okay..I'm crying again T_T i don't know why. well i mean i do...but i..don't . its either cuz of Mike or..my Ex friend. I have been wanting to IM him for soo long saying " You know what...You don't have to IM me back or anything but..I really miss you. as a friend and tlaking to you and being with you and having so much fun like we did last year." or just plain" i miss you" but I'm scared. Scared of what he will say..or won't say. and plus i dont wanna start anything with him thats why i would say you dot have to im me back ...but i do ..want ..to know how he feels ..unless he's just going to yell at me >_< Wen i went to Loris, i saw an old picture of "him" and i started crying.imma hang that picture on my wall ^_^. And for sum reason..if this is about mike then..i guess im just worried about ...... us lasting forever. i want to. i really do. the two things i want most in life are to be with mike forever and to become friends with ....well " Him" again. He was such a good friend. He really was. But ...i dont know. i just ....wish....we were still friends.-_-
Thats how i'm feeling today. depressed in a way.

it kills me knowing every time i go to my best friends house......my ex-best friends house is right down the street from where i am. it kills me remembering how everytime i would go to her house , i would want her to have him come over. it kills me remembering how much fun we had last year. it kills me thinking about how much fun we could've had this year.

yeah that lass entry is old.... ANYWAYS...new subject..different person:i never knew ppl could have so much hate in them. especially to ppl they once cared so much for. Sometimes i wish ppl could be more forgiving and understand that everyone makes mistakes and I'm really sorry. i lost the best friend i could ever have . people talked about him, and i juss sat there and listened. i didnt try to stop them. does that make me a horrible friend? i didnt stop them because i know the real him. the whole reason i was friends with him. why i love him. what makes him, him. And other ppl who don't see that side of him, talk about him. I don't believe what theysay tho cuz its all bullshit. all lies. they shouldn't deserve to be his friend if they talk about him. I have never spoken a single word to anyone about him in a mean, way. And i want you to know i'm really sorry i screwed up. juss remember how much fun we had over lass summer. I remember right when i got home from school on the last day of 6th grade i called him and he sed he flunked. lolol he didnt tho. it really scared me. I know the truth tho. The truth is ..he's a realllyyy great person. A really great friend and im sorry i ever did anything to hurt him in any way. I'm sorry i left him out of anything. the truth is, i ALWAYS thought of him first for everything. the truth is i miss him.