Jon the other day.. Funny, how it's been so long since I've seen him, and how it felt like little had changed..

Even though, we both knew things were different.

It'll be the last time I see my best friend for a very long time. 3 years, to be exact.

He's going to Japan, Guam, and Hawaii, of all places. Doesn't exactly sound like hard, rugged Navy work. But, what would I know?

To me, it sounds like some dream vacation where he hits up some of my top travel destinations. Lucky bastard.

Three years...I wonder how things will change. What kind of people will we be? Would we still want to be friends?

Sounds like a silly question, but I've been wondering a lot about these things. Like saying goodbye, and letting go of things..

I haven't told him a lot of things... Even though it's almost been 2 years, I still feel guilty for things that I've done... I haven't told him about what happened between Deborah and I that one night. It started eating away at me when I saw them together yesterday. They looked so happy, but I felt so guilty.

I think he'd forgive me...But I guess I still lack the strength to come clean. Maybe I don't want to ruin what he has between Deborah by incriminating her. They've gone through a lot. Telling him now, doesn't seem necessary.

I remember that he looked at me yesterday. We were all talking about the past, and how much fun everyone was going to have. Deborah in Florida, Jon in the Navy, and me in Boston. He looked right at me and I saw a tear fall from his eye. He was scared. He didn't want to go, or leave. It brought back so many memories...

Memories of when we were kids, and the safety and comfort of being together.

There were so many dreams and aspirations that we held. Did we ever think that they wouldn't be realized because we wouldn't all be together? I guess it never really came up.

Just leaving everyone...it just filled me with a sudden wave of sadness. Staying together seemed so important to me. Sticking around each other has just been what we've always done. This will be the longest time I've ever spent without my best friend.

Sure, there's other ways of communication...But I just think that these things are sad anyway. Saying goodbyes, separations... That's all life really seems like lately.

But I suppose the bright side to all this is that we're young. If I think positively, we'll relatively stay similar to who we are, and still be good people. I guess I have a lot of growing to do. Maybe someday I'll be strong enough to admit things and be honest with people.

Well, all we can do is wait and hope. I'll let you know in three years.

-Chad-

939615  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-15
Written: (6211 days ago)

Kay, everyone...

I made another wiki...A quote one...

Located in Ayden Cross's quote page, go to...

Ayden's abused phrases for some inside jokes and random stuff..

And...FYI, painting houses sucks balls.

-Chad-

935311  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-04-30
Written: (6226 days ago)

Okay, time to reveal a deep seeded hatred that I've been harboring for ...a very long time.

Ever since 5th grade, actually.

That long.

I've been silent about it for the longest time, in hopes that someday, maybe I'd grow out of it.

.......

Nope. Still hatin'.

This deep, corroding hatred that I've habored is directed towards something that many would find...incredibly humorous.

But believe me, my feelings towards this thing are anything but humorous. I speak in all honesty, and am totally vehement in my belief.

Raichu is the fugliest Poke'Mon in existence.

That's right. Raichu. Or, as I like to call him: THE ABOMINATION.

Raichu, is the horrifyingly mutated, or 'evolved' form of Pikachu.

Raichu is a blasphemy upon God. He is a plague among humanity, and anyone that habors Raichu should be shot in the face.

The Devil himself looked upon Raichu and exclaimed: 'HOLY FUCK! This is EVIL that not even I am capable of!!'

Raichu's hideous, vomitous mass would make children commit suicide, after gouging their eyes out.

Raichu's voice would cause your ear drums to bleed and drive you to insanity. Possibly even cause you to put a kitten in the oven.

Raichu is an evil so terrifying, that words alone cannot describe it's demonic aura.

You start off with an adorable Pichu. He's uber cute and cuddly. Much like Maing.

"Pichu!"

Then he evolves to Pikachu. Still incredibly cute and cuddly. He's loveable and powerful.

"Pikachu!"

...ThunderStone?

"Pika?"

Then, your Pikachu twists and cracks, and mutates into this hideous bastard called Raichu! Your once loveable Pikachu contorts into an odious goblin that is a living sin.

"Raaaaiiiiiicccchhhuuu..."

