Aargh! Oh no, I've been found! *grumbles* I've started getting a lot of stupid messages from random idiots cursing and hitting on me in net speak. Save me!

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I'm going to be putting what I'm learning into practical use in less than two years. 

All throughout my years of school up until now, everything I learned was, past elementary, mostley useless crap I would never use again unless I wanted to get into a related program. Now, suddenly, I have a massive amount of information being stuffed into my poor little brain, and a.) I will have to be able to recall at will for the VT&E in a year and a half, and b.) will have to be able to put all together in a cohesive, connected way in my brain so that I can do my job.

I know it won't be as hard as it sounds. Even after one semester, there is a tonne of knowledge that I just take for granted that I did not know 5 months ago. But when I look towards the future, realizing that I will have lives in my hands on a daily basis, its daunting and not a little bit frightening.

Aargh. I just took a look at my financial situation (somthing I had been avoiding doing) and realized just how low on money I am. I can't believe how quickly my bank account has been emptying. You know, I did some calculating before school started, to try and figure out how much everything was going to cost. I must have dome somthing wrong with my numbers, because the money is disappearing twice as fast as it should. It looks like I'm -just- gonna scrape through till the end of this semester. I'm going to have to be a -lot- more careful with my spending, or I'm going to run out. Talk about adding to the stress levle.

Well, today was the first day back to school, and I find I'm more tired than I would have expected. That, of course, may have somthing to do with the pain in my shoulders and neck *shrugs* About $300 worth of new books is heavy to carry. I'm determined to stay better organized this semester than I did last semester. I'm already working on study notes and reading ahead. I'm not going to delude myself into thinking I can stay totally on top of things, but I am determined not to get as far behind as I did in first semester.

We lost four girls. More than I was expecting. Unfortunately, three of them were friends, and I'm going to miss having them around. Three failed, one chose to withdraw fromt he course, deciding it was not where she wanted to be and what she wanted to be doing. *sigh* Oh well. I'm going to try and stay in touch with two of them.

Second semester is looking like it's going to be a bit easier than first. There are less courses. 7 instead of 10, so that means less finals in 4 months time. I dont' feel as much like a fish out of water as I did this time first semester. I guess I really did learn somthing *grins*

We dove right in in clinics this afternoon. One of our competancies for this semester is taking blood from the Jugular vein. I imagine we have to do cats and dogs. It's a bit nervwracking, because the carotid artery is just behind the jugular, and if we perforate it by accident, it's very easy for the animal to die of internal bleeding. Luckily, it's quite uncommon for that to happen because of the way you insert the needle. Didn't manage to get blood today, the dog just wouldn't bleed for me. *shrugs* Oh well, I'll keep trying. I dont' have a partner though. The girl who was supposed to be my partner was one of the girls that failed. Not sure how that's going to work out. I guess there will have to be some re-shuffling.

I suppose I should get back to work. Wish my luck on another successful semester!

You know, as much as I hated my job at the call center (and I really hated that job) I find my self missing it. At least I knew when my day started and ended. These days, it all runs together. If I'm awake, I'm working on schoolwork. And I can't keep regular hours, because I'm never sure how long it's going to take to complete the material I need to have covered for the next day. The only surety is that I will have to get up far earlier than I want to the next day (usually b/t 4 and 5am) and do it all over again. Even the weekends are like that. Sleeping in means not getting up until 7. I'm so sick and tired of studying.. I just want to go home.

Ok, headache's gone, lets try this again.

Finally got together with my sister a couple of weeks ago, and was able to get some recent pics of her and of my neice. She's at total cutie and sweetheart, and I'm totally in love with her. Unfortunately I know I'm not going to be able to be as much a part of her life as I would like to be. Hopefully though *crosses fingers*





School is going ok. 12 exams and 25 days till Christmas holidays. I booked my greyhound tickets last night. Very tired because have been studying instead of sleeping.. But I'm hanging in there.

Dad wired me $500 so I actually have money to buy people Christmas gifts, which make me happy. I should have spent more time making things over the summer. Well, I'll know better this summer. I have a million porjects that I ckkep thinking of and it's frusterating not to be able to do anything about them. But it's worth it.

And all this time devoted to studying is paying off too. I got 97% on the station to station bones and joints anatomy exam on monday, and 81% on the pathology portion of the exam the next day. It's nice to feel like all this hard work is actually accomplishing somthing other than making me tired and stressed.

Oh, and if any of you would like Christmas cards, I need your address please.

Bugger. I'm an idiot. I just erased the last 4 paragraphs I wrote. *sigh* I'm not doing that over again right now. Maybe tomorrow. You'll have to wait to know how things are going I guess. Sorry.

I must be stressed. I'm writing poetry again.

Well, things are going ok. The exam load has increased from 3-4 per week to 4-5. The stress levle goes up and down. Some days are ok, like today, and some, well, it's all I can do not to cry. I'm still fighting though. I'm determined to make it to Christmas, then I have 13 days to fall appart (and then recover)

Some exciting stuff. I got a package in the mail from my mom today full of home made cookies! I love my mom. I dont' know what I'd do without her. 

We've started learning how to take blood from the cephalic vein in cats and dogs. Luckily it's not one of our competancies till next semester. It's a bit of a trick, and I've made some pretty nasty hematomas, but I'm doing ok.

I have my shift at the emergency clinic on saturday. A little nervous about that. It's 6 hours. I'd rather spend that time studying, but it's one of those mandatory things. I doubt it will be as much fin as the mikling shift. Never did find out if that calf pulled thorough..

