wow. its 11:08. I just thought of something that i must write down and thought this the best place to do so. I'm not used to being a leader in a relationship, and therefore its mostly my fault that i havent been able to hang out with Jessica. I guess i'm just used to following in a relationship. I think that this is all going to change. I cant believe that i just now thought of this. Why did it never cross my mind before. Its all interesting now becuase what i thought was getting me down helped me to clarify things now and i now i feel great. Maybe there was a specific reason i just now thought this and not before. I dont regret anything i have done. For now i see that everything i have done has just come back and has somehow taught me a lesson. So i will never regret anything i do. Maybe the lesson was small but it was still a lesson. Even though something seemed bad at the time, later it on was good and helped me. I dont think i will be down for a long time. Well i want to get some sleep so ~~peace~~

Dont we all wish this world was perfect......i hate it how EVERYTHING changes. Nothing every stays the same. I wish somethings would stay the same. Like Love, i wish that when people fall in love they would never fall out of it. I also wish that we automatically knew who our Soul Mate is, but we have to go through pain and relationships to find them. I havent heard or met someone who has found their true love of whom loves them back on their relationship. Before i dated Erin, when people broke up i thought it no big deal. But after being dumbed i have felt the pain of which others must experince. And it makes me think of my pain, and i wish it wasnt like that for them. well i have nothing else to say so ~~peace~~

well i just had meatloaf for dinner. its tuesday. alot running through my mind. Everytime i try calling Jessica no one answers. I dont think that she wants to go out. I've been thinking maybe i shoould just stop trying to be her boyfriend and be happy as a friend. i'm getting tired of not being able to hang out with her. i'm a really nervous person and have a hard time saying things/ asking things to people in person. So much right now crowds my mind. its really overwhelming a bit. Tomarrow at lunch i'm gonna ask Jessica if sometime she would like to hang out this week/weekend. and if she cant i think ill just leave her alone and just be friends. but if we can then ill go with it and see how it works out. I dont want to think to far ahead of myself becuase in the end you just get hurt. i will never do drugs, smoke, cheat on someone, lie to get someone hurt, lie about love, cause self injury, screw someone elses life over to make mine better, i will stand up for what i believe in, and i think thats enough for now. I got some Homework to do. so ~~Peace~~

Well i just got back from Eatza Pizza, yuum pizza! Cant Wait for school tomarrow. I LOVE MEATLOAF. hmm. Nothing really good to say. o last night i drank an energy drink really fast, so i had a really strong high, then a really fast low. Marcus drank 3 or 4 of them! he was really tired. well ~~PEACE~~

well a party last night, it was great. i'm at Fenders house right now and talking to TRina/Madison and Tasha/Jessica. well i'm bored of this so ~~PEACE~~

well its 11:00 on this wonderful Sunday. WEll i have to help my sis move out a bit more today. I hope i can hang with Jessica sometime. well nothing much else to say so ~~peace~~

Boredism....Its 9:30 and everyone is still asleep, cept for some elftown peeps, which is awesome cause the RP story i'm in is really kinda fun. I dont really feel to good cause i ate a chocolate egg with coconut filling for breakfest, i think i need something good to eat. well gonna go check the story, ~~PEACE~~

FOR YOU PPL WHO READ WHAT I WRITE, >.< i love you all!

SPRING BREAK ATLAST! i love this freedom, i hope me trina, pinky, shane, dev, and jessica can all do something spring break. well gtg cause i'm overloaded with busyness ~~peace~~

erin just blew me off today, so screw her. i'm just gonna ignore her and be a complete asshole. Maybe then those rumors will come true. Darn it sucked, i couldnt get a hold of Jessica, i hope shes there tomarrow. I want to ask her to hang out. shes a really awesome person to talk to, talked to her last night for about like 1 hour and a half. well trina never called me back either. O that reminds me, Me, Chris boyd, and Shawn did our project for history today, its soooo funny. I cant wait till the other ppl see it, were first up tomarrow and its first period! well ~~peace~~

HEllo, i like chicken. Well school good yes yes. i'm talking to Trina and Tasha on the phone the current time, which is aproxamintly 5:38 pm on March 30th, 2005. Interesting, they smell, with their noses. I'm reading what i type to them and they are extremely i dunno. but they say happy. They are really gigagly. Sometimes i dream of being dipped a thing full of rising dough. Ok well nothing really else to say so ~~peace~~

thanks Trina and Gia, pinky! lol. I feel really good right now, i stayed home, got a new bike, and 3 new xbox games! i love chocolate. Well i'm for sure getting Braces, but it wont be for a couple of months. and when i get them i only need them for like 14 - 16 months. then ill have retainers, well gotta go so ~~peace~~

well theres been some confusion and me and Jessica arent really going "out". She thought i ment like to hang out or something like that. Well ill just have to go along with it and hope for the best. i hope Trina is right. well gotta go, ~~peace~~

Easter was good, and i like chocolate, got lots of it. Well my family fought up at my grannys house, kinda sucked. I flew a kyte! it was so totally awesome. Got a bit wet. I love the cold. Well i got some music to get listening too, so ~~peace~~

well i am way over Erin, got over her Thursday morning. Friday i asked out Jessica, she said yes! i love life. well i'm drinking a Rockstar Enegry drink so i'm hyper. OO i cant wait till monday, ill get to see Jessica, and get her number. I just got back from like 2 hours at bumbers. it was fun. well so many ppl to chat to, ~~peace~~

well it happened, the end finally came. Erin broke up with me. She just sees me as a friend now. It hurts so bad, but i can manage, going to youth group really helped. I know Jesus will always be their for me if i believe in him, which i so do very much. I miss Erin but i wont take her back.

wow, No one knows how much i miss Erin, i just seen her today like 7 hours ago and i miss her sooo much. We havent hung out , just us, for a long time. I hope we can hangout sometime soon, i feel distant from her again. Sometimes i wish i could get more attention from her but i never tell anyone becuase that makes me seem like a baby for wanting attention. Well i guess ill just put on my happy face and hope for the best. thanks box~~peace~~

well ofcourse i've been bored. I just made fudge for my girl. And gonna share some of it to my Friend Jen, she is really down right now, i hope she gets better. I'm trying to help her out as much as i can. I hate to see people down, i hate being down. well ~~peace~~

boredism, i made a smoothie like milkshake thingy, gonna make fugde sometime this week for my girl, well busy so ~~peace~~

well its been a good while. I'm not depressed anymore, i was from friday untill this morning. my blender broke, sucky deal. yea well i'm bored so i'm out, thanks for listening box ~~peace~~