"AGHHHH!!!! PIKACHU!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! YOU NEVER DESERVED THIS!!!! I'M SO SORRY!!!! I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!!! I'll...Put you out of your misery...."

*SHOT GUN BLAST*

"HOLY FUCK, It's STILL MOVING!!!!"

When I unfortunately evolved my Pikachu, a similar event happened. Only instead of the shotgun, my loveable Pikachu jumped into incoming highway traffic in order to avoid a fate worse than death.

Seriously. It's no joke.

Let's recall an incident that Ash Ketchem would've run into if his Pikachu actually DID evolve into a Raichu.

Let's suppose that after he fought Lt. Surge for the first time, he tried to evolve Pikachu to make it into Raichu.

Ash: Would you want to become a Raichu?

Pikachu: Pii! (FUCK NO, Bitch.)

Ash: You sure? **Holds up thunderstone**

Pikachu: KA!! **Smacks the stone away**

Ash: I guess not...

**Pikachu begins walking away and falls into a pit of thunderstones**

Pikachu: PPPPIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKAAAAAAA!!! (OH FUCK NOOOOOOO!!)

Ash: PIKACHU?!!!!!

**Pikachu twists and deforms as the numerous thunderstones cause Pikachu to sprout multiple tumors and Raichu tails. His face grows an ear in the middle, while an eye emerges from his stomach. Pikachu's once cute and cuddly body turns into a bloody, tumorous mass of broken joints, tails, tenacles and sinew. Pikachu is the now disgustingly evil Raichu. Only worse.**

Raichu: RAIIIIII...(Kill me...)

The only remedy to this disaster would be to incase the Raichu in cement. Or carbonite. And drop it in the middle of the ocean. With weights. To be sure that it would never surface or return to land ever again. One could only hope the ocean's depths would be a strong enough prison for the demonic Raichu.


If I ever call you a Raichu, or insult you with anything having to do with Raichu, please know that I hold you in the highest contempt. I wish that God would strike you down and disenegrate the land around you, as not to tarnish the Earth with your sick, demented corpse.

To be called a Raichu is the most horrifying of insults. There isn't a word powerful enough to describe the evil that lurks inside you. I hope to God that I should never encounter such an evil.

A word to the wise. Don't think it be funny to send me an image or a message with any images, or words depicting Raichu. You alone have declared war upon me, and should be prepared to feel the wrath that I will inflict upon you.

I will have NO qualms in the slightest to end a friendship because the "friend" thought it'd be funny to test out what happens if they tease me with Raichu. It'd be the equivilant of throwing the deceased remains of a small child on my doorstep.

I'll fucking kill you.

Don't joke about Raichu. I don't find it funny. In the slighest.

"Ha ha.. that's so funny..."

I'll rip you limb from limb if you ever call me a Raichu.

God have mercy upon your soul if you do.

I'm spreading the word. Soon, within 10 years, calling someone a Raichu will be worse than the N word.

So, watch out.

And beware of Raichu.

-Chad-

934723  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-04-28
Written: (6228 days ago)

Wow...

Back home after two semesters of college. It's strange being back home. I'm actually kinda sad right now.

I mean, it's not like I don't like being home. I do enjoy the comfort of having my parents around..

But..I miss my friends. I spent so much time with them... To think days like that might not come around again for awhile.

But things'll be different next time around. I'll have friends.. A different roommate (one that WON'T get drunk.)

And I dunno what else... I just really miss my friends.

It'll be depressing when I realize, 'Oh, I'm hungry... Let's go see what Steve, Kenny, and Rhashaun are doing.'

<img:44166_1164145230.gif>

Good times...

Let's see...A recap..

AnimeBoston was awesome... I had so much fun with my friends.. I dunno, but next year I might have a table. Depends on if I get any better. I'm definitely going to Cosplay, probably as Rock Lee. It'll be fun. I'd definitely do the Masquerade if I was him, and it was a decent costume.

Let's see... I got attacked by a robot... Power rangers...and so many anime/pop culture costumes... Ah, it was amazing...

Next year? 3 days, bitch. I wanted to buy this Cloud costume, but I'm pretty sure it would've been expensive..but it was so damn cool...

Also for next year? Water. Or some form of hydration.

