Three words:

Puni Puni Poemy.

There are somethings that once you see them, you can never unsee them. I think I'm going to go hide in a cave for a while.

Behold the top 80 Childerns books that should have been written but never were:


Rank
1 You Were An Accident
2 Santa Clause, Easter Bunny and Other Lies
3 Pop Goes the Hamster (and Other Great Microwave Games)
4 Strangers Have the Best Candy
5 Dad's New Wife Robert
6 Games Mommy and Daddy play when you aren't around
7 Bi-Curious George
8 There's A Man Inside Barney
9 Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
10 Places Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things
11 You Are Different and That's Bad
12 How to Blackmail Older Siblings for Fun and Profit.
13 Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
14 The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
15 Good reasons to fear the dark
16 Curious George and the Electric fence
17 Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
18 Some Kittens Can Fly
19 Tasty things found under the sink
20 what jack and jill really did up the hill
21 Ernie and Bert explore sexuality
22 Pooh goes Postal
23 Matches, Gas, and Fire: A Guide for Young Pyromaniacs
24 "Investigating the groans in mommys room when daddy isn't around"

25 Your nightmares are real
26 1001 Lies Your Parents tell You so you Won't Have Any Fun
27 Why Mr. Fork and Mrs. Electrical outlett cannot be friends
28 Harry Potter and a Pair of Hermonies Panties
29 Stop and Roll - a Joe Camel's Guide to Smoking
30 The Time The Coyote Really Catches The Roadrunner
31 Whos' your Daddy?
32 And thats why we now call uncle Robert Auntie Roberta
33 Potty Time for Dummies
34 Frank the Friendly Firearm
35 Why Daddy likes young women by Hugh Hefner
36 The Little Engine That Couldn't
37 Horton Screws a Who
38 Why Mommy spanks Daddy when he's been bad.
39 If You're Bad, the Earth Will Explode and Mommy and Daddy Will Die

40 Junior Pyromaniac--199 fun games with matches
41 "The Exciting World of Germs: They Are Everywhere and They Want to Kill You."
42 The Alter Boy's Survival Guide
43 Curious George and the Medicine Cabinet
44 fun with big knives
45 guess who's adopted
46 A Guide to Wall Coloring
47 Learning to love your new parents because Daddy needed some extra cash

48 101 Inexpensive Pranks to Pull on Your Parents
49 Playtime with the opposite sex!
50 Poop Can Be Fun
51 The Gat In The Hat (And Other Tales From The Hood)
52 The Monsters that DO live in your closet want you Dead
53 Cults, Porn, Slashing Your wrists and Other Fun Hobbies
54 The Broken Glass, Rusty Nails, and Road Salt Activity Book
55 The Little Shotgun That Could
56 Why mommy and daddy say "Were Busy," all the time.
57 Your Mommy\'s Real Job
58 Executions Illustrated Picture Book
59 Fit in or Get out
60 "You Are Uglier Than Everyone Else In the World."
61 A beginer's guide to peeping on the babysitter
62 The Little Engine That Didn't Try, And Ended Up Happier
63 All Cats Go To Hell
64 Everyone Hates You Because Your Different-A Nazi Coloring Book

65 Your Siblings are Full of Candy
66 Dialing 9-1-1 Can Be Fun!
67 The Night Santa And Mummy Had Fun
68 Deadly weapons and other things to keep away Bullies
69 How to hide a dead dog
70 Why Tickle-Me-Elmo Likes To Be Tickled
71 A children's guide to colors- black, white, latino...
72 The Truth About Potty Training: You'll Go Down the Drain!
73 Who shat in the hat?
74 "Fun poses for fun games with the opposite sex"
75 "Paste is tasty and nutritious."
76 illegitemate children and other consequences of casual sex
77 junior necronomicon
78 Randy the Razor Goes to Artery Town
79 "Junior's Guide to Starting An Evil World Order."
80 Babies First Murder Weapon

Thank You GOD. Thank you for answering my prayers, I Love you.

That's right, Sonic the Hedgehog is Super Smash Brothers Brawl!!!

Here's proof too: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kytuRo7YXzw

and for a more offical site check out: http://wii.ign.com/articles/826/826142p1.html


Woot!!

aparently I got a fifteen day free preview of Fight science... it was suppose to air August 20th.

Baby's make everything better.

500,000 + Guests
Gates got knocked over during the first few hours on the first day, and the concerts became free

3 deaths and 2 births
(Deaths include: Heroine over dose, appendix ruppter, and getting runover by a tracker while in a sleeping bag.)

http://www.woodstock69.com/woodstock_Aerial_Poster.htm

Abbie Hoffman incedent:
Abbie Hoffman interrupted The Who's performance during Woodstock 1969 to attempt a protest speech against the jailing of John Sinclair of the White Panther Party. He grabbed a microphone and yelled, "I think this is a pile of shit! While John Sinclair rots in prison ...". The Who's guitarist, Pete Townshend, unhappy with the interruption, cut Hoffman off mid-sentence, snarling, "Fuck off! Fuck off my fucking stage!" He then struck Hoffman with his guitar, sending him tumbling offstage.

"Woodstock was a time of social changes in human freedom and expression..we learned not to be ashamed of our bodies in the nude, we smoked grass to expand our horizons with the music, we spent time with our kids our pets..it was very much focused on a new standard for families...the music of the late 60's that appeared in Woodstock 69 was some of the best around, very expressive of its thoughts and messages..indeed an experiment..but one that worked! That festival set the standard for peace, music, people and expression and showed to the world that all was not just violence and hatred...it was LIFE!!"
Juan C.Morales

Guests at Concert:

Anti-War Protesters
Vietnam Vets
Black Militants
Rednecks
Anti-Gays
Gays/Lesbians
Legalize Drugs advocates
Ban Drugs advocates
Anti-Government advocates
Pro-Government advocates

Was originally schedualed for 3 days but due to weather on sunday the concert got pushed all the way back to monday morning.

Although there were more than a few drug busts, there were no reports of burglary or violent crime in the surrounding communities. (Trespassing was a definite problem though and one judge did get his lights knocked out!).

On the positive side, 500,000 young citizens were virtually left on their own and discovered the words Sharing, Helping, Consideration, and Respect to be very powerful.

http://www.woodstock69.com/file7.htm

The 600 acre cleanup was accomplished in less than 5 days by the Woodstock crew and fans.

http://www.woodstock69.com/index.htm

Symbolized peace and love in the violent late sixties.

I want this shirt.