A follow up from a few diaries back. Back ALLLLLLL the way from February.
I met the man named Bill Fry. I had LOADS of fun with him. Life was perfect. And than.....he left. He had to go to basic training for the Air Force all the way down in Texas....pleas
He graduates from basic on the 26th of June. Thats 4 days after I turn 19 so we wont have to hide our relationship any longer. See...he's going to be 24 this year. Being 18 and being with him when he is 23 sounds....bad. But im 19....im old enough to know responsibiliti
Im excited for him to graduated...th
^.^
Ok so i realized that New Years is past but I'm going to tell this anyways. I need to vent on my 2008. I honostly dont care what u think of me after this because I'm am proud and sad of what has happened but honostly...u cant change the past.
I was a senior in high school n i was 17. It was the middle of the year.
My best friend was Maria Sine and she was dating my other best friend Kevin Labus who claimed to love me a year before. What irony.
I went through men like they were nothing and I had fun with them.
I had a crush on a different guy every month.
The only guys i remember distinctly dating was Aubrey who was in my Biotechnology class for 3 years and i loved from the day i met him. Well that relationship lasted only 2 months. I went to prom with him as well and we broke up just before the end of the year.
I dont really recall many other boyfriends other than him because well none of the others really mattered in 2008 during high school. i messed around with ALOT of men though and of that I am ashamed.
Well school ended and summer had begun. I smoked alot of ciggerates before i even turned 18. I went on senior week with my friend Thanh. He was the most boring senior week partner altho i bet he complained about me too. I was such a good girl than. I hated alcohol(and still do) and I thought pot was DISGUSTING altho i dated guite a lot of pot heads. The only thing Thanh n I did together was went jet skiiing. THAT WAS AMAZING! What a rush. I met a bunch of guys staying in the same hotel as me and well....i kinda slept with one. Just to make my senior week memorable other than having men stare at me as i sat on the beach sun bathing and watching other seniors play lacross in the sand. I was even offered to play with them merely cuz i was hot....typical men.
It was while i was in Jersey at the campground me and my family spend time in for vacation after i got back from senior week that i saw this very cute guy. I was determined to meet him. I searched the whole campground for him or his trailer. Well at around 10:00 i finally found him and his buddies in a trailer playing cards. I didn't want to just knock for them since i didn't no them altho the one i liked seemed to have noticed me eariler that day so my genious idea was to grab my cousin and we went for a walk past his trailer and started laughing hysterically over nothing. They noticed but didnt come to us. And then.....a dog barked and my cousin screamed. That got their attention because they all ran out asking if we were ok. Well thankfully they invited us in. My cousin didnt come so i went in alone...a little scared until i notice one of the guys was a friend that my brothers grew up with. Well i spent until 2:00am with Gil(The guy i thought was cute) and the others(Brian and Tom). The next night we went to the boardwalk and we got back at around 11:00pm. Well it was an hour before i turned 18 so i wanted to celebrate....t
MOVING ON!
I turned 18 and smoked more ciggerates but tried to hide it from my family. at least most of them. I was starting to get excited for college too altho i had alot of preparing to do. I finally had gotten my state ID so i can buy my own ciggs instead of bumming from friends and mainly my brother n his gf. My summer went by.
I went to Kanobles for vacation which is a campground and an amusement park. It was entertaining there. I had to watch my cousin's neighbors while we were there since they came along too with my cousin. They were young. One was 10 n the other 13. We went to the park in the campground where a bunch of kids were playing man hunt. the two wanted to play so i said fine. with them in they were one man short so i played. Of course everyone was under 16 so I was the oldest and stuck with them. I played and fooled EVERYONE. After most people left we were down to only a few people. It started out as a small group in a way. We all played truth or dare. I was more of just a supervisor but they forced me to have to play so i said fine. well the one little boy named Jeffrey who OBVIOUSLY liked me was asked truth or dare. He said truth and asked if he liked anyone in the group. There was quite a few chicks but he smiled...glanc
Anyways.
About a week later my great uncle died. I picked smoking up even more at this point. N i still kept in touch with Gil. He helped me through my depression when my great uncle died. Weeks later we moved into my great uncle's house. I started helping out at the day care my cousin works at n i had SOOO much fun! I love kids...i do.
I started to lose my men when i moved because I knew nobody around other than ALL of my family. A few people came and visited and i had my fair share of fun.