I went as a half assed Turk. Or possibly Light from Death Note.

...Yeah.

I also realized that not sleeping for about 3 days isn't healthy for you. But you will be unbelieveable frustrated at your teachers for being lazy.

I stared up all night doing an html project.

Got to the school, about to pass out from exhaustion.

She was sick.

O_o Anger rising...

Sent in the project through email, and left.

Went straight to work on my animation.

From dinner to class the next morning. Still didn't finish.

But, luckily, my teacher is the man..And he was totally cool about it.

I don't even know anymore..

But, later on...

We all gathered to watch Rhashaun go crazy with his card. He had about $180 left on his cafe card, and he ended to spend it or else it would've all gone to waste.

..We spent it on drinks.

Okay, so here's what happened. We spent some money on drinks, and gathered around the table.

We were all equipped with Red Bull. We were going to do our Red Bull toast. Only, we couldn't think of what to toast to.

Me: To Army in da sky!
Guys: To Army in da sky!

Now, I had never had Red Bull before. So immediately upon drinking it, I spat it out and exclaimed,

Me: NO ONE DRINK THE RED BULL! THE RED BULL HAS GONE BAD!

The guys laughed.

Rhashaun however, had taken a swig when I had yelled. He tried to hold back laughter.

...Kinda sucks with a mouthful of Red Bull.

He was choking...

And it went the only way it could.

Through his nose.

All of us: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

Rhashaun: ARGHH!!! (throws up)

...

Me: ....O_o

...

Awkward silence.

Rhashaun: (Regains composure) Dude! You almost fucking KILLED ME!

Me:...I'm sorry! I didn't know! I..didn't MEAN to...

That was my first Red Bull...

I guess I should end this... Long diary entry. Probably should've been a story, but it was...funny.

I forgot..I have rules to obey in this household...

-Chad-

931091  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-04-17
Written: (6238 days ago)

I guess my heart goes out to all those in Virginia that were victim to the shooting...

I feel so bad for them. The worse school shooting in history.

I really feel for the Professor that sacrificed himself for his students.

It's people like him that reaffirm my faith in humanity..

Wherein the polar opposite is the student that actually did the school shooting...

He did it all because his girlfriend broke up with him.

It makes me angry and sad to hear such a thing. When something like that causes you to commit such an unforgivable crime...

It's not stupid. Normal people do stupid things occasionally. I believe what he did...was downright heartless. Insane, and just horrifying.

When someone that you loved leaves you... Everything becomes justified in your mind's eye. Revenge, and all other facets of hate and sadness..

It caused him to want to commit murder...

I don't really know what to think. It was just so horrifying ly wrong...that words can't begin to describe it.

This is so fucked up. There's not much more to be said. People argue that they could've prevented deaths if officials acted quicker... Could've prevented deaths if there were stricter gun control laws...

I don't think it's time for that debate just yet...

All in all... My heart goes out to those victims.

-Chad-

928315  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-04-09
Written: (6247 days ago)

Wow... I really gotta do something constructive.

...

Nope. Still here.

Wrote something dumb other than filling out paperwork.

Yay!

Anyhow, this brief rundown of my week started simple, but ended up going WAY over board with details and useless stuff.

So then, halfway through it, I kinda just threw in everything else.

Maybe I'll go back in and fix it up better.

But again, another stupid college story.

(Ayden's Easter Week)

Read it, laugh, comment, get pissed, and etc.

-Chad-

922902  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2007-03-24
Written: (6263 days ago)

...My history of Mass communications teacher was in an episode of Miami Vice?!

WHAT?!!

Life = Study/drawing/voice acting.....

I hate people...


-Chad-

922273  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-03-21
Written: (6265 days ago)

...Homework, while everyone goes to play dodgeball...

Ugh. Guess I'm through with letting my responsibilities and duties take a back seat to having fun...

I've been working so damn hard lately...I can only hope I get better. I haven't noticed any significant improvements, but I'm hoping that'll change.

I just noticed how untalented and lazy I am. And for the first time, I'm flooded with a resolve and determination that wasn't there before. Or maybe it always was, and I never cared to ignite that spark. But it's there now, and it won't give me any rest.

