It's been an afternoon for bigger thoughts than usual. And, as ever, I'm going to have a hard time expressing those thoughts. I wish I could dictate the sentence fragments more directly as they come to me, but it would lack the connectedness that it holds in my head.
Do I need to be more flexible in my vision of my future? I'm not sure. I didnt think so, but then today.. I can be that way. I fixate on somthing, and then I get blinders on to everyting that does not fit into that idea. Have I missed things because of that? Oh, probably.
I decided years ago what I though I wanted, what I thought I was capeable of. Maybe that's changed. But how much, is the question. Maybe now it's more, or different. Maybe there are possibilities that I didnt think were possible, even as I wanted them to be. Maybe they are. Maybe I just have to believe they are and they will be.
But a part of me still shys away from that idea. A part of me still wants to stay the path I've been on for it seems like so long. So which part wins? I dont know. I just dont know.
Well that is most frustrating. I did a whole bunch of work on parasitology before I had to do my lunch clinic shift, and I e-mail'd it to my self, or so I thought. But now, I go back and access that document to add some more info, and it's blank. How the fuck that happened I'm not sure, but I'm not impressed, not at all.
Today was not a good day in the clinic. I just could not get my head on straight. Not only could I not get blood, though I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that I was in the vein, I could not get a simple heart rate. And when it was time to present the patient to Dr.Ness, I went completely blank and didnt even know where to start, so I looked like a complete idiot. But it's the blood and the HR that anoy me the most. I just dont understand what I'm doing wrong. And neither does my tech, Erin. So she cant even suggest I do anything different, because as far as she can tell, I'm doing everything right.
It's just like MLT. I know what I'm doing, but I fail every other lab. And it's always on stupid little things too. I'm doing everything right, and I forget to record somthing on the req, or I record it wrong, or somthing like that. And it's somthing different every week, it seems. I just dont get it, but it's really bothering me.
See, this is the problem with being on clinic care. I'm home, I'm sitting in front of my computer all ready to study parasitology, and my brain just isn't working. It's already gone to bed, and it figures I should follow it pretty quickly. I'm thinking it might be right. At least I got three hours in between Anesthesiology and the end of day stuff in the clinic. Not going to be so lucky tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll be lucky if I get 15 minutes to eat between clinic care and clinic's calss..
I cant believe reading week is over so quickly. I go back to school in 2 short days. Damn it all. But the semester is more than half over now too, which is crazy to contemplate. Before you know it, it'll be April and I'll be stressed out of my gourd writing finals again. *shakes her head*
But it's been a good week. Relaxing, despite the studying. I've been extrordinarily happy all week, though that isnt entirly due to being off of school.. *grins*
I dont think I've ever had a birthday this warm. I wish I could take spring back to Edmonton with me. Unfortunately I'm garunteed at -least- another month of winter before it starts to warm up there. I may need to move to BC after I'm done school...
Well, have to say that Pan's labrynth was a disappointment
*shrugs* Oh well, you never know, do you? That will only be the third movie I have ever walked out on. The other two were Planet of the Apes (the new one, obviously, since I wasnt going to movies when the first one came out, not sure if I was alive because I dont know how old that movie is. Incidentally, the origional is -way- better than the remake) and Once Upon a Time in Mexico. I'm sorry, but not even Johnny Dep could save that particular disaster.
Well, I did a little poll of some of my friends to find out what kind of music they were listening too. While most people followed my request and gave me their top 5 bands and very favorite song, some slacked and some went crazy. *chuckles* Now a few of you asked me to share the results, and I thought this was the easiest way.
So, here are the results of my little survey, in order of who replied first.
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People’s favorite music
Rowan[Rosie.]: erm...
Avril Lavine
Tool
the used
Flyleaf
tracy chapman
alexisonfire
KT Tunstall
TV for the Radio
Alain[Silverbullet]: Bands are, in no particular order:
Cowboys Fringuants
In Flames
Blue Man Group
Within Temptation
Linkin Park
and...
TaTu *is so ashamed*
Fav songs include:
Evil in a Closet, InFlames (Never been able to figure out why I like it Oo)
In the End, Linkin Park (But I've listened to it WAY too many times)
Everyone has had more sex than me, TISM (fun to hum in public places.. like class)
[Trennas]: favorite song right now would be.. Jon Brion - Here we Go.. from the movie Punch-Drunk Love.. as for top bands and musical artists.. i dont really have a current favorite right now.. havent been listening to a lot of music lately:p
Nic[Galain]: The Libertines, Tomblands.
