Once again it seems not everything works out the way you want it to. One would think by now that would fail to come as a surprise.

I'm feeling blue this evening. I have to stay late at school for a special lecture, and all I want to do is go home. I'm hungry too, and that never helps. They're feeding us pizza though, so that will help. I've got about 25 minutes before I have to be there.

The big thing is an e-mail I recieved this evening. It was from one of the girls I worked with at the lcinic in Calgary before I had to move for school. The clinic cat, Sonny, was put to sleep yesterday. He had liver cancer. He had been diagnosed 8 years ago and given less than a year to live, so really, he did fantastic. He was doing realy well for most of those years too. It was just in the last 8 months or so, maybe less, that he started going down hill. Alison said he was purring as he went down. I'm going to post a picture of him when I get home.

So, i had this thought this morning. See, I'm having an conversation with Alain ([Silverbullet]) with just emoticons, and I was thinking that it would be neat to have ones that actually looked like me. 

So it's become a project. I am going to cartoon myself, and make my own silly little emoticons. Well, that's the plan, any ways. I'm not sure if my limited tallent with facial expression is up to it. But hey, one should challenge themselves in all things, right?

Ive been checking my e-mail obsessivly since tuesday night. I'm so not patient when I want somthing to happen...

Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

Ok, if you go back a ways, you'll remember an entry saying that I had finally tracked down an old friend of mine, Tanner (aka: Tam) through his band. Well, after all this time of not getting a reply to any of the 3 or 4 ways I had tried to contact him, I had dispaired of ever hearing from him. 

So, I just check my e-mail, and there's a message from him! *dances around her room* I found Tam!

But you know what just kills me? Apparently he's living in Calgary now! And where am I? Edmonton! Gar! *pulls out her hair*

Ok *calms down* Wow. Whoo.. Wow. I found Tam..

I'm antsy today. Went for a longish walk (a mile or so) and that helped for a while, but only for a while. I'm so sick of sitting at this computer and studying. I want to be active! It's starting to drive me a bit up the wall. The worst part is the fact that I dont feel like I can justify taking the time away from my schoolowork. There's just so much to do. I'm doing better at staying on top of things this semester, but it's still a running battle. It never ends! And even though I'm staying on top of making review notes, I feel like I dont have enough time to go over them and study them! *sigh* It never really ends, does it? Well, 20 days till reading week, and I get to go visit my dad and his new puppy in Kelowna B.C. And the semester ends in April. That's not -that- far away...

Gar! I've lost the bloody list I spent months compileing! *is very fursterated* Has any one seen 4 or 5 little pink peices of scrap paper stapled together with a bunch on music stuff written all over them? Anyone? Please?

The lengthening days have me longing for spring. We're having a bit of a warm spell, with temperatures around 10 degrees above zero during the day. Everything is melting. 

I'm sick of snow and cold and biteing winds. I want green buds on trees and tulips and dafodils pokeing their brave little heads up. I want to go for a long bikeride through Fish Creek with my camera. I want school to be over for the summer so I can go home. *sigh* Never satisfied, am I?

Ugg, dont' you just want to tell someone how disgusting they are when you see them pick their nose and then eat it? That, and wash your eyeballs...

Aargh! Oh no, I've been found! *grumbles* I've started getting a lot of stupid messages from random idiots cursing and hitting on me in net speak. Save me!

I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that I'm going to be putting what I'm learning into practical use in less than two years. 

All throughout my years of school up until now, everything I learned was, past elementary, mostley useless crap I would never use again unless I wanted to get into a related program. Now, suddenly, I have a massive amount of information being stuffed into my poor little brain, and a.) I will have to be able to recall at will for the VT&E in a year and a half, and b.) will have to be able to put all together in a cohesive, connected way in my brain so that I can do my job.

I know it won't be as hard as it sounds. Even after one semester, there is a tonne of knowledge that I just take for granted that I did not know 5 months ago. But when I look towards the future, realizing that I will have lives in my hands on a daily basis, its daunting and not a little bit frightening.

Aargh. I just took a look at my financial situation (somthing I had been avoiding doing) and realized just how low on money I am. I can't believe how quickly my bank account has been emptying. You know, I did some calculating before school started, to try and figure out how much everything was going to cost. I must have dome somthing wrong with my numbers, because the money is disappearing twice as fast as it should. It looks like I'm -just- gonna scrape through till the end of this semester. I'm going to have to be a -lot- more careful with my spending, or I'm going to run out. Talk about adding to the stress levle.

Well, today was the first day back to school, and I find I'm more tired than I would have expected. That, of course, may have somthing to do with the pain in my shoulders and neck *shrugs* About $300 worth of new books is heavy to carry. I'm determined to stay better organized this semester than I did last semester. I'm already working on study notes and reading ahead. I'm not going to delude myself into thinking I can stay totally on top of things, but I am determined not to get as far behind as I did in first semester.