Soon enough i was heading off to college. I was excited. I was moving into the dorms and hoped that my life would be perfect. Well it started out great. I started doing bad things though once i met Pat. He was a great guy but a TOTAL pot head. We started dating two days after we met and the relationship lasted 6 days(dont ask why i remembered that) and a few days after we broke up i met Alex.
Alex's real name was Oleksiy Merkulov. He was born in Ukraine and moved to the USA when he was about 7. His hair was a long curly blonde and his eyes a bright blue. I met him through his roommate Carson who i started talking to just so i COULD meet Alex. The college is small enough to notice people and who their roommates are if they live in the dorms. Well my plan worked. And soon enough we were all going to the pool hall near the school. It was so much fun there. The one day i got really tired and rested my head on his shoulder since he was the only one sitting next to me. Well cute and kind as he was he put his arm around me shoulder to help me get more comfortable. It was adorable. After that he clung to me. We went outside and layed on his car and just talked and cuddled. Than when we got back to the school we walked to a hidden area that the guards of the school couldn't see. It was Alex, Me, Dominique, Sabria, Carson, n CJ. Well oddly we were all in pairs of who we prefered. Me n Alex, Carson n Dom, Sabria n CJ. Bria n CJ we cuddling as was Alex n I but Dom n Carson just talked.
Later we played truth or dare and I was dared to kiss Cj, and then dared to grind with Sabria(That was awkward cuz she is tall n im short) n than finally i was dared to kiss Alex. It was what i was hoping for and the kiss was PERFECT! It was only supposed to be a 5 second kiss but everyone knew Alex n I both wanted it so nobody counted and well it lasted about 15 seconds until we noticed. LMAO. two days later we were dating. We knew eachother for only a week before we were dating. He lived all the way in New Jersey and me in lame Pennsylvania so we couldn't be together on weekends when we both went home. Me n him kept talking from the moment we woke up till the second we went to bed. Texting and calling. it was constant and PERFECT! We had sex the first time 3 days after we started dating. And oddly we had sex every three days n then just whenever we wanted but we were truly inseperatable. Word got out QUICK since we were always together. I started really doing things illegal. We went out on smoke routes all the time...nearly every other night. I only did it to be with him because i loved him so much. The first night i tried beer was the night i had a killer tooth ache and needed something to stop it. Alex and Carson thought drinking beer would help so i tasted it. Stupid me..i hadn't ate anything that day and hated the taste of beer(Budweiser). I only had a small sip and than said no. We went out for our normal "walk" and started feeling dissy n REALLY sick. Alex walked me back to my room and i started throwing up in the trash can but had nothing TO throw up so it was all just water which made me even more sick. Alex came in just before midnight to see if i was ok and to say goodnight.
This was the cutest
He cuddled up with me on my bed since i was in and out of sleep. He held on to me close and whispered in my ear.."I love you." it was the first time it was said. He was drunk AND high when he said it but it still sounded amazing. I started spending weekends at his house. Every other weekend actually. It was amazing there and his family was so much fun. It was cute since they kept speaking in Ukranian to talk about how cute or fun i was....at least thats what Alex told me they said. And every now and then he would stay at my house. I went home for the weekend but left Saterday so i could be with him for our one month. We went to the mall and he bought me a "By Guess" jacket that was $90. WOW!
This is where tragidy stuck.
He got high the next night and i didnt want him to. I got angry when he started to ignore me as he was high. We all went out to go to Wendy's but Alex wouldn't even look at me....and we were in a group of 8 people. We all tried to get into my friends little Focus and wow...that was a disaster. Alex tried sitting on my lap and i was still pissed so i punched him in the spine. He didnt even talk to me then....instea
The next day i tried talking to Alex and he avoided me telling me he was going to be late for class. there was 5 minutes left till his class started. Later i tried again and he gave me the same answer and i knew he was doing it intentionally. Dom talked to him in class and he said it was over. My heart sank. I died inside. I wrote a poem about him and it was beautifully written but had me on suicide watch for 2 weeks. Our relationship had lasted a month n 2 days. It went out miserbly and EVERYONE knew about it. Nobody saw me the same anymore. I wouldn't even look at another man again. I avoided friends and hid out in my dorm room all day other than classes. My smile was entirely gone. More drama was started and BAM now Sabria who was once my best friend was now clinging on Alex. They both claimed that nothing was going on. I tried staying around Alex as just a friend but Sabria was always there now. She even spent nights in his room which isn't allowed by the school. They we cuddling on his bed while i was right there in the room. i was sitting on his bed with him and suddenly Sabria and Alex kiss right next to me as if i wasnt there. Dom saw it and flipped out at Bria since they were best friends. I cried over him night after night and Sabria was now fucking my ex who she new i loved. They didnt even date and a month later she was thrown away just like me. She went into depression like i did. I tried moving on to other men but there was nobody. Its been two months now and Dominique is my best friend and i still hate Sabria but avoid drama by still talking to her. My first semester was miserable. Maybe second would be better.