Santiago[Moonknight]: hard to answer this,..
Favorite bands and such (this can be relative,chang
Toto
Journey
Queen
Iron Maiden
Watchmen
Bryan Adams
Genesis
current absolute favorite song??
gah,. so hard,.
I guess *right now*
its "Safe" by Watchmen
Tim[smakeupfx]: Hey there sweets... here they are... favorite songs....
Redemption Song - Bob Marley
100 Years - Blues Traveler
Sweet Pain- Blues Traveler
In your Eyes - Peter Gabrielle
The Dirty Glass - Dropkick Murphys
Give up the Grudge - GOB
The Sweetness - Jimmy Eats World
C'Mon C'mon - Von Bondies
Kiss me, I'm Shitfaced - Dropkick Murphys
Montana - Gipsy Kings
Walk Away - Ben Harper
Variation on a theme - Rockmoninof
March Slave - Tchaikovsky
Romeo and Juliette - Tchaikovsky
Ode to Joy - Beethoven
Time of your life - Greenday
Siegfried Idle - Wagner
Cigarettes and Redvines - Aimee Mann
Please Forgive - David Gray
She's a Hunchback - Dickies
Sugar magnolia - The Grateful Dead
Uncle John's Band - The Grateful Dead
Host of seraph - Dead can Dance
Don't think twice - Bob Dylan
Mack the Knife - Bobby Darin
Jamaica fairwell - Harry Belafonte
Kentucky Avenue - Tom Waits
Trans Europe Express - Kraftwerk
Silent all these years - Tori Amos
Jocko Homo - DEVO
It's a Beautiful world - DEVO
Anna Begins - Counting Crows
Beethoven's 6th
Father and Son - Cat Stevens
Carmina burana - Orff
Clair de Lune - DeBussy
Rain King - Counting Crows
Alone - Blues Traveler
Try to believe - Oingo Boingo
Insects - Oingo Boingo
Shake your tail feather - Ray Charles
Can't get there from here - REM
On the outside looking in - Oingo Boingo
Crash - David Mathews Band
Proudest Monkey - David Mathews Band
current fav...Kentucky Avenue - Tom Waits
and, last but not least, I'll give you my faves in no particular order..
Michael Franti
Yo Yo Ma
Kate Rusby
Skillet
Ladysmith Black Mombazo
Current fave song is "Hello, Bonjour" by Michael Franti. It just makes me bounce around, and that's always fun.
______________
So thank you all for your participation! *huggs*
Left school early today because I wasnt' feeling well at all. Almost didn't go altogether, but decided I couldnt afford to miss double Anatomy.
On the way home on the bus, a tank passed us. *blink, look again* Another tank passes us. Even has the guy sitting with his head out of the turret on top. "man" I think "that must be cold" (it's about -17 celcius out there, never mind the wind chill that would have been created)
This is not somthing I am used to seeing, folks. *shakes her head* Wonder where they were comming from? Because I have to assume they were headed for the base. It's about 10 minutes drive past my house. I haven't been there since they stopped doing an anual air show there. That was the very first place I ever heard bagpipes. I fell in love instantly. *chuckles*
I'm beginning to think I have a secret following. A group of names keep appearing on my "last visitors" list, but they never actually say anything to me. Hmm...
Just wanted to share this because it made me laugh so hard. Perhaps wont have the ame appeal for the rest of you because you don't know the fellow, but I'm sure you can still appreciate the humor of it. It's a brief description of my friend Dan's last day at a job we both hated and extrordinary amount at a call center. I would have paid good money to be a fly on the wall that day, I tell ya.. I wish I could share his letter of resignation with you all too, but I think Dan's right that he would be swiftly sued by Tyco if it ever got into their hands, and I really dont' want that to happen to him.
..............
I left ADT with the most juvenile series of stunts on the last day...goofy call answering and conversations, ridiculous account logging, the proliferation of my final letter to the boss and almost everyone else, and the coup de gras, I lit a cigar and started smoking it at my desk. Did I mention that I wore a tux on my last day? Yep, I burned my bridges bright on the last day. I don't care, I wish that building would implode.
..............