Well, I have an exam tomorow, so I should get back to studying. Hope you all are warm and well. Talk to you soon.

Love Angi

My god, I'm a little shakey. Funny how somthing completely un-expected can do that to you, even when you were hopeing for it to happen. I just found an old friend from Highschool. I'd been randomly searching for him whenever the whim struck me but never had any luck (in 5 years) and today, bam, found him. And sure enough, it was through a band he's a part of. So I've sent him a message on the band's Myspace, and here's hopeing he replies. Go check out his band at http://www.thesoundradio.com/artist/warehousedistrict
He be the lead vocalist, Tanner Lavoie, also known (to those who knew him in highschool any way) as Tam. I could count the people I really missed on one hand, and he was pretty much the top of the list.

So much studying. My brain hurts. Three tests this week. Three more next, half of them midterms. It's 9:30 and still 10 pages of notes left to review before I'm "ready" for tomorrow's test, even though I really won't be because I won't have gone over the material enough times and I'm lost on the fluid calculations.. Trying to keep up in Physiology, way behind in Clinical Lab procedures... I just want this first year to be over. They tell us the second one is less intense on the theory.

Not going to be around much over the next week or so. Have 4 tests nex week and that means lots of material to review. Ill be getting up at 4am or earlier every day for the next 7 to try and get it all covered. 

Wish me luck!

Just got back from my milking shift at the U of A dairy barn, and I had an absolute blast. I'm sure going to hurt tomorrow, though. Got more exercise in three and a half hours than I've probably gotten since moving to Edmonton. From the time we started milking till when we were finished the last cow we didn't stop. There was a lot of crouching and standing up and crouching again, and bending to look under the cow.. They don't have a raised milking platform, you see (you won't, unless you've seen a dairy opperation that has one, but that's ok)

Things took a bit longer than they would have for a number of reasons. One of them was a two day old bull calf that is very sick. Extreme dehydration from diarrhea. His eyes were totally sunken, and he was so weak before we gave him the first dose of electrolytes that he could not even lift his head. We had to give him the second dose of electrolytes with a stomach tube after we were done milking to make sure he got them all. 

It was clinically kind of interesting because we've been learning about the c/s (clinical signs) of dehydration, but to actually be able to see such a sever case first hand. I wanted to check his CRT (capillary refil time) and do a skin tent and a few other things but I just helped Andrew (the student from the U of A that was doing the shift with me) with the stomach tube.

The milikng it self was pretty interesting too. I'm proud to say that I picked everything up really quickly. Andrew said I was the best volunteer he'd had in years *grins*. You have to first dip the teats in a weak iodine solution, then wipe them off after 30 seconds. Then you can put the milking machine on them, which can be a bit of a trick. You have to punch in the ID number of the cow so they can keep track of how much milk she is producing, and do some other things. A lot of the cows would move as you were trying to attach the machine, and some times after you got it on they would kick it off. *shakes her head* And you've got to be moving ahead down the line and dipping and wipeing the next cows (we had 4 machines to start with running ans I think 6 or 8 at the end) So you have to keep track of who you've you've dipped, who you've wiped, who's been milked, where the machines are going next... you really just dont' stop the entire time. *grins*

I would love to do that every weekend, but it would take too much time away from studying..

Andrew is going to e-mail me to let me know if the calf pulls through. He'll either survive the night, or he won't..

He was really nice and awefull good looking too. Unfortunately taken.. (as if I have time for a relationship, anyway!)

But it was a lot of fun and a realy fantastic first experience with large animals. Totally re-enforces the idea that I would like to work in a mixed practice. Now we just wait till next saturday and see if I like it as much after sticking my arm up a cow's ass!

Two of the things I love most about fall are the sound of leaves crunching underfoot, and the smell of the poplars..

How can I possible miss you this much...

I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm lonely...

It's odd how I can be perfectly happy one day, and the very next... I have a major project that is due on wednesday, and the research is not going well. I just can't find the information I need to have! And I dont know where else to look.

I have my shift at the emergency hospital comming up, but I can't remember what weekend I signed up for, and I can't remember what class we signed up in so what teacher to ask...

I have two -more- test next week. It seems they average about two a week, and some how I have to keep up with review of new material in all subjects while studying for the tests..

And I'm lonely. Non of my good friend on ET are around much. I dont' blame them, they're all busy with school and life too. It just leaves me with no one to talk to. I haven't gotten to know any of my classmates well enough that I feel close to any of them, though it may come with some of them. And none of my few close friends left back in Calgary are returning my e-mails with any degree of frequency.

The joy at finding out my sister lives three blocks away has disappeared in the reality of her never returning my calls. We still haven't gotten together, tho not for any lack of effort on my part. It makes me sad. I guess i shouldnt really be surprised. After all, I was always the one who put in the effort to stay in touch over the last 7 or 8 years...

And there's realy nothing I can do. Just keep going. The stress levle will go down again, and then it will go up again. And maybe I'll find a good friend in at least one of the girls at school (there are no boys in the program, in case you were wondering) *sigh* I wish I could go home..

Me and my weird brain

While looking for my ruler.. "I thought I brought the umberella out.."

I had a very spesific purpous for logging in just now. But do you think I can remember what it was? Of course not. *wanders off again*

*sigh* It's soooo good to be home, even if it's only for a couple of days. I was supremely homesick. Going back to Edmonton will be hard, but Thanksgiving will be here before I know it and I will be home again. And then at Christmas, I get to be home for a whole -week- ! I missed my kitten. She missed me too! She's been so silkey ever since I got here yesterday and just purring away. *chuckles* I think mom would purr too if she could.