dude i'm such a bad person i swear lol

velvet

dude im so confused about this thing. ive been like losing sleep on it too and friggin i dont think that its good lol.......*sigh* plus the more i think about it the more i think i'm a bitch so.........godammit....lol

velvet

CANT I JUST CATCH ONE FUCKING BREAK??!?!

i'm pissed. again. looking back, it seems like i only write in my diary when i'm pissed off. anyways, i was talking to my friend and boyfriend on the fone and i said i had to go cuz my mom said that i couldnt be on the computer and the fone at the same time so i decided to get off the fone because i was on the computer first for one, and because it was getting boring and i was starting to get pissed because my boyfriend was saying that operation ivy and stupid shit like that was better than zeppelin and i was like wtf and AFI or w/e i mean what the hell and anyways, i really wasnt in the mood, i was already really upset about something (which i still am) and then friggin, he was like "ud rather talk to ur computer than me?" all sarcastic and shit it gets so annoying when he does that argh and i was just like, "no but i wanna be on the computer right now" and hes like "fine bye" while im just thinking go piss up a flagpole cuz i'm so pissed. cant he mature or something. i'm so pissed and upset and confused and upset and shit god i'm just totally fuckin frustruated. i mean hes just totally pissing me off and theres something else.....but i dont wanna write that cuz anyone can read it and...yeah lol (my friggin MOM can read it so) but yeah im seriously just SO PISSED OFF!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh go piss up a flagpole.....

velvet

soooo i'm kinda pissed off. cuz yeah well my friend had this birthday party and uh yeah him and my other friend were really cool but his other three friends must have broomsticks up their asses or something cuz they're really stupid and bitchy and so (kk their names are ryan, trevor, tyler, kenan, and nate. YOU ALL KNOW WHO U ARE...if ur out there and even care lol) trevor and ryan are being cool cuz they're the shit they're fucking cool and i guess that tyler was okay some of the time but kenan all he ever wants to fucking do is fight with me about music and shit and it PISSES ME OFF and then nate just wants to pick on me and call me a loser (which i am, but it gets annoying to hear it in groups) and fucking....yeah. ryan and trevor are cool but i think they only put up with me cuz i'm so goddamn annoying LOL actually its not that funny i'm kinda....stupid? annoying? retarded? all three? yeah i guess so lol well i'm not depressed about it or anything i mean, i am who i am but yeah. so, to sum things up cuz u probably werent actually reading this, there were guys being shit heads who used to be cool except some of them were tight because two of them are the shit but i think i annoy them, and no i'm not fucking depressed just cuz i think that i'm annoying and stupid, u retared ass monkey!! lol w/e....bordum...i'm gonna go and uh, sit or something.

velvet

wtf i'm so pissed seriously. everyone has been pissing me off today. like friggin nate and kenan. they're all pissed because i said something that critizied nirvana and shit and its pissin me off. it wasnt even that bad i just said that kurt cobain was a crazy bastard but that he was a genius but nooo they get all pissed and nate shouldnt be talkin' cuz he went to a fuckin green day concert and they suck balls. honestly if they think that moshing is so "rock" w/e i dont care and kenan use to be cool until he became too fucking cool to hang out with people that werent in high school so fuck him too. plus, there's no one to talk to so i'm just seriously hating EVERYTHING right now. and there's no one to hang out with so i'm just like "fuck it" cuz my friends were trying to drag my ass back to white deer and i was just there fuckin yesterday i dont wanna go again i'm way too lazy for that shit. seriously, i'm having an off day

velvet

GOSH i dont have any messages and there's no one on whenever i'm on!!! FUCK IT ALL!! i'm so bored.....i bore MYSELF....okay i'm gonna go crawl in a hole and ignore myself now...


velvet

just to let anyone know that if they want to go around and try to piss people off by trying to annoy them on purpose its not gonna work on me for one, and two i dont care if ur seventeen and u have a full time job and you're about to graduate. ur a loser that needs to grow up and u piss me off cuz ur a workaholic and you make me laugh lol oh! and you need to make better comebacks.

velvet

god freakin nobody is on at the same time i am. like, none of my friends anyways

random quote from my bestfriend hunter

"our times away from each other make our times together more special!"

okay i feel so pissed at myself. more pissed at myself than i ever probably will for a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time. well i feel really bad because i shouldnt have broken up with my ex boyfriend over the internet because now he totally hates my guts (WHICH i dont blame him) but he was still a really good friend and i wanted it to stay that way but i totally fucked things up so here i am, back at the beginning, wondering if its best to just give up going out altogether. and i feel bad cuz this dude was a good friend!!! he was one of my best friends before we were even going out and now i still wanna be friends with him but i know that he totally thinks that i should burn in hell and i feel REALLY BAD lol....ugh. but yeah, i'm pretty sure i'll get over it.....after a long time but...in the meantime, i should find out if he wants to bite my head off cuz (hes on elftown) he ended the relationship "friends" with me (again, totally dont blame him, i'm such a bitch) and yeah, that sucks. i mean, dont like him anymore, but i still feel bad! i still wanna be friends!

velvet

camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer camp white deer....CAMP WHITE DEER GODDAMMIT THAT STUPID FUCKING CAMP WHITE DEER IS FUCKING POSSESING ME!! not really but i'm seriously pissed......

