At this point, I feel like, no matter how hard I study between now and my first two exams, there is no way in hell I'm going to be ready. I hate finals. I really do. I just want to figure out where I'm going to be living next year, and go home. I've had enough.

I find I'm not sleeping well again lately. I think the reason I woke up so early this morning (5:30am) was because I was cold, but I couldnt fall back asleep. I think -that- was because of stress. As if finals wern't enough, I effectivly found out that I'm going to need to find somewhere else to live next fall when I come back for my second year of the program.

I'm attempting to look at this constructivly. After all, I havent really -enjoyed- living with my uncle for the last 8 months. He's not an easy person to get along with, and well, there are a number of other issues that come along with him. I dont really -want- to live here at all, but the truth of the matter is that I dont know how I'm going to be able to afford to live any where else.

So it's a bit of a conundrum, any ways. I'm sure I'll figure out somthing, one way or another, but it has me stressed. It's amazing how stresses always pile up at the most inopportune times, isnt it? This last month just seems to be one thing after another. I cant wait for thhis last week to be finished.

Any ways, wish me luck in my search for alternate living accomidations for next fall.

He he. I bought the -cutest- little hoodie for my neice today. It's pink with a purple butterfly on the front, but the best part is that the hood has antenae! They're fat and pink. He he, It's awesome. I cant wait to see her in it. I definitely must get a picture.

Its hard to believe that tomorrow I enter into the last week of regular classes for my first year in this program. Looking back, it seems like it's flown by at an absolutely amazing rate.

I'll be honest, there were points, particularly towards the end of first semester, when I honestly wasnt sure that I was going to make it to this point. I dont think I have ever gone through so much stress in my entire life as I did those first 4 months. I will admit that I'm pretty proud to have come this far. 

I wonder if we will lose any one else over the summer? I think a few of the girls got letters (you know the ones.. "you're failing this class or that class and if you dont pull up you socks..")

And I wonder what the new first year's will be like next year. *chuckles* One of the second years said we're about due for a really bad class, so I guess we'll see. It's going to be interesting to see the first day back from a different perspective. We'll be the ones responsible for making the new first year's feel welcome and showing them around. *chuckles* I remember what a maze the school seemed, that first day. And I'm sure we'll be giving them the same warning about the halls where the guys in the trades programs tend to hang about.

Looking back, it seems to me that the last 7 years all have led up to this, in one way or another. If we hadnt moved to calgary, I'd be willing to bet good money that I would not be here right now writing this. It's interesting to wonder where I'd be instead. I dont think I'd feel the same sense of accomplishment, if I hadnt had to go through everything I have to get here.

This year certainly has been an interesting and eventful one, on more than one front. I truely am curious to see what the next 12 months will bring me.

Wehee, I love having a neice.. *grins* I get to go baby clothes shopping this weekend to buy her a first birthday present *nods*

Hmm, I seem to have great difficulty sleeping in, these days. Dont have to be anywhere till 1pm, and by 5am, I'm wide awake and cant go back to sleep for more than 5 minutes at a time (which really isnt restfull) 

Maybe I'll ride my bike to school today. I imagine it will take about an hour...

Huh. Just got offered a position at my old clinic for the summer. Wonder if they'll pay me as much as I need? Only one way to find out.. I sure would love to work there if I can get full time hours and the hourly wage I'm looking for...

http://www.kayakbc.com/clayoquot.htm
http://www.kayakbc.com/johnstone.htm

I'm trying to decide between these two trips. *chuckles* Hell, -all- their trips sound fantastic! Such a hard decision... I've long planned to take another ocean kayaking trip as my graduation present to myself. This is the guide company that I went on my first trip with, and I was absolutely -thrilled- with the entire trip, despite it raining the -entire- time and me having an pretty bad allergic reaction to somthing in the gulf islands that left my eyes all puffy and red and itchy the entire three days. *chuckles* Next time, I bring anti-histamine eye drops!

Well then, that's done. Filed my tax return for 2006 and I should be getting just under $1000 back. Now the question is, do I use that for school, or save it for the trip I want to take -after- school is done? Somthing I will have to put some thought into. The return next year will be even bigger, because I'll have a full year's worth of tuition on it, instead of only one semester.

It's sad, really. I've gotten so used to the darkness of the class room (the lights are almost always off and the blinds closed because all my teachers either use powerpoint or overheads to teach) that, even with my blinds half closed over the window in front of my desk, I'm finding the morning light streaming through my window almost too bright. It's that bright snow glare. Damnation, it needs to stop snowing, too! *sigh* Yet another reason that I need this semester to be over with, already.

I think maybe the new Skillet album needs to be my next music purchase. Or maybe it's just my mood tonight. Loud music. I've got it cranked on the headphones. Everything's gona sound really quiet when I take them off. Not many bands I've watched change the way I've watched these guys. I really like this latest album though.

http://www.skillet.com/home

Well, it's been a rollercoaster of a day, but it definitely ended on a high note. 