Constant studying and practicing. I just need to improve. I want to be the best, and to me...

That's all that matters anymore.

It's the only way to obtain what I desire. Not material things, not even recognition or fame and glory.

...Just the peace of mind of knowing that I've reached the plane of skill and talent that I've dreamt and aspired of getting.

It's a lifelong goal, but I don't care. I'm not getting distracted anymore.

Not by anything. Or anyone.

-Chad-

918213  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2007-03-09
Written: (6277 days ago)

Hmm...

Really bored. Kinda pissed...But maybe it's because I'm cranky from being so damn tired. I haven't been getting much sleep lately. And the dreams I do have when sleeping have been freaking me out. I dunno.

Elftown been freakishly boring ever since I got Gaia... Gaia is...It's just more interactive. I don't plan on ditching Elftown any time soon, but I probably won't be on it as much.

Right. I'm going home in a few hours to enjoy a Spring Break that's just going to be more of a pain than anything. I'm just looking forward to hanging out with the kids.

I'm getting prepped for AnimeBoston, too... I hope it's going to be really fun. Most of my friends are going, and I might even Cosplay. It's a toss up between Mugen from Samurai Champloo, or Light Yagami from Death Note. Mugen is definitely more difficult to pull off, but it'll be fun. I look more like him anyhow. Besides, I don't even WANT to think about what would happen if fan girls saw me as Light...

Class starts in eleven minutes... I'm so detached, and I don't really want to do anything right now. I feel so damn lonely. Just...constant loneliness. I'm with friends for a good portion of my day, but it's just this feeling of detachment that leaves me so empty. Maybe, I'm what people call "depressed." Clinically.

...

FUCK!

That's seriously pathetic.

In other news, I took a personality quiz. Let's see...

"You inspire others around you with your creative energy and thirst for new experiences. You are exceptionally curious and aren't afraid of learning new things — which is probably because you tend to focus on the potential positive outcome of any experience rather than dwelling on the potential negatives. You are a true explorer in the word. You want to understand and experience it all, and you're especially open to new feelings and ideas. Compared to others who are open, you are unusually imaginative. Only 1.8% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths."

...Well, that's cool. Totally contracts what I've just spent the last few minutes rambling about.

So I guess I'm neutral.

Yay...

-Chad-

903900  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2007-01-28
Written: (6318 days ago)

Not much to say..

Maybe I'm sick...maybe not...

I saw 'The Pursuit of Happyness today..Crazy stuff. I feel tired...so I might go to bed. Can't help of thinking about certain stuff, so I'll try to keep myself occupied somehow.

Hmm....this song...'Kesenai Tsumi,' is surprisingly deep and saddening...for being upbeat and happy.

The lyrics are kinda depressing, but I do like the song. It's Japanese, and it's one of the ending songs for FullMetal Alchemist.

"With you in my usual sight, I can breath
Even though that's already plenty enough to me

The petty me does nothing but repeat mistakes
How strong a strength do I need to have so that nothing will get hurt?

Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on
I'll tightly embrace your unbandaged wound

And together we'll keep on walking, because we can't go back
Even now, the inerasable sin deep in my chest hurts, but- Darling

I remember the painfulness of the love I lost back then
I'm a little perplexed by the vivid blueness of this sky

For example, even if I sacrificed something,
I'd only believe in one thing
The color of the bloomed flowers in the instant
when your straightforward eyes reflect

Even if I'm powerless, I'll live on strongly in this destiny
We'll join our hands and our warmths will melt together forever
If so, even if the sins of more things to come will be painful

For example, if as long as I'm with you,
even if we just turn against the waves of the world...

Without hesitation, I believe in this love and live on
I'll tightly embrace your unbandaged wound

Without hesitation, I live in this destiny and live on
If I'm with you, surely we'll be connected forever
And together we'll only look forward,
Even if nothing came to be done
Nevertheless, I'll keep on protecting you with my hands by all means-

Darling"

Aside from a few odd looks at dinner today, nothing really unusual.

-Chad-

888164  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-12-17
Written: (6360 days ago)
Next in thread: 893410

Yuube kanashii yume wo mita...

-Chad-

 The logged in version 

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