We lost four girls. More than I was expecting. Unfortunately, three of them were friends, and I'm going to miss having them around. Three failed, one chose to withdraw fromt he course, deciding it was not where she wanted to be and what she wanted to be doing. *sigh* Oh well. I'm going to try and stay in touch with two of them.

Second semester is looking like it's going to be a bit easier than first. There are less courses. 7 instead of 10, so that means less finals in 4 months time. I dont' feel as much like a fish out of water as I did this time first semester. I guess I really did learn somthing *grins*

We dove right in in clinics this afternoon. One of our competancies for this semester is taking blood from the Jugular vein. I imagine we have to do cats and dogs. It's a bit nervwracking, because the carotid artery is just behind the jugular, and if we perforate it by accident, it's very easy for the animal to die of internal bleeding. Luckily, it's quite uncommon for that to happen because of the way you insert the needle. Didn't manage to get blood today, the dog just wouldn't bleed for me. *shrugs* Oh well, I'll keep trying. I dont' have a partner though. The girl who was supposed to be my partner was one of the girls that failed. Not sure how that's going to work out. I guess there will have to be some re-shuffling.

I suppose I should get back to work. Wish my luck on another successful semester!

You know, as much as I hated my job at the call center (and I really hated that job) I find my self missing it. At least I knew when my day started and ended. These days, it all runs together. If I'm awake, I'm working on schoolwork. And I can't keep regular hours, because I'm never sure how long it's going to take to complete the material I need to have covered for the next day. The only surety is that I will have to get up far earlier than I want to the next day (usually b/t 4 and 5am) and do it all over again. Even the weekends are like that. Sleeping in means not getting up until 7. I'm so sick and tired of studying.. I just want to go home.

Ok, headache's gone, lets try this again.

Finally got together with my sister a couple of weeks ago, and was able to get some recent pics of her and of my neice. She's at total cutie and sweetheart, and I'm totally in love with her. Unfortunately I know I'm not going to be able to be as much a part of her life as I would like to be. Hopefully though *crosses fingers*





School is going ok. 12 exams and 25 days till Christmas holidays. I booked my greyhound tickets last night. Very tired because have been studying instead of sleeping.. But I'm hanging in there.

Dad wired me $500 so I actually have money to buy people Christmas gifts, which make me happy. I should have spent more time making things over the summer. Well, I'll know better this summer. I have a million porjects that I ckkep thinking of and it's frusterating not to be able to do anything about them. But it's worth it.

And all this time devoted to studying is paying off too. I got 97% on the station to station bones and joints anatomy exam on monday, and 81% on the pathology portion of the exam the next day. It's nice to feel like all this hard work is actually accomplishing somthing other than making me tired and stressed.

Oh, and if any of you would like Christmas cards, I need your address please.

Bugger. I'm an idiot. I just erased the last 4 paragraphs I wrote. *sigh* I'm not doing that over again right now. Maybe tomorrow. You'll have to wait to know how things are going I guess. Sorry.

I must be stressed. I'm writing poetry again.

Well, things are going ok. The exam load has increased from 3-4 per week to 4-5. The stress levle goes up and down. Some days are ok, like today, and some, well, it's all I can do not to cry. I'm still fighting though. I'm determined to make it to Christmas, then I have 13 days to fall appart (and then recover)

Some exciting stuff. I got a package in the mail from my mom today full of home made cookies! I love my mom. I dont' know what I'd do without her. 

We've started learning how to take blood from the cephalic vein in cats and dogs. Luckily it's not one of our competancies till next semester. It's a bit of a trick, and I've made some pretty nasty hematomas, but I'm doing ok.

I have my shift at the emergency clinic on saturday. A little nervous about that. It's 6 hours. I'd rather spend that time studying, but it's one of those mandatory things. I doubt it will be as much fin as the mikling shift. Never did find out if that calf pulled thorough..

Well, I have an exam tomorow, so I should get back to studying. Hope you all are warm and well. Talk to you soon.

Love Angi

My god, I'm a little shakey. Funny how somthing completely un-expected can do that to you, even when you were hopeing for it to happen. I just found an old friend from Highschool. I'd been randomly searching for him whenever the whim struck me but never had any luck (in 5 years) and today, bam, found him. And sure enough, it was through a band he's a part of. So I've sent him a message on the band's Myspace, and here's hopeing he replies. Go check out his band at http://www.thesoundradio.com/artist/warehousedistrict
He be the lead vocalist, Tanner Lavoie, also known (to those who knew him in highschool any way) as Tam. I could count the people I really missed on one hand, and he was pretty much the top of the list.