I mean, really, isn't that the kind of theing we would all like to do on our last day at a job we hate? *chuckles* I can just picture Dan, sitting in his little quazi cubicle in a tux, feet up on his desk, and a lit cigar in his mouth. Oh dear *grins*
I love how he described me in the e-mail too. There were two Andrea's at the call center, and he thought he might have gotten out e-mails mixed up, so he wanted to know if I was " the Andrea with the cool hair and the impeccably industrial taste in clothing " He he.
Boy oh boy, I think my brain stayed in bed when I went to school this morning. I thought the day was going just fine. Was in fact applauding my self for how smoothly everything was going given my lack of sleep. And then I made a rather large and glareing blunder. I managed to get the schedule for the day confused. I knew that it was friday, and that I had 3 hours of MLT right after lunch. However, some how, at the same time, I thought that it was some day -other- than friday, and that there was a clinics class after lunch (which there never is on Fridays, btw) and that MLT didn't start till 2:00. Um, no. Not so much. I showed up for class an hour late, and was very confused as to how I could have managed that while being so blissfully un-aware. Needless to say, I was -very- red in the face. I had to scramble like mad to get everything that normally takes 3 hours done in 2. A complete CBC and urinalysis, as well as 2 extra seds, have never been accomplished so fast by me before. But I managed to get it all done, thank goodness.
Note to self. Do not go to school on Fridays on 4 hours of sleep, no matter how much you are enjoying the activity which is keeping you up.
We had the cutest little brachycephalic cat in our anesthesial lab on monday. Normally I think they're ugly, but this one was pretty cute. The best part was when it was comming up again after the anesthetic. It seriously looked like a little bobble doll. It's head was just going this way and that with that really smooth movement you see in drunk people. I dont think I'll ever stop getting a kick out of anesthitized cats.
I have a parasitology midterm on wednesday, and I'm having a very had time keeping all these different life cycles straight.. Gar..
Once again it seems not everything works out the way you want it to. One would think by now that would fail to come as a surprise.
I'm feeling blue this evening. I have to stay late at school for a special lecture, and all I want to do is go home. I'm hungry too, and that never helps. They're feeding us pizza though, so that will help. I've got about 25 minutes before I have to be there.
The big thing is an e-mail I recieved this evening. It was from one of the girls I worked with at the lcinic in Calgary before I had to move for school. The clinic cat, Sonny, was put to sleep yesterday. He had liver cancer. He had been diagnosed 8 years ago and given less than a year to live, so really, he did fantastic. He was doing realy well for most of those years too. It was just in the last 8 months or so, maybe less, that he started going down hill. Alison said he was purring as he went down. I'm going to post a picture of him when I get home.
So, i had this thought this morning. See, I'm having an conversation with Alain ([Silverbullet]) with just emoticons, and I was thinking that it would be neat to have ones that actually looked like me.
So it's become a project. I am going to cartoon myself, and make my own silly little emoticons. Well, that's the plan, any ways. I'm not sure if my limited tallent with facial expression is up to it. But hey, one should challenge themselves in all things, right?
Ive been checking my e-mail obsessivly since tuesday night. I'm so not patient when I want somthing to happen...
Oh my god oh my god oh my god!
Ok, if you go back a ways, you'll remember an entry saying that I had finally tracked down an old friend of mine, Tanner (aka: Tam) through his band. Well, after all this time of not getting a reply to any of the 3 or 4 ways I had tried to contact him, I had dispaired of ever hearing from him.
So, I just check my e-mail, and there's a message from him! *dances around her room* I found Tam!
But you know what just kills me? Apparently he's living in Calgary now! And where am I? Edmonton! Gar! *pulls out her hair*
Ok *calms down* Wow. Whoo.. Wow. I found Tam..
I'm antsy today. Went for a longish walk (a mile or so) and that helped for a while, but only for a while. I'm so sick of sitting at this computer and studying. I want to be active! It's starting to drive me a bit up the wall. The worst part is the fact that I dont feel like I can justify taking the time away from my schoolowork. There's just so much to do. I'm doing better at staying on top of things this semester, but it's still a running battle. It never ends! And even though I'm staying on top of making review notes, I feel like I dont have enough time to go over them and study them! *sigh* It never really ends, does it? Well, 20 days till reading week, and I get to go visit my dad and his new puppy in Kelowna B.C. And the semester ends in April. That's not -that- far away...