Had my first CABB (Canadian Animal Blood Bank) shift that I actually -remembered- to attend tonight, and had a lot of fun. It was like being back in the clinic. I miss all the hands on stuff I got to do at the clinic. And what's more, I got my cephalic blood competancy! Yay me! I guess I was not being firm enough in my pokeing and the needle was kind of skimming along the top of the vein but not penetrating. But now I know, so getting my remaining competancies should be a sinch.

I'm still getting pretty sick of school, but this sort of thing reminds me why I'm here, and that I'm going to really enjoy my job when I'm done second year. Here's hopeing I can find a clinic that will pay me enought that I can work at what I love over the summer, instead of going back to that god aweful call center *shudders*

*smiles* But it's late, I'm hungry, and I'm sure I'll be tired after the high wears off (no, I'm not on anything, having fun just gives me lots of energy) So good night to you all.

I wish it was raining. I'm in the mood for a long walk in the rain without an umbrella.

Well, second and last day of calving for this semester is done. Another fun day. Didnt really take many pictures this go around. Only two calves born, both natural births. Just wait, on monday, the day I was -supposed- to go if I hadnt switched with Mandy, there'll be a c-section or somthing else interesting, for sure. *chuckles* That's my luck, all right.

I didnt really do much with the calves today, myself. There were 5 girls, plus Dr.Blair. So rather than stand around and watch, I mucked stalls all day. It was a really great physical day, which is exactly what I needed. It was just great. Nothing like physical labor to get your mind off your troubles. And it was a gorgeous day too. Not sure what it got up to, (weather network says got up to 11 in the city, but that may or may not be the same as what it got to out where we were, about 40 min outside of the city) but the sun was shining, and I was sweating in shirt sleeves. I love spring.. Played with the barn cats lots and listened to the birds sing in the trees.

Two close encounters with moma cows though. One of them (who we knew to be agressive but thought we were ok because she was locked in a stall) busted the bolt on the latch that was holding the stall closed. I just happened to have my head against said stall door at the time because I was watching Brad (Dr.Blair) hook the calf to drag it closer to us so we could get it out to process it. So yeah, the stall door hit me in the head with considerable force. Luckily my skull is thick enough that it didnt hurt much. *chuckles* But it took me a couple of hours to realize that she actually hit that door with enough force that the bolt had snapped. That's probably all that saved me from being nocked out cold.

The other incident was less violent. We'd already moved Moma out to one of the outdoor shelters, and we were processing baby. Well, there was a noise from outside, and Ashley Bowler was like "mom's locked up, right?" We're all like "Yeah, Dr.Blair locked her up" Next thing you know, there's moma comming into the barn. *chuckles* I dont think I've ever climbed a fence that fast in my life. I was chuckling to my self about it for the next hour or so. Moma had actually nocked down a fence to get back to her calf. She wasn't a violent mom, thank goodness, so she probably wouldnt have hurt us, but the whole climb the fence thing (8 foot fences, btw) was total instinct. Height = safety. *chuckles*

But no, fun day in all. *nods* I'll look forward to doing it again next year, for sure.

I swear, some times I spend more time arguing with the bloody program over formatting of my notes than actually studying. Stupid thing.

I'm also definitely not getting enough sleep, or at least not good enough sleep, if I'm tired enough to want to go to bed this early this many nights in a row.

At least I can sleep in tomorrow.

Bwahahah! Beat the sleet home! Poor suckers who didnt listen to the weather and didnt bring an umbrella..

It's amazing the memories this spring is bringing back for me. It's been 7 years since I've experienced spring in the northern half of the province. I didn't realize how much I missed it. I think you feel it more here than in Calgary. In Calgary, things warm up, but it doesnt really feel like spring to me till the trees start budding. Here, everything just shouts spring joyously after a long cold winter. 

The snow is almost gone in most places that get sun for a good part of they day, and a lot of the puddles have dried up, but walking home from the bus stop this afternoon, the smell just hit me. I cant even describe it. It's sun warmed pavement and dust, but somthing else too, that you only smell in the spring. It brought back childhood days of playing in the puddles and collecting the gravel off the road to dump down the storm drains. Finally not having to put on snow pants to go put and play, and getting to wear the spring jacket instead.

I have a lot of great memories from my childhood here, even if I would never be living here now by choice..

But I miss the smell of the sap rising in the poplars as I go by them every night on the train on the way home from work. That is the way spring smells to me now, and I miss it. I cant wait to go home.

Whee! Much happiness in the world of Angi. Went shopping for new frames yesterday with mom, and I found the perfect ones! More like my old ones. Less oval more rectangular. I'm in love *grins* So now I just have to get my eyes checked in case my prescription has changed when I'm home for the summer in a month, and I'll have new glasses! *dances*


Update  Looking at the photos I took, I'm thinking maybe they're too wide for my face... Hmm. Have to get a few opinions and try them on again when I go home in a month. May have to wait till the styles change again. All the styles seem to have that width in common right now..

Nrrg... So tired..

Early bed tonight, one way or another, or I'll never make it through tomorrow, getting up at 4:30 for clinic care..