I survived christmas with the family after my grandmother's fiancee of 15 years passed away a week earlier. Days went by and New Years Eve finally my nephew came. We spent the WHOLE day in the hospital with my brother, his gf, and the new baby, Christopher. He lives with us and we see him everyday. ima miss him when i go back to college.
New Years night i was lousy. New Years was always the worst for me because while every couple around me was kissing i stood there staring at the sky wishing for a miracle. I fell asleep right after the ball dropped and hoped the night would be over.
Tomorow i head back to school and I know for a fact I will see Alex there with all of my friends. There will be no way to avoid him but maybe.....my new years wish will come true. Ill never forget Oleksiy Merkulov and the many moments we shared.
Im sorry this was so long. I had a long year and most of it wasn't even told. Well.....BAI MY FRIENDS!
Prepare for more notes of my days at college in second semester.
Taken from [XxTsomexX]
[✖]Stupidity Test:
[#List]
[X] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[X] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[X] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then
people gave you weird looks.
So far: 4
[X] You have ran into a tree/bush.
[x] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[X] You have tried to lick your elbow.
[x] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[x] You just tried to sing them.
So far: 9
[x] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[X] You have choked on your own spit.
[x] You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it.
[ ] You've never seen the Matrix.
[ ] You type only with two fingers.
So far: 12
[X] You have accidentally caught something on fire.
[x] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.
[X] You have caught yourself drooling.
[X] You've fallen asleep in class.
[] If someone says "fart" you laugh.
So far: 16
[X] Sometimes you just stop thinking.
[X] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about
[X] People are often shaking their heads and walk away from you.
[x] You are often told to use your "inside voice".
[X] You use your fingers to do simple math.
So far: 21
[ ] You have eaten a bug
[x] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.
[X] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it.
[X] You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.
So far: 24
[x] You repost bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don't.
[X] You break a lot of things.
So far: 26
[x] Your friends know not to use big words around you
[X] You tilt your head when you're confused.
[X] You have fallen out of your chair before
So far: 29
[x] When you're laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
[X] The word "umm" is used many times a day.
So far: 31
WOW I AM DUMB! *sigh*
116% DAMN IM MEAN! Heh heh
HOW MEAN ARE YOU?????
Complete the following questions to find out just how mean you are.
[x] I think I'm gonna have a high score on this.
[x] I don't talk to one or both of my parents that much.
[x] I have said horrible things to someone's face.
[x] I give people disgusting looks sometimes.
[x] I've been known to have an attitude.
Total: 5
[x] I took heads off dolls or action figures when I was little
[x] I have destroyed something valuable on purpose.
[x] Most people suck.
[x] I have thrown total tantrums.
[x] I get mad easily.
Total so far: 10
[x] I get irritated easily.
[x] I have no clue when I'm doing it.
[x] Sometimes I order people around.
[x] I am/was known around my neighborhood as the kid everyone else doesn't want their kids hanging out with.
[x] I've argued with a teacher.
Total so far: 15
[x] I could honestly care less about school.
[x] I love messing with other people's heads.
[x] I've been told I'm conceited.
[x] I joke around.
[x] I yell daily
total so far: 20
[x] I seem to always be in a fight with someone.
[x] I don't like smiling but do it anyway.
[x] I know at least 3 people I would like to kick the crap out of.
[x] I love pranking people.
[x] I DISLIKE a lot of people.
Total so far: 25
[x]Some People annoy me very easily.
[x] Some people are just flat out immature
[x] I always have to get the last word.
[x] I always have a comeback.
GRAND TOTAL: 29
ADD UP ALL THE X's AND MULTIPLY BY 4, THEN
REPOST THIS AS' I'M __% MEAN