YES!! I TALKED TO CAMERON YESTERDAY! TWICE! YES! i was right, he came home kinda late, lol. it was bitchin 2 hear his voice after three weeks though!!!!!!! LOL he was being his funny self too which was tight.

xoxo,

luv alwayz,

velvet

PS ONE MORE DAY UNTIL I SEE CAMERON

well my bf came home today but i havent gotten to talk to him DAMMIT! cuz he doesnt have my number and i already called and i got the machine and hes not on the computer. i have the strangest feeling he's coming home late lol but yeaaah, i just cant wait to see him!!!

xoxo,

luv alwayz,

velvet

PS two more days until i see cameron

well my bf cameron is coming back tomorrow!! i havent seen him in three weeks and its been HORRIBLE!!! i mean for crying out loud the last time i saw him we werent even going out!! the last time we actually TALKED we werent going out, this pisses me off. but he seriously does like me (at least thats what i heard) but yup....I MISS HIM SO MUCH! i'm gonna talk to him tomorrow and then on monday i'm just gonna hug him and squeeze him and hug him and squeeze him...okay that sounds really fucking nasty i didnt mean it like that fucking a that sounds so wrong. oh well. but yeah......umm.....so how bout them yankees......umm lol okay.

xoxo,

luv alwayz,

velvet

PS Three more days until i see cameron

well i just finished reading harry potter and the half blood prince. IF YOU ARE CURRENTLY READING THIS BOOK AND DO NOT WANT ME TO SPOIL THE ENDING FOR YOU, STOP READING THIS ENTRY RIGHT......NOW!

















GIVE AWAY:
okay well basically it was really sad but the best book yet. meaning of story? harry finds the true meaning of the prophocy and realizes that he doesnt HAVE to go after voldemort, but one way or another its going to be one of them killing the other so he can choose the way it will end. this whole time it actually turns out that snape is on voldemorts side and hes been reporting to voldemort and he's actually the reason that harrys parents are dead because when dumbledore was interviewing professor traleney (w/e her stupid name is, she's not even mentioned that much in this book) she told him the prophocy cuz she went all beserk and snape was listening outside the door and he pretended that he accidentally got lost the loser. anways, hes also the half blood prince (YES everyone thought that it would be a totally new character but it turns out that he is most definitly half blood and the reason y his nickname is the half blood prince is because his moms maiden name is prince and she was a witch whereas his father was a muggle, so he was more proud of his mummie) uh, harry and ginny date and the break up but its a good break up because harry doesnt want voldemort to use ginny as bait for harry (ex. killing her, kiddnapping, etc.). ron and hermione obviously want each other so bad it makes me wanna puke cuz they wont date. the reason y tonks is so upset is because shes in love with lupin but he doesnt wanna marry her cuz hes werewolf but in the end everything works out, ron and lavender date and all they every freakin do is snog but thats okay cuz in the end the stop dating too THANK GOD i was gonna puke, she called him "Won-Won" UGH gross...fluer and bill are getting married but bills face gets all messed up but fluer still loves him (everyone thought that she just liked him for his looks but she actually did like him) so they are going to get married still, dumbledore had a funeral, and......oh yeah, malfoy works for voldemort now. i mean, he was the person that was supposed to kill dumbledore but his mom made snape swear that if malfoy didnt carry it out then he would so yup yup, thats what happened.

if u have a question about it, ask me cuz know almost every freaking word in it now (lol jk, but i noticed most of the typos)

xoxo,

luv alwayz,

velvet

PS Four more days until i see cameron

YAY the guy that i really liked asked me out and now i'm officially no longer boyfriendless!! yayayayayayaa

i'm sad. i'm not gonna see the guy that i like a lot for a a week. but i always tell myself its worth the wait. and guess what? no matter how long the wait is, its worth it. we always hang out and we always chat and he's always giving me stuff and letting me have a piggy back ride, its awesome i hope we end up going out cuz this is killing me!!!!

xoxo

luv alwayz,

velvet

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thats how many BUZZ!'s me and my friend sent to each other on YIM right now

it would be great if someone counted them for me lol

if you do, plz let me know how many BUZZ!'s there are